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If feels like Star Wars has always been a part of my consciousness. I can’t remember the first time I saw it, and I can’t remember if I already knew that spoiler was Luke’s father, or if I got to experience that twist properly. In fact, I was so young when I fell in love with Star Wars, I didn’t even completely understand the concept of movies. The notion that regular people got dressed up and read lines off a script hadn’t formed in my head yet. As far as I was concerned, a film crew went to Tatooine and shot the movie, then came back and here it was. For all I knew, Star Wars was a documentary.
The first film in the series that I saw was Phantom Menace and, like I assume many of you did as well, I loved it at the time. I thought Anakin was cool and Jar Jar was funny. I even remember laughing out loud the first time I saw Ben and Vader’s duel at the end of New Hope. I have a drastically different perspective on the series now, of course, but the sound effects and the aesthetic still give me flash backs when I scroll past Phantom Menace on TV.
It was watching the behind-the-scenes features on the dvd though, that really shattered my world. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Mace Windu was just some guy? Qui-Gon Jinn was just a dude playing dress up? It’s all fake? Remember, this wasn’t when I was 15. I must have been around 4. Memories warp with time, and I can’t remember if it was something I honestly believed, or something I wanted to be true so badly I ignored the common sense in the back of my mind telling me I was wrong. But I vividly remember a strong feeling of disappointment when one day I decided to to hit “bonus features” instead of “play movie”.
I hope I’m lucky enough to get a myspleen invite one day so I can put the Despecialized Editions on Blu-ray. I have two Nieces, three and five, and I want them to get the proper experience. But I’m not sure if I want to wait to show them when they’re old enough to appreciate it, or if I should show them as early as possible. Empire I’ll probably hold off on, so they don’t see I Am Your Father until they’re old enough to know what it means. But New Hope at least, I kind of want to become part of their subconscious. Even if they’ll never remember their first time watching it, I kind of want them to know what Star Wars is before they know what movies are, so maybe they can get that same moment realization and say “wait a second, this isn’t real”?
