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ziggyonice

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23-Mar-2013
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14-Nov-2019
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Post
#1302896
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

NeverarGreat said:

You can of course discuss anything at any time, I’m all ears 😉

Okay, I’m going to talk about the crawl!

I consider myself to be a semi-purist, and I don’t like changing canon too much. Moving the order of events around and providing some additional context for what has happened is great, but major alterations bug me a bit. So with regards to the crawl, I’d like to keep its contents true while shedding light on three main points:

  1. Luke is missing
  2. The First Order is a threat
  3. The Resistance is defending the Republic

Your existing crawl has some great verbiage and does explain some of this, though it needs to be just a little less wordy and a little more in line with canon. So I’d like to propose another version, which takes some of your ideas (which are fantastic, by the way) and merge them with some of mine. This is what I came up with:

https://vimeo.com/370007727
Password: fanedit

Luke Skywalker has vanished.
In the years since his absence,
the fledgling New Republic has
been threatened by the sinister
IMPERIAL FIRST ORDER,
risen by remnants of the Empire.

Lead by a mysterious shadow,
this faction of evil grows quickly,
annihilating all in its
path until Skywalker, the last
Jedi, has been destroyed.

Determined to defend the
vulnerable Republic, a small
RESISTANCE is desperate to
find Luke and enlist his help in
defeating this new darkness
spreading across the stars . . . .

This crawl addresses the three points made above, and also sheds a little light on some of the unanswered questions about the political state of the galaxy without being overbearing. It explains that the First Order comes from remains of the Empire and is lead by “a mysterious shadow,” which might give some credence to their quick rise to power and military clout. Finally, I want it to be clear that the Resistance is not lead by the Republic, but still vows to defend then — with Luke as a key player in their strategy. Hence why, “This will begin to make things right.”

It also uses some of your great expressions (“spreading across the stars” is awesome) and many of the word choices, albeit in a few other locations in the text, where terms like “sinister” and “shadow” are great too.

Let me know what you think.

NeverarGreat said:

Speaking of the crawl, I had a somewhat weird idea for a more substantial change to the galactic table setting, so it would be something to do after v1 is released (if at all):

I have to think a bit more about this.

This change is certainly interesting and does make me curious how it would look if executed correctly. Of course, I’d have to loosen up about my desire to keep things canon here! 😜 But you’re right, it does fix the issue of Leia not warning the Republic of the impending Starkiller attack. However, there may be another way to resolve that, although I had never even thought about that until you just mentioned it. Wondering if a line could simply be thrown in about Hosnian Prime preparing to evacuate or something. I’ll think on this some more.

Post
#1302456
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

Can I add a request? This is minor and silly, but hear me out.

In the final trailer that was released for The Force Awakens, it included a shot of an X-Wing shooting a TIE Fighter during the Takodana battle. The same shot is in the final version of the film, albeit with one change: they took out the sound effect of the X-Wing shooting the TIE Fighter (or they lowered the volume of its laser cannons so much that you can barely hear them).

I’m wondering if you would consider putting it back in.

Listen to the difference (I’ve cued up the exact moment I’m talking about):

It’s not a big deal, but I just think the X-Wing’s laser cannons sounded so cool in that trailer and when it was removed from the final version of the film, I was a little disappointed.

Definitely like the lowest thing on your priority list but I figured I’d ask.

Post
#1301564
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

NeverarGreat said:

…a potential upside is that the crawl might not need to be quite as plot heavy.

I don’t mind having some plot elements mentioned in the crawl. This does take place ~30 years after Return of the Jedi, so I feel like at least a few major elements are going to need to be mentioned in it.

Speaking of which, I’d like to discuss the crawl again and some of the content of it… whenever you’re ready to have that discussion. 😃

Post
#1301563
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

NeverarGreat said:

However with the new images I’ve created of BB-8 sitting outside of Rey’s house at night, a new option becomes available. Rey finds BB-8 and brings the droid home, then BB-8 facilitates the transition to the Finalizer as a flashback.

I am struggling to picture how this would work. If there’s anyone that can figure it out, it’s you. With that said, I’m afraid it’s probably going to complicate the story more than it needs to. Let’s be real, for most non-fans, understanding Star Wars is confusing enough as it is.

I’m of the opinion that, if you can keep it simple, that’s going to be the better route to go. If you want to make a mock up of the order of scenes with a flashback, I’m open to looking at it and tell you what I think. But when I watch a fanedit, I watch it with the idea that I’m going to be showing this to someone that hasn’t seen Star Wars, so I go for whatever makes the most sense.

Post
#1301561
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

NeverarGreat said:

Would it be better if I were to replace the rocks behind Luke and have him fade in totally independent of the surroundings?

I don’t mind Luke fading in, as it is a dream sequence, after all. However, I would maybe see if you could have him fade in more slowly, almost with the bright white bloom effect of the background.

I kind of like the idea of the viewer seeing this and wondering if he faded in, or if it’s just almost like he’s appearing from the fog of the background. Maybe if his fade in was slower and not so obviously an appearance. Think more of a gradual reveal — “is that a figure? a person? it is a person! omg, is that Luke?”

In its current state, it’s more like he just apparated into the frame. Having his appearance come in a little slower may make it seem more mysterious. I don’t think you have to replace the rocks necessarily.

Post
#1301414
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

This change looks good, and I like your reasoning behind it. I always felt like BB-8 needed to be part of that scene, and this edit pulls it off well.

Visually, I didn’t like the shot of Chewie, Poe, and rando Resistance member that interrupts BB-8 rolling forward. It just felt choppy or too quick or something. Would the shot of Rey looking at the map be a better fit here? Or would that be too awkward after having seen her in the Luke/dream sequence?

Post
#1300914
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

This sequence is really good. Definitely raises the stakes. The first time I watched The Force Awakens I remember thinking to myself, “Oh no, she’s turning to the Dark, she doesn’t even know it but she’s turning.”

This version you’ve put together shows this really well. Also, I like it because I felt like, in the theatrical version, it took just a little too long showing her thinking about the Force.

Much more effective presentation.

Post
#1300805
Topic
The Last Jedi: Rekindled (RELEASED!)
Time

Just wanted to say the addition of Phasma body fixes the biggest gripe I had with this fanedit.

This is such a fantastic project, poppasketti. I’m glad to see you back at it again because your work is great.

While I’m here, I’ll mention my “wish list” that still remains for The Last Jedi, though maybe I’ll just use your work on Rekindled as the foundation for my own fanedit someday:

I wish…

  • …that “The Jedi Steps” played when Luke confronts the First Order. I made my own version of this here, and I think it is SO much more powerful than the music that plays currently.

  • …that Luke’s lightsaber was green. There, I said it. You’re right that there are symbolic reasons for why it is blue, though I will say that I was caught off guard when I first saw the movie and was confused as to why the blue one is what was being used despite it having clearly been destroyed moments before and would be a clear indicator to Kylo Ren that something was off.

On second thought, those are the only things on my must-have wish list. There are a few other odds and ends (I’m still not sure where I land on the Broom Boy sequence at the end), but those are my thoughts anyway.

Post
#1299699
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

NeverarGreat said:

Totally fair, I’ll take another look at it and probably revert the lines (and some music) back to the previous version.

In my defense, I was up until 4 AM re-cutting all the sound effects from the 2017 workfiles for Restructured, so I probably wasn’t in a lucid state of mind at that point. 😉

Hey, no worries! It’s ALL great work! I stop by here nearly every day to see if you have anything new to share.

Post
#1299603
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

idir_hh said:

The overall sound is much improved but personally I think the it flows better without the extra Snoke line.

I’m going to have to agree here: it was better without the “I’ve felt it” line.

I think it’s clear that, in Snoke saying that “there’s been an awakening,” that (obviously) he felt it. No need to include the extra dialogue to get that point across.

Also Neverar, I actually preferred the music in the previous version (66) than in this new version (67). The best part in my opinion was that, in that first overhead shot of the forest, the music sounds quite bleak as Snoke says, “There’s been an awakening” and “The Dark Side.” But then — ah ha! — a light! As the forest begins to light up, the tone of the music changes to a much more optimistic melody, just as Snoke says, “And the Light.”

In your newer update, the music is too jolly throughout the entire sequence and I feel like it diminishes the difference between the darkness and the light, which is revealed when Rey looks up and sees the Falcon.

If I had a choice, I would say go back to 66 in almost every way. It was an excellent execution, with perhaps only a few sound effects tweaks needed.

Either way, great work. I just preferred (order) 66.

Post
#1297733
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

RogueLeader said:

Sort of what I’ve been picturing:

Finn: Where’s Rey?

Cut to same island shot. Then cut to Rey entering frame, looking back Chewie, R2 and the Falcon. An abridged approach to the cliff, trying to avoid repeating shots. Use the same music as Rey’s first scene in TLJ, Rey reaches the top and it cuts to the empty cliff side on the swell of music (originally the musical point where Luke tosses the saber). She then goes back down to the village. Luke shuts the door before she can see him. She knocks, stands there, looks around. Looks toward the ocean and cut to the insert of the X-Wing submerged in the water.

When you cut to Luke in the hut, you also can cut the shot of him folding his ceremonial robes.

I really like this. Yes, it would require painting Luke out of the scene altogether, but I don’t think it would actually be terribly difficult, particularly for the wide shots.

Post
#1296405
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

Speaking of, I’ve been hard at work on recreating the original '77 crawl font, and though I’ve had to guess on some characters it’s basically complete. Here it is in purple overlaid with the original crawl:

https://vimeo.com/359372926

Password: fanedit

That looks pretty damn close. Nice work.

I think the crawl is certainly going to be pretty important here and I would anticipate a lot more feedback on what it should say. Going back a few posts on this thread, I really liked the spirit of Dr. Krogshöj’s write up in that it includes some additional information about the political state of the galaxy. However, I think it’s actually a little too political.

So I wrote up a version previously (which I’ve since edited slightly here) and included some of your phrasing you mentioned in another post (particularly in the third paragraph).

So without further ado, here is my take on what the crawl should look like:

Luke Skywalker has vanished.
In his absence, the fledgling
REPUBLIC has been threatened
by the sinister FIRST ORDER,
born from ashes of the Empire.

Lead by a mysterious shadow,
this faction of evil grows
quickly, annihilating all in
its path until Skywalker, the
last Jedi, has been destroyed.

Determined to defend the
vulnerable Republic, a small
RESISTANCE is desperate to
find Luke and request his help
in defeating the darkness that
spreads across the stars . . . .

I like this because:

  1. It gives some background on the First Order growing quickly
  2. It describes the First Order as a “faction,” implying that they’re still a smaller (but growing) threat
  3. It indicates the First Order is lead by something mysterious (aka Snoke)
  4. It helps to describe some of the political state of the galaxy without going overboard
  5. It describes the Republic as “fledgling” (like a young bird learning to fly) and “vulnerable” (which might explain why the Republic fleet doesn’t join the Resistance’s fight sooner)
  6. It doesn’t mention Leia in the final paragraph, making her reveal more surprising
  7. The “darkness spreading across the stars” is a tongue-in-cheek reference to Starkiller base, sucking life out of stars
  8. “Across the stars” just sounds cool but also its the name of John Williams’ theme from Attack of the Clones
  9. It’s also fairly short and fits within the same approximate word count as the other crawls (75 words)

I hope some of this helps you identify the direction the crawl should go!

Post
#1294289
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

Okay, I had to have my own attempt at the crawl:

Luke Skywalker has vanished.
In his absence, the fledgling
REPUBLIC has been threatened
by the sinister FIRST ORDER,
born from ashes of the Empire.

Lead by a mysterious shadow,
this faction of evil vows to
annihilate all in its path
until Skywalker, the last Jedi,
has been destroyed.

Determined to defend the
vulnerable Republic, General
Leia Organa leads a RESISTANCE
to stop the rising foe and find
her brother Luke before they do…

Post
#1292226
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

Okay, here are my notes on the Starkiller Infiltration sequence. Yes, I know that you have indicated that audio is not completed, but I’ve included some comments about what needs to be changed there as well.

  1. First shot of Rey trying to escape the restraints has repeated audio: her breathing and struggling sound the exact same just a second apart from each other.

  2. In the original, when Finn has Phasma lower the shields, he says, “You want me to blast that bucket of your head? Lower the shields.” While I don’t think the first part of that line is necessary, the second part is a good reminder to the audience of what we’re doing here. I really think you should consider keeping that second part of the line in.

There is a shot where Phasma’s helmet blocks Finn’s face as the camera pans across her — maybe you could have him speak the line just as the camera blocks his face with Phasma’s helmet? Like this:

“Lower the shields”
“You’re making a big mistake.”
“Do it.”

  1. I really preferred when the alarm wasn’t silent. When Phasma stands up and says, “You can’t be so stupid as to think this will be easy,” the klaxon should start going off. (I think you did this in one of your earlier edits.) Otherwise, it seems confusing to me about why it randomly starts going off moments later. Like, did they get caught? Maybe there should be a different alarm sound that just goes off on the console Phasma was working on? And then the full klaxon goes off? I don’t know.

  2. I liked that you got Rid of Finn’s joke line about Han’s nodding his head to point toward Rey. It was just a little too much attempt at humor and it fell flat.

  3. The Kylo on the Falcon sequence looks good. The audio during the cockpit sequence is great. It would be cool if there was some way to animate some small moving dots representing ships in the distance, but the flashes of lights on the clouds might do it.

Post
#1291508
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

Absolutely gorgeous work.

This is the best version you’ve put together, and I really do not have much to say about it — which is a good thing. Here are my notes:

  • The ocean/beach sound effect has a loud bird chirping that I found a little annoying and distracting. Could you use a different take? I’m not opposed to the occasional bird sound (it is an island, after all). The bird sound effects when she wakes up is fine. But this one bird in particular on the ocean/waves crashing sound effect is chirping a little too often and a little too loud. It’s coming from the left channel and you can hear it even on the far away shot of the island. On a separate note, if you wanted, I would be okay with a distant porg sound effect once or twice to better connect it to to TLJ.

  • The sound effect when the light fades onto Rey’s face and she wakes up is perfect. I don’t know what that is — some sort of mysterious scraping sound — but whatever it is, it’s great.

  • I like that you can hear C-3P0 distantly saying “general” before it shows Leia.

  • The white bloom effect and blur that reveals Luke is great. The fade to white at the end is really a great touch.

  • Can you turn up the volume just a little bit on the Force theme that plays when Rey is holding out the lightsaber? I think it’s just a tad too quiet compared to the swelling music that plays immediately after.

  • Interesting choice to remove Rey calling Finn her “friend” when she says thank you. I’m not complaining. I actually think this is a good decision, as I always thought it sounded a little unnatural.

It’s looking really, really good. I watched this like 20 times, haha.

Post
#1289830
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

Welcome back, Nev. Good luck with the move into the house and looking forward to seeing your work again.

NeverarGreat said:
There was a bit of a lull in work today though, so I tinkered around a bit (more work on the Starkiller firing) and took another stab at parallel editing the Luke dream with full dream filters:

I think parallel editing is definitely the way to go here for the maximum benefit of the music.

First of all, I absolutely agree with you that the parallel editing is the way to go. It is far more polished makes the build up with the crescendo in the music much better than in the sequential version. Some may disagree with me here, but it looks super slick.

Secondly, a few notes…

  1. When Rey wakes up, I think we need to see a shot of the island from afar — maybe the ocean shots from The Last Jedi trailer? My thoughts here are that, in the current state, we see Rey wake up, but don’t have any indication that she ISN’T still on D’Qar. For all the audience knows, she was sleeping in a room with stone-lined walls to begin with at the Resistance base. So then it’s a little confusing if someone doesn’t notice the “dream effect.” Bottom line: can you fit an island shot in there, just as she wakes up and just before R2-D2 wakes up?

  2. I compared this most recent edit with your previous take and I noticed you swapped the position of the scenes where C-3P0 says, “R2 has some much-needed good news.” Just my opinion, but I think the original placement was better. With the new position, Leia says “Tell me” just before we see Luke for the first time and I think it distracts from his reveal. Maybe you could put that scene just after the really wide / faraway shot of Rey climbing up the mountain?

  3. I wish there was more music here to fit more shots in. Are you open to repeating the first couple verses of The Jedi Steps to fit in more? Like, I think it’s important that we see the map piece from BB-8 be hooked up to match the map that R2-D2 is showing. If you had just a few more seconds, I think it could be done. Any chance you might be willing to consider repeating the first ~10-15 seconds of the song? Or maybe you could use some of the extended version of the song from the suite?

As always, great work. Hope to see you again soon.

Post
#1285514
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

Really, really great work on the Starkiller firing scene.

One thing I think I missed though: you no longer have Hux yelling, “Fire!”

I think that makes it a little more powerful, specifically when that female First Order agent turns to face the camera. If he yelled it right then, I think it would be as though she is listening to his orders.

Also, it’s just a little scarier when that happens.

Or maybe not.

One more thing: it definitely needs some audio work (which I’m sure you’re aware). Missing some explosions and X-Wing sounds.

Post
#1282436
Topic
The Force Awakens - The Starlight Project
Time

NeverarGreat said:

I guess the question becomes, which version of the edit has more promise? The sequential edit might lose the saber entirely as well as the Leia scene while also raising the question of where Rey is after the dream, whereas the parallel edit could keep these things while maybe not being the most intuitive from the outset.

The parallel edit looks so much more polished than the sequential version does. The sequential version feels very rushed because it has to fit the music.

Add the “dream effects” to the dream sequences for the parallel version and it’ll be more apparent. I absolutely prefer the parallel version. Also, I noticed you don’t have the faraway shot of the island in the parallel version (while you do have it in the sequential version).

I’ve mentioned this before: you can always do multiple versions of the same fanedit. Just duplicate your project file. Yes, it’s a little more to maintain, but there will never be one “100% right” version.

That said, your parallel version is so much more slick, in my opinion. Just make the dream clips easier to identify as dream clips.

Post
#1282428
Topic
A New Hope - Reimagined
Time

ChainsawAsh said:

ziggyonice said:

The main thing I want to see is the theme from The Imperial March playing only ONE time: when Vader walks though the door onto the Tantive IV.

Like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1zzzRXwP64

Except with a more mellow version of the Imperial March. This one is WAY too punchy.

Best example of this I’ve seen, and one I’m 100% in favor of: https://player.vimeo.com/video/225892219

I’m saving this for a future edit if it doesn’t happen here. Absolutely best rendition I’ve seen of this idea.