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I think you guys will like this...

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95 of 114 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Star Wars: A No Hope, September 12, 2006
By  R. Schneblin (CA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
INTERIOR: REBEL BLOCKADE RUNNER -- CORRIDOR

The angry Darth Vader stands amid the broken and twisted DVDs of 2004 versions of Star Wars.

IMPERIAL OFFICER: The new version is only a poor copy of the laserdisk, and it's only provided as a special feature.

Vader squeezes the neck of George Lucas, who struggles in vain.

VADER: Where is the original film? What have you done with the 1977 theatrical release?

Vader lifts General Lucas off his feet by his throat.

VADER: What have you done with the anamorphic widescreen?

LUCAS: The original negative is in too bad a shape to make a better copy.

VADER: If the original is in such bad condition, how did you make the 2004 edit version?

The Dark Lord begins to squeeze the producer's throat, creating a gruesome snapping and choking, until Lucas goes limp.

VADER: Commander, tear LucasFilm apart until we have a true version, and make sure it has the original 5.1 SOUND!!

 

I laughed when I first read this (I don't mean to offend George Lucas) and I knew you guys would appreciate. I bet one of you guys wrote it. :)

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monkeyjb1988 said:


I bet one of you guys wrote it. :)


No, "us guys" know that the original 6-track mix was 4.2, not 5.1.

;)

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INTERIOR: REBEL BLOCKADE RUNNER -- CORRIDOR

The angry Darth Vader stands amid the DVDs of 2004 versions of Star Wars.

IMPERIAL OFFICER: The new version is a good copy of the laserdisk, and it's provided as a special feature.

Vader squeezes the neck of the OT fans, who struggles in vain.

VADER: Whats the problem here? Were you too cheap to buy a laserdisc player and get the definitive THX version? You know

            they're quite cheap now.


Vader lifts the picky OT fan off his feet by his throat.

VADER: Why haven't you figured out how to use the g-force script/filters or any of the myriad fan made versions if you really want to see a higher quality version?

OT Picky fan: Because i'm too lazy to figure it for myself, and I wanted it handed to me for free, since i obviously deserve it.

VADER: You do know you can get the high definition 1080p SE versions for free anywhere on the internet?

The Dark Lord begins to squeeze the picky OT fan, creating a gruesome snapping and choking, until the fan goes limp.

VADER: Commander, tell the fans, they will NEVER be getting a version in high definition, because we could care less about Bluray/sony/or for

            any of those other annoying formats. Digital all the way!

EDIT : lucas as a force 'ghost' looks on, smiling his approval and nodding in agreement

[no GOUT in CED?-> GOUT CED]