logo Sign In

Easily The Worst Star Wars Article Ever Written

Author
Time

Behold and wonder at the utter travesty!

Some highlights:

What endures for the critics and their lay associates, for aesthetes who live for the beauty and the pleasure of movies, is Lucas’s directing—of two films, “Attack of the Clones” and, especially, “Revenge of the Sith.” If Lucas had done nothing else in his life, he’d have an honored place in my personal pantheon for that work.

Hearing Williams’s compositions for “Star Wars” is like being ordered, loudly and aggressively, to feel, and to feel one thing. It sounds calculated to bludgeon a viewer into submission, to create a cowed unanimity of simple and narrow emotions that are the antithesis of imagination and fantasy.

If I had seen “Revenge of the Sith” in real time, in a theatre upon its release, in 2005, I think that, at the moment when Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid), sizzling in the blue lightning that Mace Windu (Samuel L. Jackson) reflects back at him, cries out to Anakin (Hayden Christensen), “Power! Unlimited Power!,” I would have leaped out of my seat yelling with excitement.

And before you ask, no, this is not satire.

Forum Moderator
Author
Time

he writes like he is 15. but doesn’t look like it!

Author
Time

In journalism, a hot take is a “piece of deliberately provocative commentary that is based almost entirely on shallow moralizing” in response to a news story, “usually written on tight deadlines with little research or reporting, and even less thought”.

source

This could be the hottest hot take in all of geek-ish journalism.

.

Author
Time

Nice to see Armond White still getting work.

Oh, wait, even he isn’t this “edgy”. This is just painful.

I’m just here because I’m driving tonight.

Author
Time

I’m not even going to read this as it seems like TFA will somehow be used against him even though he had nothing to do with the making the film. That completely discredits the writer of the article.

Author
Time

I read that article earlier this year. It’s pretty disturbing.

He describes Lucas’ scripts for Attack of the Clones and Return of the Sith as “Shakespearean”.

Author
Time

Hey look, he reviewed Rogue One!

http://www.newyorker.com/culture/richard-brody/rogue-one-reviewed-is-it-time-to-abandon-the-star-wars-franchise?mbid=social_twitter

Probably contains at least mild spoilers, I didn’t read. However I did skim, and look what I found:

There’s none of the Shakespearean space politics, enticingly florid dialogue, or experiential thrills of the best of George Lucas’s “Star Wars” entries (“Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith”).

Author
Time

There have to be easier ways to get George’s autograph. 😉

Forum Moderator

Where were you in '77?

Author
Time

If you ever seriously use the term “florid dialog” it’s time for you to leave this earth.

Keep Circulating the Tapes.

END OF LINE

(It hasn’t happened yet)

Author
Time

DominicCobb said:

TV’s Frink said:

Hey look, he reviewed Rogue One!

http://www.newyorker.com/culture/richard-brody/rogue-one-reviewed-is-it-time-to-abandon-the-star-wars-franchise?mbid=social_twitter

“ROGUE ONE REVIEWED: IS IT TIME TO ABANDON THE STAR WARS FRANCHISE?”

“THE NEW YORKER REVIEWED: IS IT TIME TO ABANDON RICHARD BRODY?”

I tried to read richard brody’s review of Rogue One but couldn’t. He is just so full of himself he has crap oozing out of every opening in his body. He comes across as a stuffy prick but he loves Attack Of The Clones and Revenge Of The Sith. What a clown.

Author
Time

Clones and Sith are the worst films of the franchise, period. This author must be living in a parallel universe where incompetent filmmaking is high art.

How can this be a New Yorker article?

Author
Time

generalfrevious said:

Clones and Sith are the worst films of the franchise, period. This author must be living in a parallel universe where incompetent filmmaking is high art.

How can this be a New Yorker article?

I agree with every word of this post.

Author
Time

TV’s Frink said:

generalfrevious said:

Clones and Sith are the worst films of the franchise, period. This author must be living in a parallel universe where incompetent filmmaking is high art.

How can this be a New Yorker article?

I agree with every word of this post.

Then WE ARE in an alternate universe!

Forum Moderator
Author
Time

Tobar said:

TV’s Frink said:

generalfrevious said:

Clones and Sith are the worst films of the franchise, period. This author must be living in a parallel universe where incompetent filmmaking is high art.

How can this be a New Yorker article?

I agree with every word of this post.

Then WE ARE in an alternate universe!

We are?! Quick, someone tell me how to spell Berenst(e/a)in!

.

Author
Time

I miss the Berenstein universe. =(

Forum Moderator
Author
Time

Tobar said:

TV’s Frink said:

generalfrevious said:

Clones and Sith are the worst films of the franchise, period. This author must be living in a parallel universe where incompetent filmmaking is high art.

How can this be a New Yorker article?

I agree with every word of this post.

Then WE ARE in an alternate universe!

You should see my goatee.

Author
Time

IsanRido said:

generalfrevious said:

Clones and Sith are the worst films of the franchise, period.

The worst film in the franchise is TPM. Clones and its successor are not films 😉.

TPM in my opinion is more of failed experiment, while the other two prequels just exist for no real reason.

And yet there are people who rank ROTS over Jedi. I don’t get it.

Author
Time

There are people who rank TFA over Jedi, and I don’t get that either.

Author
Time

IsanRido said:

The worst film in the franchise is TPM. Clones and its successor are not films 😉.

I see what you did there!