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DuracellEnergizer's Ultimate Miscellaneous SW Fanfic Brainstorming/World-Building Thread

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Between my Ep. III re-write, my Superman trilogy, and the two or three original stories I want to write, it’s likely going to be quite awhile before I begin work on a sequel trilogy re-write. But an alternate ST is most definitely what I’m working towards; all the SW stories written thus far – all the SW stories to be written – have just been precursor to that. My ST will be my farewell letter to SW fan-fiction; it will be the conclusion to the saga I have been working on over a decade, and I will have no wish or desire to continue in that universe henceforth.

But there’s a question nagging at me: What is to be the story for my ST?

For years now, I had a specific vision in mind. The timeframe: 40-44 ABY. The setting: the post-war New Republic/Imperial Remnant. The main character: Anakin Solo. The plot: A restored Sith Order – in command of a clone army left over from the Clone Wars – would emerge from the Unknown Regions to invade the New Republic/Imperial Remnant. In essence, this ST would take aspects from the New Jedi Order and Legacy of the Force series’ and rework them into a proper story which would finally see the conflict between the Jedi and Sith resolved for all time. But then arose some problems.

Problem #1: I’d have to read the entire NJO and LOTF books to know what to take from them, then I’d have to fit the pieces together in a way where they worked flawlessly together. I’m not keen on reading those books, anyway, plus all that puzzle-building? It’s far too much work; I don’t think I could manage it.

Problem #2: This ST would start off with Han & Leia having three fully-grown children and Luke being married to Mara Jade. For readers immersed in the EU, this would be no problem; they’re already familiar with the characters and need no introduction. But what about readers who don’t follow the EU closely? I want my ST to be accessible to everyone. How do I introduce these characters who clearly have a lot of history behind them without resorting to a load of exposition? Perhaps a strong writer can do the job, but I don’t believe I’m that strong a writer.

So even though I believe the story of this ST is a great one and would serve as an excellent conclusion to the story begun in my PT, I fear it may have to be abandoned for a simpler narrative.

Now we come to my alternate, alternate ST. Why not take elements from the Thrawn Trilogy, the Dark Empire Trilogy, the Jedi Academy Trilogy, and work them into a single trilogy of the rise of Luke’s New Jedi Order and the fall of Palpatine’s Dark Side Elite? Here’s what I’m picturing:

The timeframe: 11-13 ABY. The setting: the cold war-era New Republic/Imperial Remnant. The plot: As Luke begins searching the Galaxy for prospective apprentices, the Dark Empire – an Imperial faction which has been hidden away in the Deep Core the past several years – emerges. The Dark Empire – ruled by the Dark Side Elite, their fleet commanded by Grand Admiral Thrawn – attacks the New Republic and the cold war turns hot again. As the Imperial and Republic Starfleets clash, the Dark Side Elite – led by the mysterious Dread Lord Caedus – seeks to summon the spirit of Palpatine back from the netherworld of the Force and incarnate him in a new body. But no ordinary body will do; Palpatine can only be reborn in the body of a Skywalker. Leia just so happens to be with child. Thus Caedus makes it a top priority that she be captured and brought to the Deep Core world of Byss.

That’s what I have so far. Should I go with it? Should I stick to my original ST storyline and figure out how to work around its problems? Thoughts? Ideas? I welcome anything anyone has to give me.

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.

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Some of these ideas are alright, but I personally prefer the first one (taking place circa 40 ABY) than the second (circa 11 ABY), so you can delve into the future generation of the Jedi. Sure a lot of it seems complicated, but like with anything else, it’s how you approach it.

In case of Mara Jade, I’d hide her away for Episode 7, only mentioned-not seen-in dialogue between characters, e.g. Luke talking to young Ben (who could be Anakin Solo’s pupil), saying that his mother is proud of him. When episode 8 comes around, we’re introduced to Mara, secretly fighting off the Sith invasion and through that, you can delve into her backstory, allowing her to act as the Yoda of the ST.

Something similar would happen with other famous EU characters. People like Kyle Katarn and Corran Horn can be shown on the Jedi Council, Talon Karrde is head of the Smuggler’s Alliance, Pellaeon working with New Republic Intelligence, and so on. Each of these would be more or less side characters, who still manage to shine in their own way, as they use their political/Force prowess to learn more of this oncoming threat, and you can even have them become involved in the battles of each installment, with the Jedi using the Force to coordinate and destroy Sith soldiers, and non-Jedi helping to infiltrate the Sith. Same can also apply with EU worlds, like Ossus (which can be used more for Episode 8).

Also, and most importantly, I’d suggest to not make Ben or any of the Solo kids turn to the Dark Side. I found it dumb and stupid in LotF when they did it to Jacen (who seemed like a good character before the shenanigans of the 2000s books), and if you’re canonizing the EU/Legends (specifically the Bantam era of books) in your ST, you’re better off without that.

… And that’s all I can think of right now. I hope this helps.

"Adventure, excitement. A Jedi craves not these things!"

- Yoda

W.S.

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Thanks for the tips. I’ll keep them in mind.

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.

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There is one upshot of having 3 offspring of Han and Leia - Each one can channel a unique mix of the parents’ personalities. One may be the cocksure hothead, one would be the diplomat, and one could be very different to the others in some way. Since everyone would have imagined their own version of Han and Leia’s kids, this would give them what they imagined, and something more.

I don’t remember much about the EU. I read a bunch of the books as a kid, up until I got bored in the Yuuzhan Vong war. The big problem with most of them is that they failed to translate the deep themes of the movies into novel form. Star Wars, at least in the OT, wasn’t a comic book with villains of the week with splashy superpowers. Nor was it military science fiction, despite the name. The biggest missing element in the books was that they forgot (or were never aware) that Star Wars was an epic myth about growing up in rural America. Here we have a Midwestern farm-boy forever on the frontier, forever wanting to be elsewhere. It’s about him fulfilling the old American dream of becoming a self-made man, even if the dream threatens to become a nightmare. It is about navigating the desolate wasteland that is American folklore, a strange mix of alien cultures and Eastern Mysticism wrapped in a Western religious epistemology. Finally, it is about embracing the new folklore of pulpy romance and swashbuckling adventure in the movies, and making of it something more than its schlocky origins.

If you manage to make a story that taps into these themes, or similar themes of the 21st century, it won’t much matter if the story is sufficiently integrated with the EU.

DuracellEnergizer: “^He’s embraced the absurd. Don’t expect to gain any conventional understanding from his posts.”
A New Hope Technicolor Recreation (Released!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V2 Released!) and Starlight Project

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Just to cut down on too many superfluous threads and keep extraneous posts from choking up other threads, I’ve decided to make this my go-to brainstorming/world-building thread for my various ongoing/in-development/planned re-writes/spinoffs/etc.

The below are two posts I originally posted in my Lost Hope thread. I’m transplanting them here 'cause I’m going to delete them there.

94 BBY

  • Clone Wars begin with the First Clone War

91 BBY

  • First Clone War ends

86 BBY

  • Ben Kenobi is born

84 BBY

  • Siri Tachi is born

83 BBY

  • Kane Skywalker & Nellith Whitesun are married on Taris
  • Owen Lars is born

79 BBY

  • Second Clone War begins
  • Beru Skywalker is born
  • Kane, Nellith, & Beru move to Tatooine

71 BBY

  • Anakin Skywalker is born

70 BBY

  • Ben leaves Tatooine to begin his training under Yoda
  • Second Clone War ends
  • Galactic Republic becomes the Galactic Empire

69 BBY

  • Third Clone War begins

67 BBY

  • Ben finishes his training under Yoda, starts going under the name “Obi-Wan”, and enlists in the Imperial Army
  • Nashira DuQuesne is born

60 BBY

  • Darth Vader is born

56 BBY

  • The events of Star Wars: The New Dawn transpire

51 BBY

  • The events of Star Wars: Knight of the Empire transpire
  • Clone Wars end with the Third Clone War

36-35 BBY

  • The events of Star Wars: A Lost Hope transpire

34 BBY

  • Great Jedi Purge begins

30 BBY

  • Great Jedi Purge ends

18 BBY

  • Luke Skywalker & Leia Organa are born

Since I embarked on this grand endeavour of mine to re-write the prequels, when it came to envisioning certain actors as certain characters, I always went the timeless route – ie. I’d pick whichever actors I felt best suited the characters, whether they were contemporaneous or not, etc.

However, lately I came to wonder who I’d cast if I had to work with actors who were alive specifically when the actual PT was filmed – alive, and the right ages to play their allotted characters. As I have (undiagnosed) OCD, this idea took root and just wouldn’t let me alone. Thus I felt compelled to abandon my fanciful timeless cast list and come up with something more grounded.

TPM was filmed in 1997; AOTC in 2000; ROTS in 2003. Who was around in those years? Who could’ve believably portrayed the characters as I conceived them? Here’s my new list.


CAST OF A NEW DAWN

  • Kenneth Branagh as Obi-Wan Kenobi (holdover from my original list)
  • Joel Edgerton as Owen Lars (holdover)
  • Sarah Gadon as Nashira DuQuesne
  • Lance Henriksen as Pre Vizsla (holdover)
  • Iman as Adi Gallia
  • Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu (holdover)
  • Ewan McGregor as Qui-Gon Jinn
  • Alannah Myles as Zul Danaan (holdover)
  • Nichelle Nichols as Lwa (holdover)
  • Lindsay Wagner as Nellith Skywalker
  • Jimmy Smits as Capt. Bail Organa (holdover)
  • Naomi Watts as Siri Tachi (holdover)
  • Illya Woloshyn as Anakin Skywalker
  • Catherine Zeta-Jones as Cmdr. Raia Vaness

CAST OF KNIGHT OF THE EMPIRE

  • Pernilla August as Shmi Warka (holdover)
  • Christian Bale as Anakin Skywalker
  • Jane Fonda as Corin DuQuesne
  • Bob Gunton as Chlorian Vader
  • Laurie Holden as LUH-3417 (holdover)
  • Cameron Bright as Darth Vader
  • Jeremy Irons as Marka Ragnos
  • Temuera Morrison as Cmdr. Jango Cody (holdover)
  • Gregory Peck as Emperor Cos Dashit
  • Wayne Pygram as Lt. Cmdr. Wilhuff Tarkin
  • Mary Lynn Rajskub as Kathe Naad (holdover)
  • Robert Redford as Nemec DuQuesne
  • Ray Wise as Atha Prime
  • John Schneider as THX-1138 (holdover)
  • Dean Stockwell as UIY-5241/SN-2249 (holdover)
  • Joy Tanner as Dahlia Karin
  • Keegan Connor Tracy as Nykres Eikhan
  • Amy Adams as Nashira DuQuesne

CAST OF A LOST HOPE

  • This one I’ll save for a later date.

Not a flawless list, to be sure. Sarah Gadon didn’t actually begin her career until 1998, one year after filming of TPM wrapped up; Jane Fonda was retired during the '90s; and who likes recasts? Still, it saites the OCD.

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.

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Lately, I’ve being thinking that I may embark on a ROTJ re-write eventually. The film as-is is, IMO, not far removed from the PT quality-wise. The acting is better, the dialogue is better, and it isn’t a video game, but those are the film’s only saving graces. In all other regards, it’s just as sloppy with its plotting, characterization, and tone. Fan-edits may be able to patch up the surface flaws and apply a fresh coat of paint to the facade, but at its core, it’s a fundamentally broken film which cannot be repaired without a massive reshoot.

Since I’d be working with some EU in mind, this wouldn’t be as liberal a re-write as I’d prefer. Some things I’d rather do differently – the location of Jabba’s palace; the physical depiction and characterization of Palpatine; Leia’s status as Luke’s sister; etc. – I’d have to stick and work with. Other things, though – the nature of the second Death Star; Han’s rescue from Jabba’s palace; the portrayal of the Ewoks; Vader’s loyalties to Palpatine; Palpatine’s arguments to sway Luke to the dark side; Vader’s redemption – I’d have carte blanche on.

Below is the one scene I’ve re-written. It’s purpose is threefold: to reassert Vader’s desire to overthrow Palpatine, to emphasize his tragic nature, and to remove Luke’s unfounded conviction that Vader has good in him.


EXT. FOREST – IMPERIAL LANDING PLATFORM – EVENING

A Lambda-class shuttle floats down from space and lands gracefully on the huge platform. Concurrently, an AT-AT walker approaches the platform from the darkness of the forest. The whole outpost – platform, walkers, military – looks particularly offensive in the midst of this verdant beauty.

CUT TO

Darth Vader as he walks down the ramp of the shuttle onto the platform.

INT. IMPERIAL LANDING PLATFORM/LOWER DECK – EVENING

Vader takes a turbolift down to a lower level. Walking to the opposite end of the deck, he is met by CMDR. IGAR and three stormtroopers with Luke, in binders, at their centre. The young Jedi gazes at Vader with complete calm.

CMDR. IGAR: This is the Rebel who surrendered to us. Although he denies it, I believe there may be more of them, and I request permission to conduct a further search of the area. He was armed only with this.

The commander extends his hand, revealing Luke’s lightsaber. Vader takes the weapon from the commander’s hand.

DARTH VADER: Good work, Commander. Leave us. Conduct your search and bring his companions to me.

CMDR. IGAR: Yes, milord.

The officer and troops withdraw. Vader and Luke are left alone, the oddly tranquil beauty of the place surrounding them, the sounds of the forest filtering in upon them.

Together, father and son cross the deck.

DARTH VADER: The emperor has been expecting you.

LUKE: I know, Father.

DARTH VADER: So, you have accepted the truth.

LUKE: I’ve accepted the truth that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father.

DARTH VADER: (turns to Luke) That name no longer has any meaning for me.

LUKE: It is the name of your true self. You’ve only forgotten.

Vader looks down from Luke to the lightsaber in his own black-gloved hand. Vader ignites the lightsaber and holds it to examine its humming, brilliant emerald blade.

DARTH VADER: I see you have constructed a new lightsaber. (beat) Your skills are complete.

Vader extinguishes the lightsaber, then turns away from Luke.

DARTH VADER: Indeed, you are powerful as the emperor has foreseen.

LUKE: Is there any good in you, or has the emperor driven it from you fully?

DARTH VADER: Palpatine had promised an order for the Galaxy, a vision for the future I had believed in and fought for. That promised future is now, and the promise has been broken. (turns to Luke) The Empire has brought more chaos than it has order. Together, we will correct its course.

LUKE: I will not turn, and you’ll be forced to kill me.

DARTH VADER: That is not your destiny.

LUKE: (approaches Vader) Search your feelings, Father. You can’t do this. I feel the conflict within you! Let go of your lust!

Vader signals to a pair of hidden stormtroopers, who emerge from the turbolift.

DARTH VADER: The emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now.

He and Luke stand staring at one another for a long moment.

LUKE: Then my father is truly dead.

The stormtroopers escort Luke into the turbolift. They are gone, leaving the Dark Lord of the Sith alone with his thoughts.


Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.

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I’m presently working on the seventh draft of Knight of the Empire, and I’m more than halfway finished. I recently finished rewriting the sequence where Nykres Eikhan shows Anakin the birth of the Sith, in accordance with my revised portrayal of the Sith.

Anyone familiar with my particular tastes in SW will know that I’m not a fan of the Sith as they have been portrayed since 1999. Essentially everything that has become associated with the Sith since TPM’s release — the black clothing, the “scary” pale skin, yellow eyes, red lightsabers, social Darwinism — I dislike. So I made it a priority to distance my Sith from the “reverse Jedi” as much as possible. However, in the early drafts of KOTE, I went too far distancing my Sith from the popular depiction; the difference was so great my Sith no longer had any true kinship with the Jedi, which leeched the dualism right out of their relationship.

And so I dialed back my take on the Sith. The kinship with the Jedi has been restored, along with much of the backstory derived from the EU. Of course, I reframed much of it. The Jedi/Sith kinship had been restored, like I said, but the nature of that kinship is quite different.

Below is an excerpt from the rewritten Eikhan/Anakin sequence, detailing the new Sith (and Jedi) backstory.


EXT. SPACE — TYTHON SYSTEM (MINDSCAPE)

Eleven planets orbit an orange-yellow sun.

ANAKIN: Where are we?

NYKRES EIKHAN: The Tython system, 12,000 years past.

ANAKIN: (furrows brow) Tython system….

NYKRES EIKHAN: Know you it?

ANAKIN: Only from myth. The original home of the Jedi.

INT. FIFTH PLANET — BENDU MONASTERY — DAY (MINDSCAPE)

Before Eikhan and Anakin, TWO DOZEN STUDENTS — Human and non-Human alike — sit crossed-legged upon the stone floor. The only garments all of them wear are loose-fitting gray pants worn with orange sashes; those females with mammaries wear bandeaus while none of them wear shoes. The attention of the students is focused on their teacher, a WOOKIEE MONK. Unlike his students, the monk wears an orange robe with a silver-trimmed black tabard. Anakin’s eyes are drawn to the mural on the wall behind the monk. The mural consists of a taijitu symbol: two interlocking spirals, black and white, with dots of opposing colour superimposed on each spiral; black-and-white rays extend from the nexus of the interlocked spirals to the dots, bridging them.

ANAKIN: These aren’t Jedi.

Under the monk’s instruction, each student concentrates on using the Force to form their own individual pearlescent bubbles. None succeed; each bubble either implodes or explodes. Shaking his head with disappointment, the monk brings out his hand and forms his own bubble; reaching optimal size, it remains intact, shimmering with iridescence.

NYKRES EIKHAN: Monks of the Order of Bendu.

INT. BENDU DOJO — DAY (MINDSCAPE)

Before Eikhan and Anakin, TWO DOZEN STUDENTS — Human and non-Human alike — train with quarterstaffs. Like the monk’s students, they wear loose-fitting gray pants, though with blue sashes in place of orange. A MUSCULAR ZABRAK SENSEI, arms crossed over her chest, observes the students. Unlike her students, the sensei wears only a black fundoshi. One of the dojo walls bears a taijitu mural like the one in the monastery.

NYKRES EIKHAN: Warriors of the Bendu.

Some of the students prove either too reckless or too timid with their quarterstaffs. Shaking her head with disappointment, the sensei takes up her own quarterstaff and chooses two students from each camp to face her one-on-one. As the other students watch, their sensei lays both the timid and reckless student flat with ease. To her pupils, the sensei gives this adage: Without a fire kindled, you will freeze; without a fire controlled, you will burn.

INT. BENDU TEMPLE — DAY (MINDSCAPE)

Before Eikhan and Anakin, the Bendu monks and warriors kneel on the floor, praying together before a shrine. Suspended within the shrine is a large medallion bearing the taijitu.

NYKRES EIKHAN: The monks and warriors were unified by their shared belief and observance of the almighty Force. (beat) They recognized the Force’s dual nature. In this regard, they were as the Sith and Jedi. Yet their understanding of the duality was their own. In light, they saw darkness, and in darkness, light; in order, chaos, and order in the chaos. Good and evil, defined and defining each other. (beat) When balance between dark and light was not maintained, the universe travailed. So through balance the Bendu defined themselves. Only through the harmony of balance could they maintain a peaceful Galaxy.

ANCIENT REPUBLIC — MONTAGE (MINDSCAPE)

The Bendu monks and warriors are ubiquitous throughout the Ancient Republic. Wherever there are weak to defend, sick to heal, ruins to rebuild, or ignorant to teach, they are present.

NYKRES EIKHAN: From the Unification Wars to the Fifth Alsakan Conflict, the Bendu upheld the peace in the Ancient Republic. A thousand generations.

PIUS DEA CRUSADES — MONTAGE (MINDSCAPE)

On Coruscant, on a wide open plaza, a large group of people have assembled to observe a demonstration held by PIUS DEA ADHERENTS. Consisting solely of baseline Human personages with clean-shaven scalps, the cultists deliver a speech to the crowd with much passion, flourish, and rhetoric. They declare that their Goddess has given them a divine mandate to purge the non-Human elements from their society and bring jihad to the impure Hutt Empire. Some in the audience are disturbed by what they hear, but many more are held in awe and admiration of the cultists’ words.

In the Senate Hall on Coruscant, a man is sworn in as the new head of state. This is ALDON CONTISPEX, a Pius Dea adherent.

With Contispex in power, the Pius Dea gains control of the Republic government and military. Building a fleet of immense cathedral ships, the sect unleashes a series of crusades against the Hutt Empire and other rival civilizations. Within Republic borders, non-Human and near-Human citizens are subjected to inquisitions, pogroms, and worse.

Finding the actions of the Pius Dea-controlled Republic immoral, the Bendu sever their ties with the Republic. While some Bendu stay and fight, the majority extract themselves from Republic territory and retreat to the Tython system. Their neutrality does not save them. Blockading the Tython system, an armada of Republic cathedral ships attack and lay waste to the inhabited worlds, annihilating their denizens. The surviving Bendu, refined by the fire which claimed their brothers, cast aside their trademark quarterstaffs and take up Force-imbued swords.

After a thousand years of nigh-continuous warfare, the Pius Dea era finally draws to a close. The Crusades aren’t ended by heroism or brute strength or a momentous victory, but by exhaustion. Innumerable worlds have been depopulated or brought back to the Stone Age, the Known Galaxy’s technological infrastructure crippled; there is little left to fight for, even less to fight with.

NYKRES EIKHAN: (V.O.) With war’s end, the long night began. The Ancient Republic, the Hutt Empire — all ceased to be.

JEDHA — MONTAGE (MINDSCAPE)

Fleeing the sundered Republic, WAVES OF MIGRANTS come to the desert moon. Regardless of who they were or what they believed or who they once fought for, they have come here from depleted worlds to start their lives anew. Among these settlers is a significant number of Bendu.

NYKRES EIKHAN: (V.O.) For millennia, the Bendu had sought answer to a solitary question: “Why?” Why if they’d maintained harmonious balance did the Goddess of the Pius Dea find purchase in their charges’ hearts? Why had their brethren on Tython lacked clairvoyance enough to avoid holocaust? Why had their centuries-borne labours yielded ashes as reward? For millennia this question was asked, for millennia unanswered. The Bendu abandoned hope of ever receiving an answer. Then an answer was received: “Passivity.” Through serene contemplation of the universe, the old Bendu believed it would be persuaded to offer up mysteries. Delusion. The universe responses not to passive inquiry, but authoritative command. Through harmony, the old Bendu believed chaos and order could be preserved in balance. Harmony is a lie; the universe’s natural state is towards chaos. For order to persist, it must be actively imposed. This the old Bendu failed to learn, but the new Bendu would take to heart.

Together, the Bendu reach out with the Force, broadcasting a signal to the refugees scattered across the moon. Touching their minds, the Bendu compel the settlers to come to them. Packing their belongings, leaving/dismantling their disparate camps, the settlers make the journey by ship, speeder, or on foot to the site the Bendu have chosen for them — a great mesa. Once all have gathered together, the Bendu set about organizing them into a cohesive society. Construction soon begins on a majestic city.

Disharmonious elements inevitably arise among Jedha City’s populace, but the Bendu find a use for them. Arresting the thieves, murderers, rapists, and dissenters, the Bendu have them brought to their citadels. Taken down into subterranean cellars, the lawbreakers are subjected to the Bendu’s experiments — experiments to alter living matter through the dark side of the Force. These initial experimentations inevitably result in deleterious mutations, but the Bendu refine their techniques. With time, they put their newfound abilities to the task of reshaping Jedha’s biome in accordance with their will.

NYKRES EIKHAN: (V.O.; cont’d) Yet let there be no mistake — there remained Bendu possessed of the impotent Force.

Unnerved by what they’ve found in pursuit of absolute control, a substantial number of Bendu withdraw from the dark Force. Firmly adamant in returning to the path of their forebears, they try convincing the other Bendu to abandon the dark arts they’ve embraced and join them in sanctification in the light. Rebuffing their recalcitrant peers, the Bendu majority continue their dark side practices. Both sides firmly convinced they are right, the arguments turn into conflict.

NYKRES EIKHAN: (V.O.; cont’d) Once they were brothers in the Force, but the great schism between the dark side and the light turned Bendu against Bendu.

HUNDRED-YEAR DARKNESS — MONTAGE (MINDSCAPE)

Initially a localized conflict confined to the Bendu district of Jedha City, it spills out into the greater city once the light-aligned Bendu begin recruiting non-Bendu citizens to their cause. To combat the rising threat of the light Bendu, the dark-aligned Bendu use their alchemical talents to raise an army of dark side-enhanced warriors and abominations.

For the next hundred years, the two camps of Bendu fight for predominance. Truces are declared, followed by periods of uneasy peace, but they inevitably end. Jedha City itself changes hands many times as the numbers/strength of each camp waxes and wanes.

A final battle is then fought. A century of bloodshed ends decisively — with the dark Bendu’s surrender.

JEDHA SYSTEM — MONTAGE (MINDSCAPE)

NYKRES EIKHAN: (V.O.) They were defeated, driven out, cast out.

Deliberating amongst themselves, the light Bendu reach a decision: Instead of executing the dark Bendu, they will banish them from Jedha.

In the several months which follow, a sleeper ship is constructed in orbit over Jedha. The knowledge of hyperdrive construction lost a century ago, this ship will be incapable of hyperspatial flight. Its voyage will be made in realspace, at near-light velocity.

Ferried up to the waiting sleeper ship, the dark Bendu are escorted aboard, where they are placed in stasis caskets for the long voyage ahead. The navicomputer programmed to follow a route to the nearest star, the ship is then launched from its moorings. Sublights engaging, the sleeper ship leaves the Jedha system for the distant stars.

EXT. SPACE — SITH HOMEWORLD (MINDSCAPE)

NYKRES EIKHAN: (V.O.; cont’d) But they turned their exile to victory, on the far side of the Galaxy.

With the passage of four-thousand years — after the rebirth of the Galactic Republic and the rise of the Jedi Knights — the long-forgotten sleeper ship with its crew of sleeping exiles finally arrives in a system containing a habitable planet.

INT. SLEEPER SHIP (MINDSCAPE)

After launching probes and ascertaining the planet’s habitability, the ship’s AI disengages the stasis caskets. Reawakening, the Exiles climb out of the caskets and make their way to viewports and computer terminals, which afford them their first look at their new home.

EXT. SITH HOMEWORLD — VILLAGE — DAY (MINDSCAPE)

On the surface of this planet, we find a village. Inhabiting this village are TRUE SITH. Humanoids with simian features, the Sith also sport prominent eyebrow ridges, a pair of facial tentacles, and skin in various shades of red. These particular Sith happen to be primitive hunter-gatherers.

With a sonic BOOM, the Sith primitives’ attention is drawn towards the sky. There, in the taupe sky, dropships from the Exile sleeper ship streak across.

EXT. CLEARING — DAY (MINDSCAPE)

Disembarking from the dropships, the Exiles look around, getting their bearings.

In due time, a PARTY OF SITH come to greet the newcomers. At first apprehensive, the Exile soon realize the red-skinned aliens pose no threat to them and allow them into their presence. Approaching the Exiles, the Sith come bearing gifts.

NYKRES EIKHAN: (V.O.; cont’d) Here, on this unblemished world, the vanquished Bendu found a primitive civilization, a new people who worshipped them as gods — the Sith.

SITH HOMEWORLD — MONTAGE (MINDSCAPE)

In their dropships, the Exiles explore the planet. They come into contact with other Sith nations and tribes, all in various states of technological development. Not all of these are as friendly as the Sith the Exiles first met, but utilizing their awesome powers, the Exiles put them in their place.

EXT. SEPULCHRE OF THE GREAT OLD DEAD ONES — SUNSET (MINDSCAPE)

Following Sith legends, the Exiles learn of mysterious sites scattered across the globe. They visit one of these sites, locally known as the Sepulchre of the Great Old Dead Ones. A conglomeration of massive, half-buried edifaces, they are ancient, hundreds of thousands of years old. No Sith will venture onto these grounds, believing them to be tombs containing the dormant spirits of evil gods which once dominated the world. But the Exiles are not afraid; they sense power here.

INT. G.O.D.O CITADEL — SUNSET (MINDSCAPE)

Penetrating one of the Sepulchre’s buildings, the Bendu find a treasure trove of technology within — technology predating the Ancient Republic, but far advanced of anything the best scientific minds of the Republic ever devised.

NYKRES EIKHAN: (V.O.) With unlimited resources and willing slaves, the Bendu exiles forged the Sith civilization into a new empire.

SITH EMPIRE — MONTAGE (MINDSCAPE)

NYKRES EIKHAN: (V.O.) The Sith became many.

Using their dark side alchemy, the Exiles modify the Sith into three distinct subspecies: Kissai — gracile, red-skinned priests; Massassi — muscular, green-skinned warriors; Zuguruk — stocky, charcoal-skinned engineers/workers.

NYKRES EIKHAN: (V.O.; cont’d) Conversely, the Exiles became one …

Turning their alchemy upon themselves, the mostly Human Exiles enable themselves to interbreed with their non-Human members. In time they give rise to a new, monolithic, quasi-Human species with pale gray skin and blue-gray hair.

NYKRES EIKHAN: (V.O.; cont’d) Lettow — the Sith Lords.

Building a fleet of advanced starships, the Lettow use them in establishing offworld colonies. These colonies grow to number in the dozens, then the hundreds. The Sith Empire is born.

Eventually, the Lettow relocate their base of operations to Ziost — a frozen world of perpetual night. In the council chambers of their Great Citadel, ELEVEN LETTOW convene. One stands at the centre of the room, surrounded by the others, who kneel in a ring around him, hands planted on the hilts of their swords in obeisance.

NYKRES EIKHAN: (V.O.) The Sith Empire would be governed by a council of Lettow which, in turn, would be governed by a single appointed Dark Lord or Lady of the Sith.


Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

It’s been over a year since I began writing A Lost Hope. In that time, I haven’t made much progress. Given five years, I might actually finish it, but I don’t want to spend five years working on the script; I want to complete my PT rewrite within a reasonable period of time and finally concentrate on other projects. I haven’t worked with any collaborators before, but right here and now, I’d like to change that.

ALH has a beginning, and the ending’s clear in my mind, but the middle has me stymied; I have separate plot threads worked out, but I’m at an impasse at how to weave them into a cohesive narrative. What I really need is a detailed outline, but I suck at outlines. Would anyone be interested in writing that outline for me, or at least co-writing it with me? I’d really appreciate the help.

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.