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The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!) — Page 21

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NeverarGreat said:

Here’s a more polished version of the scene, with some improved transitions and an edit to the Hux/Snoke dialogue. The rearrangement of the Kylo/Snoke dialogue has been dialed back but still retains the main idea.

This looks good, although (personally) I think the “He means nothing to me” line is too confusing on its own.

I definitely wouldn’t say the earlier Snoke scenes were failures. I really liked how you ended one of them with Snoke calling Kyle Ren “Solo.”

“The Ziggy Edit” — A Conceptual Fanedit of Return of the Jedi

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Episode-VI-Return-of-the-Jedi-The-Ziggy-Edit/id/17844

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ziggyonice said:

NeverarGreat said:

Here’s a more polished version of the scene, with some improved transitions and an edit to the Hux/Snoke dialogue. The rearrangement of the Kylo/Snoke dialogue has been dialed back but still retains the main idea.

This looks good, although (personally) I think the “He means nothing to me” line is too confusing on its own.

I definitely wouldn’t say the earlier Snoke scenes were failures. I really liked how you ended one of them with Snoke calling Kyle Ren “Solo.”

Thanks, I also like that bit and might keep it in the 2nd Snoke scene.
‘He means nothing to me’ is intentionally confusing since we don’t know what it refers to yet. I’ll sit with it for a while in any case.

Speaking of Kylo and Han, I had an idea for their final confrontation that would hopefully give some more depth and emotion to the scene.

https://vimeo.com/319079063

Password: fanedit

Since I’m thinking about cutting a lot of the Han/Leia dialogue about Ben, I thought it might be good to include snippets here, where they essentially act as evidence in Kylo’s final test of his parents. I think Kylo’s twisted ‘Thank you’ is much more meaningful in this context.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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I tell you, I’m in LOVE with this edit…

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
Episode IV - THE HEIR OF SKYWALKER. Episode VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI RENEWED. DYAD IN THE FORCE (3-into-1 sequels).
PM me for links if interested.

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PM sent. Get to me whenever you can, i cant wait to see this👍

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Huh, I didn’t notice it in your first version, but that little “Force” sound you added when Han grabs the saber really helps sell it.

You can kinda still hear the background music in one of Leia’s lines, and it’d be nice if that “too much Vader” line could fade out more.

A few other things, it looks kinda weird to me how he opens his mouth. I guess it is meant to be like he is about to say something, but I might cut that a little shorter, because it feels slightly jarring to me. Maybe don’t have his mouth open so wide? Not really sure.

Also, I can think there should be a lot more space between the “Vader” line and Kylo stabbing him. I’m guessing it is meant to be like Kylo’s instant reaction, but I kind of think it would be nice to keep a little bit of that tension the original had, where we are just sitting there waiting for the worst to happen. So maybe a less of a gap between Han’s two lines. Let them be a little closer together. I also think you shouldn’t use that shot of their hands tightening on the saber until after the light disappears and Kylo starts doubting Han. Because from what I understand, what he first hears about Leia is positive, but then when he hears Han’s words, it is negative, so maybe after he hears Han’s first lines (or both) then you can cut to that shot. Just my two cents though. The way you have done the room darkening looks really good too by the way!

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LOVE this!

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
Episode IV - THE HEIR OF SKYWALKER. Episode VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI RENEWED. DYAD IN THE FORCE (3-into-1 sequels).
PM me for links if interested.

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RogueLeader said:

Huh, I didn’t notice it in your first version, but that little “Force” sound you added when Han grabs the saber really helps sell it.

You can kinda still hear the background music in one of Leia’s lines, and it’d be nice if that “too much Vader” line could fade out more.

Definitely something to clean up.

A few other things, it looks kinda weird to me how he opens his mouth. I guess it is meant to be like he is about to say something, but I might cut that a little shorter, because it feels slightly jarring to me. Maybe don’t have his mouth open so wide? Not really sure.

I struggled with this quite a bit. Cutting earlier felt weird since he isn’t too outwardly emotional, but as you say it’s weird anyway.

Also, I can think there should be a lot more space between the “Vader” line and Kylo stabbing him. I’m guessing it is meant to be like Kylo’s instant reaction, but I kind of think it would be nice to keep a little bit of that tension the original had, where we are just sitting there waiting for the worst to happen. So maybe a less of a gap between Han’s two lines. Let them be a little closer together. I also think you shouldn’t use that shot of their hands tightening on the saber until after the light disappears and Kylo starts doubting Han. Because from what I understand, what he first hears about Leia is positive, but then when he hears Han’s words, it is negative, so maybe after he hears Han’s first lines (or both) then you can cut to that shot. Just my two cents though. The way you have done the room darkening looks really good too by the way!

Thanks, I can certainly put the saber tightening shot later and see if that works, the main reason it’s there is because it keeps the focus on Kylo instead of cutting away to the sun.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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I’ve made some more progress on the edit over the past few days, mostly incremental progress and tightening up transitions but some actual new changes.

One change that has proven oddly difficult is removing BB-8’s mention of the Ileenium system. In the original, Han decides to go to Maz’s place because the Falcon is too easily tracked, yet they eventually take it to the Resistance base and to Luke’s island anyway. Removing our heroes’ knowledge of the Ileenium system also makes Han’s assistance necessary. But anyway, I’ve tried about everything and still can’t find a seamless way of skipping that information. Maybe it will require cutting the entire exchange.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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 (Edited)

So you would be losing those cute moments of BB-8 doing the head-turn between Rey and Finn, as well as the little lighter thumbs-up gag? I understand the logic behind this change, but I feel like those were moments that really sold the audience on BB-8 and would be a real shame to lose.

Also, why wouldn’t BB-8 know the location of the Resistance Base?

EDIT: Probably the idea with the least amount of changes would be to just make it that Han doesn’t want to take them to the Resistance himself. He can’t bare to see Leia again. So, he wants to take them to Maz and let it be someone else’s problem. So it isn’t because they don’t know where the Resistance Base is, or that the Falcon is a traceable ship, which makes it weird that they would take it to the Resistance Base. Instead, it is just Han’s own fear of facing Leia, facing what happened.

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Yeah, I did like four versions trying to keep the head turns and thumbs up, but none of them really worked without him eventually spilling the beans. In all the versions BB-8 knows the location of the base, but he refuses to give it to Rey or Finn.

https://vimeo.com/320440596

Password: fanedit

I suppose there might be room to keep the head turning when Rey says ‘I’ll drop you two at Ponema Terminal’, showing that BB-8 is torn on his decision, but ultimately it should go against every bit of his programming to give the location to someone who just lied to him about his identity as a Resistance fighter.

Your point about Han’s reticence is well taken, and I think that is part of why he doesn’t want to go there directly. But it seems extreme for him to endanger the galaxy just because he doesn’t want to face Leia.

Something that just occurred to me - if Han hadn’t suddenly appeared, Finn and Rey would have flown BB-8 to the Resistance without incident, Rey wouldn’t have been captured, Finn would have told the Resistance about the Starkiller before it destroyed the Hosnian system which would certainly have allowed for the Senate and fleet to be evacuated, the fleet could have bolstered the Resistance forces in taking out the Starkiller, and Han himself wouldn’t have died.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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Maybe Han doesn’t feel like finding Luke is as important as it seems to us and the Resistance. So to Han, taking a brief detour doesn’t feel like a big deal.

Haha, I never thought of that! It’s all Han’s fault!
That is easy to say, but it is still likely something else could have gone wrong before they made it to the Resistance. Someone else could have tracked the Falcon, or someone could have recognized them at Ponema Terminal, who knows?

And if you make it to where BB-8 chooses not to tell them, then it kinda becomes his fault that all of that happens instead of Han’s. Alternatively, you could make BB-8 not know, but you would think a Resistance astromech would know where the Resistance Base is.

Every option presents problems, but I think just having Han not want to face Leia raises the least amount of issues.

Also, it is kind of weird that Rey is just gonna drop them off at Ponema Terminal. Why not just take them all the way to the Base, then go back? If she is so concerned about getting BB-8 to the Resistance, why not make sure he gets there?

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RogueLeader said:

Maybe Han doesn’t feel like finding Luke is as important as it seems to us and the Resistance. So to Han, taking a brief detour doesn’t feel like a big deal.

Haha, I never thought of that! It’s all Han’s fault!
That is easy to say, but it is still likely something else could have gone wrong before they made it to the Resistance. Someone else could have tracked the Falcon, or someone could have recognized them at Ponema Terminal, who knows?

True, it was just a funny HISHE moment on my part. 😃

And if you make it to where BB-8 chooses not to tell them, then it kinda becomes his fault that all of that happens instead of Han’s. Alternatively, you could make BB-8 not know, but you would think a Resistance astromech would know where the Resistance Base is.

I’m willing to accept that BB-8 is hardwired to protect the Resistance even if it causes problems.

Every option presents problems, but I think just having Han not want to face Leia raises the least amount of issues.

I think that Han might have been able to get the intel from BB-8 due to his old Rebellion status but decides to go to Maz anyway. Later Maz declines his request and says that he should go, implying that she can provide the location, so I think that aspect of his character remains in either version. I also feel strongly that Han’s appearance should be in service to the plot of getting to the Resistance rather than being simply a detour, especially since we’re supposed to identify with him as a knowledgeable father figure as Rey does.

Also, it is kind of weird that Rey is just gonna drop them off at Ponema Terminal. Why not just take them all the way to the Base, then go back? If she is so concerned about getting BB-8 to the Resistance, why not make sure he gets there?

That line feels out of character for her, doesn’t it? She’s established to be so decent and promised that she would get him back, but then suddenly doesn’t after BB-8 bets everything on her. I think that line at least makes sense in the latest version.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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 (Edited)

I had two more thoughts about this.

I think a part of the reason Finn is desperate for BB-8 to tell them the base’s location is because if BB-8 doesn’t, then it hurts Finn’s credibility as a Resistance member. If BB-8 refuses to, and Finn also doesn’t know, then it raises a lot of questions for Rey, and we don’t have any other dialogue to rationalize that.

And with Han, yeah, he has a “dirty” ship and he apparently doesn’t want to risk the First Order tracing it to the Resistance Base, but after the battle there, when he sees Kylo take Rey, he probably assumes he took her because she saw the map. So, Han knows that they got what they were after without BB-8, so the First Order won’t be following them anymore.

I think the logic of this stuff can get pretty nitpicky when you put it under a microscope, but I think you can rationalize it just as much as you can tear it apart.

While I would agree that it makes the most sense for the story if they don’t know how to get there, and they need Han to help them with that, it just raises questions of why BB-8 doesn’t know if you just try to cut that scene, or why he just doesn’t plug in the coordinates without telling them if it was a security issue. But we never really get any dialogue to explain that so it would still be a little vague.

So, you could either cut the scene and just imply BB-8 doesn’t know, have BB-8 refuse to tell them, have it be because Han doesn’t want to take them himself, or just don’t change any dialogue and accept the assumptions I mentioned earlier.

EDIT: I do have to say, it does help that BB-8 says the location is “need-to-know”, and how it seems like Rey relents and basically says, “if you can’t tell me where your Base is, then I’ll just drop you off at Ponema terminal”. Which helps explain why she doesn’t take them all the way there. It could raise the question of why Finn doesn’t tell her and would that make Rey suspicious, but the scene moves pretty quick and Rey seems to accept that she just might not be allowed to know. So either Rey assumes that Finn isn’t allowed to tell her, or that Finn doesn’t know because he is a just field operative or something.

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RogueLeader said:

EDIT: I do have to say, it does help that BB-8 says the location is “need-to-know”, and how it seems like Rey relents and basically says, “if you can’t tell me where your Base is, then I’ll just drop you off at Ponema terminal”. Which helps explain why she doesn’t take them all the way there. It could raise the question of why Finn doesn’t tell her and would that make Rey suspicious, but the scene moves pretty quick and Rey seems to accept that she just might not be allowed to know. So either Rey assumes that Finn isn’t allowed to tell her, or that Finn doesn’t know because he is a just field operative or something.

That’s exactly what I was trying to convey with the edit.

A lot of what I am doing is super subjective and nitpicky, and even though I try to construct a logic for it the fact is that movies are a mire of subjective feelings and assumptions held together with music and goodwill. In the end the reasons for cutting or keeping a moment come down to the sum total of these feelings. For example, when my girlfriend and I first watched TFA we both immediately interpreted BB-8’s thumbs-up as a well-known rude gesture, and not because we weren’t sold on BB-8 but maybe because we were more invested in him than in anyone else in the scene. Personally, I wouldn’t react well if someone got in my face and admitted to lying to me, while simultaneously putting me on the spot to betray the trust of people for whom I care. Mission or no mission, that would get me defensive and angry, hence the interpretation of the rude gesture. I totally respect that this might not be the prevailing interpretation or even one that makes logical sense, but it’s the feeling that’s stayed with me and the deeper reason for this change.

And who knows, maybe later I’ll decide to keep the scene for one of the justifications you describe or for some other reason. My interpretation isn’t more valid than that of anyone else, hence the attempt at logic when making an edit to share with the community. 😃

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Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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Moving back to Acts 2/3, here’s a look at one way to integrate Kylo into the Starkiller charging sequence.

https://vimeo.com/321387158

Password: fanedit

The other change, removing mention of the Death Star during the briefing, is a work in progress but I think it already improves the scene.

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Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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Interesting. The little crossroads you put on the two star absorbing shots feels odd, so you think the flow was better with it?
Or was there not one and am I just crazy? Haha.

I think that does work for sure, maybe if the color of Kylo’s shot was a little more orange to match the sun’s plasma more. Personally, I always kind of saw Starkiller as Hux’s thing whole Kylo was always more focused on finding Luke, so I liked how these two objectives were kind of separated by their own goals/interests, but I think that edit does work.

I had to watch it three times before I realized you took the Death Star out! Pretty cool. You kind can still see the green outline of where it was removed, though. I would suggest trimming the shot as well to kind of make it all quicker. It just feels weird sitting there for a beat without anyone saying anything. Maybe Poe could still say, “This is Starkiller Base”. Even if that didn’t feel right, I think trimming that shot a little could help.

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 (Edited)

The transition felt abrupt without the crossfade to Kylo, but it’s not ideal.

I kind of like the longer pause as the Starkiller hologram appears. Having ‘This is Starkiller Base’ is strange because of the emphasis on ‘This’, implying the Death Star lines, and is why it’s been cut. What is weirdest to me right now is the lack of center channel sound, so something will need to go there like computer sounds and such. Also, simply cutting the beginning of the shot would mean losing the continuity of the holographic terrain.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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I went back through your proposed changes, NeverarGreat. The vast, vast majority seem wonderful - this will definitely become my archival version. I have a couple of questions about a few of your items:

  • Edit out Finn’s accidental activation of the Falcon’s game table. - I was going to advocate in favour of keeping this (nothing wrong with a cheeky easter egg so long as they’re not overdone), but then realised you are including it as part of Rey’s link with Kylo, which makes a lot of sense. So is the main reason you’re taking it out here just so you don’t repeat a shot? Or for the benefit of not putting a joke in that earlier scene for its tone? Or for using its lightness to contrast with the threat of Kylo overshadowing it in the interrogation? I don’t have an opinion either way, I’m just interested to know the thought process.

  • Re-score the in-universe music in Maz’s castle to something more in keeping with the Byzantine decoration. - This is the only one I have a strong objection to! I really love this song. Which is subjective, and perhaps you don’t, but I don’t feel like the song not matching the decor (in a fictional universe only borrowing from our own) is strong enough to justify the change, especially weighed against the quality of the song.

  • Kylo’s conversation with Snoke is bereft of Hux’s intrusion. Snoke does not learn the location of the Resistance Base in this film. - Sounds perfectly reasonable since this is using Hal’s edit as a foundation. Do you expect to need to do anything to TLJ (which AFAIK you don’t have plans to touch yet) in order to accommodate this? TESB didn’t need to explain ‘oh btw they’ve been found’, but again I’m just interested to know what if anything your plans are here.

  • Remove the final journey to Luke’s island. This material is instead repurposed as the dream sequence preceding the interrogation. The final shot of the film is the Falcon jumping to Hyperspace. - Perfectly good suggestion (coupled with buying the start of TLJ more time for the acquisition of bombers, etc), but again, just interested to know what knock-on effect you think this might have. Do you foresee needing to amend the opening of TLJ to get Rey in front of Luke?

  • Edit: You also mentioned withholding the Poe reveal on Takodana. Will you still be showing as much as possible of those lovely water-skimming shots, but just be cutting the cuts to Poe’s face?

The Clone Wars: Refocused | Andor: Movie Omnibus

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NeverarGreat said:

RL, you had suggested a change to the restructure where Kylo senses Han, so here it is implemented:

https://vimeo.com/321409045

Password: fanedit

I decided to cut the preceding dialogue since it weirdly concerned only Rey and not the group of people Kylo knows are nearby.

Yeah, this works very well I think!

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EddieDean said:

I went back through your proposed changes, NeverarGreat. The vast, vast majority seem wonderful - this will definitely become my archival version. I have a couple of questions about a few of your items:

  • Edit out Finn’s accidental activation of the Falcon’s game table. - I was going to advocate in favour of keeping this (nothing wrong with a cheeky easter egg so long as they’re not overdone), but then realised you are including it as part of Rey’s link with Kylo, which makes a lot of sense. So is the main reason you’re taking it out here just so you don’t repeat a shot? Or for the benefit of not putting a joke in that earlier scene for its tone? Or for using its lightness to contrast with the threat of Kylo overshadowing it in the interrogation? I don’t have an opinion either way, I’m just interested to know the thought process.

The idea of reusing the shot was quite speculative, and since I’m finding other places to use the other shots which would have gone in such an interrogation sequence it probably won’t end up being used there. As for whether the table scene is cut, the most recent mockup is about the best I can do so at some point I’ll need to make a decision as to whether it will stay. My original reasoning for removing this moment was that it was one reference too far in a movie filled with references, and one that for me legitimately distracts from the scene.

  • Re-score the in-universe music in Maz’s castle to something more in keeping with the Byzantine decoration. - This is the only one I have a strong objection to! I really love this song. Which is subjective, and perhaps you don’t, but I don’t feel like the song not matching the decor (in a fictional universe only borrowing from our own) is strong enough to justify the change, especially weighed against the quality of the song.

I like a lot of Lin-Manuel’s music, from what I’ve heard anyway, but this song feels off to me, in the specific way that parts of JJ’s Star Wars aesthetic feels off. It’s difficult to describe exactly, but basically it’s a look and sound which is blunt, rounded off, obvious, in-your-face, etc. In contrast, the aesthetic of the OT was quite alien, with a lot of striking sounds and objects which nevertheless resisted obvious interpretation. This is one area in which The Last Jedi fares much better. But anyway, the song feels like a good fit for JJ’s aesthetic, but that’s why I have issues with it. I hope that made some sense.

  • Kylo’s conversation with Snoke is bereft of Hux’s intrusion. Snoke does not learn the location of the Resistance Base in this film. - Sounds perfectly reasonable since this is using Hal’s edit as a foundation. Do you expect to need to do anything to TLJ (which AFAIK you don’t have plans to touch yet) in order to accommodate this? TESB didn’t need to explain ‘oh btw they’ve been found’, but again I’m just interested to know what if anything your plans are here.

My plan right now is actually to have Hux appear in the second Snoke scene, but only so that Snoke can order the Republic destroyed. I intend to keep the Resistance base a secret from the First Order, and I’m not worried about how the FO eventually learns of its location. If I never get to editing TLJ, it can just be something that they figured out offscreen (unless I have some brilliant idea and end up changing the end of TFA even more).

  • Remove the final journey to Luke’s island. This material is instead repurposed as the dream sequence preceding the interrogation. The final shot of the film is the Falcon jumping to Hyperspace. - Perfectly good suggestion (coupled with buying the start of TLJ more time for the acquisition of bombers, etc), but again, just interested to know what knock-on effect you think this might have. Do you foresee needing to amend the opening of TLJ to get Rey in front of Luke?

As with the previous plan, I don’t think TLJ needs to be altered to show Rey landing on Luke’s planet or anything like that. It can just be assumed that she got there eventually, if I do end up nixing the ending of TFA. This is the part of the edit which is still very much in limbo right now.

After trying a lot of different approaches to a dream sequence on Jakku, I came to the conclusion that using actual footage of the island was a mistake. At this point in the story Rey should have little to no indication that she is Force sensitive. This has had ramifications for my plans later in the edit. The dream sequence of the island before the interrogation now feels odd because it comes largely out of nowhere, and since it happens right before the interrogation it would probably be fresh in Rey’s mind and Kylo would single it out more than he does already. After the interrogation there isn’t much room for any dream sequence, and only one time where Rey is knocked out. So who knows if the ending will change.

  • Edit: You also mentioned withholding the Poe reveal on Takodana. Will you still be showing as much as possible of those lovely water-skimming shots, but just be cutting the cuts to Poe’s face?

In the original cut, the water skimming is a single shot which has been cut to reveal Poe, so I’ll just be rejoining the original shot and leaving his reveal for after ‘That’s one hell of a pilot!’.

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Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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NeverarGreat said:

I like a lot of Lin-Manuel’s music, from what I’ve heard anyway, but this song feels off to me, in the specific way that parts of JJ’s Star Wars aesthetic feels off. It’s difficult to describe exactly, but basically it’s a look and sound which is blunt, rounded off, obvious, in-your-face, etc. In contrast, the aesthetic of the OT was quite alien, with a lot of striking sounds and objects which nevertheless resisted obvious interpretation. This is one area in which The Last Jedi fares much better. But anyway, the song feels like a good fit for JJ’s aesthetic, but that’s why I have issues with it. I hope that made some sense.

I know you mentioned using the other track Miranda wrote for the movie (“Dobra Doompa”) instead of “Jabba Flow”, but after listening to it again I do think it might fit that vibe you are going for. Maybe put it in there and give it a try, and this way you are still using Star Wars music, too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdAD9VZta3o