If you need to B*tch about something... this is the place — Page 56

Leonardo, I am very sorry to hear of your Grandmother's passing.   You have my sympathies.     I know what it is like to lose your Grandparents. 

About your "snapping" problem, have you considered speaking to a therapist?   

So, so very sorry to hear that Leonardo.  That's so sad.  You have to let that guilt go though, it's the only way to get better, and your grandparents knew you loved them and I'm sure they know you well enough to understand.

And as someone who has been in the place your in, for different reasons, of needing a job and being too sad/depressed to get one, make yourself go for it.  It will help so, so, so very much.  You will feel so much better about yourself and your mind will be off of what's bothering you, then when your off your relaxation time will be so much more meaningful and you will feel great about it.

Sorry if I come off as a know-it-all or something.  I obviously don't know completely what you are going through.  I just know I have felt the same way before, and wanted to share my experiences hoping that it would help you.

You'll be in our thoughts and for some of us prayers.  Best of luck and tidings to you.

Leonardo said:

Thanks for the thoughts, Warbler.
Therapy costs money, and if I had a job I wouldn't be as depressed as I am now.

Laziness is also a great part of the picture, and together with depression it forms a never-ending snake, eating its tail forever.

yeah, I have the same problems.   I know how you feel. 

Leonardo said:

The trouble with losing grandma isn't merely losing a loved one, for me. I was actually well prepared, since the old lady was 92 years old, and with a bad heart, which is what gave up at the end. No, what eats me from the inside is the guilt, in knowing I could have visited. It was only a five minute drive from my house to the old folk's home, but I seldom went there. It pained me to see her like that, and so I avoided going there on Sundays. My parents had been there last sunday, like they always did. Not me. I never got to say goodbye. And I never will.

It's a similar situation to what happened a few years ago, my other grandpa had suddenly gotten ill and had been taken to the hospital, and I distinctly remember having my last chance, to go in that hospital room and saying goodbye, and I didn't go in. I chickened out. I never got to say goodbye to him either.

These are two black marks I will carry inside me for the rest of my life. They will never go away.

on the day my Grandmother died, I got out of work with the plan of seeing her knowing that she was very near the end.   I stopped off and got a bite to eat at McDonalds.   By the time I got to the nursing home, she was dead.    If I hadn't stopped at McDonalds, I could have been with her when she passed.  I will always regret that stop at McDonalds.    I feel for you, Leonardo. 

My buttocks tense up in fury when I hear about our government's plans to "celebrate' the BEGINNING of World War 1.

I don't mind the money spent so much (who could legitimately complain if they were planning to commemorate the END of World War 1?) more the message it sends when we are cutting money elsewhere.

World War 1 is possibly the biggest crime in human civilisation.

The death count is possibly beyond measure as additional to the senseless deaths on the battlefield it was a major vector in the spread of the Spanish flu pandemic of 1918 and led to the loss of life and resources in The Great Depression, World War 2 and the Cold War.

Indeed much of the troubles we live with today stem can be traced back to World War 1.

Spending money while cutting aid to the elderly and the disabled on celebrating the beginning of all that pain is a miss step of almost comic (though it's far too distasteful)  proportions.

If you get a paper social security check now days it says "Federal Benefit".  WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.  It is NOT A FUCKING BENEFIT.  These people paid into it their entire lives, they are getting back a portion of what they paid into it, and the government has the damn nerve to say it's a benefit?  What a load of rubbish.  Just another way of saying "Yeah, we blew all our money AND yours... but here we scrounged this up for you"

Forcing myself to watch so many bad entries in the A Nightmare on Elm Street series over the past week has put me in a rather somber mood. It's no fun watching something that starts out so good turn to complete shit.

Ah, well, now that I've rewatched them, I'll never need to rewatch them again, and I can start trying to forget that parts 4, 5, 6, and Freddy vs. Jason even exist.

yeah, celebrate is the wrong word for it.   Perhaps commemorate?  memorialize? remember? recognize? observe? solemnize? mark? consecrate?  would be more fitting.  

Leonardo said:

So fucking depressed. I could write this in every page of my diary, if I kept one.

 Sorry to hear that man.  Wish I could help.

Leonardo said:

Not unless you could alter time, speed up the harvest, or teleport me off this rock. ;)

 You're a farmer!? You live on a rock!?

Is it just me, or was it really quiet in Off Topic today? Maybe all the action was in the threads I don't visit...

I must really have no life if I even noticed this. :-P

In the past, I noticed that activity on the forums seemed to die down over the weekends. I don't know if that's still the case anymore -- I don't spend as much time browsing the forums as I used to -- but that could be a reason why.

I guess that makes sense. I probably don't usually spend so much time here on the weekends either, which would explain why I haven't noticed.

My mum got us our Doctor Who calendar this year, normally my youngest niece honours us but weird family stuff abounds (I digress).

She got it in WHSmith and came home with a voucher offering a promotional box of nuts and crap.

As someone sometimes partial to nuts and crap and a big fan of free promotional items I thought I'd give this wheel a spin.

Well... you have to go to this website (graze.com/whsmith) and input the 'unique code' on the voucher to receive this generous free gift of a box of nuts and crap.

Only it's not a free gift because you have to sign up to get a box of nuts and crap every week which you have to pay for in order to get the free sample.

I thought the purpose of free samples was to find out if you liked the thing and maybe build up a bit of brand loyalty but apparently the rules have change while I wasn't looking.  In error my mum was given two of these vouchers and the 'unique code' is the same on both (WHGRZBOX).

In fact they hammer this truly rubbish attempt at manipulation home by having the same 'unique code' as the example of what kind of 'unique code' you should enter at the website prompt on the back of the same voucher with the same 'unique code' on it.

Honestly modern life is shit beyond words.

^Definately agree with you. I think Gobbie ended up looking more like Jack Nicholson than an evil Power Ranger in the movie, though ;-)

I'm convinced that mainstream rap music is created by white supremacists and self-loathing blacks who want to make the black race look as stupid and ugly as possible.