Olde Wan Kenobi

Good sir, thy brow requireth some unfurrowing.

Good sir, thy spelling requireth some correction.

When side wingeth lain flat to the hull B-Wing's shape appears as a lower case "b". Such hast it always been presumed by my eye.

Or possibly a matter of, "We needeth a new name for ship"... "Let us proceedeth to next letter of alphabet!" by the creators?

Darth Lars said:

Somewhat off-topic:

When I saw TPM the first time, I thought first that Amidala's handmaidens were clones and that Palpatine and the Trade Federation was after Naboo's handmaiden-cloning technology. :-þ

Woweth in my moweth! Never before hast such a thought found its way to my noggin. Almost rings sensical for good tales too.

Methinks many a rampant young lad might find certain other uses for such machinery though.

Then arriveth this... this... this? These writings cometh from beyond all reason and with no certainty of point. Who among you can fathom the demented mind who took time to create such meaninglessness?

"Subject: URGENT : Former CenITex : UNIX SME held under the victorian mental health act. and has been forced into disclosing confidential information.

Hi et al 

I spent 29 days being held, spuriously, under the Victorian Mental Health Act. at the Peninsula Health facility, Frankston Hospital. The same amount of time, that all Melbournians, went without GAS Supplies after the Longford explosion. See my posts on------------- in regards to my recent comments made via MSOSUG. ( Its linked in the About page ).

After, my first appeal through the Mental Health Review Board failed, I successfully appealed, again through MHRB along with filling action through VCAT.

A Brief back ground, is currently unavailable due to technology problems, and the hospital, refusing to align any need for the correct procedures, and care for my health ( Localised Prostate Cancer ).

YYYMMDD Comments

20140512 Parents / Sister / ( Family ) : request phone call from peninsula mental health, in regards to myself 

requesting financial arrangements with family members to be finialised.

20140513 CATTEAM : See recordings, etc.

20140513 Committed to Frankston.

20140513 NV1 Position in Canberra with D.H.S. Finalised, they request start : 20140515 : along with confidentiality 

agreements, contracts to be finialised, A.S.A.P.

20140513 Follow up discussions, emails, etc, from DHS and unable to complete paper work due to my current restrictions.

20140602 Follow up discussions, emails, etc, from DHS and unable to complete paper work due to my current restrictions.

Regards,

Mark A. Lane © Mark A. Lane 1980 - 2014, All Rights Reserved.

Disclaimer : This email has been generated only to people who have sent me an email over the past few decades, to remove yourself from this email list, kindly ------- and fill out the feedback form available @ ------------/i-wish-to-be-removed-from-further-email-campaigns or -------------/mailman/listinfo/lists----------------"

And with that I bid thee goodnight from whereth I sitteth.

RicOlie_2 said:

I've forced myself out of Grammar Nazism as well, since he refuses to learn.

 He wouldeth if he couldeth but for the fact of sheness. Patience though dear grammatical pedants, she will learneth in time despiteth her many lackings.

But now, this nonsensical delivery from Sunday's box of wonderment:

"With all due respect, I want you to read my letter with one mind and help me. I am Nadia Gamad, The only daughter of late Mr. and Mrs. Gamad, My Late father was a very wealthy cocoa dealer in Lome Togo before he was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outing to discuss on a business deal.

When my mother died when she was given birth to me, my father took me so special because I am motherless. Before the death of my late father on 22nd June 2012 in a private hospital here in Lome Togo. He secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has a sum of USD6, 000,000.00 Six million United States dollars left in a suspense account in a local bank here in Lome Togo, that he used my name as his only daughter for the next of kin in deposit of the fund.

He also explained to me that it was because of this wealth that he was poisoned by his business associates that I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose, such real estate agent,

I am 17year old. Dear I am honorably seeking your assistance in the following ways.

1) To provide any bank account where this money would be transferred into.

2) To serve as the guardian of this fund.

3) To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my education and to secure a residential permit for me in your country.

Moreover, I am willing to offer you 35 percent of the total sum as compensation for your effort input after the successful transfer of this fund to your nominated account overseas.

I want you to help me not because of the 35 percent I want to offer you but to take me as your adoptive child and take good care of my life. Please save my life.

Hope to hear from you immediately for more details for you to receive the money so that I can be coming to your country immediately after you have receive the money so that I can continue my education while this money will be invested by you.

Thanks and God Bless.

Best regards,

Nadia Gamad."

Bless hearts of all involved, how hard they doth try!

Wives are known well for their lack of sporting savvy by those who seek to fling general statements of that kind around. Pay her no mind! But doth I credit my North American friends with too much sense? Nay, methinks they have at least as much as those who resideth within my country's borders. Never would I compare the intellects of either to my owneth of course, for I am a foolish sort and one who mighteth possibly harbour mental derangements many and varied.

Back on tracketh to Jacketh though. I must proclaimeth in a loud and shouty manner that the depiction of Londontown on this violent stage doth reek of candour and freshness of truth. 'Tis not often London is seen through such grimy eyes by those who come from afar to capture it for all to see. 'Tis of an unusual sight to not spot red post boxes, buses of doubled decks, beefeaters and the Thames. Olde Wan is impressed with the state of things.

If twill increaseth the tickle of thy funny bone in times to come then correcteth at will darth_ender. Hereth to learn!

I must enquireth of the well groomed and respectable viewership from acrosseth the pond in those most united of states... Wouldst thou have remained scratching thy noggins had the council estate = housing projects and myriad other cultural explainings not been elucidated for thee?

In the Kingdom of Unitedness, cultural tolerances, peace and harmony where this poster doth dwell such things are never found to be spelled out for us with such blatentfullness. Those who wonder are usually found to have correctly surmised after some thought has been applied and those who do not are usually found to be wondering about a great many other things.

The pointeth I do attempteth to reach is doest though feel talked down to by writing such as that? Explanations where none might have sufficed leaving the viewer no better off for having heard it?

Or doest though welcome it for clarity's sake? Do tell, American cousins!

Thou wilst never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than the Amazon marketplace my good Dr Crow. You must be cautious.

Needeth ladies of loose morals such as her it entirely doth not! The Bots of Spamdonia plunder and pillage with nary a thought for the trail of broken hearts they surely leave in their wake. Surely 'tis love's broken promises that linger longest?

This ancient thread receiveth my bumps for it speaks in similar terms of my mirthful mail. A comfort for me to hear I am not alone!

(Surely, boredom has not led to my perusal of old threads such as these? Oh not I, for indeed I have many uses for my time this day.)

'Tis the delightful Turks that sent it my way! ".tr" mystery solved.

Not that there is anything wrongeth with that sorteth of thing Ryan.

"how to stoppeth thy google chrome bookmarks from disappearing as if by magic"

As did happen to me quite unexpectedly this very day. Strangly, the search returneth no suitable assistance, twas written in plain English! My quest for answers continueth...

Double posteth, like fair Frink of tellyland!

T'would be just my luck to win prizes here having donated six months past with now retired olde Paypal account! Will lucky winners names be posted for all to see or will private carrier pigeon messengers be dispatched with the good news?

Tyrphanax said:

Olde Wan is my favourite new poster.

Flattery kind sir, getteth you a toothsome grin and a gentle peck (if thou ways swingeth toward my femininity.)

TV's Frink said:

Thine thread hast expired.

Thou hast spoken with wit but also with haste my handsome contemporary. Not all must post with such alarming regularity as thee! Judgeth not lest ye be judged, and will we find thee lacking too? Surely, for all are cut from the same cloth here! 'Tis all in fun, for the merriment of those who laugh with ease. Those who grump and sag under the weight of a laugh are surely better suited in forums foreign?

My box overfloweth with mirthful mail this sunny afternoon (sunny and post meridian where I art at any rate) and I am happy to shareth with thee, and with all. So as not to provoketh boredom I shall posteth but two - not being the sort to taketh a joke too far you understand ;)

Firsteth from the crapheap with similar sentiments to our fine friend Zam from two days past:

"ATTENTION DEAR;

PLEASE CONTACT MR.JIM WESLEY FOR THE DELIVERY OF YOUR ATM MASTER CARD.WHAT OF 2.8,MILLION DOLLARS, PLEASE NOTE THAT ALL YOU NEED TO SEND TO HIM IS THE DELIVERY CHARGES OF YOUR ATM CARD, KINDLY ACT FAST TO AVOID DEMUR-RAGE.

YOUR NAME;;;;

PHONE NUMBER;;

COUNTRY;;;

CITY;;;;

OCCUPATION;;

MY REGARDS YOURS BEN NAKA"

And then shortly, sweetly (and with decided underwhelming) an enticement of 80p for more garbage and possible viral infection - who among you could resist such an offer?

"Hello Anna,

We have a survey opportunity available for you. You can receive £0.80 ($1.35 USD) for 10 Minutes of your time!

Note for iPoll mobile app users: Since this is an online survey, you will only be able to complete it using a browser on your computer or tablet. This survey will not show up as a mission in the iPoll App. To access the survey you will need to click on the link above. You will be directed to iPoll.com where you will log in to your online account to participate. If you have any questions or comments please email us directly at support@surveyhelpcenter.com

Regards,

The iPoll Team"

But a query sitteth here for those with larger intellects than I...

From whereth on our planet does ye olde internet suffix ".tr" hail? 'Tis naught but gentle curiosity which compels me to ask but surely one among ye must know?

I shall do as I pleaseth. As Ewoks of the forest moon did surely prevaileth over an Empire's mighty force despite small stature and copious fur so shall Olde Wan overcome pedantic posters such as you, learned sir!

To the topic at hand or away with ye!

Lest ye forget, his human hand cleaved clean from his body by the duplicitous Dooku in episode the second. More machine than man in the end but enough man remaineth in his soul to overcome the dark side and bringeth balance once more.

Hast though received rubbish in thy mail? Tell of it here for the general merriment of others!

I shall starteth us off with this horsemuck, taketh me and thee for fools they do!

"Hello dear,

There is an issue involving $6.7M USD which was called to Our Bank Societe Generale de Banque au Benin (SGBBE) from THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE,BENIN REPUBLIC concerning your compensation of $6.700,000.00 USD. The fund has been forwarded to Western Union Money Transfer payment head office and An instruction has come directly from Mr. Zeen Mofis of Ministry Of Finance.

He asked us to start sending your fund install mentally $5000 per day through western union money transfer. This type of transfer means that you will be receiving $5000 every day through western union until the total of $6.7M USD is completely transferred to you. Today, our bank has effected your first payment of $5000 through western union. Now you have to Contact, Dr. Michael August on his contact info below as he is the person in-charge of your payment.

The Western union Agent is:

Name: Dr.Michael August.

Email: info-sc@qq.com

Phone:+229

Money sent Through Cornelis Zwaagstra, amount sent, $5,000.00 to you today. So contact Dr. Michael August on above email address and tell him to give you needed information for you to pick the $5,000.00 USD.

Reconfirm your address to him.

(1)Your Full name: ................

(2)Your Phone number: ...................

(3)Your Contact address: ..................

(4)ID Card: ..............................

......

You will also have to send them the RE-ACTIVATION fee of $76usd [as per the instruction from the management ] Pls contact Dr. Michael August ASAP and send him the fee for him to send you the MTCN,QUEST/ANS and SENDER NAME for you to pick up your first payment of $5000 USD .

Get back to me as soon as you receives your first payment.

Yours in Service.

Mr. Zam Som."

Climactic clash of olde beardy and young curly would surely have painted a more pleasing picture for thy eyes had a single volcano been the locale? Too much in the way of wide net casting maketh the end of episode the third feel... impersonal. One planet with our heroes and villains spreadeth out across it perhaps? When the stories connecteth the excitement increaseth too, episode the sixth ably demonstrateth that at least!

Now cometh darth_ender? Here arriveth my glove across thine chops before that entrance as you have left me no recourse but to demand satifaction! Correct me in public wilst thou? Pah! Sir, kindly taketh me to one side to maketh opinions known if thou must, but to hurleth corrections for all to see embarrathetheth me.

But we shall moveth on though for the sake of the better mannered readers amongst thee. Onward to ye mysterious island of the Pacific, where many have found themselves stranded and losteth. Whereupon in episode the seventh of season the fifth smooth headed Jeremy Bentham/John Locke found himself at the endeth of his tether and by story's finish, the endeth of a rope. His body, rotten and stinky as time woreth on, was done in with assuredness yet back his likeness came. Whether twas story service or obligations of contract who can sayeth for certain, but his body remained as twas at the end of ye olde rope, dead.

RicOlie_2 said:

I'm afraid you'll have to touch up on your archaic English. You write with a thick modern accent.

 Oh sayeth thee, doest thou? Umbridge hast been taken petulant sir, and it weigheth heavy upon my brow. We shall speaketh on this later young one, and ye will learn thine place.

But with dismay I must proclaimeth I have discovered another fatal ending among entertainment's gloomy roster that mighteth spoil thine viewing pleasures shouldst thou enter unadvised. In ye olde slasher romp "Harper's Island", much unseen by those who failed to watcheth, poor Malcolm finds himself beaten, burned, beheaded and incinerated by episode the seventh's climax. An ignoble end for a gentle soul whose only wish was to brew his own brand of mead.