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TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released) — Page 87

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I think the second one is a bit more natural. It would be great if there was a “so” line from Snoke that was a little bit more “intense”, it would fit with Hux’s twitch. But that is just a minor thing and I do think the second one feels more natural than the first one.

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

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 (Edited)

They sound about the same to me. As far as shots, what if you put the shot of Hux over “-will rise” instead of during the gap inbetween his two sentences? That may not work because you may need a natural break between the sentences, but Snoke’s face coming out from the darkness feels odd, considering it no longer works as a face reveal in this version of the scene.

Or swap the reactions. Have Hux flinch at “the new Jedi will rise”, then use his stoic expression for, “So…” Hux flinching at the idea of the Jedi returning rather than Hux flinching at “So…” It made sense when Snoke stood and shouted “GENERAL!”, but his reaction doesn’t go with anything in this version, besides Snoke just standing up.

EDIT: OR… just cut the stoic Hux shot. Have it go like this: 1. Snoke CU - “Jedi will rise” 2. Hux flinches. 3. Snoke stands, “So…”. 4. Snoke CU “Our strategy must now change.”

It might make more sense to go from a wide to a CU without cutting to a reaction shot in the sequence of shots. Might be worth trying.

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Hal,

Finally watched your TFA Edit! Loved it! Love the new opening crawl! Gives you a good idea the state of the galaxy. Along with the deleted Leia scene you get even a better understanding of things. I really enjoy the placement of Star Killer destroying the New Republic during the climatic battle. Gives it way more emotional weight to the entire scene and movie.

I know why you deleted Kylo Ren saying Fins code name at the beginning of the film because you thought it was too on the nose, but I always liked that line because I felt like it foreshadowed Fins force sensitivity. Kylo could sense him during the battle. I always thought that’s the direction the film was going for even before Rise of Skywalker. I think TLJ kind of ditched that Ark for Fin.

Thoughts?

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 (Edited)

I’ve watched RoS and considering all the implications I’m back to check your edit status 😃
I have v3 but the jdownload file on fanedit for v3 seems broken, can you PM me?

“This cannot be! Is… Is it an omen?”

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For me what is quite noticable is Snoke’s lips are moving while he’s not saying anything. During Hux “support the resistance” line.

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RogueLeader said:

They sound about the same to me. As far as shots, what if you put the shot of Hux over “-will rise” instead of during the gap inbetween his two sentences? That may

Or swap the reactions. Have Hux flinch at “the new Jedi will rise”, then use his stoic expression for, “So…” Hux flinching at the idea of the Jedi returning rather than Hux flinching at “So…” It made sense when Snoke stood and shouted “GENERAL!”, but his reaction doesn’t go with anything in this version, besides Snoke just standing up.

Yes, swapping the order of those two half-shots of Hux works a bit better, as you describe. It’s now one shot split in half, with the second half played first.

EDIT: OR… just cut the stoic Hux shot. Have it go like this: 1. Snoke CU - “Jedi will rise” 2. Hux flinches. 3. Snoke stands, “So…”. 4. Snoke CU “Our strategy must now change.”

It might make more sense to go from a wide to a CU without cutting to a reaction shot in the sequence of shots. Might be worth trying.

Just mocked this up, and it doesn’t work. Going from Snoke standing straight to a close up on him does not feel right at all, video and audio-wise.

Llirael Moroth said:

For me what is quite noticable is Snoke’s lips are moving while he’s not saying anything. During Hux “support the resistance” line.

That sounds familiar. I bet it was brought up when we were doing V2 and at that time nothing better could be found. I will look again, though, but I wouldn’t count on it.

My stance on revising fan edits.

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Have you thought about reinstating the deleted scene of Kylo Ren on the Falcon? DigModiFication did a really good job adding it back in.

The name’s Lawson. Noah Lawson.

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Hal 9000 said:

Eh, it doesn’t really add anything IMHO.

I would argue that it helps make Kylo’s decision to kill his father more clouded. As he appears to be having memories of his father before he is tasked with taking him out.

The Skywalker Saga:
I · II · III · IV · V · VI · VII · VIII · IX
This is the way.

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Plus, it is a crooked reflection of the shot from behind of Han earlier in the movie that provides good symbolism showing how out of it Kylo really is.

The Skywalker Saga:
I · II · III · IV · V · VI · VII · VIII · IX
This is the way.

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DZ-330 said:

Hal 9000 said:

Eh, it doesn’t really add anything IMHO.

I would argue that it helps make Kylo’s decision to kill his father more clouded. As he appears to be having memories of his father before he is tasked with taking him out.

I agree.

The name’s Lawson. Noah Lawson.

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 (Edited)

Neverar’s style of TFA has a lot of visions, sounds, etc. with certain scenes, such as the Falcon scene you are mentioning.

However, Hal’s direction doesn’t go that route since it tries to follow more of the original movie’s direction of style. Hence, for this edit, it is not necessary since I doubt Hal would includes those audio clips (laughing, memories, etc.) to make the point that Kyle is a bit more “clouded” with his decision.

EDIT: Sorry Hal, I hope I didn’t overstep in anyway with that comment!

Also, earlier up regarding the timing of the Snoke/Hux moments, it sounds like on paper Rogue’s idea regarding the Hux flinch would be more logical with Snoke’s line regarding the Jedi.

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

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Slowing that shot down seems to work pretty well, so Snoke’s mouth doesn’t move when it shouldn’t. I… don’t know whether that was tried last time, but it looks okay to me now.

My stance on revising fan edits.

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Post a clip of that change?

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

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Do or do not, there is no try. 😉

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

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I like that a whole lot better!

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

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V4 is coming together and will be out soonish. Here’s the final list of changes, with new changes with an asterisk*:

As Finn mans the TIE fighter with Poe, trimmed firing upon fellow stormtroopers so soon after planning to escape. Now, he causes peripheral damage to prevent them from firing at him and takes aim at the command center. (Slightly shifted the placement of the film’s trademark Wilhelm scream in order to retain it.)

Removed Kylo Ren identifying Finn’s stormtrooper ID from memory.

*Made it appear that Finn woke from the TIE crash shortly after daybreak, with the dark effect gradually declining as the scene progresses. (Idea from NeverArGreat)

Added the Falcon jumping to hyperspace after leaving Jakku, then being ripped from hyperspace soon after, along with removing a now-out-of-place line from Finn about “get[ting] out of this system.” (FX by NeverarGreat)

*Removed Han’s somewhat kindly, “Come on outta there” to Finn and Rey while leaving the directional nod (thanks to NeverArGreat).

Removed Rey saving Finn from the rathtars, cutting from Finn’s line, “They look like that,” to Han and Chewie arriving at the door to the Falcon.

Removed General Hux from the first scene with Snoke, where he suggests using the weapon to destroy the Republic. (FX by Jackpumpkinhead to remove Hux walking offscreen during first shot)

Removed Finn’s comedic line about almost being killed several times by Chewie while tending to him on the Falcon (Mimicked DigModiFicaTion’s approach).

*Removed Han describing the need for Maz to help them get a ‘clean ship.’ It doesn’t add anything, and their motives are already clear enough. (Idea from NeverArGreat)

*Subtle rendition of the first part of the Emperor’s Theme has been added to the Imperial March as we see Vader’s shattered helmet (thanks to Sir Ridley).

*Added two lines from the Emperor during Rey’s Force vision to very gently hint toward the revelations within Episode IX.

*Repurposed excised footage from the rathtar sequence to depict Rey separated from Finn in her Force vision. (Thanks to NeverArGreat)

After Rey flees Maz’s castle after her Force vision, replaced the Hosnian system being destroyed in the sky with a Star Destroyer. Finn and Han now gaze up to see that the First Order has caught up with them, as they feared. Finn’s line to Han about the First Order has been changed, including a brief visual modification to his mouth. (FX by Sir Ridley and NeverarGreat)

*Reinstated Han shooting a stormtrooper while facing the other way, which had been removed in V3, due to its reference in Episode IX.

Throughout the battle at Maz’s castle, applied a slight sunset color correction to harmonize the sunset lighting present before and afterward.

*Audio from the trailer was used to add a sound effect to a TIE being shot down (turned out to be barely noticeable, but I did it anyway).

New deleted scene included of Leia discussing the Republic. The scene was originally intended for earlier in the film, and Leia’s prominent braid has been removed to match her scenes immediately prior and after. Audio has been redesigned to accompany a finished film, and the sequence retimed to accommodate it. (FX by Sir Ridley and NeverarGreat)

When Finn is introduced to Leia, removed mention of the Hosnian system’s destruction, though retained mention that Finn had worked on the base (thanks to FX work by NeverarGreat).

R2 now has a blinking light to indicate that he has begun searching for the map. (FX by NeverarGreat)

After Rey resists Kylo Ren’s mind probe, added the portion of the Snoke scene from earlier where General Hux suggests using the weapon to destroy the Republic. Kylo Ren’s face has been overlaid where his mask was for one shot, and a few shots from behind have had the back of his head replace his hood. (FX by Jackpumpkinhead and krlozdac)

*Fixed two continuity errors introduced by the restructuring: Snoke is now seen rising from his seat in a new context rather than suddenly appearing upright, and his mouth no longer moves in a shot in which he is silent. (Thanks to NeverArGreat for the former.)

Moved General Hux’s impassioned speech to after Kylo Ren overreacts to Rey’s escape from her cell.

After the speech, the nearby Sun beings to be drained, as Hux and the troops gaze upon the stream being sucked into the planet. (Recolored to yellow-orange, and reversed so as to appear to be going down into the ground)

During the briefing scene at the Resistance base, removed Leia identifying their base as the Starkiller’s next target, Threepio lamenting the prior loss of the Republic fleet, and well as mention that the First Order is charging the weapon “again.”

Cleaned up the smoke and debris around the Starkiller weapon exhaust when the X-Wings approach. (FX by NeverarGreat)

During a brief cutaway to the Resistance base as Han and Chewie infiltrate the oscillator, removed Threepio’s line, “It would take a miracle to save us now.”

Removed Finn’s comedic moment of misunderstanding Han’s head nod while searching for Rey (Mimicked DigModiFicaTion’s approach).

Immediately after Kylo Ren kills Han, the Starkiller fires and destroys the Hosnian system, as Leia senses it through the Force. (Some FX by Sir Ridley and NeverarGreat)

As Finn and Rey start to head outside the oscillator, cut to Snoke and Hux planning to destroy the Resistance. (FX by Sir Ridley)

First Order technician redubbed to state the weapon will be fully “re”-charged in 30 seconds. (Voice from AbramPT)

Chewie has been cropped out of a shot of him walking past Leia. (Crop and image enhancement by Sir Ridley)

Extended the shot of R2 waking up, to allow him to finish searching his backup data. (FX by NeverarGreat)

Color corrected Ach-to to bring it a little closer to the corresponding scene’s lighting and weather conditions in The Last Jedi.

*Added a few subtle porg sounds to the background, replacing two native bird sounds.

The final shot of the film has been stabilized. (FX by NeverarGreat)

My stance on revising fan edits.