logo Sign In

TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released) — Page 45

Author
Time
Post link

NeverarGreat said:

Here’s a mockup of the scene without Rey’s running away lines:
https://vimeo.com/237337603
Password: rey

I tried to do something different with the cuts and music before her lines, but Ridley’s version is better in that regard. I think the line omissions could work though.

One thing I thought of after uploading - The shot where Rey sees the attack force is worse than superfluous, now that we see the Finalizer. It also makes no tactical sense for Rey to go back to the castle since she has no hope of outrunning fighters that are already overhead, and indeed we see the results of her tactical error directly afterward.

Instead, she could look up into a deceptively clear sky, alerted by the sound of distant TIE fighters. This would also be a callback to the similar situation on Jakku - an organic form of character growth. The Apocalypse Now TIES would tie (sorry) into this idea, and it would make sense to seek shelter in the castle.

It’s funny, how many problems (and solutions) can cascade from a gentle restructure.

I prefer not cutting those lines as I feel that it’s part of Rey’s character development that she still tries to flee and get back to Jakku at this point. Only when she sees the First Order attack, does she realise that she can’t just leave her friends.

And I also disagree about there being no sense in her running to the castle when she sees the TIEs overhead. Well, of course the logical decision for her to make in this situation would be to stay out of the fight and flee with BB-8 to protect him, but she sees that her friends are in danger, so she rushes to help them or to at least find them. That’s a perfectly fine reaction in this situation, just the same as someone rushing into a burning house to save a friend or something similar.

Author
Time
 (Edited)
Post link

I like it, although the audio transitions need to be a little bit smoother to make it work completely.

That being said:

The shot where Rey sees the attack force is worse than superfluous, now that we see the Finalizer. It also makes no tactical sense for Rey to go back to the castle since she has no hope of outrunning fighters that are already overhead, and indeed we see the results of her tactical error directly afterward.

I don’t agree: the shot is needed for various reasons:

  1. it’s a cool shot (in a somehow cheap looking movie, this kind of money shot is truly needed);
  2. Rey needs to know there is a great danger coming, because she cares for her friends, even though she doesn’t know if she can make a difference she’ll try (“I’m saying something nice about Rey, what have you done !?!”);
  3. the shot establishes the continuity between the characters and the current situation.

So, to sum up: leave this shot where it belongs 😉 !

Now, are we sure we leave “Those beasts!” untouched 😃

Author
Time
Post link

I agree in regards to this particular project that these things ought to be left alone, but do sincerely look forward to checking out NeverarGreat’s edit too.
I know all this FX work must be a gob and a half, but once I’ve got the crawl, Maz’s castle, and Leia deleted scene we can hopefully have this thing up ahead of TLJ’s release.
(Oooooh, that’s right, the new trailer should be later today!)

My stance on revising fan edits.

Author
Time
Post link

Yeah, I’d also like to have it done before TLJ, that should definitely be doable.

That trailer, just … wow. It’s a lot to process.

NeverarGreat said:
By the way Ridley, what music was used for the last part of the Maz’s Castle video?

The last part, inside with Maz, is using pieces from “I Can Fly Anything”.

Author
Time
Post link

Thanks!

Since changing our hero’s decisions is beyond the scope of the edit (and everyone seems to like it), I cordially retract my previous suggestions 😃

Since we remain locked into the Finalizer FX for V2, I’ve been thinking again about the general lack of panic at the castle (yeah, it’s still bothering me after 30 pages). But I think I may have a solution! Perhaps something for V3 anyway…

In the original, there’s very little exposition about Maz’s Castle. In fact, it’s not much different than the Cantina. However, from background sources we know that although Maz is a pirate there’s a strict no-violence policy, and from the film we know that it’s been there for 1000 years. From this information it makes sense that there’s at least an informal agreement among all factions of the galaxy that Maz’s castle is inviolate. It may even be a place of political asylum, more like Casablanca than the Cantina. The problem is that this isn’t communicated in the film.

There are a few shots in the deleted scenes of Finn talking to the aliens who would take him to the outer rim. Combining these with the section in the film, there may be enough to subtitle. Something like:

Finn: 'I heard you’re looking for some labor.'
Alien 1: 'Ah, running from trouble.'
Alien 2: 'Tell him.'
Finn: 'I was told you can get me to the outer rim.'
Alien 1: ‘Yes, but there’s no danger here.’

Or something more cryptic:

Finn: 'I heard you’re looking for some labor.'
Alien 1: 'If there’s anything you seek…'
Alien 2: '…So they say…'
Alien 1: '…Maz provides all you need.'
Finn: ‘I was told you can get me to the outer rim.’

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time
Post link

NeverarGreat said:

Thanks!

Since changing our hero’s decisions is beyond the scope of the edit (and everyone seems to like it), I cordially retract my previous suggestions 😃

Since we remain locked into the Finalizer FX for V2, I’ve been thinking again about the general lack of panic at the castle (yeah, it’s still bothering me after 30 pages). But I think I may have a solution! Perhaps something for V3 anyway…

In the original, there’s very little exposition about Maz’s Castle. In fact, it’s not much different than the Cantina. However, from background sources we know that although Maz is a pirate there’s a strict no-violence policy, and from the film we know that it’s been there for 1000 years. From this information it makes sense that there’s at least an informal agreement among all factions of the galaxy that Maz’s castle is inviolate. It may even be a place of political asylum, more like Casablanca than the Cantina. The problem is that this isn’t communicated in the film.

There are a few shots in the deleted scenes of Finn talking to the aliens who would take him to the outer rim. Combining these with the section in the film, there may be enough to subtitle. Something like:

Finn: 'I heard you’re looking for some labor.'
Alien 1: 'Ah, running from trouble.'
Alien 2: 'Tell him.'
Finn: 'I was told you can get me to the outer rim.'
Alien 1: ‘Yes, but there’s no danger here.’

Or something more cryptic:

Finn: 'I heard you’re looking for some labor.'
Alien 1: 'If there’s anything you seek…'
Alien 2: '…So they say…'
Alien 1: '…Maz provides all you need.'
Finn: ‘I was told you can get me to the outer rim.’

Great Idea. I like the comparison to Casablanca and that would give her castle a unique spin to make it different from the cantina.

Return of the Jedi: Remastered

Lord of the Rings: The Darth Rush Definitives

Author
Time
 (Edited)
Post link

That’s a nice idea. Personally I don’t think that exposition needs to be there, but using that deleted scene for such a thing is something to consider.

If the scene would be used to explain the lack of panic and the no-violence policy I think it would have to be stated more clearly than in your example dialogue, though.

Author
Time
Post link

Yeah, definitely a good idea, but

Sir Ridley said:

If the scene would be used to explain the lack of panic and the no-violence policy I think it would have to be stated more clearly than in your example dialogue, though.

I had this same thought as well.

Author
Time
Post link

I think both work well. Of the two choices I’d probably go with the one in the video.

Author
Time
Post link

If the point is to explain why people are hesitant to freak out when the star destroyer appears, the second is better. Hypothetically they both mean the same thing, but it wouldn’t necessarily play that way. When the First Order attacks and Finn isn’t safe there two minutes later, it’s a contradiction. The latter option makes it clearer that it’s a purposeful contradiction (the subtler option is tough when it’s such a brief exchange and moves so quickly to the next thing).

Author
Time
Post link

NeverarGreat said:

Here’s the mockup, with significantly streamlined subtitles: https://vimeo.com/238169635
Password: finn

Another even more blunt possibility is:
“I hear you’re looking for some labor.”
“Yes, but you need not fear the First Order here.”
“It’s neutral ground.”

Why not a clearer “The First Order would never come here” ?

Author
Time
 (Edited)
Post link

I tried a bunch of different things, but this seems to work best:

“You’d leave neutral ground?
Violence here…
…would be war”

https://vimeo.com/238205548
Password: finn

This gives some idea of how ‘normal’ denizens of the galaxy feel about this situation - the First Order isn’t officially at war with the Republic until this attack, and even then they don’t take action. Hopefully that is enough to show that something is very wrong with the Republic, and very right with the Resistance.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time
Post link

NeverarGreat said:

I tried a bunch of different things, but this seems to work best:

“You’d leave neutral ground?
Violence here…
…would be war”

https://vimeo.com/238205548
Password: finn

This gives some idea of how ‘normal’ denizens of the galaxy feel about this situation - the First Order isn’t officially at war with the Republic until this attack, and even then they don’t take action. Hopefully that is enough to show that something is very wrong with the Republic, and very right with the Resistance.

I like this.

Return of the Jedi: Remastered

Lord of the Rings: The Darth Rush Definitives

Author
Time
 (Edited)
Post link

Seconded. That seems perfect to me.

JEDIT: Possibly change “…would be war” to “…would mean war”? Seems slightly more natural to me.

Author
Time
Post link

Just as people like it, I am less than happy with it 😛
It feels a bit too technical a discussion for the normal patrons of the castle upon rewatch, and I’m actually having a hard time following it.

Here’s a version that is a bit less ambitious but hopefully better conveys the Neutral Ground aspect:

https://vimeo.com/238245573
Password: finn

The subtext remains the same - an attack on the castle is a declaration of war.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time
 (Edited)
Post link

Also good, but I’d change “more” to “better” (or similar) in this instance.

JEDIT: Or simply “You’d be safer here.”

Author
Time
Post link

I like the direction of this Neverar… very nice.

Also, Chainsaw brings up a good point. I think using the words “You’d be safer here” works really well. It conveys the neutral ground aspect of it without it being as “technical” combared to your previous sample.

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

Author
Time
Post link

Thanks for the input - here’s the new version:
https://vimeo.com/238707800
Password: finn

I changed the first line, and I’m pretty happy with the flow now.

“I heard you’re looking for some labor.”
“To evade this First Order?”
“I was told you can get me to the outer rim.”
“You’d be safer here.”
“Neutral Ground.”

I liked the dismissive tone in Leia’s deleted scene ‘They must take action against this First Order’, but since I changed that for a better line reading, here it’s reinstated in the pirate’s first line.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

Author
Time
 (Edited)
Post link

I recently watched DigMod’s Heir to the Force edit, and I liked the aspect of keeping Ren’s helmet on—and not outright saying who his father is—until the confrontation on the bridge. It made me somewhat wish there was a mashup between that edit and this one.

TV’s Frink said:

chyron just put a big Ric pic in your sig and be done with it.

Author
Time
Post link

chyron8472 said:

I recently watched DigMod’s Heir to the Force edit, and I liked the aspect of keeping Ren’s helmet on—and not outright saying who his father is—until the confrontation on the bridge. It made me somewhat wish there was a mashup between that edit and this one.

I REALLY don’t like this concept, so I’m glad this edit is not going to include it. No offense to Digimod’s work, he did it well, but I think it would be best left up to another editor to combine these change.

Author
Time
Post link

NeverarGreat said:

If the Interrogation scene of HTTF was improved through the use of a CGI mask (probably beyond the skill of all here), I’d be interested in seeing a combination edit. As it is, the prolonged reveal creates more problems than it solves.

Agreed. Still an outstanding effort on DigiMod’s part. Let us not forget about everything else in the edit which is superb! I made a mashup edit of just the regular version with most of Digimod’s edits except for the prolonged reveal and I like it quite a bit. Digimod is on a roll considering he has made what I consider my favorite versions of both Disney Star Wars films.

Return of the Jedi: Remastered

Lord of the Rings: The Darth Rush Definitives