logo Sign In

TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released) — Page 52

Author
Time

I only caught wind of this project a few days ago and have immensely enjoyed watching you guys perfect this thing iteration after iteration. You’re all doing fantastic work.

I don’t know if you guys ever figured out a satisfactory solution for Finn noticing the Star Destroyer. But if not, have you considered adding in that thud like sound of a ship exiting hyperspace?

Forum Moderator
Author
Time

Hal 9000 said:

(I know my life will be radically different after my wife and I have our first child in February.)

I’d say for the Snoke scene, the only thing we’d need is to have the first shot, made to look like Hux is standing there rather than Ren. (If possible; I don’t know how you pull off graphical wizardry like this.)

Wow, congratulations! 😃

Sure, I’ll Hux it up.

NeverarGreat said:

I suggested at one point having some sort of sound effect (ANH Star Destroyer flyover?) but I don’t know what SirRidley’s cooking up for that.

I’m adding engine noises, but I’ll look into adding a hyperspace exit thump.

Author
Time

DominicCobb said:

NeverarGreat said:

Jump St version 2:
https://vimeo.com/245234854
Password: jump

Seems just about perfect to me.

I think the “falcon breaking down” noise could be a little louder as they drop out of hyperspace, I barely heard it as the ship moves away from the camera. I definitely like the idea though.

I also found the sudden cut after Finn asks whats wrong with it to be a bit jarring, dont know whether its worth allowing Rey to answer first and then cut to the falcon dropping from Hyperspace with the break down noise playing as it actually drops out, being the cause of it dropping from hyperspace?

.Val

Author
Time
 (Edited)

This was one of the most jarring transitions in the theatrical version as well, since Rey doesn’t answer in this scene. The new shot actually provides more of a buffer between scenes, which is why I put it there.

The other option of having it fall out of Hyperspace between Rey saying “Help me with this, quick!” and “What’s going on?” breaks the scene up even more.

I agree that there could be a louder breaking sound just as it exits hyperspace.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Sir Ridley said:

NeverarGreat said:

I suggested at one point having some sort of sound effect (ANH Star Destroyer flyover?) but I don’t know what SirRidley’s cooking up for that.

I’m adding engine noises, but I’ll look into adding a hyperspace exit thump.

If the Rey reaction is cut and we just see Finn’s, the rumble of the Star Destroyer overhead alone would work perfectly for getting his attention.

Forum Moderator
Author
Time
 (Edited)

It is indeed better, with a more epic and dramatic feeling. The mix is a little bit off but this is definitely a very good idea to use Dom’s suggestion here. And this solution is far better than using the Ackbar “still functional” scene.

So glad this awesome project is reaching its end 😃 ! (v2 was lauched this january !)

Author
Time

It doesn’t look like there’s a good way to use the preexisting music without it either drowning out the dialogue or being so quiet that the effect is lost.

I think the least noticeable edit would be to just use the Snoke theme and imagine that they’ve finished talking about the Republic.

https://vimeo.com/245572623
Password: snoke

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time

I actually feel like Hal’s first attempt with my idea was closer to it, on his second one the music was a bit drowned. I wouldn’t be afraid to raise the dialogue, rather than lower the music. As for Neverar, I think half the point (in my mind anyway) of the music change is that the “Snoke theme” kills the pacing and the mood. If anything I’d say we should be looking for ways to trim the scene down so it doesn’t feel like it wasn’t envisioned as part of the climax (which the Snoke music makes plainly obvious, I feel).

Author
Time

DominicCobb said:

If anything I’d say we should be looking for ways to trim the scene down so it doesn’t feel like it wasn’t envisioned as part of the climax (which the Snoke music makes plainly obvious, I feel).

That’s the real trick, though. This is actually the same problem I have with the Ewok celebration which ends ROTJ. The old music fit the scene but wasn’t ‘epic’ enough for that place in the film, whereas the new music fits that place but doesn’t fit the scene. The problem is the scene - it just doesn’t belong.

Is there any hope of still going the restructure angle?

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time

Well I don’t think I agree with that, still pretty certain this is the most efficient and effective solution.

Author
Time

DominicCobb said:

If anything I’d say we should be looking for ways to trim the scene down so it doesn’t feel like it wasn’t envisioned as part of the climax (which the Snoke music makes plainly obvious, I feel).

Instead of having Snoke say, “It is time” at the beginning, could we possibly swap it out with something like “Now, the Resistance must be destroyed before they reach Skywalker.” It would infer that Hux told him the success of the first attack, and I think he uses the word “now” in one of his scenes, I’ll have to double check where.

Or, cut that line entirely and have Hux start with, “Supreme Leader, we have tracked their reconnaissance ship to the Ileenium system.” Taking “Supreme Leader” from another scene.

Might be worth another attempt.

Author
Time

How about:
“Supreme leader, we have tracked their reconnaissance ship to the Ileenium system.”
“Good, then we will crush them once and for all. The resistance must be destroyed before they get to Skywalker. Prepare the weapon.”

Or shorter:
“Supreme leader, we have tracked their reconnaissance ship to the Ileenium system.”
“Good, then we will crush them before they get to Skywalker. Prepare the weapon.”

Author
Time

Sir Ridley said:

How about:
“Supreme leader, we have tracked their reconnaissance ship to the Ileenium system.”
“Good, then we will crush them once and for all. The resistance must be destroyed before they get to Skywalker. Prepare the weapon.”

Or shorter:
“Supreme leader, we have tracked their reconnaissance ship to the Ileenium system.”
“Good, then we will crush them before they get to Skywalker. Prepare the weapon.”

Even shorter:
“Supreme leader, we have tracked them to the Ileenium system.” [if “them” can be created]
“Good, then we will crush them before they get to Skywalker. Prepare the weapon.”

Author
Time

Might be good to keep a mention of the resistance for clarity.

“Good, then we will crush the resistance before they get to Skywalker. Prepare the weapon.”

Author
Time

Yeah you’re right, I forgot to keep a resistance mention to make it work. Any of the solutions you’ve posted is good anyway 😃

Author
Time

Sir Ridley said:

Might be good to keep a mention of the resistance for clarity.

“Good, then we will crush the resistance before they get to Skywalker. Prepare the weapon.”

That would do it. Keeps it concise and flows well.

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

Author
Time

FanTASTIC! That’s unbelievably flawless work. It’s almost a shame, since anyone who would break apart this edit to look for seams would never imagine the deleted scene was not originally supplied in full 5.1.

My stance on revising fan edits.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

NeverarGreat said:

This was one of the most jarring transitions in the theatrical version as well, since Rey doesn’t answer in this scene. The new shot actually provides more of a buffer between scenes, which is why I put it there.

The other option of having it fall out of Hyperspace between Rey saying “Help me with this, quick!” and “What’s going on?” breaks the scene up even more.

I agree that there could be a louder breaking sound just as it exits hyperspace.

Ah k, didn’t realise that’s how it is in the movie as well (obviously two viewings is not enough to remember such details 😛 ). It is an odd cut, I wonder if it’s a theatrical edit and she did actually originally reply.

I just rewatched your version 3 and didn’t find it as jarring this time through. Though it really seems as if their lines simply should have originally been flipped, with Finn saying “what’s going on!?” as the steam starts venting and then Rey saying “help me with this!”

.Val

Author
Time

Hal 9000 said:

FanTASTIC! That’s unbelievably flawless work. It’s almost a shame, since anyone who would break apart this edit to look for seams would never imagine the deleted scene was not originally supplied in full 5.1.

Haha, that’s true. Thank you.

I’m currently uploading the crawl as well as Maz’s Castle, my internet is a bit slow so I’ll let it upload overnight and then I can send the links tomorrow. And then I’ll see what I can do with the Snoke scene.