Sorry for the double post!
But I also want to give small critique for Hal 9000’s suggestions he started this thread with 😃
It’s also complimentary with my previous post (s. above)
Hal 9000 said:
Opening crawl to remove Leia recon mission and direct mentions of Palpatine. Rather, Kylo Ren is tracking the source of Snoke’s power or something. We still find Palpatine right away, but in the body of the movie rather than in the crawl. It’d also be nice to mention Luke’s inspirational sacrifice to attempt to tie the massive civilian fleet into the theme of TLJ.
Right on, sir! (also see what I wrote about the structure of the movie in my previous post)
Here is a potential crawl, based on one drafted by DZ-330:
“Episode IX
THE RISE OF SKYWALKER
Luke Skywalker has ignited a resurgence of hope in the galaxy. The populace of countless disparate worlds have risen in defiance of the diabolical First Order.
Rey, sole heir to the Jedi, continues her training under General Leia Organa, hoping to commune with Jedi of the past.
Meanwhile, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren seeks the source of his former master’s power, determined to end the war threatening his rule…”
Amazing !
- Potentially remove the visual of Snokes in a liquid chamber, maybe replacing them with something else, or empty bacta we can assume Palpatine dips into. Since the movie isn’t going to give a solid account of what happened in any event, the mere line “I made Snoke” could be interpreted figuratively.
Yes please !
- If deleted scene is available and suitable, add evil Palpatine broadcast as he lifts the fleet. Hopefully it makes it clear that it’s a broadcast, so later scenes still feel right as they allude to characters already having some idea of what’s up.
Any deleted scene/dialogue bites should be considered to bring back into the film, just so to help the pacing, which was just crazy!
- As Snap reports to Leia, see if Rose can be trimmed or if she even needs to be
Not sure, if I understand correctly. Are you trying to cut Rose out of the film? I mean, naturally I would say, NOOOOO. If there are deleted scenes with Rose, I would highly appreciate to put them back in. Otherwise (maybe that’s what you are trying to do after all) is to imply in the movie that Rose died after TLJ, which I gueeeeesss would be at least somewhat more sensical than to pretend she was alive, but didn’t do anything.
- Possibly replace Kylo’s line “I never lied to you” with something like “You were right.”
I don’t see the point in that ?!
- Remove line about how R2 backs up 3PO’s memory. It felt like this movie reacted to TLJ’s style by trying very hard to hardly ever let the audience be surprised.
Yes please! Keep the concequences! Also, check my post before what I said about Chewies death.
- I don’t like “whoever this Chewie person is, this is madness.” Maybe replace with offer to help negotiate or something as if 3PO were fresh out of the box and ready to do protocol stuff.
hmm, really? I think the line is funny.
- maybe remove Rey’s mom saying “she’s not on Jakku, she’s gone.” Like whaaaaaaat??
Yeah. That line is so dumb! Why would you hint at where she is hiding, duh!
- Possibly remove the destruction of the planet, and the idea that the fleet each has a ‘gun that shoots Death Stars.’
PLEEEEAAAAASSEEEEEEEE!!! Also cut all the dialogue references!
- Play with removing Finn and Jannah from the Death Star duel altogether
I guess. Also cut out a few of the “RRRRREEEEEEYYY” screams 😉 Oh, and cut all the references Finn makes towards the “thing” he wants to tell Rey. Unless there is a deleted scene showing him using the force, there is no point to this entire “sub-plot” ?!
- Remove the line about the Holdo maneuver. If it is something legitimate then someone who lives in that universe shouldn’t have the same misconception as we might.
Maybe there is a dialogue bit with a better explenation somewhere? Like “We don’t sacrifice our own” or “We have sacrificed enough people”. Or “The fleet is too close to the planet to consider such a manouver”
- If there’s any other good way to link the massive civilian fleet with Luke’s ‘spark of hope,’ I’d do it. Maybe add comm chatter suggesting Skywalker is on their minds.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for trying to make Luke’s sacrifice a point in this movie!
- see if it could somehow be communicated that the Sith fleet needs the First Order to man the ships
Would be very welcome!
- I think one could successfully remove ‘Rey Palpatine,’ but it would be unusual for me to deviate from the lore to that degree. I don’t like it, but I think I’d be better off accepting it and maybe tweaking TFA and TLJ to fit in better. I expect I’ll play around with executing this idea, at least.
I would her rather to be a nobody. Or at least anything else BUT a Palpatine. Before I ever watched TROS i was rolling my eyes at these theorists suggesting that she might be his granddaughter. It was literally the WORST thing that could happen in the movie. Well, during the half-way point of my first viewing when the twist happened I sank into my seat like Rey sank into the sinking fields. I was frozen for the next 10 minutes and everything just went by. I never recovered from that fully, at least in my first viewing. I still cringe every time that’s mentioned, ugh!
P.s.: Do you need any help? I can’t do much technically (besides Design work). But I am good with research (dialogue lines of other movies by the actors maybe? I watch tons of movies 😉 )