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Cookie Monster

This user has been banned.

User Group
Banned Members
Join date
3-Apr-2010
Last activity
18-Nov-2012
Posts
68

Post History

Post
#411024
Topic
Cookie MOnsters favorite jokes!
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/411024/action/topic#411024
Time

hey vote for palpatine, dont worry.  I'm just not on very often you know.  So here is a good one I found called

Real Teacher Parent Notes

Dear Teacher: Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot.

Dear School: I hope you will excuse John for being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

Dear Miss Larson: Jack didn't go to school yesterday because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Mrs. Smith: Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

Dear Teacher: Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

Dear Mr. Brown: Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Dear Mr. Anderson: Maryann was absent yesterday because she had a fever and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, and her brother had a fever. I wasn't too well, either. There must have been something going around. Her father even got hot last night.

Dear Mr. Thomas: Jennifer missed school yesterday for a good reason. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Post
#410359
Topic
Cookie MOnsters favorite jokes!
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/410359/action/topic#410359
Time

Xonzi, of course I am not really Cookie Monster.  I just have to be around Sesame Street a lot because of my son and i think he is really funny.  Yes Cookie Monster usually eats cookies but he also talks different to.  You could just as easy complain that I dont say things like OF COURSE ME NOT COOKIE MONSTER.

To make you feel better Xhonzi, ME EAT ALL THE COOKIES!!!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_x1JZ72TTM_M/Svb1lZDAOGI/AAAAAAAACYI/5WLixI-tqCM/s320/Cookie_Monster.jpg

With the swearing I saw that it isnt agianst the rules, so I guess I will have to live with it.

 

Post
#410009
Topic
Cookie MOnsters favorite jokes!
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/410009/action/topic#410009
Time

Ok guys, ha ha.  I get the joke.  Let's just please keep things clean ok!

Heres a cookie joke!

An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian anisette sprinkle cookies wafting up the stairs. Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite anisette sprinkled cookies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Italian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.

The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife....."Back off!" she said, they're for the funeral."

Post
#409941
Topic
Cookie MOnsters favorite jokes!
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/409941/action/topic#409941
Time

come on guys!  I didnt join up for that kind of language.  Lets keep it clean, ok!

Here:

NEW DICTIONARY
 

ADULT :
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing
in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR :
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL :
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS :
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE :
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST :
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST :
Someone me-deep in conversation

GOSSIP :
A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF :
Cold Storage.

INFLATION :
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. MYTH:
A female moth.

MOSQUITO :
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN :
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET :
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON :
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE :
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW :
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN :
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES :
Something other people have. You have character lines.

Post
#409900
Topic
Cookie MOnsters favorite jokes!
Link
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/409900/action/topic#409900
Time

Hi guys!

I love jokes, and I have not really seen to many here.  And I want to have my own thread.  So I will post my favorite jokes here.  To start off I have the advice from dad.  Have a cookie and enjoy!

Advice From Dad


A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning. After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked "How do fish breath under water?"

His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don't know, son."

The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?"

Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son."

Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?"

Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son."

The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I'm asking you all of these questions?"

"Of course not son." replied his dad,  "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"