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MalàStrana

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11-Jan-2016
Last activity
24-Feb-2017
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Post
#1047477
Topic
Ranking the Star Wars films
Time

mindcrime1970 said:

Here’s my List

1.Empire Strikes Back
2.A New Hope
3.Return of the Jedi
4.The Force Awakens
5.Attack of the Clones
6.The Clone Wars
7.Revenge of the Sith
8.Rogue One
9.Phantom Menace

I like you anyway.

Post
#1045046
Topic
Clone Wars Movie Series
Time

Another idea: since the main plot of A new threat deals with the Malevolence, I believe the Malevolence first scene should be placed right after the opening crawl (which would then need to be changed), à la A New Hope opening (action scene instead of a talkative one).

  1. Opening crawl

First paragraph, the same

In a bold move, the Clone Army has won a striking victory on the planet Rhodia, by capturing the Viceroy of the TRADE FEDERATION, Nute Gunray.

Chancelor Palpatine has dispatched Jedi Master Luminara and Padawan Ahsoka (etc.)

Little does the REPUBLIC know that to stop its forces to advance further, the SEPARATIST ALLIANCE has built a new weapon, the MALEVOLENCE, a warship with the ability to annihilate entire fleets, which is reaching nearly completion under the lead of General Grievous and Comt Dooku….

  1. First Malevolence attack
  2. Ahsoka, Gunray, Luminara
  3. Dug homeworld scene
  4. Back to Gunray
  5. Back to Dug homeworld: Palpatine sends Windu and Anakin on a mission to find the weapon
  6. Maybe another Malevolent attack if there is enough material; or else you can directly show the two Jedi arriving to the Cruiser.

What do you think?

Post
#1043753
Topic
Ranking the Star Wars films
Time

Katarnan said:

Here’s mine:

  1. Empire Strikes Back
  2. A New Hope
  3. Return of the Jedi
  4. Revenge of the Sith
  5. Attack of the Clones
  6. The Clone Wars
  7. Rogue One
  8. Phantom Menace
  9. The Force Awakens

I like you already.

Post
#1043749
Topic
Clone Wars Movie Series
Time

Ok, I’ve finished my “breakdown” of your second edit, A new threat, which is quite a ride to watch (I think it’s better than the first one, fun and action packed with great editing ideas). Like I remembered there are no real plot issues that need to be corrected, but here are however a few suggestions that could improve some parts (I’m in nitpicking mode, don’t worry 😃).

I would change the title and take a similar title of one episode you’ve used for your edit, like “Shadows of the Malevolence”, because “A new threat” sounds like a slasher movie.

The crawl could be improved to be clearer (in its current state I don’t really understand the link between paragraphs). Suggestion:

In a bold move, the Clone Army has won a striking victory on the planet Rhodia, by capturing the vice-Roy of the TRADE FEDERATION, Nute Gunray.

In order to stop the REPUBLIC forces to advance further, the SEPARATIST ALLIANCE has built a new weapon, the MALEVOLENCE, a warship with the ability to annihilate entire fleets.

When the senate captain betrays everyone, the late clone reaction is weird. Maybe removing it could make the scene work better?

0:18:49
what are you doing?

The first Malevolent appearance (around 0:24:00) should be moved before Anakin and Mace are told to help to seek it (around 0:23:00), and not after. That’s way it’s more logical there is a “slight change of plan”, and also you’ll get a full sequence of them leaving the Dug homeworld and arriving on board of the ship where cadets are (it’s easier to follow). Or just remove Palpatine’s “slight change of plan” ?
About that, during the Dug homeworld action sequence, I would also remove the dugs attacking the droids, because the point of joining the Republic is to let the republican army to do the work.

At 00:33:50, there is a desynchronization between Anakin’s lips movements and the dialogue: “navigation wasn’t the target”.

About Nute Gunray: you should remove a little bit more than that you’ve already removed, such as:

00:34:55 to 00:35:05
I know they are close [etc] they’ll never let me go. Do something, kill them !

Maybe the droids could shoot at the Jedi directly when they spot them?

When the Slave I arrives, I would suggest to remove a few shot of the cadets talking about it. The following dialogue isn’t helpful nor necessary I think:

0:48:34
It’s too early

Then, a few seconds later:

00:50:07 to 00:50:09
that guy [you defended] left us for dead

In your edit the scenes of friendship between Boba/Lucky and the other clone cadet aren’t there anymore, so this line (“you defended”) seems to come out of nowhere. It’s a very very) small issue, I just try to be exhaustive 😄

I’m not sure about the Grievous over-the-top laugh at 01:08:56 (I assume you’ve used it to produce a better audio transition?). Overall I would suggest to remove/trim as much “Grievous laughing” as possible 😄

At 01:13:13, when Mace and Anakin are in the Jedi Temple sick bay (sort of), Anakin’s happy reaction face at “we have received a transmission from our fleet along the Hydian Way” is inconsistent with the change you’ve made. You could try to cut a few frames before he smiles at Mace and let the rest of the dialogue during the close up on Mace Windu.

During the Jedi Council meeting (01:14:00), I would remove “Prepare my ship” and only keep “I will go. We shall leave immediately”. Because I don’t understand why he would say “prepare my ship” to the other Jedi members. It’s more something he would say to a clone commandant.

Over-the-top Master Plo’s dialogues to make him a super good guy towards the clones are very awkward, especially at 01:18:47 (“I value your life more than finding the weapon”: it’s stupid since finding the weapon means less clones killed…) and at 01:27:54 (“Not for me”).

The meeting with the Chancellor. After the wide opening shot of Coruscant I would suggest to directly cut to Obi-Wan delivering the info to Palpy when asked, and so to remove Yoda and Mace dialogues (which are repetitive at this point of the movie: we already know the secret weapon is an issue for the republic).

01:26:03 to 01:26:11
We must destroy [etc.] Dooku [blablabla]

Then the scene could flow as follow:

Palpatine: “Tell me, have we received any word from Master Plo Koon or his fleet ?”
Obi-Wan: “I’ve just received word that Anakin has found the remains of [etc]”

There are audio glitches at 01:32:32 and 01:38:20.

There also may be a few other lines to trim but nothing that really harm your edit. Maybe you should cut half the inner ion cannon shooting (you use the exact same shot at least 5 times).

Here is a french subtitle file synchonized to
SW TCW Episode II-ANT: https://mega.nz/#!s8sChbgQ!Vk8zkNILFCCQDDZqv-VcGkSMD5oNXPHbpRcxtyeQ88w

and here the refreshed one for SW TCW Episode I-AOTR: https://mega.nz/#!YxNQFYoZ!ttoywXccOSs3AVgEATFbAZS_9VcsT9Y1oNseHAO0PAg

This post has been edited.

Post
#1042701
Topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure
Time

Sir Ridley said:

Hal 9000 said:

Haha, gorgeous. Yes, I would love to have you render out yours, even after tinkering with mine for so long. When someone with power tools offers to help, put down your hand tools. I would, however, request using the same font for the title as the theatrical version of TFA.

No problem! 😃 I’m changing it back to the theatrical font now, it’s probably for the best.

I watched a presentation by the guy in charge of graphics and holograms on TFA and he mentioned how they carefully mimicked the original crawls by replicating lens distortion, film gate weave and other things digitally.

Pretty interesting if you’re into that kind of stuff:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsFvSgg2-Yo

But of course it’s even cooler how they did it originally, by filming actual back lit text.
http://gagarin.tm/statics/images/post/gallery-1432667442-ep4-bts-13904866909.jpg

Anyway, I’ll tweak it just a bit more and then I guess I’ll try a render.

Isn’t it possible to use 3PO to deliver the line in a way he would say “The Republic won’t send reenforcement/ships/fleet ? We are doomed !” ? (note that Daniels made 3PO voice in TCW, I wonder if someone familiar enough with the show would know if there is a line to be taken from an episode)

This post has been edited.

Post
#1041385
Topic
Politics 2: Electric Boogaloo
Time

TV’s Frink said:

doubleofive said:

I forgot to mention every Presidential Approval Poll

That’s amazing, especially when looking at the disapproval numbers.

With the media and the establishment against him, the numbers are hardly surprising. I’m amazed he even got 45% of truly great americans to support their President (the best US President since… ever ?) with lefties all over the place punching in the face everyone who doesn’t agree with them (you want to punch someone in the face in the US and get away with it ? It’s easy: call the guy you target a “nazi” - no proof needed - and go for it !).

Post
#1040532
Topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure
Time

DigMod said:
These are fanatics who admire the Empire but are definitely different. They existed before during and after the Empire. They just never made their move until the Empire crumbled. So yes, they are very much like the Nazis.

I don’t agree at all and JJ Abrams is terrible in european (and latin america) history. FO = Nazis is obvious in his mind, and it’s a very bad (and dumb) idea, but it doesn’t support real historic parallels; the OT was far more subtle about that, making the Empire a powerful aggregate of various dictatorship systems. It’s the big difference between a myth (the OT) and something which relates too much on actual Earth history (the PT, TFA… TLJ ?). The same goes with the Resistance depicted like soviet/communits fighters in a few shots…

But this is not the place to argue about that.

(by the way I’m totally 150% fine with the last crawl)

This post has been edited.

Post
#1040474
Topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure
Time

Now that’s you’re rewritting it, I wonder if “in secret” is necessary, since the FO is quite known by everyone in the movie (people of Jakku, Han, the NR, Maz, various bounty hunters and smugglers).

Luke Skywalker has vanished. In his absence, the sinister FIRST ORDER has risen from the burning ashes of the fallen Empire, plotting their return to power.

(yep, burning ashes… sorry about that 😄 to imply it was a fast recovery after their defeat. It sounds cool but it might not be necessary at all)

nitpicking level: + 150 XP

This post has been edited.

Post
#1040447
Topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure
Time

Hal 9000 said:
Luke Skywalker has vanished. In his absence, the sinister FIRST ORDER has risen in secret from the ashes of the fallen Empire, plotting its return to power.

I think this is as perfect as it can be. It gives the “mcguffin”, some political info, and a clue that there is more going on.

About the third paragraph, a question: why is Poe’s mission so daring ? Is Jakku supposed to be under FO juridiction since the “fake” peace signed with the NR ?

Post
#1040270
Topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure
Time

Jackpumpkinhead said:

I personally feel that ending on leia and watching the falcon leave is a better ending. i would rather just not see luke until TLJ

Besides that way you could have the ending with 3PO and R2. Love the idea !

Post
#1040224
Topic
TFA: A Gentle Restructure
Time

NeverarGreat said:

MalàStrana said:

(as far as I’m concerned the ending “helicopter shot” is absolutely hideous. So cheap, so weird - looks like Luke is played by a dummy -, so out of place, so… dumb… I would completely remove it)

I don’t think it’s entirely out of place, but it doesn’t work well at the end. I made a mockup of how this scene might end differently, but it’s definitely outside the scope of this edit:
https://mega.nz/#!HN9U0DbA!Rf6CCKIlVMGYasEtMUv2MDXHRZitSEqaHQMRmjSrqEQ

Well, I don’t like it either. This helicopter movement does not belong here at all. It should have been a static shot (like in your edit - except I would suggest to finish on Luke, not Rey -, but without the helicopter shot), not that (I’m talking about the theatrical cut, not your effort to make it right). There are several ugly shots in this movie but this one deserves an award both for ugliness and silliness. IMHO of course 😄

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