Love it, RogueLeader! Some of my thoughts:
Some thoughts on the Kijimi sequence: Kijimi in Revolt, 3PO’s Irreversible Sacrifice, and Poe’s Past.
Add details to Kijimi to establish that it is revolting.
While they’re sneaking around, add civilian protest shouts in the distance, maybe something like, “For Skywalker!” Maybe then we could hear blaster shots or an explosion.
That would be awesome, and would tie into the “Luke’s inspirational sacrifice” motif we’re trying to weave into the film.
- When Zori says, “I’m still digging myself out of the whole you put me in when you left to join the Resistance”, cut “-to join the Resistance”, or “-when you left to join the Resistance”. This gives us more ambiguity so people can interpret the situation in different ways. 1) The canon explanation, where Poe left to join the New Republic, which he was a part of before he joined the Resistance. 2) Maybe Poe only worked as a spice runner undercover as a Republic operative, and messed up their operations during his mission.
I’m in favor of cutting the whole “Spice-Runner” thing, myself. bbghost posted a great mockup a while back. The only other thing would be cutting “Babu only works for the crew. That’s not you anymore.”
- When Rey whips out her lightsaber, add offscreen dialogue of Zori’s awestruck crew saying, “Jedi!”, or “The Jedi!” Maybe Zori and her crew just thought she was a “scavenger” at first. But when they realize she’s a Jedi, Zori becomes more willing to work with them. It gives more of a reason as to why she thinks Rey is “okay”, and why she goes from pointing a gun at Poe’s head, to helping him, in 30 seconds flat.
Love this!! Again, this really helps tie back into the “Galaxy being inspired again by the legends of the Jedi” thing.
- Cut 3PO saying, “I just had an idea of something else-“ before Babu turns him off. It kind of takes away a little bit from 3PO making this sacrifice. So maybe 3PO could say something like, “Tell R2 I-“ or “I have a bad feeling about-“
What? Nah, we should definitely undercut the sacrifice with a joke.
I’m kidding. Cut the line.
EDIT: If we still wanted some sort of joke, I’d love for 3PO to embrace his sacrifice. I think a line like “I wonder if they’ll make a statue of me?” before he’s immediately deactivated would strike the right balance of sweet, sentimental, and ironic.
Making the Dagger an Ancient Artifact
- In order to make the dagger distinctly ancient, redub Red-Eyed 3PO to give a new translation of the dagger. Instead of giving the exact coordinates, the new translation instructs the wielder to hold the dagger and embrace the darkness it holds. If they accept this “test”, the dagger will show them the way.
- Cut Finn saying, “The Endor system? Isn’t that where the last war ended?” This will be pushed to later. They don’t have time to react to the translation, because the First Order shows up.
- After Rey senses the dagger on the ship, cut Poe asking why they need it, and Rey saying, “A feeling.” The new translation makes it clear that they need the dagger to find the Wayfinder.
- When Rey picks up the dagger and stares at it, she begins hearing whispers/screams and eventually sees a quick glimpse of the Death Star ruins. Kylo Ren interrupts her right after this moment. (This would tie in well to the whispers guiding her to vault on the Death Star, as Ascendant currently has it.)
- At the beginning of the scene with Rey and Finn fixing the Falcon, add a part of Finn’s earlier line, “The Endor system? Where the last war ended?” (Either sentence, both likely won’t fit). Rey continues “All that matters is finding the Wayfinder. Finding Exegol.” Adding the line here helps clarify that Rey told them about her vision of the Death Star after they regrouped, and now they are heading there.
I’d love to see this in practice, because it sounds really good! Streamlined, effective, thematically relevant; and it seems tailor-made to the proposed angle for Rey Nobody, with Rey’s inner darkness. Would 3PO’s “Sith Translation” have to be re-dubbed completely from scratch, I assume?