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TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released) — Page 9

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I would definitely suggest to shift Rey’s vision to the scene where her mind is unlocked. The Luke/Vader TESB caméo for when she touches the saber is a great idea.

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Strongly disagree with both those things

reylo?

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But Rey learning the Jedi Mind trick out of nowhere you agree with that ?

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A random vision of Luke and Vader teaching her to use mindtricks doesn’t make any more sense to me either. I’d say it’d probably distract from the scene instead of improving it.

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Kexikus said:

A random vision of Luke and Vader teaching her to use mindtricks doesn’t make any more sense to me either. I’d say it’d probably distract from the scene instead of improving it.

Don’t worry I was slightly kidding 😃 Among TFA problems are for me these two particular scenes. Not sure they can really be improved. I guess it’s an internal issue that cannot be solved through fanediting. Let’s hope Episode 8 will “fix” it backwards.

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I, personally, think Luke and Vader in the Force vision makes more sense than Zuvio or the Knights of Ren in the vision. Talk about distracting… As viewers, we still have no idea what their relevance is to her tuning in to the Force via the saber. To me, they are just loose ends, which actually adversely affect the movie’s standalone value… but of course I understand how characters like Luke and/or Vader may take some attention away from the “main” character…

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I won’t be doing anything that radical with this simple, concentrated edit on the SKB restructuring. But, the finished edit could easily be used as source material for one that implements any of these other ideas.

My stance on revising fan edits.

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Hi, this is my first post on this forum! I’d just like to say that I’m a big fan of this fan edit, and I’m currently working on my own fan edit based on this one.

In regards to the “they’ve done it” scene, I’ve actually been able to change it into “they’ve found us” by editing together a few small bits of Boyega talking combined with a subtle mouth animation to better fit the new words. I will upload files for you later so you can take a look and perhaps implement it in your edit. 😃

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Sir Ridley said:

Hi, this is my first post on this forum! I’d just like to say that I’m a big fan of this fan edit, and I’m currently working on my own fan edit based on this one.

In regards to the “they’ve done it” scene, I’ve actually been able to change it into “they’ve found us” by editing together a few small bits of Boyega talking combined with a subtle mouth animation to better fit the new words. I will upload files for you later so you can take a look and perhaps implement it in your edit. 😃

That sounds pretty cool. You should upload a clip to YouTube and post it here, I’d sure love to see it. Also, sick profile picture 😉

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Hal 9000 said:

I won’t be doing anything that radical with this simple, concentrated edit on the SKB restructuring. But, the finished edit could easily be used as source material for one that implements any of these other ideas.

This sounds like what this edit should be. Restructuring the movie already requires enough work and it should have our full attention.

Return of the Jedi: Remastered

Lord of the Rings: The Darth Rush Definitives

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I was hoping some additional brilliant people would come out of the woodwork. I’m really looking forward to a V2 we can be very happy with.
It’d be awesome if there were some way to telegraph that SKB is designed to suck up its local star and just use its energy to target one or more targets. Like maybe it’s a one-shot thing, or one suck up and it can keep using small portions as it goes. That would work well with Finn’s description of it using “the Sun,” and the star that bursts out of it at the end from the remaining energy. This could be background murmuring at the Resistance base or on SKB. I haven’t come up with anything, but it’s another opportunity.

My stance on revising fan edits.

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There is definitely some confusion as to the capabilities of Starkiller. Since the Hosnian system isn’t destroyed early in the film, we aren’t shown that it can destroy something many systems away, and the first time we are made aware of this is apparently during Hux’s speech.

When we were watching this edit, we had a discussion about whether the Starkiller had any sort of propulsion system like the Death Star. Since I am familiar with the Corellian system in EU, I thought it was plausible that the Starkiller would be able to trundle up to any old star and use it as fuel for its hyperspace laser weapon, but this seemed absurd to certain other people. I don’t know how to deal with this problem, but I’ll keep thinking about it. 😃

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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Hal 9000 said:

Nah, the movie hasn’t been modified nearly enough to merit that. Not a bad idea, though, with the title motif.
The crawl will merely include a few descriptors for political background, like “…sinister FIRST ORDER has risen in secret from the ashes of the fractured Empire,” and, “Failing to convince the New Republic of this looming threat, General Leia Organa mobilizes a covert RESIATANCE to…”

Cool! I’m glad your using bits of what I had suggested. “mobilizes a covert RESISTANCE” sounds great too.

With Finn saying “They’ve done it.”, it honestly might take a group effort to make it work. Maybe starting from scratch, adding completely new foley, using a different score as others have suggest and then using reworked lines of Finn could really improve that whole sequence. There already seems to be several good ideas that could lead us in the right direction. It definitely gets me excited for V2 as well!

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So here’s my take on Finn’s line “They’ve done it”, redubbing it as “They’ve found us”, including animation on the mouth to make it bite together a bit on the “us” rather than the original open mouth “it”.

https://youtu.be/IVI_sDK6SXk

What do you think?

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^It might work well if the entire line was dubbed, but since it’s just a section, I can definitely hear the edit.

I’m not sure how to fix this scene. I’ve just finished a very rough animatic for the sort of thing I was imagining some pages earlier with the damaged spaceship, but I’m still not completely happy with the idea. I think there’s still too much being changed when the optimal answer would be something simple.

I don’t like the idea of Han and company seeing TIE fighters in the sky and ignoring them for another scene, nor do I particularly like introducing another spaceship only to have it be destroyed, since that entails a lot of effects work. Anyway, here’s the animatic if anyone is interested:

https://mega.nz/#!mRFzTLzT!_sU9oHbMQr9-ZzMKWXKflhCxF_biyI0K_xAsQhUOtIQ

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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NeverarGreat said:

^It might work well if the entire line was dubbed, but since it’s just a section, I can definitely hear the edit.

You’re harsh. It’s quite good. Maybe more cleaning of the “found us” and a better mix with the added Tie Figther sound fx would definitely do the trick.

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Thank you! I might be able to make it sound better, but I would need a better audio clip of Boyega saying something similar (the “ound” sound for “found”, especially). I found a clip where he said something about “five pound” that I used for this, but it was not ideal, so if anyone can find a better audio source I’d be happy.

It might also work better with a different musical cue, as some suggested. Any ideas about a part of the score which could be used here?

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Sir Ridley said:

So here’s my take on Finn’s line “They’ve done it”, redubbing it as “They’ve found us”, including animation on the mouth to make it bite together a bit on the “us” rather than the original open mouth “it”.

https://youtu.be/IVI_sDK6SXk

What do you think?

Really good results actually! That was the one slightly off part of the edit. If HAL 9000 agrees, could there be a V2 audio track with this little tweak?

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Well, there’s going to be an entire V2, with the solutions for given problems that seem best out of what we collectively come up with. If there’s something that can go two ways that’s audio only and doesn’t affect sync, an alternate audio track could be a thing.

My stance on revising fan edits.

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The Aluminum Falcon said:
Really good results actually! That was the one slightly off part of the edit. If HAL 9000 agrees, could there be a V2 audio track with this little tweak?

Yes, that was the idea. 😃 If he wants me to I’ll send him the necessary files for adding it (lip synced video, dialogue track).

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Sir Ridley said:

So here’s my take on Finn’s line “They’ve done it”, redubbing it as “They’ve found us”, including animation on the mouth to make it bite together a bit on the “us” rather than the original open mouth “it”.

https://youtu.be/IVI_sDK6SXk

What do you think?

It’s noticeably an edit but it’s done pretty well. Not quite there but definitely a start.

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Sir Ridley said:

Thank you! I might be able to make it sound better, but I would need a better audio clip of Boyega saying something similar (the “ound” sound for “found”, especially). I found a clip where he said something about “five pound” that I used for this, but it was not ideal, so if anyone can find a better audio source I’d be happy.

It might also work better with a different musical cue, as some suggested. Any ideas about a part of the score which could be used here?

I’d say it’s really good already. Maybe you can play around with the pitch or tempo to make it flow more naturally. Although I have no knowledge when it comes to audio editing so maybe what I just wrote makes no sense^^

For the score: I posted my idea some days ago but here it is again: I used “Kylo Ren Arrives at the Battle” from the awards consideration score for the music. First the part from approximately 0:15 to 0:27 for Finns solo scene and then 0:45 to 0:55 for the rest of the scene. Keep in mind that the album version of this track is different!

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Kexikus said:
I’d say it’s really good already. Maybe you can play around with the pitch or tempo to make it flow more naturally. Although I have no knowledge when it comes to audio editing so maybe what I just wrote makes no sense^^

For the score: I posted my idea some days ago but here it is again: I used “Kylo Ren Arrives at the Battle” from the awards consideration score for the music. First the part from approximately 0:15 to 0:27 for Finns solo scene and then 0:45 to 0:55 for the rest of the scene. Keep in mind that the album version of this track is different!

Thank you! I did play around with it a lot already, but I’ll see if I can improve it more. And I’ll try your score idea too, thanks!

Edit:
I made another FX shot. I expanded NeverarGreat’s smokeless Starkiller matte and removed the scorched planet surface around the opening.

https://youtu.be/tGXof4rOHbk