Lesser, this is a response to your comment!
I want to start off with what you said about Leia. I agree with you partially on that, but I actually think that Leia is having to deal with her unresolved atonement with her father through her son. Luke was not responsible for his Father being evil, so regardless of that, Leia is still having to deal with the complicated feelings of finding a way to forgive someone you love that has hurt you. And yeah, Leia might not feel as guilty as Luke does, but Leia does feel guilty for her son. In TFA, she blames it partially on Snoke and herself for sending Ben away in the first place. So she still feels a guilt of a mother who feels like she has failed at raising her son, and I think through this she is going to understand how to atone with her father as well.
When it comes to Reylo, and the idea of redemption in general, I think one has to keep in mind that the Saga is giving us themes through the lens of a fairy tale, so the drastic actions these characters take, like murder and torture, these are just analogous to the average, common mistakes and bad decisions we make in our everyday lives. But when these characters can be forgiven for things that seem really bad to us, it can make finding forgiveness for others for making more normal mistakes seems a lot easier in comparison.
So for example, Darth Vader can be seen as being metaphorical for the absent father, or even just a man who was not always the perfect father to his son. And Luke’s journey is about a boy whose idealized perception of his dad is shattered when he starts growing up and realizes his father is a flawed human being, just like everyone else. So, Luke’s story is a coming-of-age story, partially about a son forgiving his father for his mistakes and learning to love him despite that.
So we need to look at Kylo Ren in a similar way. Kylo is like a rebellious teenaged boy who has made a lot of stupid decisions that teenagers commonly make. He’s like the Biblical prodigal son. But 7 and 8 have also tried to show us that Kylo partially feels that his actions are justified because he thinks he has been abandoned and mistreated. He feels alone, and so does Rey. Yes, Rey and Kylo have fought and hurt each other, but that doesn’t negate the possibility of ever understanding each other. Have you never seen kids who have gotten into fist fights who end up being friends afterward?
And yeah, Rey is not going to fall in love with him after one fireside conversation, but since the interrogation in TFA, they have begun to see each others thoughts and feelings. This is exacerbated by the Force bond, and it appears that the moment they touched hands, it was like they were seeing all of themselves. It was like a Vulcan mind-meld, where they could, for the briefest moment, understand each other completely. Like two becoming one. To me, that is super powerful stuff, to imagine being flooded with the emotions of my enemy, momentarily empathizing with them in the purest way possible.
After that point, I think you could argue they can potentially know each more than even two lovers might.
But, I see where you’re coming from. Some people are concerned that Reylo reinforces the trope where the Girl who thinks “I Can Fix Him”, or the All Girls Want Bad Boys, Beauty and the Beast/Stockholme Syndrome trope.
Now, how this plays out depends on IX, but TLJ actually rejects this trope. For a point, Rey does think that if she does go to Kylo, that he will in fact turn back to the light. But, she turns out to be wrong. Rey being there was not enough to bring Kylo back to the good side. So, she leaves and, both literally and metaphorically, shuts the door on him. To a lot of people, this felt like Rey deciding that if Kylo/Ben is going to change, he has to be the one to initiate that change. Not her. She tried. And now, as Rian puts it in the commentary, they’re enemies, but complicated enemies.
And yeah, how they execute the last third of Kylo and Rey’s arcs in IX is going to determine its overall success, but I think it is naive for people to think that is just impossible for them to pull off a satisfying redemption, or even a satisfying relationship for the two of them. I think that just because you can’t imagine a scenario where it can work, doesn’t mean you should already accept that it can’t be done at all. They may have figured something out! It might be like what you’re imagining, or it might not! I think all that JJ and Chris wish is that people engage themselves with their story with an open mind and a willingness to be surprised.
I think it is just good to keep in mind that this Saga is about Hope, Redemption and Forgiveness, and while we shouldn’t compare a fairy tale 1:1 with reality, we should try to see how these themes can be applied to our own lives in order to benefit the relationships we have with others. I think that’s what they’re all about, in my opinion.
Also wanted to say I appreciate your civility, man! You didn’t come off as rude at all. I hope I don’t sound condescending either. If I do, I totally don’t mean to. This is just me trying to get out my own thoughts on it to share with you!