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The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released) — Page 151

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Making my way through the work print during my lunch break. A few things I’ve noticed so far that I believe could be tweaked. Some have already been mentioned:

  • I’m an advocate of the “Mustafar Minute” being added I the beginning if possible

  • Perhaps the removal of Palaptine’s “Kill the girl” line. His plans for Kylo and Rey are somewhat muddled in this film

  • Removal of Klaud (could someone just put a digital door in the background in the cockpit to paint him out)

  • I could go either way with Boolio being dubbed over in an alien language

  • Perhaps the removal of the light speed skipping combo

  • Please remove the stormtrooper convo about the knights of Ren (at least the secondary troopers reply back)

  • Please remove “they fly now”

  • Please remove the flashlight gag or at least the sound when Poe activated it

  • I’m down for the trimming of Kylo’s tie fighter exploding

  • If we could make a shot of ochi’s ship leaving the planet after the transport explosion that be awesome; seems like Kylo would pursue Rey woo unless she was a further distance away

  • I’d cut “I’d like to see your brains in the show”

  • I’d probably add some Knights of Ren dialogue as suggested

That’s it for now; overall I really am enjoying it. Just think we could trim some of the minor fat still left

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Since I don’t have strong feelings one way or the other, I could plan to use “Ben, come home” if and when Dominic (or anyone) gets it to sound seamless.

Adding the dyad to the opening scene seems pretty sketchy to me. The audio is pretty rough. I’m okay with leaving the dyad pretty much as it is, clunky though it be.

Movies Remastered, would you mind posting or directing me to a clip of your idea for adding a DOTF moment to the acolytes?

My stance on revising fan edits.

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Sorry Hal, I’m still having to goto my mum’s to upload. My provider can’t fix my line at my house.

I’m due to upload anotjer video in 3 days so can do it then if that’s ok?

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DZ-330 said:

  • If possible, try to create a shot of the heroes escaping Passana on Ochie’s ship. It is very abrupt how the next scene is just them randomly in space somehwere when there was a swarm of TIEs

Something like this?

https://vimeo.com/430068518
pw: fanedit

You might want to adjust the music, although the way it drops out felt kind of interesting to me. There’s also a bit of suspension of disbelief with a time jump between shots and going to hyperspace so quickly. We could leave out the hyperspace jump.

Also, fwiw, I like that the Kylo/Rey duel has no music. It feels raw that way, driven by the performances and tension between the actors. And the sounds of the waves crashing provide a great soundscape. If music is used, I do like the edit posted a few weeks back (sorry I can’t remember who did it) incorporating pieces of Kylo and Rey’s themes. I think it should be music that’s personal and relates to these characters.

I also agree with the slight reordering of the opening scenes to break up the Ajan Kloss material! It improves the pacing greatly by making it feel like time is passing, and flows more naturally from the dialogue.

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Dexter Jettster’s Lab said:

  • I’m not a huge fan of the Palpatine “Find Me” with the wayfinder. It buries the lead of the reveal that is about to happen in the very next scene and lays on the device’s purpose a little too thick while the new crawl will already establish that as is.

Yes, this.

The Skywalker Saga:
I · II · III · IV · V · VI · VII · VIII · IX
This is the way.

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poppasketti said:

Something like this?

https://vimeo.com/430068518
pw: fanedit

I also agree with the slight reordering of the opening scenes to break up the Ajan Kloss material! It improves the pacing greatly by making it feel like time is passing, and flows more naturally from the dialogue.

I’m slowly getting convinced that you aren’t human with how quick you pump out new effects lol. Plus the restructure is something I was a strong advisor for.

Kylo: “Who is she?”
Cuts to Rey scene

Allows time to pass

“Still no word from the Falcon”
Cuts to Falcon scene

Falcon gets message from Bolio and we cut to new establishing shot of Ajan Kloss and Rey reading the texts with “Rey, the Falcon’s back!”

I’ll mock something up later for this. I think I have a good idea for fixing the abruptness of the ending of the ice wall scene

The Skywalker Saga:
I · II · III · IV · V · VI · VII · VIII · IX
This is the way.

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Hey, that’s what the movie needs. JJ needs to overcome his allergy to ships taking off and landing.

Put JJ in the Clockwork Orange chair watching the Enterprise scene from Star Trek TMP.

My stance on revising fan edits.

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poppasketti said:

DZ-330 said:

  • If possible, try to create a shot of the heroes escaping Passana on Ochie’s ship. It is very abrupt how the next scene is just them randomly in space somehwere when there was a swarm of TIEs

Something like this?

https://vimeo.com/430068518
pw: fanedit

You’re an absolute Wizard! 😲

My only issue with that scene is the fact they would be flying into oncoming toe fighters. I always wondered how the escaped that chase so ease.

Hal, you’re totally right. What’s JJs problem with ships landing properly?

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Movies Remastered said:
Hal, you’re totally right. What’s JJs problem with ships landing properly?

I think JJ just took George’s “faster and more intense” and punched it up to cloud 9.

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

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I finished watching a few TROS fan edits and it was a pleasure to watch all the technical skill. The Jedi force ghosts appearing at the finale and helping Rey defeat Palpatine was quite a marvel. And I really enjoyed HAL9000 putting the chess match at the end. Here are some notes I’d like to add in general that I think would improve a TROS fan edit.

  • I think Leia should be removed from the story entirely. It’s unfortunate, but TFA unused footage of her makes her come off as an automaton reducing her presence in the film as artificial. Mentioning her death in the opening crawl would be the best work around. You’d have to cut out the “we had each other” scene between Poe and Lando or re-create something where Poe is looking at a picture of Leia in order to keep the scene. You can still keep the flashback training with Luke and her force ghost appearance with Luke at the very end. Removing Leia does affect Kylo’s “transformation” at the end of the second act. But, I think Rey healing him and the Han scene might be enough.

  • I think Chewbacca’s fake-out death is problematic on many levels. I may be able to tolerate non-stop fetch quest macguffins, but not this. Faking his death came off contrived and manipulative. I’m for removing it. The edit is do-able. Cut from when Fin says “they got Chewy”. Remove Rey and Kylo force tugging the ship, etc. Cut in Kylo walking from his wrecked ship and Poe signaling approaching enemy ships. The scenes after that refer to Chewy’s death can be edited down as well (eg. cut Poe’s line “then Chewy’s died for nothing”). But, the scene between Finn and Rey about seeing her on the Sith thrown with Kylo will be hard to edit down and keep.

Since there is little to no thematic relevance to these scenes, I think removing them helps streamline the narrative. Keep the story focused on the hero’s journey of both Rey and Kylo and them converging towards a confrontation with Palpatine.

Also, I prefer no kiss and no “Rey Skywalker”. And if I had my way, I would put everyone at end. All four Skywalker ghosts on Tattooine looking upon Rey. Then Rey, Finn, Poe, Chewbacca, C3-PO, R2-D2 and BB-8 at the Tattooine sunset. J.J. gets his all-inclusive Star Wars finale.

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Leia is always going to be a very weird thing about this movie, but I don’t plan to remove her for my edit.

I like the scene where Chewie supposedly dies, I just don’t like that it was a cheap fakeout! However, it’s a little beyond the scope of this project to just remove. Now, we see Rey sense Chewie’s alive, and see him a bit later when the crew rescue him. Damn, it’d be good to have that Kylo Chewie scene to work with.

My stance on revising fan edits.

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Since no one has brought it up, what about trimming the line “Dark science, cloning, secrets only the Sith knew.

It’s so dumb considering there was an entire war named after clones with no direct relation to the Sith.

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Hal 9000 said:

Damn, it’d be good to have that Kylo Chewie scene to work with.

Is it confirmed that scene was shot? I saw the concept art of it, but I’m not sure if they got as far as to filming it.

The name’s Lawson. Noah Lawson.

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Burbin said:

Since no one has brought it up, what about trimming the line “Dark science, cloning, secrets only the Sith knew.

It’s so dumb considering there was an entire war named after clones with no direct relation to the Sith.

Well, it’s nice to have an onscreen reference to the possibility of Palpatine being a clone. For lack of any other way to make that more solid of an idea, I’d be reluctant to remove it.

And as cool of an idea as it is, Palpatine’s microphone reading of “more than a clone, less than a man” just seems to different to fit in.

My stance on revising fan edits.

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Also, I know that you’ll be making two versions to please both sides of Rey’s lineage (like you did with Padmé’s fate in your edit of Episode III), but just curious which you’d prefer overall for the story, Hal? I prefer her to be a nobody than be Palpatine’s granddaughter.

The name’s Lawson. Noah Lawson.

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Hal 9000 said:
And as cool of an idea as it is, Palpatine’s microphone reading of “more than a clone, less than a man” just seems to different to fit in.

Maybe some of the audio wizards here could work on it?
Here’s the source: https://youtu.be/orSF0EvYRD4?t=1099

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

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Burbin said:

Since no one has brought it up, what about trimming the line “Dark science, cloning, secrets only the Sith knew.

It’s so dumb considering there was an entire war named after clones with no direct relation to the Sith.

I don’t think that he’s saying ‘only the sith knew how to clone people’, I think he’s including that on a list of things. IE, Dark Science + Cloning + Secrets only the Sith knew, rather than as a descriptor.

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nl0428 said:

Also, I know that you’ll be making two versions to please both sides of Rey’s lineage (like you did with Padmé’s fate in your edit of Episode III), but just curious which you’d prefer overall for the story, Hal? I prefer her to be a nobody than be Palpatine’s granddaughter.

I think Rey Palpatine is dumb, and would much rather they had just continued what TLJ solidified about where she came from.

However, this film of which I am working on a fan edit was built with her being a Palpatine in mind, so I need to be mindful of that. Plus, as I interact with Star Wars more broadly, I don’t enjoy giving my heterodox version of the saga more incompatibilities. To be able to still chew on “the story that we got.”

My stance on revising fan edits.

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Hal 9000 said:

Burbin said:

Since no one has brought it up, what about trimming the line “Dark science, cloning, secrets only the Sith knew.

It’s so dumb considering there was an entire war named after clones with no direct relation to the Sith.

Well, it’s nice to have an onscreen reference to the possibility of Palpatine being a clone. For lack of any other way to make that more solid of an idea, I’d be reluctant to remove it.

I was thinking of maybe only trimming the second part since cloning isn’t a Sith secret.

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idir_hh said:

Hal 9000 said:
And as cool of an idea as it is, Palpatine’s microphone reading of “more than a clone, less than a man” just seems to different to fit in.

Maybe some of the audio wizards here could work on it?
Here’s the source: https://youtu.be/orSF0EvYRD4?t=1099

I’ve been meaning to do more work on it, but here’s a cleaner version. If used, it could probably use a just a hint of reverb and some bass boosting.

https://vocaroo.com/krCqQTl0X9j