logo Sign In

A Collaborative Star Wars Saga Edit — Page 6

Author
Time
 (Edited)

jarbear said:

Yep that is an improvement. I think what sticks out is the moTHER part of it. The reason is the word goes up, which makes a “jump” to the next word/ original face of “once thought…” So if there is a way it sounds more like “YOUR MOther once that…” I think that may help it. So maybe a source that goes down on sounds/quotes with “ther” or “er” maybe is what’s needed?

I hope that make sense?

I updated my post after a couple of minutes with a new version, does this apply to the version that is linked now? Because it goes up on “MO” and down on “ther” (MOther). I feel like he should emphasize that word. But I adjust the intonation digitally so it can be shifted around.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Sir Ridley said:

jarbear said:

Yep that is an improvement. I think what sticks out is the moTHER part of it. The reason is the word goes up, which makes a “jump” to the next word/ original face of “once thought…” So if there is a way it sounds more like “YOUR MOther once that…” I think that may help it. So maybe a source that goes down on sounds/quotes with “ther” or “er” maybe is what’s needed?

I hope that make sense?

I updated my post after a couple of minutes with a new version, does this apply to the version that is linked now? Because it goes up on “MO” and down on “ther” (MOther). I feel like he should emphasize that word. But I adjust the intonation digitally so it can be shifted around.

AH, I see! Yep, I downloaded the audio file prior to the updated post. That is a big improvement as well.

I am curious, if possible depending on the scene is to have a bit of a more gap between mother and once? I am not sure how possible that is with the original scene, but I think a bit of space between those two words would help polish it. Again, that depends on if it would be too hard to do with the scene adding a split second or so on the dialogue.

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

Author
Time

Sir Ridley said:

jarbear said:

Yep that is an improvement. I think what sticks out is the moTHER part of it. The reason is the word goes up, which makes a “jump” to the next word/ original face of “once thought…” So if there is a way it sounds more like “YOUR MOther once that…” I think that may help it. So maybe a source that goes down on sounds/quotes with “ther” or “er” maybe is what’s needed?

I hope that make sense?

I updated my post after a couple of minutes with a new version, does this apply to the version that is linked now? Because it goes up on “MO” and down on “ther” (MOther). I feel like he should emphasize that word. But I adjust the intonation digitally so it can be shifted around.

Can the word mother be slowed down at all?

Author
Time

I like the pacing much better, flows more natural for his character. The last thing would be polishing the Your Mother part to help match the original as close as possible. The Your Mother is still a bit too “clean” for a lack of better words.

It is shaping up REALLY GOOD Ridley!

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

Author
Time

That is sounding better and better with each version!

I see what Littleev87 says about “mother” being slowed down. I think the “your” is ok, but “mother” is said faster compared to all the other words.

My goodness Ridley, the things you can do!

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

Author
Time

The fact that any difference at all can be detected goes to show how much Vader’s voice was different than Jones’s normal narration. There’s often a richness in his narration that is lost in the voice of Vader, replaced instead with a more monotone menace.

Considering that, I think the replacement line is absolutely great.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time

It really is a testament to JEJ’s performance.

This newest version is really good, Ridley.
Do you guys think the “your” is okay? He says that word a lot in the Bible audiobooks, but he typically talks quickly. Or, we could find a clean version of Vader saying “your”. Maybe, “Perhaps you feel ‘you’re’ being treated unfairly?”

Author
Time

You’re could work, didn’t think of that one!

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

Author
Time

Haha, I’m so sorry Ridley. From now on, whenever someone says “your mother” in a sentence, you will have this line echo in your head for the rest of the day. The curse of the editor, having to listen to the same lines countless times.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

I’ve been re-listening to this last one a lot as well. Another thing that stands out is there needs to be more bass or something to the Your Mother part. When I stepped back and closed my eyes, I did notice the first 2 words were a bit more “empty.” So that, and on top of slowing down mother another slight bit … I think this will nail it!

For the mother part (again listening a lot) I think the “uh” sound needs to be lengthened, as well as the “er” at the end. I think there are sounds that can be used if that would help based on prior quotes if that helps.

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

Author
Time

The word “mother” still doesn’t sound right. Can you use a better instance of him saying it?

Author
Time
 (Edited)

RogueLeader said:

First of all, thanks for sharing your thoughts and these cuts. I’ll be adding a lot of these to the resources folder just in case we decide to use them, if you’re cool with that.

Yeah, that’s fine with me. If any of the cuts are useful I’d be happy to have them included.

EddieDean said:

I’ve taken a crack at a spreadsheet to record issues and their resultant scene fixes, for those who think there’s value there. Here’s a screenshot with the first example. Feedback welcome.

https://imgur.com/Ex3AfHZ
https://imgur.com/F4TbsPj

Having a spreadsheet for the project is an excellent idea, it’ll make keeping track of everything much easier.

Sir Ridley said:

Your mother once thought this should do:
https://mega.nz/#!bR0CUAgZ!8tXiiKI9PUpvmjG1VO3qkCUnFyiF5YaVewQ-oSBXAdw

That version of the line sounds great, it’d be interesting to hear it placed with the shot and see how well it fits.

RogueLeader said:

My view on the Sifo-Dyas thing is that he never gets mentioned again within the films, so within the movies we never really get an answer for it. I understand that it is meant to be a red herring, but is a red herring that is never even revealed as a red herring. So people left the theater wondering who Sifo-Dyas is and if more will be revealed about him in the next film, which we know never is. To me, this shows how murky the whole plot was in the first place, and it would just be simpler to make it where an anonymous person ordered this clone army for the Jedi Council and the Republic. It could technically still be Sifo-Dyas, we just don’t get that information (because we don’t need it). All we’ll know is that a man called Tyrannus hired Jango for this job. Obi-Wan never discovers the identity of Tyrannus, but the audience will by the end of the film when Dooku is revealed to be Tyrannus. Then the audience will know that the clone army is merely a part of Darth Sidious’ plot. I think Sifo-Dyas just makes it more complicated than it needs to be.

Ah you’re right, cutting Sifo-Dyas entirely is the far simpler option, and the reveal of Darth Tyranus fits well with that. I know Seciors cut ep2 in this way, the relevant scenes are: between Obi-Wan and the Kaminoan president, the dialogue between Obi-Wan and Jango (though Seciors also cuts the mention of Tyranus in this scene), and Obi-Wan’s holocall to Yoda and Mace. I think that’s all of them. Looks like Seciors had to splice some lines together, and the odd shot feels a bit truncated, but overall it works well. No point totally reinventing the edit.

RogueLeader said:

That’s an interesting view on Anakin using green in AOTC. I hadn’t really thought of it that way but I totally see where you’re coming from. What if the colors were swapped with him and Obi? He would still wield a green one when he dual wields.

I’d consider cutting the dual wielding part of the fight as well, as it’s quite brief and seems a bit pointless to me. That way we wouldn’t have to worry about fixing the colour of Obi-Wan’s lightsaber. It’s quite a minor point though.