The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released) — Page 151

Making my way through the work print during my lunch break. A few things I’ve noticed so far that I believe could be tweaked. Some have already been mentioned:

• I’m an advocate of the “Mustafar Minute” being added I the beginning if possible

• Perhaps the removal of Palaptine’s “Kill the girl” line. His plans for Kylo and Rey are somewhat muddled in this film

• Removal of Klaud (could someone just put a digital door in the background in the cockpit to paint him out)

• I could go either way with Boolio being dubbed over in an alien language

• Perhaps the removal of the light speed skipping combo

• Please remove the stormtrooper convo about the knights of Ren (at least the secondary troopers reply back)

• Please remove “they fly now”

• Please remove the flashlight gag or at least the sound when Poe activated it

• I’m down for the trimming of Kylo’s tie fighter exploding

• If we could make a shot of ochi’s ship leaving the planet after the transport explosion that be awesome; seems like Kylo would pursue Rey woo unless she was a further distance away

• I’d cut “I’d like to see your brains in the show”

• I’d probably add some Knights of Ren dialogue as suggested

That’s it for now; overall I really am enjoying it. Just think we could trim some of the minor fat still left

DZ-330 said:

• If possible, try to create a shot of the heroes escaping Passana on Ochie’s ship. It is very abrupt how the next scene is just them randomly in space somehwere when there was a swarm of TIEs

Something like this?

https://vimeo.com/430068518
pw: fanedit

You might want to adjust the music, although the way it drops out felt kind of interesting to me. There’s also a bit of suspension of disbelief with a time jump between shots and going to hyperspace so quickly. We could leave out the hyperspace jump.

Also, fwiw, I like that the Kylo/Rey duel has no music. It feels raw that way, driven by the performances and tension between the actors. And the sounds of the waves crashing provide a great soundscape. If music is used, I do like the edit posted a few weeks back (sorry I can’t remember who did it) incorporating pieces of Kylo and Rey’s themes. I think it should be music that’s personal and relates to these characters.

I also agree with the slight reordering of the opening scenes to break up the Ajan Kloss material! It improves the pacing greatly by making it feel like time is passing, and flows more naturally from the dialogue.

poppasketti said:

Man you always outdo youself ^^

I guess the engine sound effects are just a placeholder, right?

I finished watching a few TROS fan edits and it was a pleasure to watch all the technical skill. The Jedi force ghosts appearing at the finale and helping Rey defeat Palpatine was quite a marvel. And I really enjoyed HAL9000 putting the chess match at the end. Here are some notes I’d like to add in general that I think would improve a TROS fan edit.

• I think Leia should be removed from the story entirely. It’s unfortunate, but TFA unused footage of her makes her come off as an automaton reducing her presence in the film as artificial. Mentioning her death in the opening crawl would be the best work around. You’d have to cut out the “we had each other” scene between Poe and Lando or re-create something where Poe is looking at a picture of Leia in order to keep the scene. You can still keep the flashback training with Luke and her force ghost appearance with Luke at the very end. Removing Leia does affect Kylo’s “transformation” at the end of the second act. But, I think Rey healing him and the Han scene might be enough.

• I think Chewbacca’s fake-out death is problematic on many levels. I may be able to tolerate non-stop fetch quest macguffins, but not this. Faking his death came off contrived and manipulative. I’m for removing it. The edit is do-able. Cut from when Fin says “they got Chewy”. Remove Rey and Kylo force tugging the ship, etc. Cut in Kylo walking from his wrecked ship and Poe signaling approaching enemy ships. The scenes after that refer to Chewy’s death can be edited down as well (eg. cut Poe’s line “then Chewy’s died for nothing”). But, the scene between Finn and Rey about seeing her on the Sith thrown with Kylo will be hard to edit down and keep.

Since there is little to no thematic relevance to these scenes, I think removing them helps streamline the narrative. Keep the story focused on the hero’s journey of both Rey and Kylo and them converging towards a confrontation with Palpatine.

Also, I prefer no kiss and no “Rey Skywalker”. And if I had my way, I would put everyone at end. All four Skywalker ghosts on Tattooine looking upon Rey. Then Rey, Finn, Poe, Chewbacca, C3-PO, R2-D2 and BB-8 at the Tattooine sunset. J.J. gets his all-inclusive Star Wars finale.

Since no one has brought it up, what about trimming the line “Dark science, cloning, secrets only the Sith knew.”

It’s so dumb considering there was an entire war named after clones with no direct relation to the Sith.

Burbin said:

Since no one has brought it up, what about trimming the line “Dark science, cloning, secrets only the Sith knew.”

It’s so dumb considering there was an entire war named after clones with no direct relation to the Sith.

I don’t think that he’s saying ‘only the sith knew how to clone people’, I think he’s including that on a list of things. IE, Dark Science + Cloning + Secrets only the Sith knew, rather than as a descriptor.

Hal 9000 said:

Burbin said:

Since no one has brought it up, what about trimming the line “Dark science, cloning, secrets only the Sith knew.”

It’s so dumb considering there was an entire war named after clones with no direct relation to the Sith.

Well, it’s nice to have an onscreen reference to the possibility of Palpatine being a clone. For lack of any other way to make that more solid of an idea, I’d be reluctant to remove it.

I was thinking of maybe only trimming the second part since cloning isn’t a Sith secret.

idir_hh said:

Hal 9000 said:
And as cool of an idea as it is, Palpatine’s microphone reading of “more than a clone, less than a man” just seems to different to fit in.

Maybe some of the audio wizards here could work on it?
Here’s the source: https://youtu.be/orSF0EvYRD4?t=1099

I’ve been meaning to do more work on it, but here’s a cleaner version. If used, it could probably use a just a hint of reverb and some bass boosting.

https://vocaroo.com/krCqQTl0X9j