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Episode IX: A New Order (Alpha version released)

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 (Edited)

At first I didn’t really enojoy the movie. After watching it some more times, I’m getting to accept it, even if I still don’t like Palpatine’s return because of how it weakens Anakin’s sacrifice and, most importantly, him being the Chosen One. Plus, the plot is generally a videogame-like sequence of events. “Oh, we have to search this thing so that we can find that thing so that we can find that planet”.
But I’ll work with what I have.

OVERALL CHANGES:

  1. Color correction. I HATE colors in this movie. Everything is blue: Exegol, Kijimi, the opening with Finn and Poe, the Star Destroyers’ interiors. I want more diversity. Exegol will be more black and grey, just as the Star Destroyers.
  2. Added music tracks. I’ve started working with Audacity, and even though it’s not perfect I think it can be used to isolate voices and replace music tracks when needed. Update: I can’t do much with this. Even though Audacity has the feature “Isolate vocals”, that’s pretty much useless here.

COMPLETE CHANGELIST:

  1. New crawl. No mention of Palpatine, but infos about Rey being tormented by visions fueled by her bond with Kylo.
  2. Movie starts as the original. Mustafar and Exegol. But Palpatine does not order Kylo to kill Rey. He WANTS Rey. Let’s try to make it all easier than Palpatine wanting Rey first (when she was born), then Kylo and then Rey again.
  3. Color correcter Exegol. Now it’s grey-black.
  4. Cut out the entire Finn/Poe sequence. Pretty useless. And cutting this makes the opening slower, something which the movie needs.
  5. Cut Kylo touching Vader’s mask while Rey is training.
  6. Added small shots during Rey’s vision (Rey and Palpatine’s lightnings, Palpatine’s face from ROTS, etc).
  7. Added track while Rey and Leia chat.
  8. Removed the “I will earn Luke’s saber”. Rey just gives Leia the lightsaber.
  9. Recolored Resistance base interior. I reduced that green-ish tone.
  10. Added Palpatine’s Fortnite message after Rey asks “What’s the message?”.
  11. Removed the “Somehow Palpatine’s returned” and “Secrets only the Sith knew” stuff.
  12. Added short track from ROTS.
  13. Recolored Star Destroyer’s interior. Reduced blue.
  14. Trimmed Kylo’s meeting with officials. Removed Boolio. Removed General saying that she likes Kylo’s mask.
  15. Removed alien child on Pasaana asking Rey who she is.
  16. Re-added here Kylo touching Vader’s mask. He uses it to connect more easily with Rey.
  17. Kylo doesn’t say “Palpatine wants you dead”, but only “Palpatine wants you”.
  18. Removed the “Uuuuh, I’m so evil” shot of Pryde (body in dark, eyes lit).
  19. Rey does not say that Ochi’s ship reminds her of something.
  20. Finn does not want to tell ANYTHING to Rey. Yes, he is Force sensitive, but I hated this ridiculous subplot which at the end didn’t bring to anything.
  21. The Sith Dagger is just a Sith Dagger. It doesn’t affect Rey in any way, because Ochi didn’t murder her parents with it.
  22. Added second First Order transport with Chewie inside leaving the planet.
  23. Added short visions to Rey while she Force pulls the transport.
  24. This triggers her memory. Her parents left her to keep her safe from Palpatine, but she blew their ship up with Force lightning. Added: 1- esplosion effect to her parents’ ship leaving her on Jakku. 2-Lightning effect. -3) Luke saying “You killed him”.
  25. Aboard Ochi’s ship, Rey (who now remembers that she killed her parents and believes that she killed Chewie too) tells Finn that she had a vision. In the original she goes on saying that the vision is about the Throne of the Sith. Here I cut just at “I had a vision”. Now it looks like she tells Finn that she killed her parents because she saw it.
  26. Removed the whole “Chewie is alive”. After the Falcon being taken aboard the SD, we return to Ochi’s ship.
  27. Removed chat about R2 having 3PO’s memory backup. 3PO does not recover his memories. Consequences!
  28. Removed Rey saying that she remembers things about the day her parents left her.
  29. Added subtitles and deeper inverted voice to 3PO. He clearly states that the Wayfinder is inside the Emperor’s Throne room in DSII. We don’t hear Finn saying “The Endor system?”. They still need Zori or Babu to translate.
  30. Restructured Rey-Kylo Force duel. Kylo’s first dialogue works well even with the whole “Rey killed her parents” stuff. He says things like “I pushed you because I needed you to see, who you are”, meaning that Palpatine told him everything, and that she is deeply linked to the Dark Side. Then I changed Kylo’s phrases order. FIRST he says that she remembers more than she says (at which she replies “Don’t!”), then he speaks about her parents (and her reaction is more desperate: “I don’t want this!”). At the end, again, he says “You know why the Emperor’s always wanted you”.
  31. No Finn/Poe chat about what Finn wanted to tell Rey.
  32. Recolored SD hangar.
  33. Rey is still a Palpatine. So nothing changed about that. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m a part of the small group of people who LOVED The Last Jedi and “Rey Noone”. But in this first edit I wanted to try keep that twist/retcon.
  34. Aboard the Falcon, Rey does not say “HE killed my mother and my father, I’m going to kill blablabla”, but “I killed my mother and my father”. At which Finn looks worried and replies “Rey, I know you” and stuff goes on as the original.
  35. Removed Palpatine Force asking Kylo why Rey is still alive. I get that his plan here is still to have Kylo be his vessel (with Rey dead) and that his plan changes only after Kylo gets redeemed (he clearly says “The Princess of Alderaan disrupted my plans”). But his whole plan is just confusing.
  36. No ridiculous Sith Dagger having the shape of the Death Star wreckage. They already know where the Wayfinder is.
  37. No Maz being Captain Obvious about what Leia is going to do.
  38. Added ROTS music tracks during Rey and Kylo’s duel.
  39. Leia’s body disappears just after Han’s vision/memory (hinting that she did that).
  40. No Star Destroyer blowing Kijimi. These are normal Destroyers. No superlaser. They are a huge fleet, that’s scary enough.
  41. Finn and Poe still talk about D-O being the droid of Ochi and the stuff about them going to Exegol. After all we know that Ochi is a Sith loyalist (3PO said that in Pasaana’s underground cave). But no mention of him having to bring Rey to Exegol. The information is still important because they can link D-O to Resistance systems and study an attack plan.
  42. Removed Luke saying that a Jedi’s weapon deserves more respect. That’s just “Oh, look, TLJ sucked because of that scene”.
  43. No Luke or Leia always knowing about Rey Palpatine. Luke knows it NOW, because he is a Force ghost and so he can know stuff.
  44. Color corrected Ach-To.
  45. Trimmed 3PO translating R2 to hide the fact that he restored his memory. For example, he calls Luke just “Luke” and not “Master Luke”, because he doesn’t know who Luke is.
  46. No Holdo maneuver mention. Every connection in this movie with TLJ feels like two things: “Oh, look how bad TLJ was”, OR “Look, audience who enjoyed TLJ, we are talking about THAT thing! Happy now?”.
  47. Addes ROTS short track during the first act of Exegol’s battle.
  48. Palpatine says to Rey “Your anger… you want to kill me, like your parents! That is what I want!”.
  49. No chat about her parents being strong. Considering that she’s the one who killed them I’d keep their presence the shortest possible.
  50. Masked lightsabers to make them look blue even though I reduced it on Exegol.
  51. No Poe saying that every Destroyer’s cannon destroyed is a world saved.
  52. No Poe saying to Zori “You’ve made it!”, because Kijimi is still there.
  53. Recolored Palpatine’s Force drain. Maybe green? To hint that is some Nightsisters’ power?
  54. Added subtle presence of Anakin’s Force ghost during the final act of battle. I masked him raising his arm to Force choke Padme, and it kinda looks like he’s the one repelling Palpy’s lightning. It doesn’t look really good, but for a V1 I’ll keep it.
  55. No Rey-Kylo kissing. I LOVED Rogue One’s ending, where Jin and Cassian clearly had feelings for each other, but they didn’t need to express it like that.
  56. No Maz giving Chewie Han’s medal.
  57. Added Kylo and Anakin’s ghosts at the end (taken from that YouTube video that was posted somewhere).

I’m not sure this edit will make the movie better, but I’m sure that with other edits we will be able to come out with something watchable. I just hope this can give someone else ideas.

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

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Some tests.







Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

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 (Edited)

Your change list is great as is the colour correction for Exogol, for the scenes with Rey I think the colours might be a little too washed out.

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

Author
Time

I agree with you. Her face looks grey-ish. I tried to remove the yellow tone on the background…

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

Author
Time

Test for Palpatine’s message.
https://vimeo.com/399876146
pw: fanedit

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

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Time
 (Edited)

Seamless! Extra points for getting rid of “sOMhOw…Pappa’s back”.

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

Author
Time

And also the “Secrets only the Sith knew” is gone 😉

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

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Time

I don’t know if I can create ex nihilo a new establishing shot after the crawl. So I’ll have to start the movie with Kylo going to Mustafar.

Here’s my crawl. Please, if anyone tells me what he thinks about it, it’ll be appreciated.

*The spark of rebellion has engulfed the First Order.
SUPREME LEADER Kylo Ren, wanting to rule over a new Empire,
searches the source of the Sith power that Snoke mastered.

Although her son’s assault has taken a toll on her,
General Leia Organa teaches the young girl REY the ways of the Jedi,
hoping to help her commune with the long gone knights.

As Poe Dameron and Finn struggle to find the truth about a
possible spy among the ranks of the First Order, Kylo Ren
travels to Mustafar to find an ancient device that could lead him to
his master’s mysterious home planet.*

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

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Is it me or does Palpatine look even scarier in a grey light? 😮

As for the Audacity thing, coincidentally, that’s what I plan on doing for my own fan edit, Batman Forever Noir.

Regarding your planned changes and the new opening crawl, I’ll admit they sound challenging, although not impossible. I’ll be looking forward to a sneak peek of this ambitious cut of yours very soon!

“The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.”
-Sheev Palpatine, Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Author
Time

FWIW, Here’s a quick stab at a crawl. Do with it whatever you like:

The spark of rebellion has engulfed the First Order. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, protective of his newfound reign, searches relentlessly for the source of his former master’s power.

Rey continues her Jedi training under the ailing General Leia Organa, hoping to commune with her spiritual predecessors.

As Resistance operatives pursue intel from a possible spy within First Order ranks, Kylo Ren travels to Mustafar to reclaim his grandfather’s SITH WAYFINDER…

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

Author
Time

Lol, you’re always helpful 😄
Thank you, Hal, I’ll surely use at least some of this

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

Author
Time

Here’s my own stab at an opening crawl. I tried to get the same info across, but with a few tweaks:

A spark of hope! Waves of rebellion have engulfed the First Order.
Supreme Leader KYLO REN searches for the source of his master’s
dark power, hoping to bend the galaxy to his will.

As Resistance agents gain information from a secret First Order
spy, General LEIA ORGANA trains her apprentice REY in the ways
of the Force, with the help of ancient Jedi texts.

On the volcanic planet Mustafar, Kylo rages in search of an artifact
owned by his grandfather, which legend says will lead him to a secret
world in the Unknown Regions, home to a familiar dark influence…

My preferred saga experience:
ANH (4K77), ESB (Harmy), ROTJ (4K83).
Everything else is optional.

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Thank you all 😉

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

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Time

https://vimeo.com/400024532
pw: fanedit

As title says, this is the first Rey’s training scene, but without Ben touching Vader’s mask.
I think the first part of the movie really needs less interacting scenes. Plus, Ben with Vader’s mask is useless. Rey has a vision, that’s all. Probably because she’s training, or because she just used the Force to grab that stick and the lightsaber.
You can also see my first attempt at color correcting.

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

Author
Time

Some other comparisons.
So, right now the movie opens with Kylo going to Mustafar and then on Exegol. Basically all the same, except we don’t read anything about Palpatine in the crawl.
After that we go directly to Rey and her training. No interference from Ben touching Vader’s mask, and totally removed scene with Finn and Poe.
Then we hear Palpatine’s voice message.
Then blablabla, we get to Kylo and KnightsOfRen and the meeting with First Order officials. No Boolio, no woman saying that she likes Kylo’s mask.
Then go to Pasaana. Here I added a small scene of Kylo touching Vader’s mask, and that act begins to connect Rey and Ben.

CHANGES: reduces blues, enhanced reds and added subtle light glow.



Tried to reduce the over-the-top yellows.


Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Man does JJ loves his blue, glad it’s gone!

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

Author
Time

This reminds me of Fringe. Blue lens flares everywhere.

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

IlFanEditore said:

Some other comparisons.
So, right now the movie opens with Kylo going to Mustafar and then on Exegol. Basically all the same, except we don’t read anything about Palpatine in the crawl.
After that we go directly to Rey and her training. No interference from Ben touching Vader’s mask, and totally removed scene with Finn and Poe.
Then we hear Palpatine’s voice message.
Then blablabla, we get to Kylo and KnightsOfRen and the meeting with First Order officials. No Boolio, no woman saying that she likes Kylo’s mask.
Then go to Pasaana. Here I added a small scene of Kylo touching Vader’s mask, and that act begins to connect Rey and Ben.

CHANGES: reduces blues, enhanced reds and added subtle light glow.



Tried to reduce the over-the-top yellows.


I see a bit of color fringing and clipping especially on the sky region. I suggest push the temperature to a more orange-red tone similar to Jedha in Rogue One, Jakku in TFA, the sequence of Threepio and Artoo walking towards the palace in ROTJ.

this post has been edited.

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And here goes the second transport on Pasaana with Chewie inside.
Small, subtle, but useful IMHO.

https://vimeo.com/400221468
pw:fanedit

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

Author
Time

Dat_SW_Guy said:

IlFanEditore said:

Some other comparisons.
So, right now the movie opens with Kylo going to Mustafar and then on Exegol. Basically all the same, except we don’t read anything about Palpatine in the crawl.
After that we go directly to Rey and her training. No interference from Ben touching Vader’s mask, and totally removed scene with Finn and Poe.
Then we hear Palpatine’s voice message.
Then blablabla, we get to Kylo and KnightsOfRen and the meeting with First Order officials. No Boolio, no woman saying that she likes Kylo’s mask.
Then go to Pasaana. Here I added a small scene of Kylo touching Vader’s mask, and that act begins to connect Rey and Ben.

CHANGES: reduces blues, enhanced reds and added subtle light glow.



Tried to reduce the over-the-top yellows.


I see a bit of color fringing and clipping especially on the sky region. I suggest push the temperature to a more orange-red tone similar to Jedha in Rogue One, Jakku in TFA, the sequence of Threepio and Artoo walking towards the palace in ROTJ.

Thanks. I’ll try 😉

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

Author
Time

The “Rey killing her parents” will never be perfect, unless someone makes totally new shots.
Here’s my test. I’m not satisfied, but I hope it can be useful as a concept for others.

I’ll keep working on this.
The problem is: is it that clear the Occhi’s ship is the same one Rey blew up? How can this inconsistency be fixed?

https://vimeo.com/400251919
pw: fanedit

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

Author
Time

Really like the use of flashbacks but it would be better to use them sparingly in the scene.
I think instead of blowing up Ochi’s ship she would have electrocuted it, causing it to crash.
This could be illustrated with bolts of lightning circulating the ship ala Palpatine and the fleet - to imply the ship falling down, you could cut to black and use crash land SFX.

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

Author
Time

Lol, that’s just too much for my ability 😄
I don’t know… if I can make it cohesive and bearable to watch ok. Otherwise I’ll keep the original version.

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

Author
Time

Fair fair.

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

Author
Time

Well, we’ll see how it goes.

“The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.”
-Sheev Palpatine, Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (2005)