lerenor

The problem hinges really on how central the Death Star 2 is to the plot of ROTJ (annoyingly repetitive as it may be), as the macguffin being protected by the shield generator in the first place and the cornerstone of the emperor’s trap for the rebellion (he doesn’t just want to lure them into a space battle, but specifically in to one with (what they don’t yet realise is) a ‘fully operational’ and pretty much impregnable battle station. this specifically translates into the tactics of the endor battle; the plot necessity of lowering the death star shield and the need to engage the imperial starfleet at close range rather than being picked off by the super-laser. So, even in the spirit of radical redux, some kind of macguffin in place of the DS2 really needs to be kept for the plot to revolve around (maybe not another death star but some kind of powerful super-object/weapon; I know there was some talk in the sequel thread about making starkiller base a ‘star forge’ so maybe it could be some kind of reactor - Coruscant’s main energy source or something which doubles as a big gun in palp’s evil plan?). So the third act structure in this proposed outline would have three main locations; the Capital with Luke, Vader and the Emperor; the ‘Sanctuary moon’ with Han, Leia, chewie and the droids; and the ‘DS2’ (or equivalent) with Lando et al in orbit of Coruscant/the sanctuary moon.

You can see here why the choice was probably made to condense the luke/vader/emperor action into taking place on the DS2 - as it means one less location to establish. But in the spirit of radical redux I think it could probably be separated out again in a more ‘workable’ kind of way; set all the vader/emperor stuff in ‘the capital’ with new establishing shots, maybe tweak some of the mon mothma briefing exposition to set up the relationship between the capital planet, the moon and the macguffin station (making it a power plant rather than a new death star for instance if you wanted to go down that route). Luke and co would then go to the forest moon as usual, the emperor would instruct vader to go there to get luke and luke would return with him to the capital. as an aside; It would be fun to see the emperor’s throne room as the spire of the imperial palace (the former jedi temple) and provide a nice mirror to anakin skywalker’s fall in ROTS by setting his redemption in the same place (as well as seeing what’s happened to the jedi temple under 20 years of imperial rule). In such a way you probably wouldn’t have to change much of the throne room scenes (you could just say that the windows are dark because its nighttime, maybe add a few building lights in the background here and there); though the underground lava chamber idea is also cool if more difficult to execute. The battle then continues, perhaps with Han and Leia sacrificing themselves to bring down the ‘DS2’ shield, lando et al destroying the reactor and proceeding to storm the capital as vader kills the emperor etc…

Been working on a three in one edit myself and been thinking a bit about this problem. Thinking maybe add some comms chatter voice-over to the opening battle? Sort of like how it’s been done in this video; https://youtu.be/hlecG3nYaLw
All you’d need is a line or two along the lines of ‘the Chancellor’s ship has fallen’,‘the Chancellor’s been taken prisoner!’ ‘all units converge on general grievous’ ship’ or something like that. You’d have to record new dialogue though and maybe find someone with a Kiwi accent hahah 😉

This would be my ideal outline for a last Jedi edit, which keeps most of the thematically interesting material of the film but tightens and restructures the plot to remove the bloat and baggage, and weird decisions like making the casino plot a side quest in the middle of another plot, which then consequently drags on for way too long. This is accomplished essentially by moving canto Bight to the opening as the 'prologue’action beat, then slowing down somewhat for rey and Luke on ach-to, and the character development with Kylo, then building into a tighter paced third act where the flight from the resistance base, the aborted mutiny, the confrontation with snoke, the godspeed maneuver, and the final showdown on crait all happen in quick succession. The only concern I have with this restructuring is Rose, and her introduction as a character, and the relationship with her sister, who wouldn’t die until the beginning of the third act in this edit. I’ll be looking to see if I can get around this problem on the next viewing. Would be interested in getting feedback on the idea so far though.

Episode VIII
The Last Jedi

The capital of the republic has been destroyed. Able to track the last members of the resistance through Hyperspace, The evil First Order now pursues them to their hidden base.

As they prepare to evacuate the planet their last chance for escape may lie with a mysterious code breaker who will allow them to slip through the shields of the First Order command ship and disable the tracker.

Yet as Finn leads a small team to find the code breaker it may be too late even for the return of Jedi master Luke Skywalker to save the resistance…

Resistance fighters led by General Leia Organa begin preparations for the evacuation.

Finn, Rose and BB-8 acquire the help of the hacker DJ at the Canto Bight casino, who says he can help them disable the tracking device. They run in with the authorities and the mercenary arms dealing clientele of the casino, and narrowly escape on a stolen ship with the help of the child slaves at the casino racecourse, after leading a fathier chase through the streets of the old city.

Meanwhile, Rey has arrived on remote Ahch-To with Chewbacca and R2-D2 aboard the Millennium Falcon to recruit Luke Skywalker to the Resistance. Disillusioned by the failures of the Jedi and under self-imposed exile from the Force, Luke refuses, even after he learns from Rey of Han Solo’s death. Unknown to Luke, Rey and Kylo begin communicating through telepathic visions. Prompted by R2-D2, Luke agrees to teach Rey the ways of the Force. Luke and Kylo give Rey differing accounts of the incident that turned Kylo to the dark side; Luke confesses that he momentarily contemplated killing Kylo upon sensing that Supreme Leader Snoke had corrupted him, causing Kylo to destroy Luke’s emergent Jedi Order in retaliation. Convinced that Kylo can be redeemed, Rey leaves Ahch-To to confront Kylo without Luke.

a First Order fleet arrives at the resistance base. Following an effective but costly counterattack led by Poe Dameron, Resistance fighters manage to destroy a First Order dreadnought, before the Resistance vessels jump into hyperspace to escape, but the First Order pursues them using the tracking device. Kylo Ren destroys the Resistance support fighters, but hesitates to fire at the lead Resistance ship, after sensing his mother’s presence. However, TIE fighters destroy the bridge of the ship, incapacitating Leia, who only survives by using the Force. Command falls to Vice Admiral Holdo. Holdo reveals her plan to discreetly evacuate the remaining Resistance members using small transports. Believing her actions cowardly and risky, Poe instigates a mutiny.

Finn’s party returns to the fleet and infiltrates Snoke’s ship, but is captured by Captain Phasma. The mutiny is aborted when Leia recovers and stuns Poe, allowing the evacuation to begin. Holdo remains on the ship to mislead Snoke’s fleet as the others flee to a nearby old Rebel Alliance base on Crait.

Meanwhile, Rey lands on the command ship, and Kylo brings her to Snoke, who reveals that he controlled the mental connection between her and Kylo as part of a plan to destroy Luke. Ordered to kill Rey, Kylo instead kills Snoke and works together with Rey to kill Snoke’s elite guards. Kylo invites Rey to rule the galaxy with him, but Rey refuses. Using the Force, they struggle for possession of Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber, which splits in two.

DJ reveals the Resistance’s plan to the First Order, and the evacuation transports are targeted with heavy losses; Holdo sacrifices herself by ramming Snoke’s fleet at lightspeed to stop the barrage, inflicting massive casualties on the First Order. Rey escapes in the chaos, while Kylo declares himself Supreme Leader.

Finn, Rose and BB-8 pilot a stolen imperial shuttle to join the survivors of the evacuation on Crait. When the First Order arrives, Poe, Finn, and Rose lead a charge with old speeders. Rey draws the TIE fighters away with the Falcon, while Rose saves Finn from a suicide run against the main enemy cannon, which blasts a hole in the Resistance fortress.

As all seems lost, Luke appears and confronts the First Order so the surviving Resistance fighters can escape. Kylo orders the First Order forces to fire on Luke to no effect, then engages Luke in battle. Kylo strikes Luke with his lightsaber, but it passes through him. Luke tells Kylo he will not be the last Jedi, while Rey uses the Force to help the Resistance fighters escape on the Falcon. His journey complete, Luke vanishes into the Force.

Leia reassures everyone that the rebellion has all it needs to rise again. On Canto Bight, one of the children that helped Finn and Rose escape grabs a broom with the Force and gazes into space.

ok awesome, thanks silverwook 😃 I’ve added some indicative screencaps to go along with the writeup in the first post to give an idea of colour changes and ‘feel’ of the edit 😃 Bout to start uni again tomorrow, so this might be put a bit on the backburner for a while, but hopefully it sparks some ideas or something 😃

ahh, it appears you guys don’t like that kind of direct link. Sorry about that. I did read the rules thread that’s stickied on the fanedit page but I didn’t realise there was another one as well. Are screencaps ok to post here? And can such a link be requested via pm or just not at all?

REDACTED Please read the rules.
http://originaltrilogy.com/announcement/Fan-edit-preservation-forum-rules-and-FAQ/id/5950

I’ve never actually used dropbox before but hopefully this works. Apologies for the dodgy bits as this is still quite unfinished, particularly in the audio department. from about where the clones turn up the colour changes are almost where I want them to be.

Ahh, I forgot to mention recolouring will be a big part of this edit, so hopefully that will help sell some of the changes.

regarding the ‘3 padmes’; The Queen of Naboo will be portman in episode 1 in makeup and will only show up as an ‘ally of palpatine’ in the opening coruscant scenes (maybe at the end as well). Princess of Abaddon will be played by knightley and will only be a bit part in scenes with quigon and obiwan (really just the escape from Abaddon). “Padme” will then be Portman from episode 2 who looks and sounds completely different anyway. there might be some confusion between the bit part characters but hopefully that can be smoothed over. At the moment it cuts straight from “The Queen” on coruscant saying she’s returning to naboo to “The Princess” on Abaddon being rescued by the jedi, so hopefully that will make it clear that they’re not meant to be the same character.

likewise we never actually see naboo in this edit, only ‘Abaddon’ where the princess is rescued, and ‘Alderaan’ where Padme and Anakin travel in act 2. Because the locations used in episode 1 and 2 are different I’m hoping through different establishing shots that these locations can be effectively separated (Abaddon becomes monumental ancient Italianate city, Alderaan mountainous lake country town. ‘Naboo’ would just be a random planet (that’s also been invaded by the rebel’s) that Palpatine and “the Queen” happen to come from.

I’ll also be completely recolouring ‘Geonosis’ (including the bits stolen from tatooine in episode 1) to a dark grey twilight landscape to help distinguish it from Tatooine. And yes, ‘Duku’ will be rocking a purple lightsabre. Hopefully the sith in this movie will be a kind of ‘what the?’ spooky forshadowing for their real revelation in the next film, so you kinda think maybe maul is with Duku until the end, when Mace reveals he was a sith and you’re like ‘oh shit’

Yeah the ‘romance’ is horrible and I’ll be trying to cut as much of it as possible and leave it at looks/brief comments and an implied history that the two shared before the film for the most part. The trick will of course be doing it and not having it come out of nowhere at the end. And I sorta like the criticism of the Jedi (I’ve always seen the prequels, or at least what they should be, as ‘the OT from the perspective of the empire, but 2/3rds through obiwan and yoda and maybe a few others realise they’re working for the baddies’ which implies some moral ambiguity on their part) but I understand why you don’t like that direction for characters that were always just ‘good guys’ in the originals.

And yeah, there may need to be some work to get the ‘Control Code’ to function as a proper Macguffin. There might need to be some scene accompanying the rescue where the jedi get the princess but the Federation get away with the code, perhaps showing one of their ships jumping to hyperspace? that would then initiate obiwan’s “follow the code” and a pursuit to geonosis.

thanks for the feedback all 😃 its been good to have some extra things to think about. I have a very rough clip of the third act that I’ll hopefully be able to put up somewhere soon, as well as some screenshots of the colour changes.

So, it’s another prequel fan edit thread. There’s just something about these movies that makes them so tantalising. You can tell there’s a compelling story in there somewhere, but yet the way they reached theatres they’re almost painful to watch. I’ve seen a lot of prequel fan edits and I think a common problem people face is what exactly to do with the phantom menace? often I see this has been solved by just tacking the duel with darth maul onto the beginning of a fanedit and then forgetting about it. But there are at least some endearing moments in the film and I wanted to see if they could be kept in a way that not only makes them better but that makes the rest of the film its included with better as well. With that in mind I decided that if I wanted to see this edit I would have to make it myself.

I must admit this is my first post here (hello!) and also my first edit of this kind of length or complexity, so it may be a little amateurish when finished, but I hope it will satisfy my own desires at least when finished and maybe inspire other (more skilled) editors in their own projects. I have a rough work print almost finished, and hopefully will be able to add some screenshots and clips from that in the next few days (though I’m about to go back to uni and that has a habit of getting in the way). With that said, here is my draft outline for STAR WARS: AN EMPIRE DIVIDED. comments and feedback would be greatly appreciated.

STAR WARS

AN EMPIRE DIVIDED

It has been a thousand years of peace since the JEDI KNIGHTS of the GALACTIC REPUBLIC defeated the evil SITH EMPIRE. Now, following restrictions on droid labor in the provinces in favour of clones, a SEPARATIST Rebellion of industrial worlds has risen led by rogue JEDI Count Duku.

Using their CONTROL CODE to the Republic’s Droid Armies the greedy Trade Federation has joined the separatists, taking hostage the Princess of Al Abaddon.

With the Senate deadlocked on the use of a CLONED HUMAN ARMY against the droids, the remaining Jedi are powerless to act. Disobeying their orders, Jedi Masters Qui-Gon Gin and Obi Wan Kenobi race to retrieve the control code and rescue the Princess…

http://i1070.photobucket.com/albums/u497/lerenor/JeremyMWest s Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace The Anti-Cheese Edit.00_01_53_19.Still005_zpscujw3xjy.png

http://i1070.photobucket.com/albums/u497/lerenor/JeremyMWest s Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace The Anti-Cheese Edit.00_02_21_25.Still007_zpscugfds4c.png

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Opening of TPM cut to be a bit snappier. Qui-gon and Obi-wan attacking the trade fed fleet (dubbed in new sirens and lasers). Straight to the droids opening the smoke filled hangar, jedi cutting down droids (mirroring ANH opening). Close on TF bridge door as it begins to melt away.

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TPM Senate scene. Vote of no confidence in Valorum by QUEEN OF NABOO (no longer Amidala). Palpatine’s intro as scheming senator

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Plane bombing from opening of AOTC. Introduction of senator PADME AMIDALA.

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Establishing scene of Obi-wan and Qui-Gon Cut from the opening sequence “be mindful of the living force”. Sneaking past the droids in the hangar “Rendezvous on the planet” (Al abbadon, not Naboo)

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Palpatine and Queen of Naboo office meeting, Palpatine’s candidacy “I will be chancellor”. Queen returns to besieged Naboo.

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Jedi rescue the princess from occupied ‘Al abbadon’ (Naboo in TPM) (again not Amidala or the princess but a third character. Make up and voice/actor changes between scenes and within the original films help pull this off).

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Battle in the naboo hangar and escaping the blockade fleet. Astromechs save the ship, but it’s suffered damage. They have just enough power to get to Geonosis, where the separatists have taken the code. (new dialogue here may be an issue, possibly inserting obi wans “follow the code” from TPM, panaka “you cant take her royal highness there!”)

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Padme addresses the senate deleted scene. Senators spoiling for war, padme emplores them to see reason.

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Palpatines conference with the Jedi, MACE WINDU and YODA. The Dark side is introduced “clouding everything”. Padme enters, palpatine suggests jedi protection; “perhaps master skywalker, who guarded you during the blockade crisis” (some historical event in this continuity)

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The Jedi and co land on Geonosis, a dark, inhospitable desert planet. Conversation between obiwan and quigon about the broken hyperdrive.

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Padme and ANAKIN SKYWALKER disembark from a bus on the way to corruscant space port. This way Anakin is introduced in a han solo-esque fashion midway into the film.

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Qui gon and obi wan explore the city on geonosis. (Echoes of obi wan sneaking around on the death star) The two jedi overhear Duku’s conversation with the separatist leaders (and maybe some of duku’s conversation with captured obiwan from aotc).

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Anakin and Padme on the refugee ship, discussing the orthodoxy of the jedi council “Are you allowed to love?”

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Anakin and Padme arriving on ALDERAAN (naboo + alderaan establishing shot from rots)

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A shadowy figure arrives on Geonosis in a TIE-esque spacecraft. He sends out probe droids in search of the jedi.

http://i1070.photobucket.com/albums/u497/lerenor/JeremyMWest s Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace The Anti-Cheese Edit.00_23_30_20.Still042_zpspv2pfo8w.png
Padme’s parents house deleted scene (minus anakin and dad) focusing on padme and her relationship with her parents. Talking to her mum about anakin.

http://i1070.photobucket.com/albums/u497/lerenor/JeremyMWest s Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace The Anti-Cheese Edit.00_24_53_01.Still044_zpsssvgkb6x.png
(Maybe the meadows scene?)

ANAKIN’S VISION

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Dream/vision sequence, shots of fire and anakin’s childhood. (quigon’s funeral?/vaders funeral/ obi-wan on mustafar?) dub over with Anakin’s conversation with shcmi as she dies, ending w “I love you”. Shmi and qui-gon, implying quigon may be Anakin’s father. Shmi suffering.

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Anakin wakes up. Conversation with Padme, “I have to go”

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Obi and Quigon return to the ship, sandstorm scene.

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Probe droids return to maul, and he takes off.

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http://i1070.photobucket.com/albums/u497/lerenor/JeremyMWest s Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace The Anti-Cheese Edit.00_44_14_13.Still060_zpskos1ce5h.png[/IMG][/URL]
Anakin and Padme arrive on Tatooine and talk to clieg, owen and beru, Anakin goes after Schmi. Montage sequence. Schmi’s death (minus dialogue) no tusken slaughter. R2 recieves a communication from obiwan. Anakin returns. Garage scene minus the admission of murder. “I hate them!” Padme comforts him “I’m a jedi, I should do better” (setting up how the jedi repression ends up screwing Anakin up) Schmi’s funeral.

http://i1070.photobucket.com/albums/u497/lerenor/JeremyMWest s Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace The Anti-Cheese Edit.00_44_36_08.Still061_zps9m85jgii.png
Anakin and padme relay the communication from obiwan to corruscant. “We’ve tracked the code to a planet called geonosis”. (cut out obiwans face so its not as weird that he looks completely different, basically only need to hear this line anyway) The communication is cut off by laser fire. Mace tells anakin and padme to stay put but they go off to rescue obiwan and quigon anyway.

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Mace and Yoda watch as Palpatine’s emergency powers are proclaimed and the army is officially formed. Mace will go to Geonosis.

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Anakin and Padme arrive on Geonosis, are quickly captured after a cutdown factory scene. Padme and Anakin are taken to confront duku (AOTC deleted scene). Duku tries to convince them of the legitimacy of his cause. “The republic is broken, we must start again”. They’re having none of it. They will be executed in the Geonosian games.

Geonosian games
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Cut down pod race scene showing the barbarity of the games. We follow sebulba who almost wins but is killed in a fiery and violent crash. Echoes of ben hur/50s sword and sandle epics.

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Anakin and padme wait in the staging area before being led to the arena. Padme “I love you”. anakin looks shocked and confused. Duku addresses the crowd. Arena scene minus obiwan (thanks george lucas, as all the actors appear to be filmed separately against green screen its ridiculously easy to remove obiwan entirely from this whole scene with simple cutting) Anakin and padme get the upper hand but then are surrounded by droids.

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Mace windu arrives “this party’s over”. Star destoyers jump into orbit and the jedi reveal themselves around the arena. Jedi army clashes against the droids. Republic fighters (naboo fighters) clash aganst federation base ships (from TPM end battle)Yoda and the Clones arrive, trash the droids and escape with the surviving jedi. Duku leaves as the republic troops fly away.

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Obi wan and Quigon (implied to be rescued by maces jedi offscreen) clash in hangar bay with droid troops. R2 and pilots load up into fighters and take off.

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Various geonosis battle scenes.

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Duku in rebel command center takes the control code (death star plans from AOTC)and flees.
R2 in the space battle attacking the rebel baseships.

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Jedi encounter Maul in the hangar “we’ll handle this” they fight maul into the power station.

Duku flees to the landing platform pursued by Anakin.

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R2 flies into the rebel baseship and destroys it from the inside. On the surface, the clones destroy the fleeing baseships.

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Maul duel continues to where the forcefield doors close. there is a moment of quiet.

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Anakin confronts count Duku in the landing hangar.

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The two duels continue intercutting from maul/quigon to Anakin/Duku. Suddenly, quigon is cut down. Obi wan screams “Nooooooo!” as Anakin likewise loses his arm. A moment of quiet as Duku contemplates what he’s done.

Obiwan stares down Maul, then the final battle begins as obiwan gives in to his anger. He almost defeats Maul but then loses his lightsabre and is pushed over the edge, narrowly clinging on.

Yoda comes to Anakin’s rescue. Duku drops a column on Anakin and flees. Yoda stops the column but Duku escapes as Padme arrives.

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Obiwan force pulls qui gons lightsabre and kills maul, then rushes to his friend’s side as he dies. Palpatine arrives on Naboo and congratulates Naboo Queen. Promises of Peace and Prosperity for the republic.

(Yoda and obiwan discuss anakins training?)

Quigon’s funeral. “Its no doubt the mysterious warrior was a sith” “Always two there are… a master, and an apprentice…” pan over to palpatine (imply that palpatine is the apprentice perhaps?).

Anakin and Padme’s wedding.

On coruscant clone troopers await deployment to the new war, loading onto waiting star destroyers. (Cut to the martial music from the medal ceremony in ANH) As the destroyers fly away, we cut to credits.