Collaborative Fanediting: An ROTJ Proposition (BACK ON TRACK WITH EMANSWFAN AT THE HELM--SEE POST 1488 OR OP FOR A LINK!) — Page 48

Sorry but what do you think about after the sail barge and how they part ways and the Lars Homestead idea as this is totally new territory and was a bit unsure about how it played out myself... This was really difficult to try and do and make it plausible use the other link you can skip now....

your right about the sandworm that where is this hapenning? would it help to show a hairy bantha foot in the foreground perhaps to explain that is meant to be happening right next to the herd.

I tried to accomplish this with sound but it obviously did not work

Oh, happy to comment on whatever you like.  The only difference I noticed about the sail barge was regarding the actions and death of Mr. Fett, which I already commented on.  Did I miss anything?  I'll again confess that I think you did a good job, and it showed me it can be done and I will be voting yes when presented with your idea.

As for the Lars homestead and surrounding material, I feel you did a good job.  It effectively told the story you wanted, and I thought visually it was very interesting.  But I personally find it a bit distracting from the main story, particularly the flashback stuff.  If we were to include a scene like this, I would suggest forgetting the Falcon once we're focused on Luke; we already know they leave Tatooine and jump to lightspeed.  I'd also probably just cut the flashbacks and the panic in the X-wing and simply have him watching the sunset near his home, the sand blows in, he heads to his X-wing, and we're off.  Especially with the choice of music, we know exactly what Luke is thinking in this moment, and flashbacks don't fit the Star Wars mold that well.  It's not my preferred storyline, but again, if we were to follow your line, I'd probably imply more than I'd show...more powerful and Star Warsy that way.

As always, my comments are meant to be constructive, and I must commend you.  You did good work, Ron.  You should consider investing in the software and taking some movie editing classes.  You've got the natural talent, and you clearly have the passion.

EDIT: in response to the sandworm question, what you'd probably have to do is show several worms throughout the desert, including somebody popping to the surface.  This would make it clearer that there are other creatures present.

darth_ender said:

Oh, happy to comment on whatever you like.  The only difference I noticed about the sail barge was regarding the actions and death of Mr. Fett, which I already commented on.  Did I miss anything?  I'll again confess that I think you did a good job, and it showed me it can be done and I will be voting yes when presented with your idea.

As for the Lars homestead and surrounding material, I feel you did a good job.  It effectively told the story you wanted, and I thought visually it was very interesting.  But I personally find it a bit distracting from the main story, particularly the flashback stuff.  If we were to include a scene like this, I would suggest forgetting the Falcon once we're focused on Luke; we already know they leave Tatooine and jump to lightspeed.  I'd also probably just cut the flashbacks and the panic in the X-wing and simply have him watching the sunset near his home, the sand blows in, he heads to his X-wing, and we're off.  Especially with the choice of music, we know exactly what Luke is thinking in this moment, and flashbacks don't fit the Star Wars mold that well.  It's not my preferred storyline, but again, if we were to follow your line, I'd probably imply more than I'd show...more powerful and Star Warsy that way.

As always, my comments are meant to be constructive, and I must commend you.  You did good work, Ron.  You should consider investing in the software and taking some movie editing classes.  You've got the natural talent, and you clearly have the passion.

EDIT: in response to the sandworm question, what you'd probably have to do is show several worms throughout the desert, including somebody popping to the surface.  This would make it clearer that there are other creatures present.

These were also my thoughts on the matter also... I probaly over did it with the flashbacks and like you say it's un star wars like to do so it was a concern but I atleast tried a little montage so I think you may be correct in that I over complicated the idea when it's better to leave it up to the audience more

I'd really like to show Han and Chewie back in the cockpit of the falson one last time it completes the tatooine adventure a bit more conclusivley like things are back to normal if only for a momment

@fishmanlee I was working on the beggars canyon scene and you sent me a link to the Bobba Fett Holiday special cartoon which is what indirectly inspired the lines for the scene...

you suggested the street singer which is sort of arabic and bingowings suggested nore exotic arabesque dancing music so I ended up coming up with primitave tribal drums whist using the footage from Max Rebo for Rancors lair... I tried the street singer idea and it did not work because the Worrt Barks at C3PO and the Jawas are whispering and it conflicted with this in the scene so I kept it as the original

unless you know how to remove the music thats there and keep the sound effects which I have no idea how to do?

probably you need to remove everything and start from scratch rebuilding the sound from nothing which I did not have time to do...

fishmanlee said:

Ronster said:

you suggested the street singer

That was Mr. Ender I believe.

whoops sorry then my bad

Ronster said:

fishmanlee said:

Ronster said:

you suggested the street singer

That was Mr. Ender I believe.

whoops sorry then my bad

I actually think it was MrInsaneA. Don't think it's a big deal though.

thinking of C3PO losing an eye would it be good that he only has one eye for the remainder of the film might give him a bit more character lol or give him an eye patch evenl sorry I'm being silly nah chewie fixed him up

Yes, it was MrInsaneA, and yes, it is no big deal.  And I see your reasoning there, Ron, with Chewie and Han.  That had never occurred to me.  Nevertheless, it does distract from the story you are trying to tell, and when weighing the two, I think the focus on Luke is more important.

EDIT: I personally don't much care for Salacious Crumb, and removing him altogether would be ideal to me.  If people don't like the Ewoks, they must not much care for the Kowakian Monkey-Lizard either.  Therefore in my script, 3PO never loses an eye.

lol I prefer salacious crumb to an ewok somehow I like the fact he clings to Jabba like this little parasite... I do like Henson stuff though so hands up on this

So thinking again about the Sarlac pit and it's beak or no beak dilemma I thought about the mechanisms involved in this strange creature that is almost like a underwater creature or venus fly trap but stuck in a hole in the desert. So would it make sense that the beak surfaces out of the throat only when the tentacles have prey to pull in otherwise a creature of this sort would not expell energy unneccesarily on no prey what so ever especially a sparse desert where normal prey would be limited it would feed by stealth awaiting things to come it's way and pulling them in. when the tentacle wraps on to somthing the beak extrudes or atleast that is my thoughts on a potential biological view of this creature

so where we as himans have a mouth that leads to a throat this craeture has a throat that leads to it's mouth...but the mouth only acts to pull you in to the throat and onto being digested it does not eat from the beak that only pulls things in....

As Sam the Eagle would say, "You are all weirdos!"  What's to like about that little punk?!  If nothing else, I hate how fake he looks jumping up to the rafters when R2 shocks him.  I'd rather see him go, but it's not like I'm bent on that idea.

perhaps he needs to end up in the sarlac too lol he could fly out the window when R2 shocks him :)

Oh I forgot the slats close up when leia smashes the controls

R2 should get the mini chainsaw out on him then :)

Now there's an idea!

You might actually be able to use some footage from gremlins or somthing and make R2 a killer lol

It could be hilarious or it could be taking things too far but R2 could cut leias chains with the chainsaw too

certainly a good you tube joke vid if it could be done

Just found this website if we want to do any physical modeling instead of CGI:

http://users.hunterlink.net.au/~ddwwp/ScaleSolutionsShopResinModelKits.html

Could do the Executor and the Eclipse.

DominicCobb said:

Ronster said:

fishmanlee said:

Ronster said:

you suggested the street singer

That was Mr. Ender I believe.

whoops sorry then my bad

I actually think it was MrInsaneA. Don't think it's a big deal though.

IT'S A BIG DEAL TO ME! *cries*

Talking about the cut to Obi-wan on Dagobah reiterating "you must face darth Vader again"

the line where he says "you cannot escape your destiny" needs to go long with Obi-wan on the log and lukes back turned then cut to lukes face "I can't kill my own father... Atleast thats the best I can see who to achieve this cut.

@Darth_ender just to clarify with you about the lars homestead scene I think you are right I overdone it and would like you to include it up for vote but state that it would not include the flashbacks that I did in the mock-up I created.

That said you still need to show the falcon in space to allow the transition to this scene so I would like to also affirm that if this scene is up for vote then it may aswell have the Millennium falcon with Han and chewie back in the cockpit one last time also but a seperate vote as it is not neccesary but you need to cut away to somthing as I said.

The last item I would like to add is C3PO's eye still hanging out on the top deck of the sail barge before he falls off the edge and now I think I am finally done.

Please do not put the panic in the x-wing up for vote as I now think this should be completly ditched and forgotton

All part of the experimentation anyway to get to some kind of outcome

I'll include it in the vote and explain what you want so voters aren't confused.

I still haven't gotten around to trying the Ben/Luke discussion, but I will get to it and see if I can make it work, probably next week.

darth_ender said:

Just found this website if we want to do any physical modeling instead of CGI:

http://users.hunterlink.net.au/~ddwwp/ScaleSolutionsShopResinModelKits.html

Could do the Executor and the Eclipse.

Having not known what the eclipse actually looked like until seeing that image on the link, I would say that it suits the emperor very well in a sense that it is stylized as such that it looks more like what he would travel in and I think now I understand why you have been saying this.... Although I would have had no means to be able to do a mock-up with that ship... But as I recall you saying that It would only serve as a vessel and not be in the battle with it's attributes... But you also lose the sense of the fleet getting bigger and amassing their forces in preparation for the rebels attack.

So I like the idea but I feel that you loose the empires fleet amassing there forces in greater numbers around DSII upon arrival of the emperor

Would it need to be Super-ster destroyer size and could the design be star destroyer size (scale down) and just use the design as opposed to what it actually "is" Then you could have it escorted by the executor for example and have the best of both.

Sorry not discounting that you want the Executor to drop Vader off as per the script... I am just looking at other possibilities.

Here is a finished model from scale solutions... To give you an idea what an assembled one might look like

http://www.starwars-models-images.com/others/SCALESOLUTIONS_ECLIPSE.html

So if you could imagine this as star destroyer size and seeing as they were not built until much later on in the EU Saga it might corelate that they were built at super star destroyer size in rememberence of dear old palps.

Basically I feel the design is it's selling point more spiky, gothic and more evil and better suited to the emperor so with not only seeing the imperial palace (if people like that tribute to ralph) and this it would continue to cunjure a greater cliche to old hammer horror type dracula's castle this bloke is incredibly evil. But I don't think it needs to be as big as it is in reality.

jonathan7 said:

Just had an idea for the sand storm deleted scene, could  it be an Imperial probe droid which is spying on them as they escape and then have Vader watching it on a screen... The scene would need to be cut, and have an establishing shot of the droid, but with it up on a screen it would establish why the quality wasn't as good perhap?

It's a good idea but it does not lead anywhere because they are meant to be stowed away on a stolen shuttle after the briefing around sullust and nobody pursues them when they leave tatooine so although it's a good idea in essence it does not serve any plot devices and does not help in anyway the empire catch the hereos.

although if rotj was in it's original structure and you kept boba alive could work better that way you would exlpain how vader knows the rebels are amassing near sullust...

Ronster said:

darth_ender said:

Just found this website if we want to do any physical modeling instead of CGI:

http://users.hunterlink.net.au/~ddwwp/ScaleSolutionsShopResinModelKits.html

Could do the Executor and the Eclipse.

Having not known what the eclipse actually looked like until seeing that image on the link, I would say that it suits the emperor very well in a sense that it is stylized as such that it looks more like what he would travel in and I think now I understand why you have been saying this.... Although I would have had no means to be able to do a mock-up with that ship... But as I recall you saying that It would only serve as a vessel and not be in the battle with it's attributes... But you also lose the sense of the fleet getting bigger and amassing their forces in preparation for the rebels attack.

So I like the idea but I feel that you loose the empires fleet amassing there forces in greater numbers around DSII upon arrival of the emperor

Would it need to be Super-ster destroyer size and could the design be star destroyer size (scale down) and just use the design as opposed to what it actually "is" Then you could have it escorted by the executor for example and have the best of both.

Sorry not discounting that you want the Executor to drop Vader off as per the script... I am just looking at other possibilities.

Here is a finished model from scale solutions... To give you an idea what an assembled one might look like

http://www.starwars-models-images.com/others/SCALESOLUTIONS_ECLIPSE.html

So if you could imagine this as star destroyer size and seeing as they were not built until much later on in the EU Saga it might corelate that they were built at super star destroyer size in rememberence of dear old palps.

Basically I feel the design is it's selling point more spiky, gothic and more evil and better suited to the emperor so with not only seeing the imperial palace (if people like that tribute to ralph) and this it would continue to cunjure a greater cliche to old hammer horror type dracula's castle this bloke is incredibly evil. But I don't think it needs to be as big as it is in reality.

Your reasoning is probably very similar to MrInsaneA's.  I'll just say that I'm not that attached to the Eclipse...I think it'd be fun, but I can live without it.  The reason for ever mentioning it is this: in the novel it  became clear why Vader arrived only in a standard Imperial Star Destroyer--it's because the Emperor arrived in the Super Star Destroyer.  I read this after we'd already changed the script so that Vader arrived in the Executor.  Then it occurred to me...he's the Emperor, he's not going to be outdone by Vader.  Maybe he'd arrive in the Eclipse!  It's even badder in many ways.  Plus it looks pretty darn cool.

Then I thought, "No way.  That ship is too powerful.  Even minus the superlaser, having two giant ships against the Rebels would just be too much to make a happy ending realistic."  But then I thought, well, what if it drops him off and leaves?

You see, if it is to be included, it would have to be on par with Vader's ship, or it's just not worth it.  But then it would have to leave, or it would just be too much.  I know the Empire is amassing ships and men, but an empire as large as the Galactic Empire surely has far more ships and troops than shown here.  They gathered enough to defeat the Rebellion, but their forces still had other missions to perform, such as maintaining martial law throughout the Galaxy.  I can find it believable for the Eclipse to go fill some other role, and perhaps it would be better to explain somehow why it was leaving (not sure how this could be done).  But I truly feel it's better to either keep it big, or leave it out.  I like the idea, but I'm not emotionally attached to it, so either way I'm okay with it.

I guess if anyone can think of a decent way to explain its departure onscreen with available material (perhaps a dubbed line) and without distracting from the story, it might justify its presence a little better.  Any thoughts.

PS I'll include a miniature Eclipse as a voting item anyway.

darth_ender said:

Ronster said:

darth_ender said:

Just found this website if we want to do any physical modeling instead of CGI:

http://users.hunterlink.net.au/~ddwwp/ScaleSolutionsShopResinModelKits.html

Could do the Executor and the Eclipse.

Having not known what the eclipse actually looked like until seeing that image on the link, I would say that it suits the emperor very well in a sense that it is stylized as such that it looks more like what he would travel in and I think now I understand why you have been saying this.... Although I would have had no means to be able to do a mock-up with that ship... But as I recall you saying that It would only serve as a vessel and not be in the battle with it's attributes... But you also lose the sense of the fleet getting bigger and amassing their forces in preparation for the rebels attack.

So I like the idea but I feel that you loose the empires fleet amassing there forces in greater numbers around DSII upon arrival of the emperor

Would it need to be Super-ster destroyer size and could the design be star destroyer size (scale down) and just use the design as opposed to what it actually "is" Then you could have it escorted by the executor for example and have the best of both.

Sorry not discounting that you want the Executor to drop Vader off as per the script... I am just looking at other possibilities.

Here is a finished model from scale solutions... To give you an idea what an assembled one might look like

http://www.starwars-models-images.com/others/SCALESOLUTIONS_ECLIPSE.html

So if you could imagine this as star destroyer size and seeing as they were not built until much later on in the EU Saga it might corelate that they were built at super star destroyer size in rememberence of dear old palps.

Basically I feel the design is it's selling point more spiky, gothic and more evil and better suited to the emperor so with not only seeing the imperial palace (if people like that tribute to ralph) and this it would continue to cunjure a greater cliche to old hammer horror type dracula's castle this bloke is incredibly evil. But I don't think it needs to be as big as it is in reality.

Your reasoning is probably very similar to MrInsaneA's.  I'll just say that I'm not that attached to the Eclipse...I think it'd be fun, but I can live without it.  The reason for ever mentioning it is this: in the novel it  became clear why Vader arrived only in a standard Imperial Star Destroyer--it's because the Emperor arrived in the Super Star Destroyer.  I read this after we'd already changed the script so that Vader arrived in the Executor.  Then it occurred to me...he's the Emperor, he's not going to be outdone by Vader.  Maybe he'd arrive in the Eclipse!  It's even badder in many ways.  Plus it looks pretty darn cool.

Then I thought, "No way.  That ship is too powerful.  Even minus the superlaser, having two giant ships against the Rebels would just be too much to make a happy ending realistic."  But then I thought, well, what if it drops him off and leaves?

You see, if it is to be included, it would have to be on par with Vader's ship, or it's just not worth it.  But then it would have to leave, or it would just be too much.  I know the Empire is amassing ships and men, but an empire as large as the Galactic Empire surely has far more ships and troops than shown here.  They gathered enough to defeat the Rebellion, but their forces still had other missions to perform, such as maintaining martial law throughout the Galaxy.  I can find it believable for the Eclipse to go fill some other role, and perhaps it would be better to explain somehow why it was leaving (not sure how this could be done).  But I truly feel it's better to either keep it big, or leave it out.  I like the idea, but I'm not emotionally attached to it, so either way I'm okay with it.

I guess if anyone can think of a decent way to explain its departure onscreen with available material (perhaps a dubbed line) and without distracting from the story, it might justify its presence a little better.  Any thoughts.

PS I'll include a miniature Eclipse as a voting item anyway.

 

I think you are on the right lines D but like I myself have overdone it with some of miy ideas I think this is perhaps in the similar vein but after seeing this for the first time only today... I think it would be a very fitting ship for the emperor almost like an air force one for the emperor but it's size is too much that is all and I do really want to support the suggestion as I agree looks cool it looks gothic and most of all evil designed no doubt with the emperor in mind it should be his personal transport but the executor cannot be outdone as this is the super-star destroyer of OT and nothing else.

Although thinking if they build him his own star destroyer then he would need a modified shuttle also going down this stram of thought. But it ends there...

If it were decided to go this far I guess heis worth it afterall one of the best evil villains ever he deserves it.

Never new what I was doing in my mock-ups were cannon?

no need for any dubs just show it going into hyperspace... It left...