logo Sign In

The Place to Go for Emotional Support — Page 85

Author
Time

Possessed said:

I’ve been in your shoes man. Get whatever closure you need, and cherish the memories, but get out of there. Trust me. The sooner you move on the sooner your can be happy with somebody that wants that with you and then the painful sad memories can turn into fond distant memories. Trust me.

I’ve been in this situation too, more times than I can count, and it never ends with the friendship intact as it was before.

Author
Time

I’ve been in this situation also, but it ended up with me and Dom getting married.

Author
Time

ray_afraid said:

Possessed said:

I’ve been in your shoes man. Get whatever closure you need, and cherish the memories, but get out of there. Trust me. The sooner you move on the sooner your can be happy with somebody that wants that with you and then the painful sad memories can turn into fond distant memories. Trust me.

yes yes yes

I agree with this.

Author
Time

TV’s Frink said:

I’ve been in this situation also, but it ended up with me and Dom getting married.

Which just goes to prove that moving on and cutting them out of your life really is the best for all involved.

In all serious, stay as way for as long as it takes for those feelings to subside. It’s a shit situation, I think we’ve all been there at some point or another. But there is more out there.

Author
Time

There’s other gay people here? Yay!

I seriously hope that everything goes well for you, and for everyone else on this board.

Author
Time

snooker said:

There’s other gay people here? Yay!

Bingowings too.

Best wishes coffee. We’ll always love you. 😃

Author
Time

Good luck, coffee. You’re almost to college. I don’t want to say everything will be better there, because nothing really changes unless you put the effort in, but your situation will certainly change and you’ll be freer to express yourself.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

suspiciouscoffee said:

In other news, I’ve suddenly fallen pretty hard for a guy. He’s probably straight, but even if he isn’t, any relationship I pursue with him would result in my execution and subsequent trip to hell. I continue to daydream nonetheless, and hope God has mercy on my soul whenever I do die.

What?

Okay, as a Christian myself, I don’t see having such feelings for, or a relationship with, a guy means you’re going to hell. Seriously. Many conservatives or evangelicals are really judgy about that, but they need to check themselves because the Bible says plenty about loving each other and not being quick to judge. Certainly it does say homosexuality is wrong, but it says a truckload of things are wrong—things that people do wrong all the time every single day. Which is why we need a Savior because we can’t fix it ourselves.

Sorry for my soapbox. But really, I don’t see you going to hell for that.

TV’s Frink said:

chyron just put a big Ric pic in your sig and be done with it.

Author
Time

chyron8472 said:

suspiciouscoffee said:

In other news, I’ve suddenly fallen pretty hard for a guy. He’s probably straight, but even if he isn’t, any relationship I pursue with him would result in my execution and subsequent trip to hell. I continue to daydream nonetheless, and hope God has mercy on my soul whenever I do die.

What?

Okay, as a Christian myself, I don’t see having such feelings for, or a relationship with, a guy means you’re going to hell. Seriously. Many conservatives or evangelicals are really judgy about that, but they need to check themselves because the Bible says plenty about loving each other and not being quick to judge. Certainly it does say homosexuality is wrong, but it says a truckload of things are wrong—things that people do wrong all the time every single day. Which is why we need a Savior because we can’t fix it ourselves.

Sorry for my soapbox. But really, I don’t see you going to hell for that.

Agreed.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Yeah, when I read John 3:16 about God’s love for the world, I don’t see anyone excluded in that passage.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

That, but also Christianity is not about religion. Religion is the adherence to following rules—God says do this, so you must do it. Christianity is not about that. It’s about having a relationship with God Himself. If you actually do desire a relationship with Him and you told Him so, He will not abandon you. That doesn’t mean you can generally do whatever you please, but it does mean that you’re His child and He will not disown you simply for loving someone of the same gender, regardless of whether or not it’s perceived as wrong.

Jesus himself berated and chastized the Pharisees for making up societal rules that caused a “religious” relationship with God to become moot. Because it’s not simply about following the rules.

TV’s Frink said:

chyron just put a big Ric pic in your sig and be done with it.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Hi fellas. Progress update. Last Wednesday I came back from the South of Englandshire. I hadn’t slept much for days worried how things would turn out. It’s quite a long journey back on the train 7ish hours so very tired. My now ex partner pressed me for details so I told him about the mental health problems and that I had to leave him if I were to get better. He was sober to start with was very apologetic. Got progressively drunk and tearful and asked me to stay and talked about leaving me his money in his will and feeling suicidal. I managed to steer him to his bedroom to sleep it off. The next day was my first day at work. When I got home my now ex was spending the night in Edinburgh with someone else. So I tried to cheer myself up by using social media.The silence got to me and the magnitude of what I had just done had got to me and I noticed something. The people I know on Twitter with a mental health background or training all had me on mute. Including people I considered friends. Real friends responded and a few random strangers but not these particular people who know what’s been going on. I felt very let down and humiliated. And I found myself looking at a packet of sedatives and thinking I could take half of one and sleep or take all of them and sleep. Thankfully those that did answer helped me decide the right course. But despite sedation I only got a couple of hours sleep. Next morning I had to go to work. I felt like a zombie. I had to take long bus journey and on the way I had a complete meltdown. Uncontrollable tears on a mostly full bus and nobody asked if I was okay. Just ignored. When the ex got home he decided that it would be for the best if he got an extension built to the house so I could have space. I reminded him that I was leaving. The next day I checked a couple of flats in Glasgow. I picked one and paid the holding fee. Letting a flat is much more complicated than it was so I need to get credit checks and references together. So I had to go through the weekend in the same house as my ex and the drinking resumed as did the shouting and the muttering of obscenities as he passed my bedroom door. As before help came not from the people I expected to help but from others. Fast forward to today. I called one of our volunteers at work to try and get some forms filled. She has bipolar disorder and I discovered she has been detained in hospital over Christmas and New year. So my first thought is to visit her. Then I think a card from everyone at the office would be a nice touch and might lift her spirits. So I get one and circulate it. And there is this one chap and he is umming and arring about signing the card because he doesn’t know her well. Bear in mind this is for a lady who gave the office a huge box of chocolates for Christmas with no stipulation as to who should or shouldn’t eat them. She’s got a known mental health problem and she’s in a mental health ward and the guy is our mental first aider and one of the people muting me knowing my problems. So I just felt really let down there. I got him to sign the thing under duress and went to visit her. She loved the card regardless she looked withdrawn and distant when I arrived and really perked up by the time I left. When I got home my ex was very helpful and supportive so that was better. TLDR I am single, I have a flat sorted. And I’m a bit wiser about who my friends are.

Author
Time

Man, I am so sorry all that is happening to you, Bingo. Yet with all that happening, you still were able to give your coworker a lift in spirits. wow. I really hope things get better for you, Bingo. I’ll be praying.

Author
Time

Best wishes to Bingo and coffee. You are both wonderful people, and i can tell that without knowing you very well yet. 😃

Author
Time
 (Edited)

[suspiciouscoffee said:
In other news, I’ve suddenly fallen pretty hard for a guy. He’s probably straight, but even if he isn’t, any relationship I pursue with him would result in my execution and subsequent trip to hell. I continue to daydream nonetheless, and hope God has mercy on my soul whenever I do die.

I wish you the best of luck because you never know, it might come to pass that he isn’t straight. It’s bloody awful falling for someone you suspect doesn’t feel the same way. Part of you wants to be optimistic and not be too hard on yourself but another part of you is just protecting you from humiliation and disappointnent
. My advice for what it’s worth is to be a great friend first and foremost. Never expect anything. And one day you will be astonished by someone who wants what you have to offer.

Author
Time

snooker said:

There’s other gay people here? Yay!

I seriously hope that everything goes well for you, and for everyone else on this board.

There’s alot of it about, whatever your it is 😃

Author
Time

Warbler said:

Man, I am so sorry all that is happening to you, Bingo. Yet with all that happening, you still were able to give your coworker a lift in spirits. wow. I really hope things get better for you, Bingo. I’ll be praying.

Thanks Warb. It’s nice to be included in your conversation with the infinite. It’s greatly appreciated. As are all the messages of support on this thread and a certain secret agent over on twitter (you know who you are).

Author
Time

Bingowings said:

[suspiciouscoffee said:
In other news, I’ve suddenly fallen pretty hard for a guy. He’s probably straight, but even if he isn’t, any relationship I pursue with him would result in my execution and subsequent trip to hell. I continue to daydream nonetheless, and hope God has mercy on my soul whenever I do die.

I wish you the best of luck because you never know, it might come to pass that he isn’t straight. It’s bloody awful falling for someone you suspect doesn’t feel the same way. Part of you wants to be optimistic and not be too hard on yourself but another part of you is just protecting you from humiliation and disappointment.
My advice for what it’s worth is to be a great friend first and foremost. Never expect anything. And one day you will be astonished by someone who wants what you have to offer.

I agree.

I wish you all the very best.