oojason

User Group: Members
Join date: 5-May-2004
Last activity: 24-Apr-2024
Posts: 8,068

Post History

Post: #95191
Topic: Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/95191/action/topic#95191
Time: 3-Mar-2005 7:31 AM

A guy with a black eye boards his plane and sits down in his seat. He
notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He
says
to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I
ask
how you got yours?" The other guy says, "Well, it just happened. It was
a
tongue twister accident.

See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the

most massive breasts in the world was there So, instead of saying, 'I'd
like two tickets to Pittsburgh', I accidentally said, 'I'd like two
pickets to

Tittsburgh'...........So she socked me a good one."

The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue
twister too. I was at the breakfast table this morning and I wanted to
say
to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.' But I
accidentally
said, 'you ruined my life you evil bitch'...

Post: #95190
Topic: Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/95190/action/topic#95190
Time: 3-Mar-2005 7:30 AM

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic
condoms.
Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he
announces to his wife the purchase he just made. "Olympic condoms?"

she blurts,

"What makes them so special?" "There are three colours", he replies,
"Gold, Silver and Bronze".

What colour are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily."

Gold of course", says the man proudly.

The wife responds," Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you
came second for a change!"

Post: #95189
Topic: Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/95189/action/topic#95189
Time: 3-Mar-2005 7:29 AM

A man rushes home, bursting through the front door of his house
yelling to his wife, "Pack your bags baby, I just won the lottery!

All £10,000,000...."

"Woooohooo!!!! That's great sweetie" she replies.

"Do I pack for the beach or the mountains?"

Who cares", he replies, "Just f**k off!"

Post: #94973
Topic: Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/94973/action/topic#94973
Time: 1-Mar-2005 11:16 AM

Bossk - Dando (Jill Dando) was a BBC reporter/presenter who was murdered a couple of years ago.

A golden oldie:-

THE WEDDING TEST

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided
to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends
encouraged me.

My girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me.
That one thing was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight
miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when
near me, and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.
It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone
else.

One day little sister calls and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived.
She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had
feelings and desires for me that she could not overcome and did not
really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to
me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and could not say a word. She said, "I'm going
upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come
up and get me."

I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the
stairs. When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and
threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned
and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of
the house and walked straight toward my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes
he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our
little test. We could not ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family!"

The moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

Post: #94928
Topic: Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/94928/action/topic#94928
Time: 28-Feb-2005 10:21 PM

All in my last post from the Edinburgh Fringe comedy Festival - or so I was told in the email a m8 sent me, so a little Brit based in it's humour

Post: #94811
Topic: Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/94811/action/topic#94811
Time: 28-Feb-2005 10:55 AM

The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died... Dido must be shitting herself.

My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night.

Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks?

My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when I was two, 'cause they wanted me to sound like a tw*t.

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All right, but we're not going to get much done."

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "S**t, I wasn't listening ... Self-raising?"

The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and punched someone in the face.

Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".

I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take the Girl out of Cork...

Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax.

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.

Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you on its hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it as well.

A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please". The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join the circus?" The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a plumber".

Hey - you want to feel really handsome? Go shopping at Asda.

I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've already got one!"

It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.

I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not very good at it.

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign: "This door is alarmed." I said to myself: "How do you think I feel?"

Post: #94641
Topic: Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/94641/action/topic#94641
Time: 26-Feb-2005 1:21 PM

LMAO

Post: #94047
Topic: Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/94047/action/topic#94047
Time: 21-Feb-2005 12:04 PM

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off - go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum
deodorant.

The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell
rectum deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the
;stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.

I'm sorry;, says the pharmacist, we don't have any

But I always buy it here,says the blonde.

Do you have the container that it came in?; asks the pharmacist

YES, said the blonde, I'll go home and get it;

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks
at ;it and says to her;This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from
the container, TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM.

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails.

A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.

The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."

Post: #93782
Topic: Battlestar Galactica
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/93782/action/topic#93782
Time: 17-Feb-2005 3:55 PM

already posted in the 'beautiful women' thread, but thought I'd post it here too...

some Grace Park (Boomer) maxim style pics:-

http://www.trekbbs.com/threads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB11&Number=4017722&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=7&fpart=1

the thread also says that Tricia Helfer (Six) has done a maxim photo shoot too

Post: #93779
Topic: Beautiful Women
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/93779/action/topic#93779
Time: 17-Feb-2005 3:51 PM

Anyone who fancies Grace Park (Boomer from the new Battlestar Galactica series) may want to check this Maxim photospread based thread out:-

http://www.trekbbs.com/threads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB11&Number=4017722&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=7&fpart=1

also states that Tricia Helfer (Six) has also done some Maxim shots too

Post: #93727
Topic: Advice on how to achieve your evil plans...
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/93727/action/topic#93727
Time: 17-Feb-2005 4:37 AM — Edited 22-Sep-2018 7:49 AM

From revenge on an ex or boss to your plans for achieving world domination:-

http://www.darksites.com/evilplan.php

Mine was:-

Your objective is simple: World Domination.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Evil - It’s my nature

Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first incinerate a chosen one. This will cause the world to sense a grave disturbance in the force, horrified by your arrival. Who is this unholy menace? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in your wizard’s robes?

Stage Two
Next, you must disintegrate the Moon (ooh, tides!). This will all be done from a space station, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will spontaneously combust, as countless hordes of the undead hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three
Finally, you must send forth your plague of doom, bringing about the end of all things. Your name shall become synonymous with dear god no, and no man will ever again dare fire you. Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity, and the world will have no choice but to give you control of the planet.

though I’ll have my tea and watch Desperate Housewives first…

Post: #93400
Topic: Battlestar Galactica
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/93400/action/topic#93400
Time: 15-Feb-2005 2:41 AM

TheSessler - not sure m8, the mini-series Region 1 dvd had more extras than the region 2 miniseries dvd... though I imagine both region sets would have the deleted scenes.

Post: #93338
Topic: Battlestar Galactica
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/93338/action/topic#93338
Time: 14-Feb-2005 12:12 PM

Post: #92870
Topic: Battlestar Galactica
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/92870/action/topic#92870
Time: 10-Feb-2005 4:30 AM

2nd season confirmed:-

http://www.scifi.com/scifiwire2005/index.php?category=0&id=30357

"SCI FI Channel has ordered a second season of its hit series Battlestar Galactica, which has aired five episodes its first season of 13 episodes. Details of the renewal—including which cast members will return, how many episodes will be produced and when the second season will commence—were still being worked out at press time.

Battlestar Galactica has been a ratings winner for SCI FI since its Jan. 14 premiere. The latest episode, Feb. 4's "You Can't Go Home Again," scored the show's best ratings yet, with 3.2 million viewers.

For the show's second season, creator and executive producer Ronald D. Moore previously told SCI FI Wire that he has already been working on as many as six new scripts to resolve the multiple cliffhangers that will end season one. Moore added that he wants to delve deeper into the show's religious themes and open up the Cylon world a bit more in the coming season. Moore continues to post his thoughts on a personal blog on SCIFI.COM. Battlestar Galactica airs Fridays at 10 p.m. ET/PT, part of the channel's SCI FI Fridays lineup."

Great news

Post: #92634
Topic: Battlestar Galactica
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/92634/action/topic#92634
Time: 9-Feb-2005 1:29 AM

Quote
Originally posted by: Shimraa
oojason have you seen the entire series yet?

I have indeed - and thoroughly enjoyed it too.

Didn't even have to persuade the missus to miss her Coronation St and EastEnders that much on a Monday night

Really like the 'handheld cam' thing for the battle scenes - havn't watched Firefly, so it's pretty new and original angle to go with, for me.

Six and Baltar crack me up - some of the best lines/scenes go to these two, deservedly so too. Great chemistry.

Post: #92430
Topic: Battlestar Galactica
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/92430/action/topic#92430
Time: 8-Feb-2005 4:28 AM

Some intriguing deleted scenes from the 1st season:-

http://www.scifi.com/battlestar/episodes/season01/101/

I hope they make it onto the region 2 dvd boxset, here (not many details at the moment):-

http://www.play.com/play247.asp?page=title&r=R2&title=581474

Post: #92429
Topic: Battlestar Galactica
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/92429/action/topic#92429
Time: 8-Feb-2005 4:24 AM

^ then... ?

Post: #91926
Topic: Battlestar Galactica
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/91926/action/topic#91926
Time: 5-Feb-2005 4:58 AM

great news m8

more solid sci-fi on tv can only be good news

and should be interesting to see how they resolve events of the last episode of the 1st series...

Post: #91788
Topic: Battlestar Galactica
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/91788/action/topic#91788
Time: 4-Feb-2005 4:11 AM

Most innovative and interesting sci-fi show in years.

Luckily us UK'ers have now seen the whole of the 1st series - and what a series it is. Characters that interact well with each other, non-hammy actors, breathtaking scenes in both CGI and quality of acting, intriguing stories - free of technobabble & moralistic and tidy endings, an enemy whose motives are not clear-cut - but VERY menacing, as well as some of the best risque gags that's been on tv for while

Also has a truely great B-story running throughout the entire season - which leads you to all sorts of questions and possibilites.

Hope this series gets a 2nd season - it definately deserves one.

The region 2 dvd for the 1st season is out soon too!

Some cool BSG BBS (1 of which you can ask some of the actors questions, the other has Chief Tyrol as a poster):-

http://www.ragnaranchorage.tk/

http://www.mediablvd.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=180

Post: #88073
Topic: Discussion: ODD, but kinda cool New Star Wars Toy...
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/88073/action/topic#88073
Time: 21-Jan-2005 4:07 AM

Absolute disgrace - is there nothing that these huge corporations won't do to turn a fast buck by flogging some cheap crap aimed at kids who will no doubt nag their parents into submission?

Mr Potato Head - you have really overstepped the mark this time...

Post: #87925
Topic: Who has caved?
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/87925/action/topic#87925
Time: 20-Jan-2005 1:42 PM

Option 1 for me - have seen a m8's set, and wouldn't mind the bonus disc.

I'm more than happy with my TR47 and Gonzo sets, and will hopefully get my hands on the forthcoming XO set too

Post: #87707
Topic: Spidernap DVD Covers
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/87707/action/topic#87707
Time: 19-Jan-2005 7:43 PM — Edited 11-Jul-2017 6:30 AM

2017 edit 😉 -

The quality Spidernap covers for the MagnoliaFan Edits can be found here:-

Episode 1:-

Minion

http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z28/maplefootball/spidernap_balanceofhteforce_zpsfnb1u8qk.jpg

and

Episode 2:-

Minion

http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z28/maplefootball/spidernap_theclonewar_zps6cyw1n2t.jpg

and can also be found to view and download from this googledrive (amongst many other covers), here:-

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0ByfjLkYDj7bROVVsSXFCQWxvS1k

IIRC Spidernap posted a huge worksheet of his differing covers in the dvd cover thread in this forum - not sure if it’s still up - or has gone past it’s bandwidth etc…

a lot of pages to search in that thread too! doh.

Post: #87706
Topic: .: The Zion DVD Project :. (Released)
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/87706/action/topic#87706
Time: 19-Jan-2005 7:39 PM

Nice work, Zion.

Post: #87489
Topic: Spidernap DVD Covers
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/87489/action/topic#87489
Time: 19-Jan-2005 9:49 AM

Try here m8:-

Grisan's excellent cover library

Post: #87234
Topic: <strong>The "EditDroid" Trilogy DVD Info and Feedback Thread</strong> (Released)
Link: https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/87234/action/topic#87234
Time: 18-Jan-2005 7:38 PM

Impressive looking dvd - with some great choices.

*** LOTS OF INFO ON HOW THESE DISCS WERE MADE APPEAR ON PAGE 6 OF THIS THREAD ***

Great menus and superb choice of artwork for them too.

Sourced from the 1993 Definitive Collection Laserdiscs (ntsc?) in Letterbox widescreen, with isolated music score option, and some specific dvd covers - nice touches all around.