Vultural

The Last Shark - 1981 - 5/10
AKA - L’ultimo Squalo

The annual windsurfing regatta is scheduled for the weekend.
Meanwhile, a great white has arrived in the neighborhood, and it has a taste for long pig.
The mayor and local skippers take precautions, but this is one wily fish.
It can tear things up, it can build, as well. It’s big, it’s fast, and it is not anorexic.
Blatant ripoff of Jaws proves laugh out action after a lethargic start.
For viewers who slow down to gape at car accidents, there are piles of unhappy meals.

Litsid - 2018 - 5/10
AKA - Madame K // Whores

So, in your wildest dreams, imagine Hallmark decides to create a series about a brothel.
Filled with lots of young, attractive females who love their work, giggle and laugh, and share happy moments.
Complicating matters: this is Estonia, 1939, on the eve of World War II.
Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union are squeezing the small nation.
Meanwhile, the house is kinda / sorta busy with well-dressed officers, glib politicians, and athletes.
The ladies are all smiles, historic accuracy – unsure, the storyline pure puffery.
Followed by a spinoff series, which I have no interest in.

The Girl On The Late, Late Show - 1974 - 6/10

So whatever happened to Carolyn Parker?
Big star a few decades earlier, now disappeared.
So wonders the producer of a New York morning show, who flies out to Los Angeles.
Mixed concoction of Noir, TV formula and laziness.
The premise is solid, but the plotting, the writing, lacks edge.
Stars in cameos include Van Johnson, Walter Pidgeon, Yvonne De Carlo.
Noir heavyweights John Ireland and Gloria Graham are given mere moments.
While a failed attempt, this is worth tracking down by Noir fans.

’49-‘17 - 1917 - 6/10

Stifled by Eastern refinements, the Judge hankers for the wilder West of his youth.
Back when he was an original ‘49er.
He sends his young assistant to restore ghost town Nugget Notch and fill it with suitable inhabitants.
Unfortunately, by 1917, most weren’t as comfortable with shooting irons as the Judge had been.
There are a few mysteries to unravel, pardner, as well as the town cutie lusted after by the gambler.
And Jean Hersholt as Gentleman Jim steals the money, the scene, and the movie.
Fun little Silent kinda moseys along, although it barely runs an hour.

On Becoming A Guinea Fowl - 2024 - 7/10

Driving home from a costume party, Shula sees a body in the road.
Her Uncle Fred – dead. She phones her father, who is drunk but still begs for money.
A cousin appears, waving a bottle and bombed out of her mind.
Police eventually take charge, and Shula goes home to settle herself.
Until an auntie quartet arrives, wailing, hollering, issuing demands.
Why, I wonder, is professional woman Shula is still living there?
This “comedy” will play better for members of big, boisterous, nosy families.
And while the aunties may say, “We love you, our children” it becomes clear they loved Fred more.
For ostriches and those who always look the other way, avoid this.
Otherwise, an eye-opening view of Zambia.

I’m rolling slow on this. Almost as slow as the pacing in this leisurely stroll of a series.
That said, I’ve finally made it to E05. Alien fans, this seems like the episode to watch.
Weyland-Yutani all the way. Hostile creatures on the loose owing to “malfunction”.
In fact, you don’t have to watch the first four shows, and thus avoid those whiny teenyboppers.
I sorta have interest in the series again, although, like the blonde date who says “maybe”, I know it’s going to disappoint me.

Behind Stone Walls - 1932 - 5/10

The dinner party was breaking up anyway.
The District Attorney (aspiring Governor) is taking wife Esther to theatre.
Until the courthouse phones, saying only HE can handle an extradition.
With that, Esther slips off to play hide the sausage with the best friend.
Grade-C Pre-Code is loaded with sleaze.
Adultery, murder, blackmail (financial and sexual), and sly courtroom deals.
Acting is stilted, directing stagey, dialogue a river of pauses and gushes.

Probert, Kate - The Descent

Asthmatics, those plagued by claustrophobia, nyctophobia, or being a main course.
Neil Marshall’s 2005 shocker is one to avoid.
This book is a fine companion for those who want to know more about the participants, locations, facts.
Facts becomes a dodgy area, since writer Probert received a parcel from “Tasha”, supposedly member of the original cave party on which the film is based.
Before officials obliterated all traces and concealed mountain openings.
This is highly readable and the author is enthusiastic.

I grew up in Appalachia and caved for over a decade. I saw the film during its run, knew it was not filmed in Appalachia, but that was OK. Sent DVDs to old companions.
One of our tricks for finding “new to us” caves was to look for warm mist rising from openings. Spring or fall, early morning, were best times, when the air was cool but the cave system was warmer.
Good luck. Tell others where you might be. Although we never did.

Arctic Circle - 2018 - 6/10
AKA - Ivalo

A sexually transmitted disease breaks out in northern Finland.
Mating is OK, hosts are OK, but pregnancies turn into spontaneous, bloodied abortions.
If it spreads, extinction of humanity on a mass scale within generations.
Scientists and law enforcement work in tandem to track down and isolate carriers.
For a cure? They need to find patient zero.
Potentially gripping thriller is weighed down with too many characters and side plots.
Minor characters are more like cameos, several of the breakaway plots simply vanish.
I suspect writers had enough material for a great 6-part series, but the show was 10 episodes.
Padding, and obvious padding at that.

Hot Enough For June - 1964 - 6/10

Aspiring writer Nicholas, on the dole, lands a job with a glass firm.
Which is actually a front for MI6, now sending ignorant amateurs into the field.
In this case, Prague 1964, still very much behind the Iron Curtain.
Even as an innocent, our faux spy (Dirk Bogard) catches on quick.
And tumbles for his Czech minder, Sylva Koscina.
This starts as a satire, gradually grows more serious, though the tone stays light.

Escape Dangerous - 1947 - 5/10

Height of the French Revolution, the Terror, and aristocrats scramble to save their heads.
Literally.
Several find shelter with a shifty female … for a large fee.
Then there is Doctor Belhomme. Refugees who sicken either die under his care, or vanish in his hospital.
All the makings of fine Gothic Horror, except this is dismal.
The directing is lackluster. Static sets, no camera movement, reminiscent of an early talkie.
Best is Beresford Egan (?!!?) as the villainous doctor.
Script by Oswell Blakeston disappoints in every way.

Sex From Beyond The Grave - 1984 - 5/10
AKA - Fung lau Yuen Gwai // 風 流 冤 鬼

During WWII, lustful Japanese murder her husband and son, then rape the beautiful actress.
Jump 40 years. The ghost, after having killed guilty parties, now haunts the home.
The narrative jumps to a luckless gambler, comically inept.
And a professor, his wife and son who purchase the cursed house.
Confused? The whole thing is a mess, with several nude dance sequences and other distractions.
Dylan Cheung provides a lively, if breathless, commentary ranging from the demise of Shaw Brothers, Hong Kong in the 1980’s, actors, films, in-jokes, locations, anecdotes, restrictions, much more.
Cheung never stops for air. His commentary is more valuable than the film which is uneven and cheesy.

Candidate For Murder - 1951 - 5/10

A killer roams the London streets at night.
Headlines blare corpse number three, knife in its body.
We follow the “perpetrator” throughout then next day.
Mystery short borders on Experimental, using rapid editing, atypical of the 1950’s.
I sought this out as it is a rare Oswell Blakeston scripted film.

Murphy, Damian - The Acephalic Imperial

Wayward spirit, Séverine, accepts a role in an unorthodox household.
Not a maid, not a servant, but as an observer, a watcher.
With instructions from her employer, Vital, to steal stray items occasionally.
Tasks are simple enough, and a change from the usual lethargy inducing jobs.
Séverine is a hired voyeur, aware that she herself, her activities are also observed.
The novella is increasingly steeped in a dream fugue.
The house, which is sumptuously furnished, along with her moonlit hours, influence her.
An alternate history emerges, perhaps a more aware doppelganger.
Murphy’s prose can be knotty at times, but never overbearing, and the wordplay is something to savor.

The Square - 2008 - 7/10

Land developer Ray is building a recreation area for future, affluent punters.
A classic fiddle type, he extorts a kickback from a contractor.
And plays pole in the hole with a younger, fetching neighbor.
He’s married, she’s married, but if it feels good, what’s the harm?
Plenty. Carla is wed to a violent man, with a huge stash of cash hidden in the house.
She urges Ray to “do something” so they can run away.
Australian Neo-Noir has a few innocents, but most are tainted souls.
As with most half-baked plans, when thing start to go wrong, events spread like brush fire.

Alibi For Murder - 1936 - 6/10

Radio reporter Perry persistently tries to interview the world famous scientist.
He is even at the home of the extremely private man when Dr. Foster commits suicide.
Except Perry, and the scientist’s plucky secretary, Lois, suspect murder.
Police pooh-pooh his theory, until warning notes are sent, along with bullets.
Fast-paced programmer makes a diverting B-mystery.

Tower Of London - 1939 - 6/10

Bold, historically inaccurate retelling of Richard III and his power grab.
Why wait for succession when one can murder the way to the throne?
Rathbone and Karloff as the evil usurper and his murderous henchman.
Elsewhere, there are plenty from Hollywood’s British colony (and Commonwealth).
Gothic sets and lightning, a tone bordering on Horror, treachery run wild.

I’ve Loved You So Long - 2008 - 7/10
AKA - Il y a Longtemps Que je t’aime

Juliette sits in the airport lobby and waits, and waits.
Eventually her younger sister Léa arrives and drives Juliette to her home.
Throughout, Juliette remains sullen and non-communicative.
Even after meeting two adopted children, husband, grandfather.
Turns out, Juliette had been spending 15 years in prison.
Gradually, reasons and motives are teased out.
Character study of immense grief and heavy guilt.
Quietly avoids emotional outbursts and overacting.

Anchoress - 1991 - 7/10

Christine, working the English fields in the 1300’s stands transfixed, watching the Virgin Mary stature arrive.
Seemingly blessed, Christine agrees to be confined in a small dwelling attached to the church.
A holy anchoress, an intermediary between the flesh and the Divine.
The faithful seek her out, for answers, for guidance, for succor.
Conflict arises with the self-righteous priest, as her answers do not always align with dogma.
Greater conflict between her midwife mother, and the priest, who declares her a witch.

Extremely slow film, black and white arthouse, similar to Book Of Days.
Filled with arresting images, yet one never knows if Christine is truly visionary, or a simpleton.
English subtitles = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3362252

Ashe, Rosalind - Moths

Oxford don Harry Harris comes across Dower House, a bit worse for the years.
Nevertheless, this is a spacious beauty, faded, neglected, needing care and expense.
Developers, hoteliers, loud sorts, all are primed at the auction.
Fortunately, the couple Harry backs, Nemo and Peter, carry the day, and get the house.
Along with a wayward spirit, Sarah Moore, Regency actress, dead over 150 years.
The story is an under-the-skin thriller, with three compelling characters.
Nemo (Latin for no one), Sarah (murderous, lascivious) and Dower House itself.
Throughout, Harry observes and narrates, meddles, grows obsessive. Harry is a dishrag.
An over-aged worshiper, his increasing presence takes me away from the other three, the three I would prefer to be with.
Despite a few detours, the pace gathers momentum until a heady conclusion.
While I enjoyed this, I longed for more Nemo, much more.

See No Evil - 1971 - 6/10

After an accident, Sarah is blind.
She returns to her aunt and uncle’s country estate and beings to navigate.
How to live sightless for the rest of her days.
Even when a psychopath invades the home, stealthily with deadly intent.
For the audience, all we see are the menacing boots, prized by the wearer.
Mia Farrow plays the blind Sarah. Good use of rural locations and misdirection.
Slow pace, yet rewarding for patient fans of quiet thrillers.

Eye Of The Spider - 1971 - 5/10
AKA - L’occhio del Ragno

Convict Paul is freed from a prison transport van.
He was part of a three-man jewel heist earlier, but abandoned by his mates.
The mastermind (a bored Van Johnson) gets him out to recover the jewels and loot.
Paul wants likewise, but also revenge, so he keeps getting sidetracked.
This one predates the era of Euro-Crime, so the violence, chases, energy are all pretty low.
Despite nudity and Kinski, this feels / looks like TV. The Sweeney or Starsky & Hutch.
There was one scene where Paul driving a Citroen was chased by baddies in a ‘64 Corvair.
One was a rally sports car, the other my grandmother drove. I watched and laughed.

Traitor’s Gate - 1964 - 6/10
AKA - Das Verrätertor

Graham is busted out of Dartmoor, then helicoptered into London.
Reason? He’s a dead ringer for one of the Tower guards, Dick.
Once you realize the Tower Of London, you grasp the plot.
Caper film. Heist. Stealing the Crown Jewels.
Alright Krimi, based on Edgar Wallace, is great for shots of vintage England.
Some comic relief from a curious busybody, but it is minimal.
Kinski best as the ruthless right hand man and crew captain.

Dr. Jekyll’s Mistresses - 1964 - 6/10
AKA - El Secreto del Dr. Orloff

Middling Gothic Horror outing, well composed yet the plot is weak.
On his deathbed, Dr. Orloff shares with his most gifted pupil, Dr. Fisherman, the secret of immortality.
Actually, it Is more like reanimation, which Fisherman employs to revive his murdered brother.
Whom he then controls and sends out to kill some females because … I don’t know.
Side story involves a flirtatious romance between niece Melissa and a cute taxi driver.
Songs, nightclub scenes and police investigations round out a muddled film.

Ayckbourn, Alan - The Divide

A lethal STD pandemic is annihilating humankind. Women carry, exposed men perish. Within a few generations, adios folks.
Solution: divide the genders. Men in the North, women in the South. Wait for the disease to die out.
Generations play out; now young male Eilhu and female Giella discover hormones and libido.
Epistolary novel, set in the near future, predominantly in the female South, is NOT a dystopian saga.
Society works fairly well, although there are glimpses of discontent. Attitudes are divided between Orthodox, Moderates and Progressives.
Being epistolary, the narrative is carried by diaries, letters and memorandums.
Because so much of this is told by young Soween, I am putting this into Young Adult reading, despite some of the spicy activities.
Main characters are teenagers, yet they seem like teens from the 1940’s or much earlier.
I had trouble buying them.
There are four seasons. Winter, Spring, Summer, Autumn. Each season has 30 days.
After 200 pages, the adults predominate and the energy boosts.
By using different fonts, each character their own handwriting. That was a creative touch.
Fans of the playwright might be tempted, but this not a comedy of manners. It is an old-fashioned, VERY old-fashioned love story.