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TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released) — Page 34

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DigMod said:

Click on the user’s name, then click "start a private topic"
You probably can just swap the file if you have the image you need.

OK! i have done it, i hope i will get answer soon.
But thanks!

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 (Edited)

Sir Ridley said:

Sure, I can render a clip! I takes a while, so it might be better to save it for later in case you decide to change the text again. But I might render it anyway, I’ll link it here if I do.

I think technically my version looks a bit closer to the original one (after all, they used After Effects for the TFA crawl). I closely matched things such as the blur on the text in the distance.

http://i.imgur.com/3KBqQuu.png

I changed the font of the title to match the crawls of VI and I-III but I might change it back to the original again (IV, V, VII) as they will probably keep that one going forward.

Hi i have started a private topic about your opening crawl because right now i am also making a fan film and i need good accurate Star Wars Crawl Template from After Effects.

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StarWarsFan Sweden said:

Hi i have started a private topic about your opening crawl because right now i am also making a fan film and i need good accurate Star Wars Crawl Template from After Effects.

Yes, ta det lugnt, jag kan skicka senare.

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Sir Ridley said:

Yes, ta det lugnt, jag kan skicka senare.

Ok which time can you send the project file to me. So i can know when i can check my email adress
And when your sending the project file to my email adress, the adress is out34w4@gmail.com

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StarWarsFan Sweden said:

Ok which time can you send the project file to me. So i can know when i can check my email adress
And when your sending the project file to my email adress, the adress is out34w4@gmail.com

Just be patient, maybe I can send it later today.

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Sir Ridley said:

Just be patient, maybe I can send it later today.

Hi can you send it now before its to late!
I do not want to cherish you, but I need it today

Thanks!

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 (Edited)

Wow! After just reading Williams blog that you linked Hal - DO IT and GOD SPEED!! (although I think you have finished this edit? I see it is on fanedit.org)

https://humaniterations.net/2016/03/26/how-to-fix-the-force-awakens/

For such a simple core change to the story, it makes a massive difference to the movie and sounds like it would be an incredible movie to watch in comparison to the theatrical release. While I did enjoy TFA, I already had issues with it even while watching it for the first time and started to elaborate as much as I walked away from the cinema. If this edit is indeed completed, I can’t wait to give it a watch 😃

.Valheru

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So just a quick bit of feedback after literally just watching your edit Hal. It was fantastic how it really improves the entire story and adds a lot more emotional impact to Han’s death and the fight afterwards between Kylo, Rey and Finn.

Strangely enough though I didn’t really seem to care all that much about the Hosnian system republic planets being destroyed as there is no footage or really any reference to them in any meaningful, impactful way earlier in the movie and having turned their back on the resistance it almost feels like a “I told you so” moment and there’s not a lot of sympathy despite the obvious (when you think about it) billions of people all dieing at the same time.

I think I found a slip up on your part, I can’t tell you the exact time stamp as was watching the VOBs via a VLC player playlist but it’s just after Han and the others disable the shields, the resistance has jumped in and start flying down towards the SKB, with the weapon port visible in the shot but not drawing the star in as it charges like it is in every other shot.

I also found the replacement effects at Maz’s temple a little underwhelming / unbelievable in regards to the Tie Fighter and landing craft animation. I think it would work much better just to show the Star Destroyer by itself sliding into view like Sir Ridley posted earlier in this thread. I think this example also had Finn’s audio fixed so he said “they’re here” instead of “they did it” which makes a lot more sense but still needs a tad more polishing to hide the change.

https://youtu.be/TqZeT7FN0c0

But otherwise excellent work and I thoroughly enjoyed your restructured version 😃

.Valheru

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 (Edited)

Most of the problems you observe have been addressed in version 2 😃

There is the problem of the Hosnian System falling off the map before it is destroyed, but any mention of it after the briefing scene would have to be completely manufactured. I’ve been thinking about how to make them into a sympathetic party, and the best I can think of is building a scene during the assault with various shots in the Resistance base:

Taslin Brance staring at a computer screen (seen in the deleted scenes)
"General, are you seeing this?"
Newly recorded dialogue of a Republic official saying something like "You have our full financial support, but it will take some time to scramble any ships to help you"
Voice of C-3PO (over Leia looking concerned): “Oh my, without the Republic Fleet we’re doomed!”

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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NeverarGreat said:

Most of the problems you observe have been addressed in version 2 😃

There is the problem of the Hosnian System falling off the map before it is destroyed, but any mention of it after the briefing scene would have to be completely manufactured. I’ve been thinking about how to make them into a sympathetic party, and the best I can think of is building a scene during the assault with various shots in the Resistance base:

Taslin Brance staring at a computer screen (seen in the deleted scenes)
"General, are you seeing this?"
Newly recorded dialogue of a Republic official saying something like "You have our full financial support, but it will take some time to scramble any ships to help you"
Voice of C-3PO (over Leia looking concerned): “Oh my, without the Republic Fleet we’re doomed!”

I like this idea +1

“You can’t polish a turd. But you can shape it to look like candy.”

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 (Edited)

I hate to be that EU guy, but Claudia Gray’s book Bloodline goes into a lot of detail about how corrupt and ineffectual the NR senate is and how Leia’s basically been cast out since the secret about her parentage was revealed. Half the senators secretly back the First Order and that’s why the Resistance had to be established as a rogue watchdog group in the first place. Normally I’d say create your own canon, but Rian Johnson apparently contributed some ideas regarding how the NR senate is portrayed in the book, and it supposedly ties into Episode VIII, so I’d be wary about portraying the NR this way if you want this edit to tie into the next movie.

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Octorox said:

I hate to be that EU guy, but Claudia Gray’s book Bloodline goes into a lot of detail about how corrupt and ineffectual the NR senate is and how Leia’s basically been cast out since the secret about her parentage was revealed. Half the senators secretly back the First Order and that’s why the Resistance had to be established as a rogue watchdog group in the first place.

I hope Lucas gets a credit for this 'cause it looks like a PT plot 😃

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I guess I should read Bloodlines then 😛

However, even if half the senators secretly support the First Order, the fact that they are trying to incinerate them and the planet around them should make them reconsider their allegiance. They might have been the ones making the Senate drag their feet on getting back to Leia, so what if the dialogue goes like this:

“There is strong opposition your request, General, but give the Senate more time and I’m sure we can get you your fleet.”

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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That would work 😃

Personally, I enjoyed the book quite a bit. I thought it did a much better job of the kind of “political drama” storyline that I think George was aiming for with the prequels. It was also nice to see some focus on Leia, since her role wasn’t that big in The Force Awakens and I think Claudia Gray captured the intelligence and fiery wit that Carrie always brought to the role. However, for the purposes of the edit a quick look at the New Republic article on Wookieepedia might suffice 😛

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 (Edited)

One issue with this extra scene is that if it is placed right before the Han/Kylo meetup, Leia should be telling them to evacuate the system immediately, since it’s too late for any backup to arrive in time. With that in mind, the official could head her off at the pass:

“This is Chancellor Lanever Villecham…”

“General, are you seeing this?”

“…I’m sorry General, but the Senate has decided to retain the fleet in case evacuations are deemed necessary.”

“Oh my, without the Republic Fleet we’re doomed!”

Any senator would do, but it might be neat to have the Chancellor of the New Republic speak before he’s incinerated.

JEDIT: Or perhaps, since we’re cutting several shots out of the Starkiller firing sequence, we could fill those gaps with the aforementioned receival of the Chancellor’s message. The sounds at the Resistance base could be muted and slowed down, as everyone listens to the last words from the Hosnian system. The speech could then overlap the shots of the system being destroyed, and be something particularly gut wrenching like ‘I have complete faith in your Resistance, and in you, your highness’.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)