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Hello! I would like access to the tracker, too.
The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one! — Page 21
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Sent.
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Sassy/clever Obi-Wan is always good value, agreed. But in this instance I think it’s more of a gain to cut Loathsom.
I do definitely agree that every lightsaber fight cheapens lightsabers, but like the battle droid voices, they are unfortunately just part of the fabric of Clone Wars. My hope is that even after my edit, TCW and Rebels remain the least good Star Wars TV shows- I’m just trying to up the quality of TCW where it needs it most.
I’ll always try to judge the inclusion of lightsabers (or anything) on their pros and cons- in this case I think Ventress having tricked them is a cool intro for her and adds some threat to the episode beyond just “TANKS ARE COMING”. But I’ll also always stay open to community opinion.
I guess you’re right. Anyway, keep up the good work!
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Could I have access too? I’ve been following this for a while, and it sounds interesting.
My preferred Skywalker Saga experience:
I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX
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I have to say “The Death Watch” is pretty great. I can’t speak for new viewers since I’m very familiar with these particular couple of episodes, but it really grasps the CW spirit and feels like something that could have been if the producers chose to do a number of “special”, longer chapters.
The intro and the transition to the episode work well, as I said earlier.
I can live with the mining base scene feeling somewhat rushed. The one thing that was more headscratching for me was to hear both Obi-Wan and Satine mention him being rescued by the Duchess after they escape from the base. Without the conveyor belt sequence Satine showing up hardly qualifies as a rescue at all. I take that you’re not interested in restoring the entire sequence, though you could just excise this later exchange between Obi-Wan and Satine. This would also fit better with Satine and Obi-Wan not acting very friendly to each other the next morning.
The transition between Mandalore Plot and Voyage of Temptation was seamless, great work on that one. The two episodes work surprisingly well when merged; Anakin arrives at the precise moment to act as the audience surrogate and learn about Obi-Wan’s past with Satine which was left somewhat vague in the original Mandalore Plot episode.
The argument between Satine and Obi-Wan flows nicely. The cuts are indiscernible.
I’d argue the shot of the Coronet in hyperspace coming right after the ship makes the jump feels a bit rough. Maybe you could move up the scene of the Coronet activating hyperspace just before the conversation on Satine’s quarters. On the other hand removing the bit with the mini-spider probes works pretty well, the pacing was on point.
I’m very hyped for what this project has next to offer and I’m glad to contribute! In fact I’m interested in making and sharing Spanish subtitles for the episodes if it’s of any help to you.
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Thanks Knight of Kalee. Glad there was nothing egregious. I’ll check the post-fight conversation and the hyperspace jump!
Edit: Hang on - on the post-fight conversation, I cut the bit about Satine saving Obi-Wan. The conversation now reads: “For a man sworn to peace, you take an unseemly pleasure in the injuries of others.” “For a woman sworn to non-violence, you don’t seem troubled that I could have been killed back there.” “But you weren’t.” “Well, you certainly haven’t changed.”
This way, it reads that she’s being sassy about him getting in a fight (since she’s a pacifist), then he’s effectively saying “I’m fine, thanks for [not] asking”, and her replying “I didn’t need to ask because you clearly can handle yourself.” At least that’s my take.
In the original version of the scene, she tells him off for not thanking her.
Or were you referring to some other conversation?
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Had a look at the finished version of the Mandalore episode. The intro is really solid, but I wouldn’t mind more of a transition from the episode title to the actual start of the episode. As it is, it feels as if the intro is a commercial and then the show returns from a commercial break, if you get what I mean. The episode starts quite suddenly and doesn’t feel led in to. Perhaps you could try to shoehorn in the shot the others mentioned before while the intro music is still playing, or something.
The editing is as solid as it was every other time I watched it before, and Obi-Wan’s saber doesn’t seem like an issue to me: he clearly shows he’d forgotten about it since he tries to grab it from his waistband, and we can easily infer that Vizsla or one of his men picked it up offscreen. I think the conversation Kalee is referring to is at 18:59 - Satine claims to have saved Obi-Wan’s life even though that’s not really justifiable anymore. The cut in the later portion of the episode from Obi-Wan in the lift to “a civil war killed most of Satine’s people” still feels very sudden even without the lift door noise, because Obi-Wan starts speaking INSTANTLY on the cut, but I guess that’s a limitation of the footage.
Edit:
The outro/credits feels like it comes in a touch soon and not very gracefully. Is there any way you could preserve more of the original credits music build up? TCW always made a big point of building the music all the way up and then suddenly hitting you with the credits, much like the movies, and I think attempting to work off of that (maybe even also irising out to be able to use more of the footage), rather than trying to cut off the build-up with a fade out, could work better. The actual outro sequence is awesome though, and I think the character art even works nicely (concept art Satine looks even more like Cate Blanchett!). One little thing; did you deliberately put the text shadow such that it’s a little far away from touching the text on the top line? I’d be tempted to squish it up so it’s touching as much as the shadow for the names on the bottom line.
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Ahhh, spot on about the 18:59 conversation, I’d missed that. Apologies Knight of Kalee. And we don’t know they have that much of a history yet so the audience wouldn’t assume it relates to previous events. I’ll trim that out.
I’ll see what I can do to extend the opening too. I’m not ready to learn a new piece of software yet to create the audio effects for that sequence, but I’ll see what else I can do in the meantime.
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I have just watched both of your edits. I’m not so sure about the inclusion of the elements from the prequel Christopsis episodes (Ventress and Bail). I don’t want to dismiss those ideas right away as I realize this is only a rough cut and you probably want to work on it some more.
I think the Mandalore episode is pretty much good to go. I can’t believe how well the conveyor belt scene cut works. I’ll echo some of the notes already mentioned. The mention of Satine’s “daring rescue” probably needs to go. All she really does is provide a brief distraction during the fight. As for the elevator cut you could probably fix this by adding in the SFX of the door opening. I believe Smudger solves this cut by intercuting to a brief shot of the ship in hyperspace, which should also work out nicely.
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Oh and one more thing. I love how the Christopsis episode ends on Obi-Wan saying “I best be on my way” as he leaves for his ship. It flows right into the intro of the Mandalore episode. If there is a way to further strengthen this connection, perhaps by adding in a line of dialogue, that would be amazing.
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Cheers Wexter. I’ll produce a more polished cut of Christophsis, then let people decide. I’m happy to drop Bail, or Ventress, if they don’t really work. I’m more inclined to keep Ventress though, as Ahsoka fights her solo in our episode three, and I’d prefer her established by then. But let’s see once I produce a release cut.
Glad you think the conveyor belt works - I’m really proud of that one, and grateful for the community feedback which got it to that point. But yeah, I’ll trim Satine’s “daring rescue”, and look at the elevator again. I did originally have a door SFX there, but I actually found that more jarring. I might need to just split the scene - and doing that with hyperspace looks like it’d kill two birds with one stone.
Question for the community: Should I have not called this a release version? I don’t want anyone to feel like they were duped into watching an incomplete episode. I always want to refine my “release” episodes based on feedback, so I’d guess that my version 1.1s will always quickly follow my version 1.0s, but am I misleading you guys by calling what I released a 1.0 release version?
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Oh and one more thing. I love how the Christopsis episode ends on Obi-Wan saying “I best be on my way” as he leaves for his ship. It flows right into the intro of the Mandalore episode. If there is a way to further strengthen this connection, perhaps by adding in a line of dialogue, that would be amazing.
Oooh, that is a nice idea. I’d love to do that. I’d need to cobble together dialogue, which requires a full run through of the show, so it’s not going to happen in my first runthrough. But I’ve got a list here of “elements to look out for”, so I’ll see if I can find Yoda talking about Mandalore or something. It also works with the implication that the “emergency” that Ahsoka tries to call Obi-Wan and Anakin back to the core for is something relating to the Mandalorian attack on the Republic cruiser.
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@EddieDean — Happy to help with outro music stuff too if you like.
And in terms of not having enough art for the credits, I think you could spend more time per piece of art and slow down the movement for greater effect. That might buy you enough time. I think they are slightly too fast as is anyway.
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Yeah, but for example, these two episodes only have three pieces of art between them. And they’re not that good. Perhaps when I get into the later seasons when the art gets absolutely gorgeous (they start doing ‘lighting references’ at some point, which always look good) I’ll linger on them more. But I think when they aren’t that lovely, it’s best to show them more as an interesting behind the scenes than as a specific element of beauty.
And your help’s always welcome… Though I don’t think even John Williams could give us a more perfect outro piece. I just love Order 66 (Sad Version).
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Question for the community: Should I have not called this a release version? I don’t want anyone to feel like they were duped into watching an incomplete episode. I always want to refine my “release” episodes based on feedback, so I’d guess that my version 1.1s will always quickly follow my version 1.0s, but am I misleading you guys by calling what I released a 1.0 release version?
I wouldn’t worry about this. Version 1.0 is a completed episode with its intent a fully realised. It is quite common for fanedits to receive revisions years after the initial version has been unearthed. Plus this version is still only available for whoever has access to the tracker. If you are worried about the nomenclature, just call the first complete cut of an episode “beta” or something like that 😃
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Knight of Kalee, just spotted your edit.
I agree on tightening up the text shadow a little.
I’m going to struggle with the outro credits in this and every episode, since it always builds up then drops into the bombast of the original.
Unless @McFibb has an idea to draw out the opening of the music track I’m using any further? More of a build then drop into the operatic singing? It’d need to be about 20/30 sec before the current start, with the peak just before where the start is.
But even then, it’s not something I’d be able to use in every episode, I don’t think.
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Knight of Kalee, just spotted your edit.
Close enough 😉
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I’d love access to the tracker as well.
“Star Wars has, and will always be a restaurant.”
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Wow, lots of progress has been made since I last checked! I misplaced the link to the tracker, could you PM that to me? I’m excited to see how the first couple episodes feel. I’ve only watched the series once, so hopefully I can be another set of fresh eyes!
I am no Jedi
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Knight of Kalee, just spotted your edit.
I agree on tightening up the text shadow a little.
I’m going to struggle with the outro credits in this and every episode, since it always builds up then drops into the bombast of the original.
Unless @McFibb has an idea to draw out the opening of the music track I’m using any further? More of a build then drop into the operatic singing? It’d need to be about 20/30 sec before the current start, with the peak just before where the start is.
But even then, it’s not something I’d be able to use in every episode, I don’t think.
Yup — that’s what I meant by helping out. Love the music too, but happy to take a swing at getting the timing/tone right for the entirety of the outro. Can you clarify a bit more about what you’re looking for?
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Would love a link!
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Knight of Kalee, just spotted your edit.
Close enough 😉
Well, you got it from context, so… 😉
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Knight of Kalee, just spotted your edit.
I agree on tightening up the text shadow a little.
I’m going to struggle with the outro credits in this and every episode, since it always builds up then drops into the bombast of the original.
Unless @McFibb has an idea to draw out the opening of the music track I’m using any further? More of a build then drop into the operatic singing? It’d need to be about 20/30 sec before the current start, with the peak just before where the start is.
But even then, it’s not something I’d be able to use in every episode, I don’t think.
Yup — that’s what I meant by helping out. Love the music too, but happy to take a swing at getting the timing/tone right for the entirety of the outro. Can you clarify a bit more about what you’re looking for?
I’ll try:
So we’re talking about extending the start of ‘The Clones Theme Order 66 Sad Version’.
Currently, it begins with a little hum, then some choral singing, then the brass comes in.
Compare that to existing episodes (like my S01E02), where the final dialogue to close out the episode normally plays over some music which builds slowly for about 30 seconds, giving the sense it’s wrapping up the story, then drops into the BA-BAHHH of the Clone Wars logo / closing credits.
As it stands now, because I’m cutting the BA-BAHHH, we end up with a track slowly building, but then fading out so that I can drop into the choral music of ‘Clones Sad’.
I feel like the best way to achieve the same effect with this track would be to allow the brass drop to replace the original credits’ BA-BAHHH, in which case the choral part becomes our build up.
I’ve quickly mocked this up (VERY ROUGH, excuse quality) to give you an idea of what I’m thinking makes sense.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JwpM7ATxqbDAlMh_6ggOWkFntD0Y_3SE/view?usp=sharing
The top yellow track in this video is the episode’s video, the bottom yellow track is the music channel, and the bottom blue track is the voice/sfx.
You can see that, to replace the existing track entirely, I’ve had to pull the beginning of Clones Sad back 30 seconds into the episode proper.
I’ve extended the choir to do this, which I think is neat, but it’s probably way too dominant. I don’t know if you could achieve something more subtle. Or something which achieves the same emotional effect, but with different sounds - but which still launches nicely into the brass drop. And I’d prefer not to lose the choir altogether since I think it’s a nice part of the anticipation.
There’s also a risk that other episodes start their build as early as maybe 40 seconds in, in which case I’d need maybe 40 seconds of neutral/choral build before we get to the brass drop.
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PMs sent.
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Why does Obi go to visit the mines?
I’m sure the episode explains this- he’s suspicious that they may be active and Death Watch, and goes to check them out.
Why does the the mines level of operation indicate Death Watch activity?
They’re clearly being used to produce new Mandalorian armour- the same armour that the commando who attacked the Republic cruiser was wearing. He trusts that Satine would be telling him if the peaceful Mandalorians were producing their own armour again.
It’s that last bit though, that they’re now being used as factories that I don’t recall being highlighted in the episode. It’s an effective shot when he sees that they are producing the armour, but his argument for leaving Satine in the first place was to see if the mines were active or not. There’s nothing previously to suggest that the Concordians mining is suspicious activity. Mines aren’t foundries or factories (at least not automatically) so it’s a leap to go from ‘there’s mines on this planet’ to 'I bet they’re making supercommando armour there).
As I write this I know exactly what would have cleared it up… The word ‘Beskar’. Beskar mines would indicate armour production. It’s a shame the word is never mentioned in TCW.
I’ll look at episode 1 this evening.