More Revenge coming soon. We'll finally be off of Raxus Prime within a few posts. I'm thinking of titling Episode VIII The Dark Times Begin, meant to invoke one of Obi-Wan's lines in ANH.
I hope I didn't offend any die-hard Keshiri EU fans with my last story post...:P
Jeni sees some of herself in the warrior. She asks him why he chose Raxus Prime for his initiation duty, a world so far away from his home. He tells her that he wanted to get away from Kesh and see the galaxy at large, Raxus Prime being only the most recent stop on his journey between many worlds. No other aspiring Keshiri warrior has ever gone so far away from the homeworld.
When the New Republic made first contact with Kesh in 6 ABY, the natives were hesitant to join the galactic community. They had already built a small pocket empire in what Republic astrogators call “Wild Space”. The Republic sent an ambassador by the name of Leia to make peace with the Keshiri. Amnar, still a small boy at the time, was captivated by Leia’s tales of adventurers traversing the galaxy and of mystics wielding “the Force”. The last known Force-user on Kesh died centuries ago. Amnar resolved to see a thousand worlds before his dying day.
He says that perhaps it is the will of the Force that he has been brought to aid in the quest of Leia’s daughter. Jeni smiles. She agrees that it is indeed fortuitous that the two of them are now companions.
Amnar asks Jeni about her quest. Though he is no Jedi sage, he has enough knowledge of the Order to know that Jeni’s personal mission is at odds with their ethos. He asks her how she justifies her quest.
Jeni is at first silent and contemplative about his question. Amnar has by this time finished his work on Jeni’s wounds. She gets up to peer out of the netted balcony towards the busy streets below. The winds of Raxus Prime blow through her long locks of jet black hair.
Jeni turns back around to face the Keshiri. She describes how she reconciles her actions with the beliefs of the Jedi. She says that she is simply doing what the Jedi were meant to do in the first place, guard peace and justice throughout the galaxy.
Amnar plays the devil’s advocate. He knows that she is going after the Striders out of personal vengeance rather than high-minded ideals of justice.
Jeni then puts into words what she has started to believe recently: that the Jedi way might not be the right way. She finds it difficult to say, knowing full well the Dark Side connotations of such a statement. But somewhere within, she contemplates why the wielders of the Force have to be strictly divided into two contrasting moral camps.
Ever since Jeni started thinking these thoughts, she has called into question her own allegiance to the Order. With the revelation of Han’s fate, she openly doubts if Master Luke and Leia are the true authorities on matters relating to the Force.
Perhaps there is a third way. Something beyond the Jedi and the Sith.
Note: Amnar does not literally use the term "6 ABY". I wrote that in for the reader's sake, since most of us on this forum are familiar with the BBY/ABY system of dates in Star Wars canon.
What do you guys think of the whole "third way" business? It's based on one of the very few things I liked about the prequels: Qui-Gon's unorthodox, anti-authority stance on being a Jedi. I'm thinking of making this philosophy the linchpin of Jeni's character and worldview.
Jeni asks Amnar how long his obligation towards his clan elders bounds him to her mission. He tells her that it ends when Jeni accomplishes her ultimate objective: the elimination of Hossk. But in their short time together, Amnar has gained a deeper level of sympathy for her cause. It is no longer just his warrior quest that keeps him with the Jedi, but also a burgeoning personal attachment.
I think that the Jedi Code, as it is understood from the OT, is unworkable in the long run. "A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack." That has been demonstrably shown not to have worked out for Luke when he faced the Emperor. It is kind of like King Arthur's Grail quest; all of his best knights achieve the grail and are taken up to heaven, while his worst knights remain on Earth. Any Jedi Order would probably have the same fate.
I agree that for the Jedi path to work, it would need to change. Just not in the way that Jeni intends.
You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)
There's also something else to consider, that Jeni is still forming as a person. She's only sixteen years old. She is in a transitive stage between a child and a full-grown adult, so she is not entirely sure what she wants or who she is yet. This scene is our first indication of Jeni's thoughts about what it means to be a Jedi, her place in the galaxy, how she sees the Force, etc. It might seem heretical to go against the simplistic black-and-white, Jedi vs. Dark Side dynamic of the OT, but I had to give Jeni a distinct emotional and philosophical journey to undertake, not a simple rehash of Luke's path. *
Jeni is ultimately good. She is no Sith. But she struggles with how to express herself in the Force, when the established lineage and rites of the Jedi seem too restricting. She is more of a wild spirit than Luke ever was. In that sense, Jeni truly is her father's daughter.
*Although his arc was completed in Return of the Jedi, Luke still has a role to play in this trilogy. It is superficially similar to Obi-Wan and Yoda's mentor-like roles in the OT, but with some differences that will become apparent later on.
Jeni decides that before leaving for Verdanth to close in on Hossk, she must return the sack of crystals to Isis. She calls Zero from across Amnar’s dwelling, where the droid was busy scanning objects out of what could be described as curiosity. Zero beeps his assent as he accompanies Amnar and Jeni out of the building into the streets of Raxus Prime.
Cut to the spaceport. Amnar and Jeni split ways outside the landing pad zone after she tells him the coordinates of her destination. Amnar goes to his ship with the intention of following Jeni’s. His vessel is a modified R-41 Starchaser with a pair of concussion missile launchers bolted onto the wings to bolster its already substantial combat capabilities. It packs a heftier punch than Jeni’s craft, a Kashyyyk-produced “Agr” fighter. Her ship, however, bears nigh-unbeatable maneuverability, only further amplified by the Force-sensitivity of its pilot.
Jeni has made all the necessary flight checks and docked Zero into her craft when she sees that her navcomputer has received new holo-messages. She opens the first recording. A tiny hologram of Luke tells her to come home to Corellia because they “need to talk”.
Jeni purses her lips in disgruntlement. Then she views the next recording. In it Luke says that he has felt a tremor in the Force and implores Jeni to return to Corellia immediately.
With reluctance, Jeni messages Amnar on her commlink. She says they will have to make a stop at Corellia before continuing on their mission.
The two fighters lift off from the spaceport and break atmosphere. The persistent soot and haze of the junkyard world gives way to the tranquil void of space. Inside of a minute, their distance from the planet’s gravity well allows Jeni and Amnar to jump into hyperspace, putting Raxus Prime behind them for good.
I'm thinking of making Jeni's Agr fighter a hobby project started by Chewbacca. Years after his death, Jeni received the fighter as an inheritance, since Chewie was like a godfather to Jeni. Maybe Chewie was into racing and spent his free time tinkering on a custom fighter to maximize its thrust and maneuverability...
Not an important plot detail, but a little bit of background flavor to flesh out the setting.
Now that we're finally off of Raxus Prime, I would say we are about halfway through the film. Let me know what you guys think so far!
More Revenge coming soon.
Echoing others who have commented, I really like how you've taken ownership of the material.
NeverarGreat said:
Thanks!
I've got a question for a fellow writer:
Which do you find more difficult to write, a prequel story or a sequel story?
I ask this because it seems to me that prequels fly in the face of one of the most integral writing styles used by most writers, that of letting the story gain a life of its own, and go in unexpected directions. It seems that as the prequels would be seen by many people before the originals, the prequels must therefore be smaller in scope than the originals, and have a collapsed sense of awareness about them. This has been very difficult perspective for me to write from, as I must unlearn what I have learned (including that line!), if only to look at everything anew.
Do you find this to be true?
Nerverar really hits the nail on the head with this question. Making a PT that is constrained within the scope of the OT and yet surprising, engaging and important as its own story is really hard. I've really only recently come around to realizing how much more it needs to be than an explanation of the OT. I think there is sympathy to be had for GL on that front. Half of his PT was to provide unnecessary background for the OT and the other half was a superfluous original story. Thus it never felt sufficiently important in any way.
I do wonder, McFlabbergasty if there is one great challenge in each episode (eg the Death Star) or if at least the first episode is more akin to Empire in that the hero must come face-to-face with her destiny? I know I have an ongoing concern in my own PT struggles with the story feeling grand enough.
McFlabbergasty said:
What do you guys think of the whole "third way" business? It's based on one of the very few things I liked about the prequels: Qui-Gon's unorthodox, anti-authority stance on being a Jedi. I'm thinking of making this philosophy the linchpin of Jeni's character and worldview.
Also something I'm thinking about. So far I think it doesn't work to have a third way/grey Jedi (I'm assuming they are the same idea?). I think of Yoda's words: Once you start down the Dark Path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Or I think about the description of the Dark Side as being quicker and easier, that it is based in hate and anger. All in all, it's a slippery slope and no self-respecting person with a sense of the Force should go in that direction. I don't think it makes much sense to be Jedi-ish.
I do think the third way business resonates nowadays because many aspects of our society have moved toward a more relativistic philosophy. And yes, also, it makes for a dynamic story, it's a twist.
I also agree that Qui-Gon was interesting for not being dogmatic. But to my eye, that need not qualify as a third way. There were also clear differences between Obi-Wan and Yoda. And Luke was also his own man, choosing faith in and commitment to his friends, while Yoda and Obi-Wan would have had him act in commitment to a 'greater' goal. I like the idea that being a Jedi does have a fundamental meaning, but that doesn't mean individual Jedi are all the same.
I think showing the human struggle in the context of being a Jedi makes for an interesting story, without having to reject being a Jedi in some fashion. I think it means exploring the real foundational elements of Jediism, not reducing being a Jedi to being religiously orthodox. I think the question is what makes for a positive connection to the Force vs a negative one?
I'm enjoying your work and it's spurring good discussion!
The blue elephant in the room.
Meanwhile on Verdanth, Tyrhevius surveys a holographic map of the local star cluster. It is projected from a pedestal in the center of his private quarters, a room located in the heart of the Talon Striders’ base of operations. Sporadically-placed glow lamps illuminate various weapons, both blasters and blades alike, as well as mementos wrenched from the dying forms of his previous victims.
As he turns a globe in the palm of his hand, his door lets out a two-tone beep. Tyrhevius waves an idle gesture. The door slides open. A Gran underling enters the gloomily-lit room.
The servant tells Tyrhevius that their eyes and ears on Raxus Prime have sent back word of Dagman’s demise. The human Strider demands more details of the incident. The Gran proffers a vid-slate to his master showing the merchant’s body in an alley, one arm missing. Tyrhevius deduces from the clean, cauterized state of the wound that the assailant used a lightsaber. He knows this from his days as a mercenary under the late Darth Vader.
I'm delightfully surprised that my work has inspired this kind of discussion, Mrebo. :)
More Revenge coming soon!
The dearth of recent posts is due to the start of a new academic semester...
He returns the slate to his underling, remarking that he always felt that there was something shifty about Dagman. The mercenary grabs a sidearm on his bed as he leaves his quarters. He has to inform master Hossk of this new development at once.
Cut to a heavily forested area outside the Talon Strider base. Tyrhevius is walking under a canopy of veshok trees, the sturdy trunks terminating in olive clouds overhead. He holds his blaster at the ready.
Han Solo is alive in Disney's Episode VII? I call heresy.
I'll post in this story outline next whenever-I-feel-like-it-because-I-am-being-swamped-by-classes.
He lives!
Classes are the important bit. This sub-forum can wait.
(As in it hasn't been updated in a month)
Happy studying!
You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)
I now present the shortest update ever...
Tyrhevius
This has been the shortest update ever. More to come soon.
I just found an absolutely gorgeous piece of fan art that, by chance, matches up exactly to what I have in mind for Episode 7. This would appear to be taken from the moment where Jeni first meets Amnar at the ruins of the Millenium Falcon on Raxus Prime.
I think it's meant to be buried on Tatooine, but other than that, it does look relevant. I think many people imagine what the Falcon would look like in thirty years. I imagined that it would be a gutted wreck on some sort of jungle planet.
You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)