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I don’t know why, but I feel compelled to tell why I love Star Wars so much.
I was born in 1982, a year before ROTJ came out. When I was young, maybe 3 or 4, Star Wars frightened me, particularly ROTJ: you see, I was afraid of the “Jedi Worm,” better known as Jabba the Hutt. My family claims I came up with this name, but I find it hard to believe that I would ascribe such a name with such a limited knowledge. But in any case, he terrified me; I even remember having nightmares about him! But I had an interest in the films because I knew my older siblings, particularly my brother, really enjoyed them and watched them frequently. I just didn’t have the courage to take them on.
One day, I was probably 5 or 6, I thought I would finally face my fear and watch ROTJ. I remember sitting right up next to the screen, and when Jabba came on, I laughed in his face! I had defeated him and was open to watching all the films. Sadly, I cannot remember when I first saw each of them completely, or even what order I watched them. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know that Vader was Luke’s old man. But my victory was merely an opened opportunity. I did not actually grow to love Star Wars just yet.
In third grade, I decided I wanted to be a mama’s boy and stay home for the second semester and be home schooled. It was the only time in my life I was, but it served as a turning point for me. My mother would teach me and give me assignments, and I’d race through them and be done with school often before lunch. During that time, I started watching the films, and in particular fell in love with ANH. I can’t even tell you how many times I watched it that semester. I was hooked for life!
In fifth grade I made a friend (not my first, but my most significant childhood friend). He was two years younger than I, but we were on the same wavelength. We were interested in many of the same things, such as Star Wars, Star Trek, science (both of us were big Bill Nye fans), etc. We would get together and not play video games, not watch movies, not play board games, but play what we called “imaginary games,” where we would assign both of ourselves roles in Star Wars or Star Trek stories, come up with scenarios, and reenact them. I usually took the Luke Skywalker-type role (often with my childhood crush being the damsel in distress, though the real thing never new it ;), while my friend played more of a Han Solo-type character.
Over time our scenarios became more and more elaborate. Though I knew what an X-wing was, my friend was the first to inform me that those other ships were Y-wings (I thought that was pretty cool). Then I remember going to my aunt and uncle’s home in CA one Thanksgiving and playing the video game X-wing for the first time, and that was where I first heard of the other classes of fighters, such as A-wings, B-wings, TIE Interceptors, etc. I was so excited that I designed my own ship that I called a V-wing (before I knew the name had already been used). This was my custom ship that I flew in battles in our imaginary games. Then my friend later obtained this little gem. It was so darn cool and we treated it like a religious text. My friend also recommended reading the Thrawn trilogy. I’d never heard of EU novels before, so I couldn’t believe how amazing this book was and how it would broaden my concept of Star Wars.
Over time, I started purchasing books which expanded our understanding further. For instance, I remember when I bought this for $9. I literally destroyed it by reading through it so much. I also fondly remember my purchase of the WEG Imperial Sourcebook, a book which I still have and treasure. Though my friend and I had heard allusions to different classes of Star Destroyers, we finally had some textual description in the Guide to the Star Wars Universe, and more importantly had something visual in the WEG book. These volumes alone drastically shaped how we played. It was like we were playing an RPG, except without the dice; merely our imaginations.
Okay, that was long and meandering, but I don’t think there was a more influential period in my Star Wars love than when I was with that friend. After he moved away at the start of my eighth grade year, I never found a friend who was so interested in Star Wars as I was. My love never faltered, by my interest waned.
Over time, I started to realize that the EU was bloating up the Star Wars universe, and I admit that in 1999 at the end of my Junior year in high school, I was disappointed with TPM. Star Wars had lost its magic somewhat to me, and this only progressed over time. I still liked aspects of it, but I’d realized that there was never an end to ridiculous superweapons, there was never an end to the stupid plots such as kidnapping Jedi children or harnessing human souls to power your machines or crystal stars that affect the Force. And though I enjoyed Rebel Assault as a youth, when I realized that even that held a level of canonicity, I threw my arms up in the air and decided that Star Wars would be the joy of my childhood, and merely an interesting story to periodically revisit as an adult.
One day in 2007 I decided, literally out of the blue, to look up “Star Wars deleted scenes” on YouTube. It was there that I learned of the Behind the Magic CD and OCP’s Deleted Magic! There was something drastically new to latch onto, something interesting to learn. I got ahold of the disc (paying Mr. Gilchrist $10 because I knew no better) and loved it! I distributed it to friends and family. I later learned about Jamie Bennings (a.k.a. Jambe Davdar) efforts with the trilogy and wanted to get my mitts on those as well. I finally ventured into torrents. And my research also led me to fanedit.org and originaltrilogy.com. I tried out ANH:Revisited, and I loved that as well, and I realized that Star Wars had the magic of my youth once again.
Over time, my views have been reshaped. What was merely an ethereal concept has been solidified: I now only consider canon what I find convenient at the moment; the OT really is what Star Wars has always been special to me; there are variations of the same tale that are worth telling/hearing. In the end, I really do love Star Wars. I love its history, thanks in part to our favorite Zombie. I love its permutations, through script drafts, the novelizations, the Radio Dramas, the fanedits, and the official releases. I love Star Wars again. I owe a large part of that love to this site. So this lengthy stroll down memory lane may serve as a thank you for originaltrilogy.com.
