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If George Had Made The Sequel Trilogy... — Page 5

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It wasn’t the first time Han was laying it on thick for a potential customer. And it could have made it into some written or oral history of the Rebellion. Bad journalism isn’t unique to our galaxy.

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Where were you in '77?

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Well, it is my inference, but there’s a reason that Ben gives Han that ‘oh really’ look, right after the parsecs line. As far as I’m concerned, Han was just using technical lingo to try and fast talk them into paying him his price for the ride.

Army of Darkness: The Medieval Deadit | The Terminator - Color Regrade | The Wrong Trousers - Audio Preservation
SONIC RACES THROUGH THE GREEN FIELDS.
THE SUN RACES THROUGH A BLUE SKY FILLED WITH WHITE CLOUDS.
THE WAYS OF HIS HEART ARE MUCH LIKE THE SUN. SONIC RUNS AND RESTS; THE SUN RISES AND SETS.
DON’T GIVE UP ON THE SUN. DON’T MAKE THE SUN LAUGH AT YOU.

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Ben has been around the galaxy. Luke being young and inexperienced might have believed such claims.

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Where were you in '77?

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Well seeing as how the Falcon was able to not be captured by the Star Destroyers everything he said was true to some extent. From my point of view Han was just laying facts in a confident manor.

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 (Edited)

Lord Haseo said:

Dek Rollins said:
and the ‘14 parsecs’ line bothered me a lot.

I think we can all agree on that one. It was definitely the most shoehorned in reference to STAR WARS.

Completely disagree. One of my favorites lines. You get the impression in SW that almost every time Han talks about the Falcon he mentions 12 parsecs (though we only see it once). It’s the ship’s claim to fame. Makes total sense that Rey would mention the Kessel Run upon learning it’s the Falcon.

Of course, what really makes it is the 14 joke. Not just because it makes the exchange funny beyond “hey I remember that line,” but because it makes the galaxy feel real. Of course someone a thousand planets away would hear an inaccurate description of the Falcon. It makes sense. If she had said 12 I almost would have agreed that the line was unnecessary.

As for the whole “he was making shit up”/“parsec is a unit of distance” I say bullshit. I don’t care what parsec means in the real world. This is a fantasy film. Han said it as a legit stat (if parsec is a unit of distance in this galaxy, Han would know that. Yeah technobabble whatever but he would also know units of time, which presumably is something non-pilots know too, so his claim would be more impressive if he said something they could understand. Consider this, if I said my car can drive 200mph vs. my car can drive 200 flip florps, which is more impressive?). The other thing I loved about the 14 parsecs line the first time I saw it was it’s doubling down on the inaccuracy in a fun way. Basically “yeah, who cares. It’s still a part of Star Wars.”

The other reference line that people get unnecessarily worked up about is the trash compactor? Honestly WHY? Last time Han was on planet-destroying super-station he spent a good amount of time in a trash compactor (and not a comfortable way to pass the time either). Plus, Han’s a jokester. That’s what he does. If he suggests Phasma should go in the garbage chute, OBVIOUSLY he would then think of a trash compactor. It would have been out of character and a huge missed opportunity if he didn’t.

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DominicCobb said:

Consider this, if I said my car can drive 200mph vs. my car can drive 200 flip florps, which is more impressive?)

That comparison makes absolutely no sense.

Army of Darkness: The Medieval Deadit | The Terminator - Color Regrade | The Wrong Trousers - Audio Preservation
SONIC RACES THROUGH THE GREEN FIELDS.
THE SUN RACES THROUGH A BLUE SKY FILLED WITH WHITE CLOUDS.
THE WAYS OF HIS HEART ARE MUCH LIKE THE SUN. SONIC RUNS AND RESTS; THE SUN RISES AND SETS.
DON’T GIVE UP ON THE SUN. DON’T MAKE THE SUN LAUGH AT YOU.

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 (Edited)

Dek Rollins said:

DominicCobb said:

Consider this, if I said my car can drive 200mph vs. my car can drive 200 flip florps, which is more impressive?)

That comparison makes absolutely no sense.

Exactly! If Han is saying “parsec” incorrectly as a bit of technobabble, then he must assume Luke and Ben don’t know what parsec means. So he might as well be saying flip florps, when he could instead be saying minutes or hours, which would make much more sense and therefore be a lot more impressive.

I just don’t get why he would just be making that up. “Made the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs.” If he told me that and it was just some random bullshit I would think “yeah okay, that means nothing to me.” If the Kessel Run is an actual thing and parsecs in this universe actually relate to time, and I heard that stat, I’d be like “okay, wow, maybe this is a fast ship.”

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I’m not sure if I should be impressed or disappointed that nobody feels compelled to bring up George’s “I totally planned this and didn’t just pull this explanation out of my ass to cover up my mistake” explanation: that, yeah, he totally knows parsec is a measure of distance, but that’s the freaking point! Because it means that Han Solo is really good at navigating and stuff and can compute a shorter route. Even though that really shouldn’t have anything to do with the Falcon at all, right…?

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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DominicCobb said:

Dek Rollins said:

DominicCobb said:

Consider this, if I said my car can drive 200mph vs. my car can drive 200 flip florps, which is more impressive?)

That comparison makes absolutely no sense.

Exactly!

No, that’s not what I meant. I wasn’t saying that mph vs. flip florps made no sense (it doesn’t, but that’s beside the point), I was saying that comparing Han’s hypothetical use of technobabble to your flip florp situation doesn’t make sense.

Army of Darkness: The Medieval Deadit | The Terminator - Color Regrade | The Wrong Trousers - Audio Preservation
SONIC RACES THROUGH THE GREEN FIELDS.
THE SUN RACES THROUGH A BLUE SKY FILLED WITH WHITE CLOUDS.
THE WAYS OF HIS HEART ARE MUCH LIKE THE SUN. SONIC RUNS AND RESTS; THE SUN RISES AND SETS.
DON’T GIVE UP ON THE SUN. DON’T MAKE THE SUN LAUGH AT YOU.

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There would have been little to no location shooting.
The script would have been way worse dialog wise.
Shot on Digital.
Hayden would have played a huge role and other poorly received PT elements would have been shoved in as a slap in the face.

It seems like people are really embracing the new characters. In fact, the big question people ask me now about Star Wars is, “Are Finn and Poe gay lovers?” And really how the f*ck would I know? My second husband left me for a man, so my gaydar isn’t exactly what you’d call Death Star level quality. ----Carrie Fisher

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 (Edited)

Han seemed pretty shocked that Ben Kenobi hadn’t heard of the Falcon. I have no problem with it being a legend amongst smugglers.

The Person in Question

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moviefreakedmind said:

Han seemed pretty shocked that Ben Kenobi hadn’t heard of the Falcon. I have no problem with it being a legend amongst smugglers.

While I agree I have no problem with the Falcon being famous, to be fair, feigned surprise could have been part of his sales pitch or ego.

TV’s Frink said:

I would put this in my sig if I weren’t so lazy.

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CHEWBAKAspelledwrong said:

moviefreakedmind said:

Han seemed pretty shocked that Ben Kenobi hadn’t heard of the Falcon. I have no problem with it being a legend amongst smugglers.

While I agree I have no problem with the Falcon being famous, to be fair, feigned surprise could have been part of his sales pitch or ego.

I suppose, but it had made it around the universe too. It used to be owned by Lando, and who knows who before him.

The Person in Question

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Yes, Han was referred to as General Solo in ROTJ. If the war continued for another year that likely was not his only action as General and he would have become quite famous for that. It is not surprising that Finn, as a stormtrooper, would be aware of his Rebel Alliance history.

Just as it isn’t surprising, considering the sort of people she lives around, that Rey would know of his smuggling fame.

As for the “Kessel run in 12 parsecs” line from ANH, it makes a lot of sense when you consider other dialog in ANH. A powerful and fast ship could get closer to large gravitational bodies and shorten the distance of a run through a tight hyperspace route. Stars and planets are navigational hazards in hyperspace so being able to get closer to them might give access to a better route that would shorten the distance. On the surface it seems silly if you know that a parsec is a unit of distance, but it isn’t that ridiculous when you consider that 1920’s road construction led to longer distances than modern roads. Many roads have been realigned over the years to provide shorter distances through uneven terrain. I think Han’s explanation to Luke about Hyperspace really explains why a distance for the Kessel run means the Millennium Falcon is a fast ship. I liked the joke about 14 instead of 12 for Han’s record.

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yotsuya said:
As for the “Kessel run in 12 parsecs” line from ANH, it makes a lot of sense when you consider other dialog in ANH. A powerful and fast ship could get closer to large gravitational bodies and shorten the distance of a run through a tight hyperspace route. Stars and planets are navigational hazards in hyperspace so being able to get closer to them might give access to a better route that would shorten the distance. On the surface it seems silly if you know that a parsec is a unit of distance, but it isn’t that ridiculous when you consider that 1920’s road construction led to longer distances than modern roads. Many roads have been realigned over the years to provide shorter distances through uneven terrain. I think Han’s explanation to Luke about Hyperspace really explains why a distance for the Kessel run means the Millennium Falcon is a fast ship. I liked the joke about 14 instead of 12 for Han’s record.

Lucas isn’t that smart

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HansiG said:

Lucas isn’t that smart

Well, for what it’s worth, that is almost verbatim the explanation that Lucas gives in the DVD commentary track.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Gaffer Tape said:

HansiG said:

Lucas isn’t that smart

Well, for what it’s worth, that is almost verbatim the explanation that Lucas gives in the DVD commentary track.

He was probably thinking for 30 years about explaining that mistake in a way that makes him sound clever.

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TV’s Frink said:

“That’s not how X works” has made it into my everyday conversations, and will feature heavily in the ROT.

Considering Han Solo was never trained as a Jedi (and neither was Leia), how exactly does he know how the Force does or does not work?

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doubleofive said:

The Falcon is in the prequels (twice?). It’s been around.

I must have missed it. Do you have photographic evidence?

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Scott109 said:

TV’s Frink said:

“That’s not how X works” has made it into my everyday conversations, and will feature heavily in the ROT.

Considering Han Solo was never trained as a Jedi (and neither was Leia), how exactly does he know how the Force does or does not work?

Because he knows he can’t use it due to the fact he isn’t trained and neither is Fin?

TV’s Frink said:

I would put this in my sig if I weren’t so lazy.

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Dek Rollins said:

Well, it is my inference, but there’s a reason that Ben gives Han that ‘oh really’ look, right after the parsecs line. As far as I’m concerned, Han was just using technical lingo to try and fast talk them into paying him his price for the ride.

That was the impression I got as well while watching A New Hope. I thought that Han was just bullshitting Obi-Wan and Luke. Sadly The Force Awakens eliminated that possibility.

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Scott109 said:

doubleofive said:

The Falcon is in the prequels (twice?). It’s been around.

I must have missed it. Do you have photographic evidence?


It’s been said the Falcon is the ship seen in ROTS, (bottom pic) but as there are three such freighters seen in AOTC, they may just be similar ships.

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Where were you in '77?

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imperialscum said:

moviefreakedmind said:

Looks like someone from Young Indy helped write AOTC, but judging by the dialogue I suspect that most of it came from Lucas.

Since AOTC has worse dialogue than TPM and ROTS, the assumption could be opposite.

Attack of the Clones has the most cliché dialogue of any movie in the Star Wars saga, but the dialogue in The Phantom Menace is even worse. Jar Jar Binks is in almost every scene, the gungans speak in broken English, the battle droids repeatedly say, “Roger, Roger,” the Neimodians speak in poor imitations of Asian accents, the characters constantly mention treaties, and the nine-year-old Anakin asks Padmé, “Are you an angel?”

So the dialogue in Attack of the Clones is still better than The Phantom Menace.

I will admit that other than a few failed attempts at comic relief, the dialogue in The Force Awakens was actually surpisingly good.