If you need to B*tch about something... this is the place — Page 125

I feel like I'm developing personal problems of an alcohol/drug related nature.  It hasn't caused any problems of a "concrete" nature, like no job loss or anything like that.  And I don't do any hard drugs and I don't get shitfaced drunk.  But I'm always drinking and I always have a joint or something similar going except when I'm actually at work.  And while the weed itself might not be all that horrible for me, I feel like the frequency of consumption is damaging me mentally.  And the same with drinking.  I'm never "drunk" but I'm always buzzed.  Every day, the MOMENT I wake up, which is a nightmare in and of itself (not necessarily hung over, just totally windblown and lifeless feeling), the moment I open my eyes and get out of bed I immediately smoke some weed, and I mean immediately.  Then I drink a couple beers then smoke some more.  I go about my day, and literally only an hour or so later I'll be smoking again.  Whenever I go in to work, I smoke and have a beer right before I go in.  On my 15 minute break I smoke.  On my lunch break I smoke and drink some more.  On my last 15 minute, you guessed it, I smoke.  Then guess what I do after work?  Drink and smoke.  And record music and play guitar, which is positive enough but I am ALWAYS shitfaced when I'm doing it.  I'm never coherent when I'm recording.  I only drink 2 or 3 beers at a time, but I drink those 2 or 3 beers very constantly and every few hours or so.  And I smoke weed constantly all day and am very stoned at all times, until I go to sleep. And I often wake in the middle of the night and smoke a little bit to go back to sleep.  Mentally it's wearing me out, and I'm becoming very depressed and introverted.  Physically I feel like I'm just running out of steam, out of energy.  I don't feel tired exactly, just sortof rundown.  I still care very much about other people's wellbeing and my friends, the problem is I'm getting to where I don't care at all about myself, only others.

I don't really know why I'm sharing this with you guys, I just wanted to vent a little bit.  I'm not really sure what to do about it.  Can you call a guy who never gets drunk bit is ALWAYS buzzed an alcoholic?  Can you call a guy who never does drugs but is never NOT smoking weed a drug addict?  I don't know the answers to that, but I can tell you this lifestyle is wearing me out and I'm losing steam.  

Just venting.  I know there isn't anything anyone here can say or do to help, so feel free to ignore it and bitch about something else.  :P

Possessed said:

I feel like I'm developing personal problems of an alcohol/drug related nature.  It hasn't caused any problems of a "concrete" nature, like no job loss or anything like that.  And I don't do any hard drugs and I don't get shitfaced drunk.  But I'm always drinking and I always have a joint or something similar going except when I'm actually at work.  And while the weed itself might not be all that horrible for me, I feel like the frequency of consumption is damaging me mentally.  And the same with drinking.  I'm never "drunk" but I'm always buzzed.  Every day, the MOMENT I wake up, which is a nightmare in and of itself (not necessarily hung over, just totally windblown and lifeless feeling), the moment I open my eyes and get out of bed I immediately smoke some weed, and I mean immediately.  Then I drink a couple beers then smoke some more.  I go about my day, and literally only an hour or so later I'll be smoking again.  Whenever I go in to work, I smoke and have a beer right before I go in.  On my 15 minute break I smoke.  On my lunch break I smoke and drink some more.  On my last 15 minute, you guessed it, I smoke.  Then guess what I do after work?  Drink and smoke.  And record music and play guitar, which is positive enough but I am ALWAYS shitfaced when I'm doing it.  I'm never coherent when I'm recording.  I only drink 2 or 3 beers at a time, but I drink those 2 or 3 beers very constantly and every few hours or so.  And I smoke weed constantly all day and am very stoned at all times, until I go to sleep. And I often wake in the middle of the night and smoke a little bit to go back to sleep.  Mentally it's wearing me out, and I'm becoming very depressed and introverted.  Physically I feel like I'm just running out of steam, out of energy.  I don't feel tired exactly, just sortof rundown.  I still care very much about other people's wellbeing and my friends, the problem is I'm getting to where I don't care at all about myself, only others.

I don't really know why I'm sharing this with you guys, I just wanted to vent a little bit.  I'm not really sure what to do about it.  Can you call a guy who never gets drunk bit is ALWAYS buzzed an alcoholic?  Can you call a guy who never does drugs but is never NOT smoking weed a drug addict?  I don't know the answers to that, but I can tell you this lifestyle is wearing me out and I'm losing steam.  

Just venting.  I know there isn't anything anyone here can say or do to help, so feel free to ignore it and bitch about something else.  :P

 Ouch. 

I went through something like this with sleeping pills for a few months before I tried to kill myself, all I can say is do what I wish I had done, get help and get this stuff out of your house.  Break free of this before it does become a big problem.

I'll be praying for you.

Well I doubt they are really aware of it, like I said I don't get "Drunk", I just have one or two and it really doesn't affect my performance at all.

I really don't see how having 1 or 2 beers would be that noticeable?  Maybe combined with the weed it could be, but I've been going this way for years and it's just how I am, at this point it's just the normal.  They've probably never seen me sober.  Plus I work in customer service so if it was known I would be fired instantly because I talk to customers all the time and they wouldn't let somebody they believed was intoxicated do this.

One of my best friend's older sister has been in a coma for days from smoking K2 or something similar.  That stuff is awful and needs to be gone. 

That's all I would like to bitch about today.

It is now.

If it isn't, then you can bitch about that.

If you need to create a new thread, you really need to consult The New Thread Thread first.

Watch your mouth kid or you're gonna find yourself floating home.

Possessed said:

I feel like I'm developing personal problems of an alcohol/drug related nature.  It hasn't caused any problems of a "concrete" nature, like no job loss or anything like that.  And I don't do any hard drugs and I don't get shitfaced drunk.  But I'm always drinking and I always have a joint or something similar going except when I'm actually at work.  And while the weed itself might not be all that horrible for me, I feel like the frequency of consumption is damaging me mentally.  And the same with drinking.  I'm never "drunk" but I'm always buzzed.  Every day, the MOMENT I wake up, which is a nightmare in and of itself (not necessarily hung over, just totally windblown and lifeless feeling), the moment I open my eyes and get out of bed I immediately smoke some weed, and I mean immediately.  Then I drink a couple beers then smoke some more.  I go about my day, and literally only an hour or so later I'll be smoking again.  Whenever I go in to work, I smoke and have a beer right before I go in.  On my 15 minute break I smoke.  On my lunch break I smoke and drink some more.  On my last 15 minute, you guessed it, I smoke.  Then guess what I do after work?  Drink and smoke.  And record music and play guitar, which is positive enough but I am ALWAYS shitfaced when I'm doing it.  I'm never coherent when I'm recording.  I only drink 2 or 3 beers at a time, but I drink those 2 or 3 beers very constantly and every few hours or so.  And I smoke weed constantly all day and am very stoned at all times, until I go to sleep. And I often wake in the middle of the night and smoke a little bit to go back to sleep.  Mentally it's wearing me out, and I'm becoming very depressed and introverted.  Physically I feel like I'm just running out of steam, out of energy.  I don't feel tired exactly, just sortof rundown.  I still care very much about other people's wellbeing and my friends, the problem is I'm getting to where I don't care at all about myself, only others.

I don't really know why I'm sharing this with you guys, I just wanted to vent a little bit.  I'm not really sure what to do about it.  Can you call a guy who never gets drunk bit is ALWAYS buzzed an alcoholic?  Can you call a guy who never does drugs but is never NOT smoking weed a drug addict?  I don't know the answers to that, but I can tell you this lifestyle is wearing me out and I'm losing steam.  

Just venting.  I know there isn't anything anyone here can say or do to help, so feel free to ignore it and bitch about something else.  :P

 how the heck are you able to drink and smoke weed right before work and during lunch break?   I would think most places would fire you for that.

Well it's not like I tell them?  And because I've been smoking weed habitually since I was 15 so it's just how I feel normal.  Honestly nobody at work has ever seen me not stoned so it's just how it is.  When you smoke weed for that long you don't act like how people you see on tv and in movies act when their characters are high, it really isn't very controlling of your behavior.  For me smoking weed changes the way I feel, not the way I act.  And I only have 1 or 2 drinks, which also does minimal changes to the way I act.

They don't know about it at work or I would be fired.  Basically I've been high nonstop since I was 15, and you don't get away with it for that long unless you're good at hiding it.  Not a lifestyle I would recommend to anybody, but it has it's pluses and minuses.  But really, being noticed for being high is not even something I worry about at all at this point, it's just part of me and I would probably stick out more if I wasn't high.

Warbler said:

how the heck are you able to drink and smoke weed right before work and during lunch break?   I would think most places would fire you for that.

 Who drinks weed?

Actually, people do.

Weird. And LOL at that red text. :D

Yeah it reminds me of the intro to south park episodes hah.

Ryan McAvoy said:

Leonardo said:

Or try spinning. That's a good trick.

Possessed said:

Watch your mouth kid or you're gonna find yourself floating home.

We should really have a thread where the conversation must only be composed of Star Wars quotes. "Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra" style ;-)

TV's Frink said:

If you need to create a new thread, you really need to consult The New Thread Thread first.

Back on topic, I've had the hiccups for over an hour, and I don't like them at all.  Not a single one of them.  Not a solitary hic has upped where I was like "hmm, that was quite pleasant."  Nope, every last one causes obscenities to drift through my brain.

UPDATE:  They're gone.  Guess I just needed to expose them for what they were.  Back to your drinks.

John Cusack once told me I'd first have to shave my eyebrows and paint my hair gold before I'd be qualified to sell spookhouse bullshit. Well, fuck him! Fuck him 1408 different ways!

Once per way, or multiple times a method?