Vultural

Man’s Favorite Sport? - 1964 - 5/10

Fishing guru Roger knows the best gear, best techniques, best spots and times.
Thing is, he is a fraud. Has never fished, cannot swim, actually dislikes the life aquatic.
His unknowing boss orders him to compete in a tournament.
Forced “screwball” comedy mixes bland romance with farce situations.
Hudson and Prentiss are an appealing couple, but he is such a dunce to be unbelievable.
Curly Howard could carry off these stunts, Rock Hudson lives up to his first name.
As a boy, I found this film sidesplittingly funny.
Watched last night, an eager cast tries too hard, burdened with a stale script.

I Know Where I’m Going - 1945 - 7/10

So declares 25-year-old Joan, traveling to marry a much older, wealthy industrialist.
(Wendy Hiller slightly miscast as she resembles 40 instead of 25.)
That is before she is stranded on Mull, however, as howling weather means a forbidding sea.
On Mull, time downshifts and Joan falls under the spell of the locals, the slower pace.
She encounters and is drawn to the laird, even hears of the curse of the castle.
An enchanting film, filled with memorable characters and a rollicking ceilidh.
And a roiling deathtrap – Corryvrecken.

A film that haunted me for years. On our 20th anniversary, I booked passage on the QE2, later boarded the Flying Scotsman, then made a dash, a gamble, to the small boat that would take us into Corryvrecken. As with so many of my risks, Fortune did not favor me.

El Norte - 1983 - 7/10

Enrique and Rosa flee Guatemala after the murders of their parents.
The route, though Mexico, then into Los Angeles, has horrifying moments.
Once in the States, working, their luck seems to turn, Enrique’s especially.
Nothing is easy, however, as their dead mother reminds them in visions.
One can take these visions as magic, second-sight or daydreams.
The film does an exceptional job showing the empty plight of the refugee.
Both Enrique and Rosa are young, their journey brief.
Note: I worked in Los Angeles with numerous migrants, many had stories like these.
Even today, I live in the barrio with the older generation, now legit, who carry memories.

Babette’s Feast - 1987 - 7/10

Broccoli film. Meaning, it’s good for you. You appreciate it, though don’t necessarily enjoy it.
A French refugee is given shelter by an abstemious, devout pair of sisters.
After a decade of repayment service, Babette decides to prepare an elaborate French meal.
For a table gathering who, save one, know nothing of cuisine.
Those who cannot tell the difference between robust peasant fare, and nuanced and subtle dishes.
Akin to giving three-year-olds expensive chocolate truffles, when a Tootsie Roll tastes the same to them.
Yes, this one raked in acclaim and awards. A high-quality film that I disliked exceedingly.

High Street Shops We Loved And Lost - 2024 - 6/10

For Stateside dwellers, think Main Street shops.
Aging souls wax ecstatic about shopping back in the day.
The ambiance, the vibe, frantic sales, sniffy counter clerks.
By and large, these are chains.
Time from the Swinging 60’s to the 90’s, grinding to the end of it all.
None are blind to the harsh reality that Internet prices and convenience killed the shops.
An unhappy sigh when another closure was announced, followed by “I have not shopped there in a long time.”

A three minute video tutorial on how to write film reviews.
This is from the New York Times film critic, A O Scott.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raiWajtEV9s

Iron Will - 1994 - 6/10

Think of this as the early version of the Iditarod Trail. Only with real snow.
1917, teenage Will enters the 500 miles dogsled race from Winnipeg to Minnesota.
The competition is an advertising stunt, yet the Great War dominates the press.
Will lacks experience, nor is he physically prepared, but he is plucky.
Plus, he has a great lead dog.
Old-fashioned adventure film from Disney is feel-good all the way.
Excellent family film, and based on a true individual.

Heroic Trio - 1993 - 6/10
AKA - Dung Fong Saam Hap // 東方三俠

The trio being Maggie Cheung, Anita Mui and Michelle Yeoh.
Newborn babies are kidnapped, police are powerless, who can save them?
Loaded with stunts and action, with a plot that feels improvised.
Maggie and Anita seem to be having fun, while Michelle is stone faced.
The trailer promised more than this delivered for me, especially after I bought it.
Entertaining in a cartoony way, and at this time, everything coming out of Hong Kong was must-see.
The female trio are extraordinarily attractive.

Another Woman - 1988 - 7/10

Professor Pope takes a year off to work on a book.
Her apartment, undergoing construction, is too distracting, so she rents an office space.
Where, via the HVAC duct, she overhears a young woman and her psychiatrist.
The sessions are painful, and eavesdropping, Professor begins to identify.
Partly with the despair, partly by identifying herself as something of an oppressor.
One of Woody Allen’s serious films, filmed in subdued colors.
Quiet, thoughtful, yet brimming with self-identity and perceptions.
Casual viewers desiring his comedies might pass on this.

Strange Darling - 2023 - 7/10

She is running, literally for her life, as she is being hunted, pretty much through the whole film.
Often she’ll ask, “Can you help me? Please?”
Usually folks will oblige. If not, she is in survival mode.
Six chapters, chopped, making the storyline trickier to get a handle on.
Outstanding chase thriller, veering into Slasher territory, with venomous turns.
If curious, I would go in stone cold; I fear most reviewers cannot be discreet.
Willa Fitzgerald gives a tour de force performance as the quarry.

Dirty Weekend - 1993 - 6/10

Even I knew her boyfriend was shagging half the females at his birthday party.
Bella, hurt, opts to move to Brighton and start freelancing.
With American flicks, the victim runs, screams, and falls down a lot.

In this, Bella takes matters into her own hands, or rather takes the hammer into her hands.
Black comedy of tables turned, the lamb into butcher.
Lia Williams, a dead-faced sponge in the first third, gradually reveals the hunter’s smile.
Large name cast, many acting against type, seem to be having fun.

The Wastelander: Sector 23 - 2024 - 6/10

Near future sees conflict in cityscape rubble.
Human soldier vs mechanized foes.
Our protagonist, carrying a battered map and tech gear he does not comprehend, is on a quest
Minimal conflict sequences (badly choreographed, overlaid with poor music). Quiet moments are better.
Borrows from iconic films, leading to a dark reveal.
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3353238

Various (Editor: Smith, Imogen Sara) - Noir City Annual 16

Longtime contributor Smith takes over the editor’s role this outing. As always, diverse topics, a few unfamiliar gems, and late appreciations.

“Stoner Noir”, from the very title, one realizes most will be later films. Highlight, Lebowski.

“No Exit” makes a case for one of Orson Welles forgotten films, “The Trial” with Anthony Perkins, filmed before the actor was doomed by typecasting. Other Kafka adaptations are discussed, acknowledging how difficult the author has been to turn into cinema. No mention of the superb 2024 series.

“Architects Of Illusion” – Classic era art directors and set design, what a great choice! From those who were blessed with handsome budgets, to those who scraped by with loose change and imagination.

An essay on Roger Touhy, Chicago gangster. And the movie somewhat based on him. Added to my to-find list, no matter how poor.

“Ripped From The Headlines!” details the original, fact-based incidents that sparked subsequent films, which most Noir fans have screened.

Likewise, “Guns For Hire”, a survey of hired assassins. Hitmen. There are far too many stories about the triggermen, so there will be missing gems. This is a nice smattering.

Profiles include Jean Hagen, Walter Matthau (really? yes, really), Bob Rafelson (focusing on late works).

Usually, I make a list of reviews ruined by spoilers. Lazy writers who equate a synopsis with a review. Editor Smith seems to have checked those tendencies. Bravo. There are countless newcomers who have not viewed all films, and don’t need those ruined with gushed endings.

Note: I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. These Noir City Annuals do not stay in print long. The limited number print run only benefits aging aficionados and collectors. Publisher Eddie Muller really ought to offer p.o.d. reprints for future generations.

Secrets Of Coca-Cola: The Billion Dollar Beverage - 2019 - 6/10

History of the obscure beginnings of the snake oil tonic to global dominance.
No, there wasn’t cocaine in the early product, it was coca, from the leaves.
Kept for a long time, eventually removed. Formula remains a guarded secret.
Upstart Pepsi mentioned, but the 90’s taste-test challenge, not the earlier Pepsi Generation.
Best for cola junkies, who I suspect are legion. +
English subs = https://sub-scene.com/subtitle/3353312

• My own father was the latter. He had a standing order with the local bottler to deliver 15 cases monthly.
  That’s the 16 oz bottles, 24 per case. Yes, he drank two six-packs a day.
  Also smoked a steady stream of cigars. Health conscious souls, he lived to be 86.

Rimfire - 1949 - 5/10

Army gold has been hijacked, and an incognito officer is dispatched.
Around the one-horse town somewhere, and the town ain’t nothing but lowlifes.
Saloon, cardsharp, brawls, a half drunk judge, shady cowpunchers.
Somehow marked as a Western Noir, this is just a B-oater.
Final feature by Breezy Eason, and the wild opening has his trademarks all over it.
Nobody could shoot charging horses like he could.
Reed Hadley is in this, but underutilized.
For an hour film, this has a pile of cold-blooded murders, close to a dozen.

The Coca-Cola Kid - 1985 - 6/10

Coke execs discover an untapped market deep in the Australian Outback.
It is the fierce stronghold of the local beverage.
They send their ace, Becker, to try and topple the rival.
Strange comedy runs quirky, sexy and bittersweet.
The best moments, the ones that linger, are pure Aussie.
I didn’t always understand some, yet that was OK.
“As Australian as a barbed wire canoe.” Making the jingle below. Brilliant.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml0TURpHRuw

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind - 2004 - 7/10

A somewhat indescribable film of a tempestuous couple.
Clementine has already gone to the clinic and had all memories of Joel purged.
Afterward, reluctantly, Joel decides on the same.
Erasure proceeds from most recent (angry, hateful) to older.
Earlier memories are romantic, poignant, and Joel wants to hang onto them.
Chronology shifts wildly and abruptly. Camera techniques and styles vary.
Perplexing at times, likewise depressing, story of love, memory and Fate.
Also the only Jim Carrey film I ever liked.

The Temp - 1993 - 6/10

Peter is released from the mental clinic. Issue, paranoia.
Now divorced, he returns to work to find the company has been taken over – layoffs announced.
Help arrives in the form of a temp, Kris, who proves to be an adept workhorse.
Meanwhile, praise the maker, work enemies and adversaries encounter misfortune.
Better viewed as a black comedy, this is a Noir tinged thriller.
Studio interference crippled this one. Not to mention test audience surveys.
A twisted narrative, never properly resolved.
Coulda, shoulda. Guilty pleasure for me, yet a flawed movie.

Cristóbal Balenciaga - 2024 - 7/10

Strolling biopic series of the formidable fashion designer.
Active in Paris haute couture from the 1930’s into the 1970’s.
This explores his obstacles, relationships, methods.
His rivalries / friendships include Dior, Chanel, Givenchy.
Homosexuality is touched on several times, as well as Fascist Spain, and Nazi occupied Paris.
Alberto San Juan digs into the lead role, showcasing Balenciaga’s innovation and almost monomaniacal need for control.
Superbly done – BUT – this is one of those series where one ought to have a handle on fashion history.
(I married a fashionista, one who is steeped in the major houses and keeps up with current designers and models.
I even went to an exhibition of Balenciaga’s garments a few years ago.
Hate saying this, but the less you know, the more you may miss out.)

Mishima: A Life In Four Chapters - 1985 - 8/10

Highly stylized film of the celebrated writer and patriot.
Childhood flashbacks mix with scenes of his final day, and failed coup.
Then there are scenes from several works: “The Temple Of The Golden Pavilion”, “Kyoko’s House” and “Runaway Horses”.
Familiarity with Mishima’s life and works is not essential as you will be spellbound by visuals.

Ken Ogata is a bit beefy for the role, but he is compelling and one soon forgets the physical disparity.
This is still something of a scandal in Japan.
I met director Paul Schrader one time and asked questions about this film. He is very proud of it.
I was in my teens when Mishima’s death made global headlines; I recall being quite shocked.

The Bride With White Hair 2 - 1993 - 5/10
AKA - Bak fat moh lui zyun II // 白髮魔女2

Disappointing, to say the least, sequel to the 1993 Hong Kong classic by Ronnie Yu.
The “white witch” recruits and builds a female army of lethal assassins.
New heroes are mustered, their purpose to end to the carnage befalling the major houses.
Despite the presence of Brigitte Lin and Leslie Cheung, their roles are small.
This actually feels like a showcase for new talent.
Quality action, complicated narrative, and pace that swings between busy and idle.
See the original first, Crave more, this will fill a hole.

Duffy, Steve - These And Other Mysteries

Rich assortment of stories from the reliable Duffy, who seems to have found a haven in Sarob.

Volunteer mourners assemble periodically for unloved deceased, those without family, friends. In “Dead Center Of Manchester” one of those forgotten souls apparently had a worrisome past. Of which the more curious mourners dig into, areas sinister.

Jake found the TV in a skip. A perfectly good telly. At home, he and Angie join the hordes of glazed viewers. Free entertainment! Not quite. For in “Screen Burn” Angie is mesmerized by the static. Or something behind the static.

Pursuing a spree killing, the investigating officer is urged to consult a quirky academic. Paranormal type. As a team, they do not gel; worse, he is dismissive and skeptical of her arcane method, the religious inferences. “Stations”, she reminds him, are what the killer was checking off.

The two surviving adult siblings arrive to sort the shocking clutter of their deceased brother’s home. The house holds memories, unpleasant ones, along with childhood fears. “Last Rites At Saltstrand” moves from confirmed anxieties to unsettling surprises to the lingering echo of grandfather’s warning.

“Three Deals With The Supreme Being”. Go ahead. Three requests. God may, or may not listen. Or merely dispatch an angel. What is absolute life or death for you? Better make it good.

Haunted Palace - 1949 - 5/10

Shaw Desmond presents a handful of reenacted hauntings.
A remorseful priest, waiting 200 years for forgiveness.
The evening arrival of spirits to a long past gathering.
Interspersed with a ballerina, gracing the proceedings with interludes.
Hauntings, not horror, catching sight of lingering presences.
Note Desmond’s circular bookcase in the background.

Alien Vs. Predator Requiem - 2007 - 5/10

Pity the unloved child.
Unexpected followup to 2004’s AvP boasts more carnage with a barely coherent story.
Hard upon that film, the Predator crew is overwhelmed by a new chestburster, and the ship crashes in woodsy USA.
The Xenomorph survives and scampers away, laying fresh eggs.
A Predator fixer races to the area to clean the mess, remove evidence and liquidate all Xenomorphs.
What else? Law enforcement, overage teenagers, compositions that are far too dark.
Not as good as the previous effort (which received mixed reviews), this has decent scenes, absurd logic.
B-flick. Hopefully, the studio will resist the creators lobbying for another film.

Various (Editor: Holmes, Carly) - Uncertainties Volume VII

Late 2024 found the latest installment of this dependable series in my mailbox. Carly Holmes, no stranger to fans of Weird Lit, at the helm. Assorted riches, as always, so I will just breeze through a handful.

“Pond Scum” finds two brothers, battered from personal setbacks and Life in general, in Italy, traipsing lonely country. They no longer have much in common, except weakness for alcohol. And a thirst for trouble, diversion. My sympathy does not extend toward aggressive drunks.

After his wife dies from the slow rot of cancer, Graeme needed solitude, isolation to grieve in peace. He takes a room in a remote village near the beach. His landlady is cheap, sexually pushy, yet sly enough to loosen trousers. Oh, yes, the beach. Something strange there. A distant figure, one with the “Sad Face” unsettles Graeme. Then there are those queer black stones. He knows he ought to depart, he really ought to.

Grief of another cloth in “A Suit Of Darkest Blue” finds Joan on a seemingly endless cruise, trying to escape, to forget. With her, however, is the ghost, perhaps ghosts, as grief wars with anger. On the decks, on shore leave, she “sees” because she cannot, she will not, let go.

Do you have a parent or sibling or any loved one who is a hoarder? If so, best advice – die first. Otherwise, you might have to endure the joy of tidying their house. Are you claustrophobic? Does your asthma flare when the very air itself is squeezed out by mountains of junk? “Little Nothings” will be for you. Should I mention the bugs?

The writer, tapping dry on inspiration, spinning clichéd plots aloud. One may be forgiven suspecting he is more hack than scribe. One tired notion after another “Ends Abruptly”. That’s the trick, though, correct? The satisfying conclusion. And oh, how fitting this one lands.