I expected a princess. I got a military commander. Didn't ring 100% right with me.
She was much more of a military leader than a princess. Especially when we get to Empire. Her planet has been destroyed, so she isn't even a princess anymore. The "Princess" thing was used heavily in ANH because she was claiming she had no ties to the rebellion- which of course was a lie. She grew up with the founders of the rebellion, so she's been a part of this her entire life. Also, giving orders hardly takes military experience. In that scene she is merely passing on information/orders.
Also, I've seen several posts about Luke and Leia's kiss in ESB and how it should be cut, or cut the revelation that she's his sister in ROTJ to avoid some kind of incestuous overtones. If anybody really thinks there was some kinda "love triangle" between Luke Leia and Han, then I doubt they've ever had much luck with the ladies. The moment Luke meets Leia it is clear that she has no romantic interest in him yet the moment she meets Han, the sparks fly- lot's of sarcasm and bickering (which is usually flirting) but it also leads to some off hand compliments ("you're braver than i thought."). I mean, sure, Luke was attracted to her and all, but there was never a moment where it seemed that they would end up together.