logo Sign In

The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!) — Page 19

Author
Time

Thank you both, Snooker I’m sure you know from experience how time consuming this is 😉

Time to put these elements in a video:

https://vimeo.com/315562483

Password: fanedit

The images aren’t animated yet of course, but I’d welcome critique on the overall concept. The formerly unused music cue from TFA ends a bit abruptly, so I’ll attempt to lengthen the cue in Audacity.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time

Hmm, I feel like this isn’t very helpful, but it doesn’t really feel dreamy enough. I dunno, maybe some distortion to the dream itself. I’m also not sure about the voice over used in the dream. You used Unkar dialogue from the deleted scene, right? That was a good idea actually!

I’m conflicted on it. A part of me feels like it is too long, but maybe it actually just is too short of a scene to put in between those two First Order scenes and kind of screws with the pacing. Didn’t you originally have an idea to have her dream about walking up the island and actually seeing Luke?

I really don’t know if I would prefer this or not, but what if the dream didn’t have VO and it was bits of pieces of the end of TFA, with some kind of added dreamy effect, like a edge blur vignette, or a regrade, or edited in a very disjointed, illogical way. Maybe quick flashes of different things, like very quick flashes of the books inside the tree, the cave, the Prime Jedi, even the tree burning. I mean very quick flashes.

If you don’t have her reaching Luke at the end of the film, and end it on her jumping to hyperspace, when we catch back up with Rey in TLJ, you could place the last scene of TFA here, but possibly recut to not feel like shots are completely repeated, and you could combine it with the first scene of Rey in TLJ. I did find a cool edit of the last TFA scene where they replaced the audio with ambience that could be a useful basis for some rescoring.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIVpbS18oJQ
Maybe you could try to regrade to make it appear night during the dream? That would help differentiate it.

With the previous “Reydream”, it just sort of feels like a tease, but that is okay because we move on from it quickly, it is just foreshadowing. As you have it now in “Reydream 2” it feels weird because we spend a lot of time on the dream but we don’t know what it means. But if we see a glimpse of the back of Luke, or a part of him, then the audience would kind of get why it is relevant, even though Rey won’t know who that is. It also allows the dream to be a bit longer and meaty, so the scene actually feels like a scene.

This is just some random thoughts though and I don’t even know if I would like it. What you have now is a solid basis for a short version, and maybe you could just try to experiment with that some more and find a vibe that works.

Also, wanted to share another video with you of someone who added flashes of visions to Luke standing over Ben. While I don’t know if that is really necessary, I like the way he quickly flashes to those other shots, in a quick, almost subliminal way, that I think would fit with the interrogation scene. It could with this dream sequence too. Sometimes I think brief flashes work better than staying on a shot for a long period of time, even if you wanted to use a longer shot, you could cut the shot up in a way where it zoom in, zoom out quickly and feel very disorienting. Just some random ideas though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XR-Jf0u6I0&t=81s

Author
Time

Amazing Idea!

But I think as of now it’s way too fast and too montagey. I think it could use a lot of work in terms of the music cues, pacing, tone, and transitions. But there is SOOO much potential!

This is just me but as an audience member I need to feel like this is Rey’s happy place. We need to really hear the waves and sounds of the island more. This is somewhere she has always dreamed of being. The total opposite of Jakku. Tonally it needs to really bring something to the edit, rather than just a montage of TLJ clips.

Also I’m definitly a fan of hearing Unkar Plutt’s voice, but I’m not so sure about Maz’s, I feel like it’s a little too out of place and ineffective. So excited for this scenes potential though.

IDEA: At the end of the movie when she arrives at Ach-To and shes staring at the waves, I feel the same music cues from whatever you use in this should re-appear in that scene as well.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

I made a version without the Maz voice but got some feedback before I posted it that the montage felt a bit empty. But I see what you mean, the voice feels a bit like it’s not totally personal to Rey. I agree that it should be immersive and peaceful, but also dreamlike and indistinct.

RL, I feel what you mean in that it’s too long to not give something substantial away but too short to effectively separate the two scenes on each side. I’ve considered using bits from the end of TFA and Luke, but I really like the idea that Luke is a bit of a red herring for Rey and that the Jedi Texts are what the Force is ‘intending’ that she acquire before some accident befalls the tree. I really want this scene to be substantial and to act as the definitive awakening that Snoke refers to later, maybe triggered by Rey’s proximity to Kylo and his dark visions. The main reason I didn’t use any of the TFA island footage however is that it is too clear and un-dreamlike, with Rey walking around in an entirely new outfit. I think the misty Jedi Tree really works, if there was more footage like that it would be great.

An early idea for the scene was for it to be entirely without music, just having the sounds of the ocean and island. But that proved to be really difficult since it’s an almost entirely emotional scene and without music feels like limbo. Maybe with a longer scene I could fit the first part of the Jedi Steps.

JEDIT: I think a good way to include Luke while still keeping the focus on the Jedi Tree is simply to use more of the tree scene from TLJ. It could start with the ocean, and maybe put some mist in front of the island at night. Continue the mist shot of the Jedi Tree, and venture inside to see the texts. Rey could make an appearance in her poncho since it could conceivably be covering her TFA costume, and end the scene with the shadowy figure of Luke in the doorway asking who she is. This would solidly link the tree to TFA and keep Luke as the red herring.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time

I think your idea to focus on the tree is a cool idea! It definitely make it feel more mysterious, and also make Luke mysterious as well.

Were you also going to have a second dream before Rey wakes up in the interrogation room?

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Earlier I was planning on having several dream sequences with one before the interrogation, but if this scene is going to be so substantial it might just use up all the available material. Which is fine, since I think a weakness of TFA (and TLJ) is scenes which cut too quickly. So at the moment, the plan is just this scene and the lightsaber visions (with some substantial differences). This one will show the peace of the light side of the Force and an escape from her fear, and the lightsaber visions force her to confront her fears and insecurities while also showing her the map to Luke. Then when she’s in the snow forest and taps into the Force, added audio would start with the peace of her dream but shift to the fear and anger exposed by the lightsaber visions, using this Dark Side power to defeat Kylo.

I was originally going to use the footage from Poe’s Interrogation in the Rey Interrogation scene so the audience could see how much the Starkiller means to Kylo in terms of completing Vader’s legacy or whatnot, but placing it early is probably better to establish the Starkiller threat, and if it’s juxtaposed with the island footage, the entire Rey interrogation would probably work better largely as it is, an exploration and connection of information we already know.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time

Here’s a version set to the Jedi Steps:

https://vimeo.com/315905664

Password: fanedit

The more I think about it, the more it seems like the Kylo and Hux bit at the end of the interrogation isn’t necessary. It might be more powerful to cut straight from Poe and the images of the map to BB-8 at Rey’s house. Then have some more voiceover of Rey’s troubles, using a more darkened shot of the wall of days. Ideally there would be some sort of dream imagery related to her years on Jakku before transitioning to the peaceful island, but I don’t know if that’s possible.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time

NeverarGreat said:

Here’s a version set to the Jedi Steps:

https://vimeo.com/315905664

Password: fanedit

The more I think about it, the more it seems like the Kylo and Hux bit at the end of the interrogation isn’t necessary. It might be more powerful to cut straight from Poe and the images of the map to BB-8 at Rey’s house. Then have some more voiceover of Rey’s troubles, using a more darkened shot of the wall of days. Ideally there would be some sort of dream imagery related to her years on Jakku before transitioning to the peaceful island, but I don’t know if that’s possible.

I like the sequence a lot better now. I still think maybe some sound effects could make it seem more dreamy lol

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Thanks, the dreamy effects will be added at some point along with the animated BB-8 and so forth.

Here is a version without the Hux and Kylo bit, to make it feel less jarring to have two vision scenes so close together - now they hopefully feel connected in a more thematic way.

https://vimeo.com/315971642

Password: fanedit

It might be better to have the final shot of the interrogation with BB-8 and cut to black, having just voices such as Unkar and Teedo and Rey arguing, then fade them out and fade in on the island.

Maybe I could use some of the closups from Luke’s hut to make it more relevant that Rey says ‘Luke’ at the end.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time

Okay, so Rey says “Luke” at the very end? I thought she was saying “Jakku” at first!

Author
Time
 (Edited)

I’m struggling to give very constructive feedback on this scene. I like the idea of it, but I’m still not 100% sold on it being able to work though.

Something I noticed you didn’t use in this version is Unkar Plutt dialogue. I didn’t like it at first, but I get why you used it, especially after going back to the Rey interrogation scene.
“You’re so lonely. At night, desperate to sleep.”

I think you could have a hard cut transition from the Poe interrogation scene to BB-8 outside Rey’s house. Then go into the AT-AT, to the various interior shots and hear echoes of Plutt that she’s imagining, but possibly also some alien jibberish like you suggested, like Teedo, maybe the junk cleaning alien, etc., but you can overlap them to the point that they’re really overwhelming to Rey and us, and then a hard black. Relief. After a beat, fade back onto a peaceful shot of the island.

I also feel this part really needs to feel more dreamy. The imagery could be quicker, more vague, weirder. I’m not sure. Maybe have just a few random shots of the island before you get to the foggy tree shot. I also kind of like using the shot of it panning to Luke in the threshold of the tree, but maybe you could speed up, and cut “Who are you?” line, and just as we get a glimpse of the figure, it hard cuts back to the ext. shot of the AT-AT. Almost like that figure made Rey wake up from the dream, and us too. Maybe a music swell could emphasize that quickly.

I also wonder if you could try it without the Jedi Steps, or possibly make the Jedi Steps a little less discernible, if that makes sense. Slow it down, possibly? It’d also be interesting if you could use the music from the point when she gets to the tree in TLJ. Although, it’d also be kind of be cool if it was just ambient sound, and then we could hear the Force whispers that she hears before she gets to the tree. If she had heard the whispers in her dreams, it would also help explain why she falls to her knees in surprise when she hears them again on Ach-To. It would also give the vibe that the Force is literally calling her to the island, to the tree. Maybe the whispers could be slowed down too if needed.

It is hard to say what really works for a dream sequence in Star Wars, since the only one we’ve really had is Anakin’s dream-vision of Padmé in Revenge of the Sith.

I do have to say I also think the digital zoom on the wide shot of the tree is a little too noticeable as well, I don’t know if that can be adjusted at all.

Also, not related to the dream, but I wonder if you could try quicker cuts for the Starkiller vision shots used in the interrogation, maybe matching closer in length to the later BB-8 map shots, at the longest. If the shots were quicker, more subliminal, I think the would have more of an impact, with quick intense spikes in the sound, with the crowd roar, the charge, the explosion, etc.
I also would suggest toning the music down a little because it is hard to hear Poe say “the Resistance will not be intimidated by you.”

EDIT: I could also picture hearing the ring and hum of a Tibetan meditation bowl during the island sequence. https://youtu.be/Nb3okem4OCk

Author
Time

Very good suggestions RL, thank you! As you say, the scene doesn’t really work yet, and maybe it’s better to only have the Kylo imagery and leave the Rey dream as simply sounds and voices overlaid on top of the shots from around Rey’s house. Maybe go back to the original concept of no music, and letting the sound effects tell the whole story. The imagery is provided later with Kylo’s description anyway.

As for the imagery in the interrogation, it might be interesting to try the distortion effect seen in the Anakin visions, since that’s canon for Star Wars. I tend to veer away from flashes and short cuts of action since it often feels distracting to me, but maybe it could work here.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time
 (Edited)

That is true, too. And at a minimal, you could just hear the sounds of the ocean, maybe they could drown out the overwhelming sounds of Plutt and Teedo.

I think it is just a matter of experimenting until you hit something that feels right.

Also, not as relevant, we’ve talked about this before, but I like the idea of the Force whispers guiding Rey to the tree. I kind of feel something like this could’ve also been used in TFA at one point or two, to help get the idea that the Force is actively pushing her onto this destiny, which would also help explain her resistance to accept it. I think it also would give another explanation for Rey’s quickly growing abilities. The Force literally will have awakened, and it almost becomes a character of its own. The Force voices could be unknown like the whispers, or elements of Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Qui-Gon dialogue could be used and distorted somewhat. But I also like the sound of the female voice used in TLJ, and if you kept it female you could argue that it is Rey’s “inner Force” as well.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Just some thoughts on this.

I’m going to echo most of RogueLeader’s opinion, particularly the comments about:

I think you could have a hard cut transition from the Poe interrogation scene to BB-8 outside Rey’s house. Then go into the AT-AT, to the various interior shots and hear echoes of Plutt that she’s imagining, but possibly also some alien jibberish like you suggested, like Teedo, maybe the junk cleaning alien, etc., but you can overlap them to the point that they’re really overwhelming to Rey and us, and then a hard black. Relief. After a beat, fade back onto a peaceful shot of the island.

Additionally, though, my biggest concern with this scene is that it is too on-the-nose. I’m afraid that it gives away too much about Rey’s character too early in the film. The great part about the daydream (“Reydream”) sequence was that it was so short and sweet. But the problem I feel about this version of her dream is that it’s too long and reveals too much too early.

Part of what makes TFA so great is that we don’t confirm that Rey is the successor to the Jedi until the very end of the film. There are hints, like the lightsaber flashback (“Forceback”), but nothing so direct about what her destiny is until the moment the lightsaber flies into her hands during the battle with Kylo Ren.

I’m all for the sequence, I just think it needs to be shorter, more dream-like / mysterious, and less obvious about what it means. I would also recommend not using “The Jedi Steps,” mainly because I feel like that is a theme that is reserved for Luke when this is a sequence less about him and more about the Force awakening in Rey.

Music wise, I’m not sure. Maybe you could play with something like the intro music to The Force Awakens trailer, which was composed by Williams. Or maybe the original teaser trailer music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhtOwVvQjIc

“The Ziggy Edit” — A Conceptual Fanedit of Return of the Jedi

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Episode-VI-Return-of-the-Jedi-The-Ziggy-Edit/id/17844

Author
Time
 (Edited)

The music is an unused cue originally intended for Hux’s Starkiller speech. I’m planning to use it in the scene where Phasma triggers the alarm, and along with where it is briefly used in the new Maz Castle sequence, it will essentially be the theme for the First Order.

JEDIT: I will try to make the dream scene work without music, but those are good choices if that plan would fail.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Concept: Go from BB-8 to interior, with Plutt and alien voices tormenting Rey, then pan over open book/scraps of parchment depicting her notes and pictures. Some contain crude depictions of Plutt and various nasty altercations with scribbled angry writing, but on a separate page is an image of an island, made with a great deal of care. The sounds shift to that of the ocean.

Actually, the paper could be bits of old Imperial propaganda posters or something that she found in the wrecks.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time

That definitely be a bit of work since you would need to generate totally new shots.

Honestly I agree with ziggy’s pov about Rey’s connection with the Force being something the slowly reveals itself over the course of the movie, and showing too much at the beginning of the film could go against that. It reminds me that I was initially kind of on the fence about the short Reydream sequence. Even though I liked it, I felt even that might be spelling it out too much for the audience.

Instead of drawings on paper, what if you flipped the shots of the wall that she marks days on, remove the markings, and in its place you could put drawings that she had carved into the wall. At the very minimum, you could have a crude drawing of the island. Maybe that could still be foreshadowing, but not necessarily a blatant sign that she has a strong connection to the Force.

Author
Time

I agree that it should be subtle, more than the daydream even as you said, which is why I thought the drawings would be a nice addition. It would also solve the issue of having the Plutt lines without any visual context, and give some concrete examples of her backstory. The goal would be for the island to be merely a mental escape for Rey in this scene, so if the Force whispers happen, they would need to be quite subtle so as not to make it too mysterious or magical.

As for generating a new shot, I think without any dynamic moving camera the shots will feel too static for an Abrams scene, so the drawings were a way to fix that. I don’t think it would actually be all that much more work than the drawings on the static metal since the images would have to be generated anyway, and the type of shot I’m imagining is something I’ve filmed before. A darkened corner with some bits and bobs and the drawings would be quite doable.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time

I sent you a PM in regards to my force awakens redux cut? BTW, you mentioned you found a link for my force awakens redux cut on a different site what site did you find it on?

“Bring My Shuttle!”