Bingowings said:
Edit the Holiday Special, The Ewok films and THX-1138 The Director's Cut together to make another prequel about how Lobot escaped from Coruscant to be with Lando for Life Day.
Genius!
<span style=“font-weight: bold;”>The Most Handsomest Guy on OT.com</span>
Evil genius if you please :-P
Frink should do it as a ridiculous spin off.
What Lucas did to THX is in some ways worse than what he did to star wars but even a smaller group of people give a shit.
The CGI monkees alone warrant giving the project the Katrina and the Waves treatment.
LUKE : That's right Artoo. She says she can lead the fleet to a shining blue planet which will make the ideal Rebel Base.
ARTOO : Bleeeep Blooop Blerrrp?
LUKE : I'm sure it's perfectly safe for Droids.
Dante and Randal work at an Ewok convenience store and an Ewok video store where they only have the Ewok Adventures and the Holiday Special in stock, and they pass the time selling cigarettes to that baby Ewok and talking about how the Rebels shouldn't destroy the second Death Star because of contractors working on it. As there is no contractor in the Ewok village to change their minds, the Ewoks decide not to side with the Rebels and instead decide to eat them.
Bunch of savages in this town.
You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)
"May the Midiclorians be with you."
That would have sucked.
ANH:SE;SE;SE:SE:SE2022.
The film starts as before with Tatooine filling up the bottom of the screen.
The Imperial Star Destroyer slowly progresses overhead to underline how powerful the Empire is and then comes Princess Leia's ship in pursuit.
These are meant to be the heroes right so why make out they're cowards running away from the big bully bad guys?
No!
They should charge at them, guns a blazing.
Replace Count Dooku
with Count von Count
chyron just put a big Ric pic in your sig and be done with it.
At the end of Empire strikes Back When the falcon departs the Medical frigate It's thrusters crack and shatter the glass and we see luke C3PO R2 and leia drift helplessly out into space.
Nooooooo
On a Rebel flagship somewhere near Sullust...
Mon Mothma : Many Bothans...died to bring us this information (pause for maximum emotional impact) Admiral Ackbar please...
Prune Face 1 : She sent Bothans on a dangerous mission?
Lando : Yeah I know.
Prune Face 2 : But they are unbearably cute, are the only people with the secret of making viagra and there are only 73 of them left in the galaxy.
Lando : Not anymore.
Butch Female Pilot : I've lost nothing out of this but I still hate that bitch.
The Frozen Wastes Of Hoth...
Luke Skywalker, having just escaped the Wampa's cave has collapsed unconscious and is near death.
BEN : Luke! Luuuke!
LUKE : Ben? Benn?
BEN : You will go to the Dagobah system!
LUKE : Dagobah system?
BEN : There you will learn from Yoda
LUKE : The Jedi Master who instructed you?
BEN : Well..*sigh* he gave me a few lessons when I was really little. My Jedi Master is like myself a ghost but you won't hear or see him so Yoda will do the training.
LUKE : So who's Master was he?
BEN : He taught the Sith Lord who chopped your father's arm off and started the Clone Wars.
LUKE : Well...I'm sorry but this Yoda guy isn't instilling with with much confidence and I don't like the sound of have any of my limbs getting cut off.
BEN *rolls eyes*
LUKE: What?
BEN : Nothing!
LUKE : So who is this Sith Lord guy, Darth Vader?
BEN : No I've already told you I trained Darth Vader...Dooku...Count Dooku he died about the same time as your father.
LUKE : Heard that one before.
Every single remaining TIE fighter should be seen returning to is base ship after Bespin to avoid any confusion as to how they can be deployed in the Battle Of Endor.
This should be underlined by lines of dialogue from all the pilots along the lines of ,"We are about to return to our Stardestroyer, make sure I have a warm cup of blue milk ready".
It shouldn't take less than a couple of hours and only slightly interfere with the music cues of the score.
Replace all of Darth Vader's JEJ dialogue with Hayden Christenson.
Don't think I haven't considered it.
Bingowings said:
The Frozen Wastes Of Hoth...
Luke Skywalker, having just escaped the Wampa's cave has collapsed unconscious and is near death.
BEN : Luke! Luuuke!
LUKE : Ben? Benn?
BEN : You will go to the Dagobah system!
LUKE : Dagobah system?
BEN : There you will learn from Yoda
LUKE : The Jedi Master who instructed you?
BEN : Well..*sigh* he gave me a few lessons when I was really little. My Jedi Master is like myself a ghost but you won't hear or see him so Yoda will do the training.
LUKE : So who's Master was he?
BEN : He taught the Sith Lord who chopped your father's arm off and started the Clone Wars.
LUKE : Well...I'm sorry but this Yoda guy isn't instilling with with much confidence and I don't like the sound of have any of my limbs getting cut off.
BEN *rolls eyes*
LUKE: What?
BEN : Nothing!
LUKE : So who is this Sith Lord guy, Darth Vader?
BEN : No I've already told you I trained Darth Vader...Dooku...Count Dooku he died about the same time as your father.
LUKE : Heard that one before.
We should expect this line to appear in the next Special Edition of Star Wars, known as "The Star Wars Special Limited Deluxe Director's Cut Edition Of The Original Special Edition".
When I think of something to put here, will you let me know?
First of all, send the movies through the digital labs again, so that this time they’re incredibly bit-crushed and the colours are even more dubious.
Make the garbage mattes so blatantly and painfully obvious…
Remove the detention block extension, even move the wall further to the camera
Airbrush the wrinkles from the Emperor’s face.
And as a nod to Temura Morrison being both Jango and Boba Fett, Mark Hamill is now Anakin as well as Luke!
With the exceptions of Episode I, where he’s played by FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED
And Episode VI where he’s played by Marlon Brando.
Although Mark makes a comeback at the end.
Oh, and Watto gains weight and has a 'tache.
That’ll be eighty dollars.
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FIVE STARS! A+! FOUR STARS!
(thanks to http://www.xblackrockx.com/starwars/ for the original captures)
Ol’ George has the GOUT, I see.
^ sublime
But I’m not done yet! Let’s alter the already bad scenes and make them worse!
Jar Jar is removed, which is a blessed relief until it’s revealed that the characters now speak to a tennis ball on a string (sound familiar?)
Airbrush the wrinkles off Jabba the Hutt…
Speaking of Jabba, he now has orgies in his palace.
Zam Weasel is now the Grinch in disguise.
In a Hollywood-shrinking move, Hermione Bagwa becomes Hermione Granger.
And of course, the ultimate insult: the Emperor is now played by George Lucas himself! Yes, art imitates life as he turns from his former, more respectable self…
…to a slightly psychotic con-man.
As a result of faulty colour timing, Mustafar is now a toxic waste facility…
…and Anakin is doused in nuclear waste, dissolving most of his internal organs, and forcing him to become Darth Vader!!
Also, some sound changes…
Ol’ George has the GOUT, I see.
But wait! I’m still not done! Let’s also digitally remove the eyebrows off various characters at various points, just to annoy everyone!
Add a few gonzo hats…
Han cutting open the Tauntaun tears a rift in the fabric of the film!
But above all… ENDOR HOLOCAUST. OH YEAHHHH.
.
.
.
Oh, and Leia is now dressed as a banana.
.
.
.
And let’s alter the hyperspace tunnel, just 'cause.
Ol’ George has the GOUT, I see.
(DON'T CRUCIFY ME)
I actually think the last one looks kind of cool.
I’m just here because I’m driving tonight.
Well that’s nice to hear. But you know what else is kind of cool? …fat people! ;D …because I’m completely insane!
Sly Snooties’ animated fat now looks comical when it jiggles.
Speaking of which, her band now plays “Never Gonna Give You Up”. At least we admit that the film is Rickrolling the audience!
The Queen now hires Enderman as her double.
AHHHHHHH-SAFAN-YAAAAAAAA-HEFALIIINSAFA (or whatever it was - it’s been years since I saw The Lion King…)
C-3PO is now a double agent for the Trade Federation.
After the battle of Naboob, he is sent to Tatooine where he’s painted green.
As a result of colour timing, there is now a subliminal advert for lightsaber duel playsets.
A bit more Hamill-kin, because this one looks hilarious.
Kamino is now home to lens flare overkill, making it look that bit more like the JJprise.
A meta-crisis takes place when Hamill-kin and George go to the opera house to watch Star Wars on a 20x40’ screen. And it still looks like a waxwork museum!
Airbrush the lines from whatshisname’s face.
When the escape pod is launched, the officer says “Go ahead and fire.” And what happens!?
And yet the movie continues as if they missed (they probably did).
Old Ben gets that pipe the script promised him.
In Mos Eisley, rontos block the screen entirely at various intervals.
Han actually runs into Darth Vader in the corridors!
We see Tarkin begin to transport off the Death Star just as it explodes, guaranteeing some unknown sequel in the future.
And that meteorite on Hoth? It’s actually a Martian capsule.
Which leads into a less than subtle nod to the machines that the AT-ATs descended from (thanks to Mr. Grote for the model)
Which allows room for Liam Neeson to reprise his role as the Journalist - or Cliff Klavensburger, whichever’s easiest.
Instead of being encased in carbonite, Han is transfigured into a waxwork - assuming the digital labs haven’t turned him into one already!
And finally, R2 falls through a rift in the film’s continuum when he is shot on Endor.
There! How’d ya like that, Georgie!? These are MY movies now! AHAHAHAHAHAAA!
Ol’ George has the GOUT, I see.
looks a bit like
With four less arms and no fez.
I suggested this :
once myself.
Dude, have you seen my edits? And can you do any of this in motion?
Probably not. But now you bring it up, I might consider it.
Ol’ George has the GOUT, I see.
In fact, given the opportunity, I would! But I don't think I have either the disk space or a sufficient amount of ideas. Probably not enough processor power either. It took at least an hour and a half to convert the trilogy alone into something I can work with in Premiere, and several minutes in a non-responsive state for each film to conform into it!
Ol’ George has the GOUT, I see.