101 Uses for an Ewok

Author: xhonzi
Date: 18-Mar-2010, 12:40 PM

Author: xhonzi
Time: 18-Mar-2010 12:40 PM (Edited)
Post link

This was a pretty good time on r.a.s.s.m. back in 1996 or so.

Here a goes:

101 Uses for an Ewok:

1.Ewok Burgers
2.Put a handle on one a use it as a paint brush.
3.Mittens!
4.Stuff some inside a Taun-taun for an extra warm fur lined impromptu sleeping bag.

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

Author: TV's Frink
Time: 18-Mar-2010 1:15 PM (Edited)
Post link

xhonzi said:

2.But a handle on one a use it as a paint brush.

But a handle would be...

*ring* *ring*

Hang on...

*click*

Hello?

Hi Doc.

Yes, I know you told me to stop correcting typos. Sorry.

It won't happen again.

*click*

Author: vote_for_palpatine
Time: 18-Mar-2010 1:17 PM
Post link

5. Hit single, "Ewok Like An Egyptian"
6. Wingman to make you look really good down at the club
7. New acrobat troupe!
8. Make the Star Wars Universe even more awesome

Want to book yourself or a guest on THE VFP Show? PM me!

Author: vote_for_palpatine
Time: 18-Mar-2010 1:17 PM
Post link

And apparently Frink got himself a cell phone!

Want to book yourself or a guest on THE VFP Show? PM me!

Author: adywan
Time: 18-Mar-2010 1:19 PM (Edited)
Post link

9. For bears to wipe their ass on in the woods
10. Door draught excluder
11. Merchandising.

ANH:REVISITED
ESB:REVISITED

DONATIONS TOWARDS MATERIALS FOR THE REVISITED SAGA

Author: xhonzi
Time: 18-Mar-2010 3:00 PM
Post link

12. Illegal betting on ewok fights

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

Author: TV's Frink
Time: 18-Mar-2010 3:06 PM
Post link

xhonzi said:

12. Illegal betting on ewok fights

I'm confused. Are ewok (ewoks?) legal tender too?

Author: xhonzi
Time: 18-Mar-2010 3:21 PM (Edited)
Post link

I'm confused at your confusion. I assume I made a typo... but I don't see it.

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

Author: TV's Frink
Time: 18-Mar-2010 3:39 PM (Edited)
Post link

No typo involved, it was just a joke.

If illegal betting on ewok fights is a use for an ewok, i.e. you can use the ewok for betting, it must be legal tender.

Not my best work, I'll admit. Hang on, I got another call...

Author: Davnes007
Time: 18-Mar-2010 4:49 PM (Edited)
Post link

13: Moving targets for Stormtrooper weapons training.

14: Sent to Kashyyyk as pets.

Star Wars Episode XXX: Erica Strikes Back

Davnes007 Logo

If you want Nice, go to France

Author: Ric Olie
Time: 18-Mar-2010 4:56 PM
Post link

15. Sustenance (not as tasty as Gungan meat, but gets the job done)

Author: xhonzi
Time: 18-Mar-2010 6:22 PM
Post link

16. Sent to Kashyyyk during the "mini-me" craze.

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

Author: Davnes007
Time: 20-Mar-2010 12:11 AM
Post link

17: Extras in a weird dirty movie.

18: Chimney sweeps (being used as a brush)

Star Wars Episode XXX: Erica Strikes Back

Davnes007 Logo

If you want Nice, go to France

Author: Sluggo
Time: 20-Mar-2010 2:07 PM
Post link

p.a.t.é (people for the appetizer treatment of ewoks) approves of this thread.

Author: Sluggo
Time: 20-Mar-2010 2:14 PM
Post link

19. Cosmetics testing

20. New thanksgiving meal Tur-Ewok-en. A chicken stuffed into a ewok stuffed into a turkey.

21. Pinata?

Author: xhonzi
Time: 22-Mar-2010 1:26 PM
Post link

Forget Turducken- Turewoken is the new hotness!

22. Build-a-Bear fashion models

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

Author: xhonzi
Time: 23-Mar-2010 4:08 PM (Edited)
Post link

23. Great car washing accessory- better than a chamois even! Use one to wash and scrub, use another to buff to a high shine!

24. Dishwashers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ0S0BUE0zg

24. Exotic Entertainers?

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

Author: TV's Frink
Time: 23-Mar-2010 6:03 PM (Edited)
Post link

xhonzi said:

24. Exotic Entertainers?

24a. Exotic Entertainers when you want to clear the place out and close for the night.

Author: xhonzi
Time: 23-Mar-2010 8:07 PM
Post link

Eh. It's a living.

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

Author: Moth3r
Time: 24-Mar-2010 8:32 AM
Post link

25. An Ewok skin would make a great barfly jumping suit for a midget.

Guidelines for post content and general behaviour: read announcement here

Max. allowable image sizes in signatures: reminder here

Author: EyeShotFirst
Time: 24-Mar-2010 8:41 AM
Post link

26. Bungee-jump cord testing.

27. Crash test dummies for child seats.

"The other versions will disappear. Even the 35 million tapes of Star Wars out there won’t last more than 30 or 40 years. A hundred years from now, the only version of the movie that anyone will remember will be the DVD version [of the Special Edition], and you’ll be able to project it on a 20’ by 40’ screen with perfect quality. I think it’s the director’s prerogative, not the studio’s to go back and reinvent a movie." - George Lucas

Author: Sluggo
Time: 24-Mar-2010 1:57 PM (Edited)
Post link

28. Could be useful for a band that needs a drummer and all the band had were stormtrooper helmets.

Author: xhonzi
Time: 24-Mar-2010 4:30 PM
Post link

29. A band that has a drummer and drums but has misplaced the pillow that they put in their kickdrum.

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

Author: xhonzi
Time: 25-Jan-2011 2:48 PM
Post link

Frankly, I think we've been funnier here than those ol' RASSM'ers were back when.

But here are some links to some of the classic hijinx:

http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc/browse_thread/thread/2df4468abcbbba6b/bc0fe925df6be79b?hl=en&lnk=gst&q=101+uses#bc0fe925df6be79b

http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc/browse_thread/thread/ad1c93ed6582c63c/6aa9bfc5e3aa4325?hl=en&lnk=gst&q=101+uses#6aa9bfc5e3aa4325

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

Author: TheBoost
Time: 25-Jan-2011 3:15 PM
Post link

xhonzi said:

Frankly, I think we've been funnier here than those ol' RASSM'ers were back when.

But here are some links to some of the classic hijinx:

http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc/browse_thread/thread/2df4468abcbbba6b/bc0fe925df6be79b?hl=en&lnk=gst&q=101+uses#bc0fe925df6be79b

http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc/browse_thread/thread/ad1c93ed6582c63c/6aa9bfc5e3aa4325?hl=en&lnk=gst&q=101+uses#6aa9bfc5e3aa4325

Seriously, what the hell is a RASSM?