Perhaps it would work better if we saw the Jedi entering the system before the Arena battle began leaving the lead up free to follow with the anticipation building up in the background (keeping the audience thinking "Mace where are you?").
Hey SSWR, there is a 2002 videogame released for XBox, Gamecube and PlayStation 2 named SW: The Clone Wars and it features some CG scenes that you may find useful, I think... Check the trailer here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUqfOEfNMCI
And also some extra dialogue too, like...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Tcsj52ETvE&feature=related
Mace says, "Luminara, we need to find a safe place to land... Obi-Wan and Anakin do not have much time left" - that's not Samuel L. Jackson but sounds very close to the original voice!
Hope you find it useful.