Almost there!
Some thoughts: The "seventeen space hours earlier" caption could be in a Star Wars font, or at least a different color/font than the subtitles. Ditto the "Meanwhile" one.
The censored cockpit speaker gag is great, but the censor bar is appearing over a monitor screen. Move it over one of the metal knobs as they look more like speakers?
Artoo ought to say "No springs!" in response to Obi Wan's "Spring the trap." Obscure MST3K reference. ;)
If you cut to another exterior battle shot at 7:03, the abrupt change from hangar to corridor will be covered.
The battle droids in the elevator could say something?
A few off screen cries of agony from Palpatine as our heroes enter the Poetry Appreciation Chamber?
If you can cut from Yoda back to Ani about two seconds sooner, (if it doesn't mess up the timing of the music) it would transition a little better. The foreground part of set that comes into the shot almost looks like an incomplete wipe.
If Bob ever comes back, the elevator buttons could have an "out of order" sign taped on them?
The bridge scenes with Steve still need some sound effects in the background. (Star Trek bridge?) You can lose them as you get into the crash scene, which gets funnier every time I see it. :)