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The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!) — Page 18

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 (Edited)

Dr. Krogshöj said:

There’s only one thing that bothers me in the first act. Whatever sequence you end up with, Poe’s only waking up during the night following Rey’s and Finn’s escape with the Falcon. So he gets off Jakku, back to the Resistance and to Takodana while the Falcon flies from Han’s freighter near Jakku to Takodana. Which implies that it has a really, really, REALLY slow hypedrive at this point.

Poe’s hastily contrived survival has always bugged me, but there’s really not much I can think to do about that. On the other hand, I like to think that Finn’s escape from the First Order on Jakku had to do with fellow Stormtroopers looking the other way in their search.

In other news, I’ve played around with the idea of opening with Rey, and I’m quite satisfied with the fact that there’s simply no way to do that restructure with the available footage. Congratulations RL, you were right 😉. However, I just had to see the concept of the false starfield in action, so I put some time into the mockup:

https://vimeo.com/311822845

Password: fanedit

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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Wow, that is really cool. Could you imagine how blown people’s minds would have been with that kind of opening? I’m sure many hardcore fans would be mad about how nontraditional it is, but I feel like there is this metatextual substance there that you could interpret from it.

I get the infeasibility of it though. But, just to explore the idea, you could have it play out until the wide shot of the AT-AT, then hard cut to the actual opening starfield with the moons/planets (sunset to nighttime), and maybe add some nighttime ambience and extend that shot slightly to just let it sit there peacefully for a few seconds. Then quietly, the Star Destroyer is revealed and the movie could play out as is. The next time you wanted to cut back to Rey and Jakku, you could possibly have a brief montage sequence where we see her put junk on her speeder, drive to Niima Outpost, clean junk, get food from Unkar Plutt, go back home, but a mark on the wall (maybe with some vfx to make her mark the next space over), then sit outside with her food again. This whole thing would be 30 seconds or less, which each shot just being 1-3 seconds, just to get the idea across that she really does the same thing everyday. And as she is sitting there outside her AT-AT, she hears BB-8.

To help make that idea work, you could remove a shot or two from the initial montage so you won’t repeat it, or possibly flip a shot or two, maybe shift/remove the people that are walking home on the “Rey driving home shot” if yo reuse it, for example. Just do different things like that to make the shots feel different, and then you might also have to create new foley and just let the montage run without music.

I still think the theatrical cold open works better for the movie, sometimes you have to sacrifice cool for logic/pacing, but that alternate opening is really cool and the concept is fun to explore. I think your previous idea works better for your project still.

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I’ve tried several approaches, though none of them were quite what you propose. However, I think it’s best to let this stay hypothetical and move on to other ideas.

For example, I was thinking about how there really should be an introduction to the Starkiller threat early in the movie so the audience isn’t blindsided by it later on, and also considering how the Resistance seems to know about it (in Restructured V3 Poe will say ‘Finn’s familiar with the weapon system, he worked on the base’). So how does Poe know about it? I thought that it would be neat to show some brief clips from the Hosnian destruction scene in Kylo’s interrogation of Poe, keeping some original shots to make it clear that these visions or predictions are unique to Kylo and differ slightly from actual events:

https://vimeo.com/312200109

Password: fanedit

It will also serve to foreshadow the type of thing I will do in Rey’s interrogation scene, and establish how Kylo’s mind reading is a two way street even for non-Force users.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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Huh, that is interesting.

I always assumed, theatrical or Restructured, that the Resistance had heard rumors about a First Order weapon and had some indirect evidence, like the Resistance show might be setting up when Poe and Kaz go to a system with a missing star later this season. So they know something big was going on, but they had yet to find enough direct evidence to bring to the Republic. Probably similar to how Rogue One implies a similar thing with the Death Star. No evidence, but rumors. I personally think it isn’t a big issue, but I think this is an interesting idea.

It kind of makes me think of the first main Force Awakens trailer, when it shows Poe being interrogated and then cross fades into the shot of the trees being knocked down by the shockwave of Starkiller firing. It almost gives it that vibe that Poe is seeing that. You could also use that shot if you didn’t want to directly show the planets blowing up in the “vision”, or the shot of Kylo watching the laser pass by since that never happens in Restructured. I always thought that shot would be to cool if you could make it look like the Finalizer was in hyperspace with Kylo looking out the viewport for when they’re heading to Takodana.

But personally I don’t know how effective it would be to have repeat shots. Maybe if there was a way to distort them a little. Maybe a subtle Force sound effect when it shifts from scene to scene too. They could possibly be briefer than Poe’s own memories, to kind of imply that Kylo’s own thoughts are slipping through rather than being projected to Poe intentionally.

Also, I wonder if it would work to see a very brief shot of BB-8 in the end, even if it was slightly crossfading in over Poe’s face and the cataclysm, like Poe’s trying to hold it back but that crucial piece of info is starting to come through. Not sure how exactly that could work, but I feel like it would fit in with the purpose of the scene.

Also, I really like the shot of Lor San smiling. I don’t know, it just feels sad that this friendly old man has just died and we’re being reminded of it. I like it.

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It’s funny, I did originally have a shot of BB-8, and even played with form cutting to Starkiller, but both versions felt too obvious.

I see what you mean about the reused footage though. If only there were some more deleted materials to use. As it is, the only way to not reuse shots is to rely solely on visions from Kylo like the deleted weapon charging shot and the stormtrooper salute. Maybe it would work if it were implied that the mind reading is mostly projection used to wear down the victim.

And yes, the final shot of Poe was an intentional nod to the trailer 😉

JEDIT: Here’s the interrogation with minimal Poe flashbacks and almost all deleted material from Restructured:

https://vimeo.com/312240300

Password: fanedit

It might also be interesting to remove the Poe shots from earlier, and have them here instead so that there is a slight mystery for some people as to what he actually did with the plans.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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Holy shit. I’m really diggin that.
It makes sense to have the shots in that order. You kind of recontextualize the “The Resistance will not be intimidated by you” line in a way that feels even more relevant. Like Kylo is trying to break his will in order get to the truth.

Also, did you add Kylo saying “Agreed”? That’s genius. I mean you can argue it isn’t needed but I feel like that is appropriate with his attitude.

That BB-8 shot is the best one by far you could’ve used. And yeah, like you said, even though most people probably know that he gave it to BB-8, I think it would still work as a nice little reveal and make it to where you’re not reusing any shots.

I’m still not sure what would be the best way to present those images, if they should be briefer flashes, or if they should be distorted in some way, but I like the direction you’re going in.

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 (Edited)

The ‘Agreed’ is from the TFA Lego game. It’s not 100%, but works well enough I think and primes the audience to expect that the scene will play differently.

You’re right, there’s something still not working about the First Order imagery. If the goal is to make them an intimidation tactic by Kylo, then they need to be more personally relevant to Poe or have Kylo say something villainous about the Starkiller threat.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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Okay, I’ve added some distortion to the images, as well as some villainous dialogue implying that Kylo thinks these visions are from Vader.

https://vimeo.com/312342613

Password: fanedit

I didn’t plan on using so much of the music, but it’s just so good I couldn’t help it.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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NeverarGreat said:

Okay, I’ve added some distortion to the images, as well as some villainous dialogue implying that Kylo thinks these visions are from Vader.

https://vimeo.com/312342613

Password: fanedit

I didn’t plan on using so much of the music, but it’s just so good I couldn’t help it.

Hey Guys I’m very new to this thread! This edit looks fantastic. I know it’s a work in progress but has a full version been released yet? Also I had an idea about the Poe/Finn crash. I think the TIE Fighter falling towards the surface of Jakku’s hard cut to Phasma and the officer is an awful pacing decision as it is just way too fast. It bothers me every time I see the film and I would rather have a fade to black then immediately cut to Finn waking up. To me it just would be an all around better editing choice. Idk what do you guys think?

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Thank you!

The edit is in progress, and probably won’t be released for quite some time due to the number of edit’s I’m still working on.

As for the TIE crash, I can see your sequence working, but you’d have to lose the scene of the female officer informing Hux of the impending crash. I’m working on some ideas for that scene right now though, and it might be worth losing that bit.

JEDIT: Here’s a somewhat rough mockup of a much earlier concept - the First Order has visited the crash site before Finn wakes up and has left a probe droid behind:

https://vimeo.com/312448116

Password: fanedit

What it really needs is a decent establishing shot of the droid.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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NeverarGreat said:

Thank you!

The edit is in progress, and probably won’t be released for quite some time due to the number of edit’s I’m still working on.

As for the TIE crash, I can see your sequence working, but you’d have to lose the scene of the female officer informing Hux of the impending crash. I’m working on some ideas for that scene right now though, and it might be worth losing that bit.

JEDIT: Here’s a somewhat rough mockup of a much earlier concept - the First Order has visited the crash site before Finn wakes up and has left a probe droid behind:

https://vimeo.com/312448116

Password: fanedit

What it really needs is a decent establishing shot of the droid.

Force Awakens Restructured V3 is amazing. HAL 9000 gives you a TON of credit in the commentary. I just need to know, how did you get the time stamp off of the deleted scene with Leia!?

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SWOTFAN25 said:

NeverarGreat said:

Thank you!

The edit is in progress, and probably won’t be released for quite some time due to the number of edit’s I’m still working on.

As for the TIE crash, I can see your sequence working, but you’d have to lose the scene of the female officer informing Hux of the impending crash. I’m working on some ideas for that scene right now though, and it might be worth losing that bit.

JEDIT: Here’s a somewhat rough mockup of a much earlier concept - the First Order has visited the crash site before Finn wakes up and has left a probe droid behind:

https://vimeo.com/312448116

Password: fanedit

What it really needs is a decent establishing shot of the droid.

Force Awakens Restructured V3 is amazing. HAL 9000 gives you a TON of credit in the commentary. I just need to know, how did you get the time stamp off of the deleted scene with Leia!?

I removed the time stamp from the deleted scene where Leia talks to Snap Wexley and Korr Sella (NeverarGreat did a small part of it too) for TFA Restructured. I used Adobe After Effects to recreate the video hidden behind the time code piece by piece by using still images that were animated to move around and follow the background (and sometimes people and objects) that moved behind the time code. Some shots were easy with a simple background while others needed many layers of objects that had to be animated in various ways to recreate the hidden footage.

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Sir Ridley said:

SWOTFAN25 said:

NeverarGreat said:

Thank you!

The edit is in progress, and probably won’t be released for quite some time due to the number of edit’s I’m still working on.

As for the TIE crash, I can see your sequence working, but you’d have to lose the scene of the female officer informing Hux of the impending crash. I’m working on some ideas for that scene right now though, and it might be worth losing that bit.

JEDIT: Here’s a somewhat rough mockup of a much earlier concept - the First Order has visited the crash site before Finn wakes up and has left a probe droid behind:

https://vimeo.com/312448116

Password: fanedit

What it really needs is a decent establishing shot of the droid.

Force Awakens Restructured V3 is amazing. HAL 9000 gives you a TON of credit in the commentary. I just need to know, how did you get the time stamp off of the deleted scene with Leia!?

I removed the time stamp from the deleted scene where Leia talks to Snap Wexley and Korr Sella (NeverarGreat did a small part of it too) for TFA Restructured. I used Adobe After Effects to recreate the video hidden behind the time code piece by piece by using still images that were animated to move around and follow the background (and sometimes people and objects) that moved behind the time code. Some shots were easy with a simple background while others needed many layers of objects that had to be animated in various ways to recreate the hidden footage.

Extraordinary work, I should’ve double checked that it was you not Neverar lol

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SWOTFAN25 said:

Sir Ridley said:

SWOTFAN25 said:

NeverarGreat said:

Thank you!

The edit is in progress, and probably won’t be released for quite some time due to the number of edit’s I’m still working on.

As for the TIE crash, I can see your sequence working, but you’d have to lose the scene of the female officer informing Hux of the impending crash. I’m working on some ideas for that scene right now though, and it might be worth losing that bit.

JEDIT: Here’s a somewhat rough mockup of a much earlier concept - the First Order has visited the crash site before Finn wakes up and has left a probe droid behind:

https://vimeo.com/312448116

Password: fanedit

What it really needs is a decent establishing shot of the droid.

Force Awakens Restructured V3 is amazing. HAL 9000 gives you a TON of credit in the commentary. I just need to know, how did you get the time stamp off of the deleted scene with Leia!?

I removed the time stamp from the deleted scene where Leia talks to Snap Wexley and Korr Sella (NeverarGreat did a small part of it too) for TFA Restructured. I used Adobe After Effects to recreate the video hidden behind the time code piece by piece by using still images that were animated to move around and follow the background (and sometimes people and objects) that moved behind the time code. Some shots were easy with a simple background while others needed many layers of objects that had to be animated in various ways to recreate the hidden footage.

Extraordinary work, I should’ve double checked that it was you not Neverar lol

Thank you, Neverar did a lot of things as well so it could be hard to tell who did what.

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 (Edited)

SWOTFAN25 said:

Sir Ridley said:

SWOTFAN25 said:

NeverarGreat said:

Thank you!

The edit is in progress, and probably won’t be released for quite some time due to the number of edit’s I’m still working on.

As for the TIE crash, I can see your sequence working, but you’d have to lose the scene of the female officer informing Hux of the impending crash. I’m working on some ideas for that scene right now though, and it might be worth losing that bit.

JEDIT: Here’s a somewhat rough mockup of a much earlier concept - the First Order has visited the crash site before Finn wakes up and has left a probe droid behind:

https://vimeo.com/312448116

Password: fanedit

What it really needs is a decent establishing shot of the droid.

Force Awakens Restructured V3 is amazing. HAL 9000 gives you a TON of credit in the commentary. I just need to know, how did you get the time stamp off of the deleted scene with Leia!?

I removed the time stamp from the deleted scene where Leia talks to Snap Wexley and Korr Sella (NeverarGreat did a small part of it too) for TFA Restructured. I used Adobe After Effects to recreate the video hidden behind the time code piece by piece by using still images that were animated to move around and follow the background (and sometimes people and objects) that moved behind the time code. Some shots were easy with a simple background while others needed many layers of objects that had to be animated in various ways to recreate the hidden footage.

Extraordinary work, I should’ve double checked that it was you not Neverar lol

If you want to see the process I used for removing the timestamp from one shot (which was quite similar to Ridley’s approach on the rest of the scene), I posted a little walkthrough here (page 7 of this thread):

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Force-Awakens-The-Starlight-Project/id/54912/page/7#1147760

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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It just really puts a smile on my face seeing the creativity and passion behind this stuff. Its the complete opposite of the toxic fandom which basically rules most of the internet right now. Keep it up guys.

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Hal 9000 said:

Sir Ridley said:

Thank you, Neverar did a lot of things as well so it could be hard to tell who did what.

Indeed! It may have been me who misspoke, in the commentary itself. 😬

Ah, the sleep deprived commentary. 😉 No worries.

NeverarGreat said:

SWOTFAN25 said:

Sir Ridley said:

SWOTFAN25 said:

NeverarGreat said:

Thank you!

The edit is in progress, and probably won’t be released for quite some time due to the number of edit’s I’m still working on.

As for the TIE crash, I can see your sequence working, but you’d have to lose the scene of the female officer informing Hux of the impending crash. I’m working on some ideas for that scene right now though, and it might be worth losing that bit.

JEDIT: Here’s a somewhat rough mockup of a much earlier concept - the First Order has visited the crash site before Finn wakes up and has left a probe droid behind:

https://vimeo.com/312448116

Password: fanedit

What it really needs is a decent establishing shot of the droid.

Force Awakens Restructured V3 is amazing. HAL 9000 gives you a TON of credit in the commentary. I just need to know, how did you get the time stamp off of the deleted scene with Leia!?

I removed the time stamp from the deleted scene where Leia talks to Snap Wexley and Korr Sella (NeverarGreat did a small part of it too) for TFA Restructured. I used Adobe After Effects to recreate the video hidden behind the time code piece by piece by using still images that were animated to move around and follow the background (and sometimes people and objects) that moved behind the time code. Some shots were easy with a simple background while others needed many layers of objects that had to be animated in various ways to recreate the hidden footage.

Extraordinary work, I should’ve double checked that it was you not Neverar lol

If you want to see the process I used for removing the timestamp from one shot (which was quite similar to Ridley’s approach on the rest of the scene), I posted a little walkthrough here (page 7 of this thread):

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Force-Awakens-The-Starlight-Project/id/54912/page/7#1147760

Good walkthrough, this is basically how I did it too.

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I know you want to add some extra music to a lot of these scenes. There is a great YouTube channel I’ll link that posts unreleased John Williams music from the films specifically Episode III.

https://youtu.be/To-DNKYVESI

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 (Edited)

Going off of Rogue’s suggestion, I’ve shifted Kylo’s ‘I leave that to you’ from the end of the interrogation to the villager scene. I think it works, the interrogation definitely so by giving some more breathing room at the end of the scene before cutting to Rey.

JEDIT: Also tested the Village attack without seeing Poe give the map to BB-8, and it works really well without even messing with the audio, and since it allows the audience to fill in the blanks for this scene or wait until the interrogation later, I think it’s a good change. While I was at it, I also cropped and color corrected the flickering red saber light before Kylo strikes down Tekka. Here’s the entire thing from the village attack to the interrogation:

https://vimeo.com/313617492

Password: fanedit

The one thing I’m not sure about is whether or not to show the destruction of Poe’s X-wing and BB-8 in the desert. On the one hand it’s some nice imagery and provides some buffer between scenes, on the other hand it broadcasts Poe’s plan while the point is to preserve some ambiguity.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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After sitting with the previous restructuring for a while, I feel like it’s too much ‘A’ plot exposition to put the intimidation scene right after the Finn/Phasma confrontation. The trouble is, there’s really nowhere else to put the intimidation scene. I tried to place it right after Rey finds BB-8 and follow it directly with the escape, but it also feels too abrupt. The scene has become extremely dramatic in its current form and giving insufficient space on either side really compromises the gravity of the Starkiller visions.

I eventually made a place for it however, by breaking one of the rules. It’s now between Rey’s dinner and finding BB-8, which means that the Stormtrooper helmet transition from Finn to Rey is preserved, and actually strengthened by a pilot’s helmet transition on the other end, allowing Rey to be the symbolic link between Finn and Poe.

https://vimeo.com/313739936

Password: fanedit

Some color correction was required in the second half of Rey’s evening to make it feel like more time has passed.
There’s the issue of cutting away from Rey’s story before she is officially linked to the plot, but I think an audience would be sufficiently on board with Rey’s story to be intrigued by where it is headed.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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Although the scene placement sort of works where it is, it’s not nearly ideal, so I’ve been thinking about a scene which could separate the interrogation and rescue, and have an idea. It would need to be constructed entirely from bits and pieces of TFA and TLJ, but it would essentially be a better version of the Reydream and reveal the night they spent before the action starts in earnest:

The Starlight

JEDIT: Since it’s going to use hand-animated elements for the exterior shots, I can actually use set photos:

Feet

Original (Rey painted out):

Feet

After such a scene, it might be cool to play with the Finalizer hallway lighting to make it seem like Finn is rescuing Poe during the night shift.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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Jesus, how you managed to turn those shots into night shots blows my mind.