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Trident

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4-May-2015
Last activity
15-Nov-2018
Posts
793

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Post
#1252426
Topic
Satanic Panic! - (A Thread For All Things Satanic)
Time

suspiciouscoffee said:

suspiciouscoffee said:

Off the top of my head, here’s a list of things my parents have told me is satanic over the years (some of which they eventually reneged on).
-Pokémon
-Harry Potter
-D&D
-All non-conservative-protestant-evangelical-Christian religions
-Darwin’s theories, but only some of them
-“emogoth” music
-any music with bad words
-“the world”
-Monster energy drink
-most R-rated movies
-Gays (whoops)
-Anime (because the eyes are dark and creepy-lookin’)
-Foreign policy that isn’t neocon zionism
-“Imperfect” Jews (aka every Jew other than Jews for Jesus)

Something else I just remembered: when I was a little kid, my dad told me that I was never to use the word “awesome” unless I was referring specifically to God, as any other use of that word was basically blasphemy. He eventually relaxed on that, but it took several years.

Pretty much the same call out. And pretty much the same list. Except mother didn’t know anything about Anime. And Harry Potter wasn’t really a thing.

Post
#1252227
Topic
Ask the trans woman (aka interrogate the trans woman)
Time

flametitan said:

Trident said:

flametitan said:

Trident said:

That’s interesting. You see the people I know with dysphoria fall into 2 camps. There are those who accept it’s something, but they don’t think it’s right to fix it (operate) because of their beliefs? And then there are those like that friend of mine who’s still pre-op.

The former group you describe is one I’ve never seen trawling through support groups or general meeting places for trans people. Probably because of that opposition to the treatment that alleviates dysphoria.

As for your friend… I am autistic as well. That’s not a factor in how “sorted through” I am with this. Likewise, you absolutely cannot just jump on board of any sort of operation. It takes a minimum of a year on HRT before any facility capable of it will even consider seeing you. Now, there’s been debate over whether that’s too long, whether such gatekeeping is helpful at all, but the year of HRT before surgery is the standard currently. On top of that, everyone jumps to talking about whether or not someone will “regret” SRS. For the most part, it’s rare that such a thing happens, and as I said on the religion thread, for transfemme individuals it has a lot more to do with pressure from society than them actually regretting it. (It’s a more complicated instance for trans masc detransitioners)

What do you think? Is a year too long? Or not long enough? I mean you’ve been on this road for at least 5 years (if I’ve got that right)? What took the time to get from there to here? What was the aha moment for you when you figured it was time to turn thought to action?

What took me so long was not having the resources to do so until 2016, and from 2016 to 2018 was about them redirecting and gatekeeping me until I managed to get in their good graces and be allowed a prescription. Had I access to an informed consent clinic, I would have been going along this much faster.

Ah kk

If your friend is pretty firm it’s the right way to go, then they really should pursue it. Dysphoria becoming some other feeling of, “something’s not right,” doesn’t happen.

That’s the big problem with him. He’s not a firm type. I mean take his trying to tell his parents? 2 years running and still nope. He keeps promising himself and keeps talking himself out of it. But at the same time he’s sure he wants the operation. I keep telling him if he can’t commit to talking about it how can he commit to the full operation? It seems like a mixed view to me. It makes me worried.

Sounds to me like procrastination cause by anxiety, or something similar. I know I’ve been in those shoes. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t pursue HRT or some such.

Definitely anxiety. Maybe I should get him to talk to you? I don’t know how you’d feel about that?

From the people I know who’ve gone through it, it starts off painful (Because their bodies are healing, so of course it’s painful) but when the pain starts to subside, it becomes normal. It’s just kind of a part of you now. It improves emotions greatly, sure, but those improved emotions become the norm, and the individual moves on with their life.

How many years has it been since they’ve made the transition on average? I mean how far past the pain are they in general?

All over the board. Usually the pain subsides after a few weeks or months, and the people I’ve talked to have varied from having just received it to going on years afterwards.

That said, it’s not always that easy to find those who have been post-op for several years, as occasionally they move “past” being trans and just start living their life as their preferred gender identity without thinking about it or identifying as trans at all.

That’s a good point. Funny I didn’t think of it that way.

Post
#1252218
Topic
Ask the trans woman (aka interrogate the trans woman)
Time

flametitan said:

Trident said:

That’s interesting. You see the people I know with dysphoria fall into 2 camps. There are those who accept it’s something, but they don’t think it’s right to fix it (operate) because of their beliefs? And then there are those like that friend of mine who’s still pre-op.

The former group you describe is one I’ve never seen trawling through support groups or general meeting places for trans people. Probably because of that opposition to the treatment that alleviates dysphoria.

As for your friend… I am autistic as well. That’s not a factor in how “sorted through” I am with this. Likewise, you absolutely cannot just jump on board of any sort of operation. It takes a minimum of a year on HRT before any facility capable of it will even consider seeing you. Now, there’s been debate over whether that’s too long, whether such gatekeeping is helpful at all, but the year of HRT before surgery is the standard currently. On top of that, everyone jumps to talking about whether or not someone will “regret” SRS. For the most part, it’s rare that such a thing happens, and as I said on the religion thread, for transfemme individuals it has a lot more to do with pressure from society than them actually regretting it. (It’s a more complicated instance for trans masc detransitioners)

What do you think? Is a year too long? Or not long enough? I mean you’ve been on this road for at least 5 years (if I’ve got that right)? What took the time to get from there to here? What was the aha moment for you when you figured it was time to turn thought to action?

If your friend is pretty firm it’s the right way to go, then they really should pursue it. Dysphoria becoming some other feeling of, “something’s not right,” doesn’t happen.

That’s the big problem with him. He’s not a firm type. I mean take his trying to tell his parents? 2 years running and still nope. He keeps promising himself and keeps talking himself out of it. But at the same time he’s sure he wants the operation. I keep telling him if he can’t commit to talking about it how can he commit to the full operation? It seems like a mixed view to me. It makes me worried.

So I don’t really know anyone who’s gotten to the other side of the procedure. I’ve got no connection with anyone who’s a survivor 3 years on and feeling great.

I’m assuming you’ve got more of a connection with people who’ve managed to go the full way. If so? Do you generally get the same solid feedback that it was the right thing to do? Or do you get a mixed message sometimes? I mean how much of a risk do you think you’d be taking if doing an operation? Emotionally, mentally, psychologically, whatever. I guess I’m trying to figure out if this is the lesser of 2 evils? Or if it’s guaranteed happiness and easy pacing from there?

From the people I know who’ve gone through it, it starts off painful (Because their bodies are healing, so of course it’s painful) but when the pain starts to subside, it becomes normal. It’s just kind of a part of you now. It improves emotions greatly, sure, but those improved emotions become the norm, and the individual moves on with their life.

How many years has it been since they’ve made the transition on average? I mean how far past the pain are they in general?

Post
#1252209
Topic
Ask the trans woman (aka interrogate the trans woman)
Time

moviefreakedmind said:

Trident said:

moviefreakedmind said:

Uh, OK this is getting too creepy. I’m done here.

It gets a little hot on the understanding department and it blows your mind? Good God. What a coward.

No. It’s creepy that you’re talking about pedophilia being a “deep love for kids.” Not wanting to be involved in that conversation does not make me a coward.

Sure it does.

Do you have any idea how many times I tried to hint at friends growing up that I had SSA? Do you know you’re giving me the same blow off they did. They thought it was creepy too. Trying to understand someone who isn’t like you shouldn’t be creepy. It might make you feel uneasy? It might strike you as totally the wrong way facing? But it shouldn’t be an excuse to run away and plug your ears.

I mean what if this guy was one of your pals and you never knew? What if he told you in a moment of weakness because he needed your strength to go on? What if he turned his trust to you and you answered like that?

So full of judgment. So full of assuming you knew what he was feeling? So full of assuming you knew better than he did what he truly wanted?

How could a guy like that ever try to get help when that’s the default people brush on to him?

He didn’t choose that path man. He didn’t wake up one day and figure it’d be a good day to be a pedophile. What happened to him was a whole long list of things.

And since I’ve got nothing to do today? I’ll share it with you.

It started with his dad pushing him down the stairs at 4 or 5. It started with his mom working double shifts at work to pay the bills while his dad drank the money.

From there it was watching the fights. It was being picked up as a little guy and thrown across the room.

It was being told he was the reason they didn’t have money. It was watching his older brother getting beat up for trying to defend his mom. It was learning early and heavy that no one wanted him. He learned when young that people didn’t care. He learned that adults did bad things. He learned that adults were monsters.

So when he got older and tried to date? He was terrified. He couldn’t talk to a girl in his teens. He couldn’t see them as anything he could understand. He was afraid they’d make fun of his stutter. They’d tear into his confidence and strip it bare in a heartbeat.

But he wanted affection. He wanted some way to connect. He needed love and wanted understanding. But he couldn’t get it from people in the normal way. He couldn’t trust anyone in a real sense.

So he started making things kind of ideal in his head. He started idolizing a childhood he never had. He started imagining what it was like to be a kid in a place of love. A kid who was safe from hurt.

And from there he started to love that kid. He wanted to be close to that kid. He wanted to share in that experience. He wanted to share in all the toys and games and carefree laughter that a kid in a normal house got on a regular.

He wanted it so bad he could taste it. It became an obsession. It became his fantasy. Something he used to get himself through the day. Because he works with seniors. And their needs are sort of like those of children in a way? But they’re battle-scarred. They’re ornery. They have sicknesses and diseases. They have ticks and are strong and sometimes fight with him in the dementia ward.

But kids? They’re innocent and sweet. They live a pure life with few inhibitions. They say what’s in their hearts. No games. No pretenses. Just honest and raw truth as they see it.

So he pines for that. He wants a connection with that. He wants to orbit that world and live inside it.

But he can’t. He doesn’t dare. He doesn’t want to hurt kids. He wants to protect them. He wants them to go on living in that pure world. He knows he’d ruin it for them. He knows he’d bring adult ideas into that safe place. He knows he’d destroy the very thing he loves most about them.

So he lives in a torment of his own experience. And lives a sideshow that makes him bitterly depressed.

I hope you understand what I’m saying here. I hope you get it. And I hope you forgive me for being so angry. I don’t really have a beef with you. I really should understand by now that so few people even want to sit and spend time with a leper that it’s really an of-course that most would be this way. I’ve just forgotten what it’s like. I’ve forgotten my first gut-instinct on it too by now.

Peace.

Post
#1252207
Topic
Ask the trans woman (aka interrogate the trans woman)
Time

flametitan said:

There’s a lot of people going on against comparing the pedophilia and SSA point, and that one I’m probably not going to touch with a hot poker until I can better wrap my mind around what my answer is. However, the first question is one I see from a lot of “opposition” to transition, and someone who might be ignorant on it might actually not realize why it’s different.

Trident said:

What’s your take on dysphoria in terms of rating its cause to be physically caused verses psychological?

I mean take apotemnophilia or xenomelia? Both of these are obviously disorders. Obviously. I mean I’d have a hard time thinking anyone anywhere really thinks that wanting to cut your own limbs off is ever gonna be accepted as normal enough to have its own parade. They’re both accepted as caused by physical breaks in the brain. They’re not even so much psychological as physical brain wiring problems.

The problem with comparing to those two is that Body integrity dysphoria (BID) has a serious lack of research behind it; by contrast, Gender dysphoria is well documented by the medical community. Transition is by no means the same as desiring to remove a limb. Ignoring that the non-op segment of the trans community exists, the worst thing srs does is sterilize you, an effect that’s not unique to it, either. It is by no means a desire to disable your body, especially when you look into how much work is put into the neo-genitals (or at least the neovagina. The neophallus is apparently still underdeveloped, hence why the majority of transmasc folk I know are non-op.)

On top of that, while there’s few studies about BID, there seems to be an indication that amputation does not cure BID. Rather, amputation temporarily relieves the patient’s feelings, before returning at some point or another. In contrast, if/when GD persists during transition, it tends to be one of two things. The first is that it overcorrects, in which case fine tuning the individual’s HRT regiment remedies it. I’ve only seen it a handful of times, and when I have, it’s usually because the individual in question identifies as non-binary.
More commonly, in my experience, is that instead that the new point of focus for dysphoria has always caused dysphoria, it just wasn’t as large a source as the others. For example, my shoulders and voice. They’ve always contributed to my dysphoria, but not to the extent that, say, growing facial hair or the lack of breasts have. Now that I’ve been on HRT for nine months, developed small chest buds, and have a proper regiment for dealing with my facial hair (though being able to afford laser and remove it permanently is a long term goal of mine), I’ve focused back on my voice dysphoria, in order to relieve that. After that, the shoulder dysphoria will remain, because there is no cure for shoulder dysphoria. If there were, I probably wouldn’t have to worry about dysphoria at all.

And as far as the, “If there was a pill that cures dysphoria, would you take it?” question… If I follow the question literally, there is such a pill. I do take it. It’s called Estradiol and an Anti-Androgen (though I might try to convince my doc to switch me from Spironolactone to Cyprotone, as I hear it gives better results with less side effects) for transfemme individuals, and Testosterone for transmasc individuals.

Following more the spirit of the question, with a “cure” that somehow eliminates dysphoria and lets one live their assigned gender, that becomes a deeply personal thing that depends on who you ask, how far along they are, and how “acceptable” transition is where they are. For myself, who’s been on this road for almost half a decade now, has access to proper transition care and has been on it for nine months with a generally accepting community… Yeah, no. I wouldn’t trade it. If someone was still trying to come to terms with it, or lives in a situation where pursuing transition might lead ostracize them at best or lead to violence at worst… I can see why they’d rather take a pill to repress those feelings.

But it doesn’t exist. The most effective cure to dysphoria is, and continues to be, transition.

As far as physical versus psychological goes, there’s some indications that the brain of a trans individual more closely matches that of a cis person of their preferred gender identity, but from what I recall, the sample had so much variance that it was hard to find a trend for “male brain,” and “female” brain at all.

That’s interesting. You see the people I know with dysphoria fall into 2 camps. There are those who accept it’s something, but they don’t think it’s right to fix it (operate) because of their beliefs? And then there are those like that friend of mine who’s still pre-op.

So I don’t really know anyone who’s gotten to the other side of the procedure. I’ve got no connection with anyone who’s a survivor 3 years on and feeling great.

I’m assuming you’ve got more of a connection with people who’ve managed to go the full way. If so? Do you generally get the same solid feedback that it was the right thing to do? Or do you get a mixed message sometimes? I mean how much of a risk do you think you’d be taking if doing an operation? Emotionally, mentally, psychologically, whatever. I guess I’m trying to figure out if this is the lesser of 2 evils? Or if it’s guaranteed happiness and easy pacing from there?

I like the detail you go into to make things clear. It helps see through that lens a bit better.

Peace.

Post
#1252192
Topic
Ask the trans woman (aka interrogate the trans woman)
Time

moviefreakedmind said:

pleasehello said:

But judging by the reactions, I don’t think anyone is really even willing to consider the perfectly reasonable possibility that Trident is putting forth: that these two completely different phenomena could both be the result of the physical wiring of someone’s brain.

It’s a bad analogy. It’d be better to compare it to people with a desire to torture or hurt people or something like that.

It’s a perfectly fine analogy while yours is so far off the mark you’re shooting backwards. A pedophile can be sadistic, sure. But so can anyone else be. The one I talk to has a deep love for kids. He’d die defending them. He’d be the last one to want to hurt any of them. He fundraises to send money to kids overseas because he tells me this is the only way he can both help kids and stay away from them at the same time. For him it’s a love-affair.

Yes it’s uncomfortable for some of us to think about? But it doesn’t help allowing prejudices to still stay in front instead of looking at what really is the case here.

I mean the big problem through all our history seems to have been when people are too bigoted to talk about things in a rational way. Why are some things not allowed to be talked about? Who says these links can’t be made if they make sense? Who makes those choices for the rest of us?

Post
#1252186
Topic
Ask the trans woman (aka interrogate the trans woman)
Time

Mrebo said:

Not many people have the tolerance for a purely analytical discussion when strong emotions are in play. There’s too much to respond to using a telephone as I am, and one should be wary of derailing flame’s thread. While there may be an interesting analytical matter, whether different conditions are both due to brain wiring doesn’t seem relevant here. Sympathy is going to vary regardless the cause for different conditions.

Those who don’t want to talk about it can just skip it. I’m interested. Others are too. Let the grown-ups talk about it.

Post
#1252184
Topic
Ask the trans woman (aka interrogate the trans woman)
Time

moviefreakedmind said:

RicOlie_2 said:

moviefreakedmind said:

What is SSA? And fuck any attempt to compare or link LGBT orientations to pedophilia. I have no tolerance for that.

Why? He’s not linking them on a moral level, he’s linking them on a psychological level. Clearly, there’s a difference. Both are attractions that are not evolutionary beneficial (neither can lead to procreation if pursued).

Child rape actually can and does lead to procreation. Your church demands that impregnated children not be allowed to terminate those life-threatening pregnancies. So you’re totally wrong there.

You’re missing the point. Totally missing it. Not all pedophiles are rapists just like not all hetro males are either. And it’s not even always about sex. Plus? Pedophiles can be men or women. They can like the same sex? The opposite sex? Or both.

Homosexuality at this point is evolutionarily beneficial since it won’t contribute to overpopulation (which I’m assuming you pretend is a myth). Plus gay couples can adopt and raise children that are orphans, unwanted, or wards of the state.

Are we basing whether or not something is a disorder on whether or not it is “moral” in and of itself? That’s seems awfully arbitrary to me.

I’m basing it on whether or not it has negative consequences. If something has no negative consequences then I have no problem with it.

What do you think about bestiality?

Actually, never mind. I’m not sure it really matters what you think.

Post
#1252164
Topic
Ask the trans woman (aka interrogate the trans woman)
Time

pleasehello said:

It’s always dicey to mention homosexuality and pedophilia in the same sentence. They’re obviously not the same thing as one is between two consenting adults and the other is completely morally reprehensible. This almost doesn’t need saying.

But judging by the reactions, I don’t think anyone is really even willing to consider the perfectly reasonable possibility that Trident is putting forth: that these two completely different phenomena could both be the result of the physical wiring of someone’s brain.

No one is comparing the two on a moral level and it’s disappointing that we can’t talk about it in a more clinical and analytical way.

Thanks so much. You said it in a much better and plainer way than I did. Maybe that was part of the problem when I first jumped in with both feet instead of trying to be more clear.

Post
#1252163
Topic
Ask the trans woman (aka interrogate the trans woman)
Time

snooker said:

I don’t want to be transgender but I am. If I could just be cis, I would. But I’m not. The only treatment (I can see) is to transition.

The only treatments that make trans people cis are the same ones that make gay people straight. Don’t exist.

I admit, I was a little harsh in my first reply because when I was a kid I had a few run ins with pedophiles. Not fun. I just can’t see myself including them amongst the LGBTQ+ community. They aren’t the same. Being a pedophile isn’t ‘gender-nonconforming’ like the other ones are.

Sorry buddy. I missed this while typing out my essay. Thanks for giving it to me in a plain way. This makes a lot of sense. I understand a lot better.

Sorry for the gut reaction. I didn’t mean to come across so hostile. I’m just a bit sensitive. But it’s all good.

Peace.

Post
#1252158
Topic
Ask the trans woman (aka interrogate the trans woman)
Time

snooker said:

First of all, I’m not a guy.

Secondly, you’ve implied that being gay is a problem in the same way that being a pedophile is. No.

I’m the bad guy for saying this?

Being gay isn’t a serious mental health issue in the way that pedophilia is. Being gay is being different; with nothing inherently bad or damaging to others. Being a pedophile is also different, but bad in every single way and they need serious help.

Also, how am I on a moral high horse if my moral is ‘kids shouldn’t be found attractive’!?

It’s the same from the sense that both start with a person struggling against an identity. Read my other post for a full backdrop. I understand you don’t know me. I understand you don’t know my background or what I’ve been through. And so I’ll accept the same towards you. I’ll try to read you as making this about “them” and “us” in some different way that doesn’t make me flinch. I’m sorry if I get testy about that? But I guess we’ve spent so long trying to understand each other in our group I’m still a bit surprised with the judging that goes on outside our fence. The gut reaction that this guy is somehow a completely different type of person just because his pull is in a slightly different direction from mine.

Because the way you’re reacting is exactly how people used to treat me. It’s the same way. And while I’m glad you’re accepting of a bigger group than others I’ve found? All I’m asking is not to judge those you haven’t maybe met. I mean a guy who’s got a leaning towards kids is a bit of a mystery from our view for sure. But it does make sense when you talk to him. He explains why he feels the way he does. He explains what it’s like knowing you can never have what you want the most. He explains the pain of self-hatred that comes with knowing what you want is no good for those you’re after. It’s his honesty that wins him points here. And it’s that honesty that lets me see myself in him sometimes. Because I grew up feeling the exact same way. I was taught that self-hatred too. I was taught that need to forget about what I really wanted and to try to repaint my walls from the outside. So I totally understand him.

The fact that I get to have my cake if I want it because society’s a different place now? Well that’s great for me I guess? But it still leaves him locked in a place where I once was. And I guess being Side B only helps me understand.

Am I making this any clearer or am I just adding a pile of words on top of something I could probably say in a simpler and easier way if I wasn’t so caught close to it like I am?

Peace.

Post
#1252155
Topic
Ask the trans woman (aka interrogate the trans woman)
Time

Mrebo said:

Trident, your initial question was alright, though the psychological is often physical in the sense it’s not caused by experience but rather is baked in (which you recognize). And if we’re talking about solely about the latter, the question that follows yours is what difference it makes? That’s a sincere question for you.

What difference does any question make? I’m curious. I’m beyond curious.

You’ve got to understand where I’m coming from. I’m looking at this from a couple of angles and different world views.

I grew up in a really strong and strict conservative household. Admitting my SSA was a non-starter. Instead I buried it as best I could and managed to screw up a few lives by the wayside. So I’ve got that want to know what’s up with all this. I’m part of a group who get together online to trade pain and share hope. We’re all from different backgrounds. Some of us have SSA. Some of us have dysphoria. Some of us have different leanings all together. But where we’ve got a basic understanding is that we all struggle with our identities in context of our religious views. Most of us are from Christian backgrounds. Most of us grew up our whole lives being told God looked down on what we wanted to do with our bodies. Most of us had families who had a range of different views from what we have. So a lot of us are still closeted. A lot of us only share with each other what we’re really feeling. We’ve made a safe place to be honest with at least someone else on the planet.

Many of us want to live a normal life. As much as possible. I mean we want to understand what makes us what we are. We’re trying to join together the idea we have of recognizing our identities without having to give away family, friends, or our religious beliefs.

Now of course that’s a conflict. Of course there’s a lot of disagreement with that whole line. Because some of us say this is a physical problem? While others insist it’s all in our heads. One of our main members is a doctor who’s convinced his SSA is caused by his environment. Another is an author who is convinced her dysphoria’s a physical extension of what she really is. Full stop.

So sometimes the arguments go back and forth? But what’s true about most of us is that given the choice? We’d take a pill to drop this leaning. Most of us are strong enough in that camp. But that doesn’t mean we’re placing that want on anyone else. I mean most of us also have a lot of Side A friends and we’re cool with how they roll in their own way.

But sometimes the question’s meaningful for a different reason. I’ll give just a quick example.

I’ve got a friend with gender dysphoria who leans on me to give advice. He wanted to know if he should tell his family? Or just suck it up and try to bury it deep inside. I told him to tell them. I told him not to live that lie. I told him he needed their understanding and not to live that life I had to live.

I was basically pretending to be someone I wasn’t for so long that it led to some pretty bad happenings. Some stuff I don’t want to get into. Some stuff that got me to a really bad place. So I didn’t want that to happen.

But then this guy wants to know what I thought of the operation. Now here I was mixed because it seemed like such a 1-way trip. I mean what if he changes his mind later? He was only 18 at the time of first asking (now almost 20). I told him to wait. I told him to take my example. I told him to try a Side B life for a bit and see what happens.

I told him he could always go through with it later. Like maybe 10 years from now?

Look. This guy isn’t really like the OP. He’s not as well thought out. He’s got Asperger’s along with other things. So he has almost zero contacts he can share his world with. He’s got a very odd POV on other things too. So I saw this thread and I thought I’d ask that question. There’s nothing wrong with asking it. I wanted to know if it was felt to be physical instead of psychological. I wanted to know what sort of research the OP must’ve done when first getting into it. Because if physical? Then I’m handing out the right advice to go ahead and get the operation at some point. If psychological? Well I’m not sure. Does it bring this guy forward to get his operation at all? Or will he just go down some other way instead? I mean is the dysphoria of today just going to turn into a new type of “not-feeling-right” about his new body instead?

I’m already well aware of the suicide rate with the transgender group. I’m already well aware that a lot of them are in a tricky place from the conflict they live. I don’t want to go and suggest my friend get counseling vs get an operation only to find I’ve taken the wrong leap? But at the same time I don’t want to just telling him to wait and see. Wait and see. As if that’s helping his torment any more than anything else. Because what might be a fix for me might not be a fix for him.

So I brought in my pal with the other problem as a way to widen the circle. Because on the one hand? I’m ok with telling my one friend to accept what is. To go ahead with what needs to happen. But on the other hand? I’m conflicted because I’d never tell the other friend the same thing. Clearly I’d tell him to keep his cool and fight it. So it just seems a bit of a mix for me right now.

Your last question is essentially whether flame would take a pill, were it available, to make the dysphoria go away. Any given person may have a different answer and it’s complicated by the internal sense of identity one has had and the idea that a pill would destroy that, rather than fix something.

Unsurprisingly your examples get in the way. I get what you’re saying but they don’t really support what you’re getting at.

Well now I think you’ve got the whole view. All 5000 words.

Post
#1252141
Topic
Ask the trans woman (aka interrogate the trans woman)
Time

snooker said:

I can’t abide that. I’m sorry, I just can’t.

I’m the most progressive person I know but that shit is repulsive.

So it’s ok to have problems as long as you agree with them? What kind of shit is that exactly?

Thank God I don’t need your permission to hang out at the Y.

News flash buddy. We don’t all get to pick what we are. We just don’t. I seriously don’t see why you’re sitting up on a high horse over this anyway.

I mean maybe I’m not getting what you’re saying? But it just seems so full pretentious.

This guy was so so so reluctant to talk about his issues with the rest of us. He was so tired of being slammed down to the ground for it. We coaxed him. We made it a safe and fair place to speak up. We all knew what it was like to be that animal in the eyes of someone else. We all knew what it was like to be misunderstood and judged. We were over it in about 10 minutes from revelation to relation.

What makes guys like you think you have all the answers?

Post
#1252138
Topic
Ask the trans woman (aka interrogate the trans woman)
Time

snooker said:

An adult wanting to have sex with prepubescent children should not be compared with two consenting adults minding their own fucking business. That shouldn’t need explaining.

It’s not his choice though. Just like it’s not mine. And just like, I’m assuming, it’s not the OP’s. The only difference is what the pull is. Not the choice. I figured this would be the last thread where a guy would feel judged.

Seriously

Post
#1252137
Topic
Ask the trans woman (aka interrogate the trans woman)
Time

moviefreakedmind said:

What is SSA? And fuck any attempt to compare or link LGBT orientations to pedophilia. I have no tolerance for that.

Why the fuck do I care what your tolerance level is?

I’m talking about the real world. I’m talking about a group I’m a part of. We hang together and share our stories and don’t judge. Unlike you, you prick.

If you knew this guy? You’d know he has a heart of gold. He’s really fighting this. He’s doing all the right things. The only difference is he’s honest about his pull. He’s not some monster hiding in your childhood closet.

Honest to God some people here are such assholes.

Like what gives you the right to judge this guy? What bloody right makes you all that and more?

Post
#1252043
Topic
Ask the trans woman (aka interrogate the trans woman)
Time

What’s your take on dysphoria in terms of rating its cause to be physically caused verses psychological?

I mean take apotemnophilia or xenomelia? Both of these are obviously disorders. Obviously. I mean I’d have a hard time thinking anyone anywhere really thinks that wanting to cut your own limbs off is ever gonna be accepted as normal enough to have its own parade. They’re both accepted as caused by physical breaks in the brain. They’re not even so much psychological as physical brain wiring problems.

Now compare that to pedophilia or SSA? The view I’ve gotten is SSA’s moved from being classed as a psychological problem to just a sub-type? But I don’t think the same’s been agreed about pedophilia. I mean I still think people assume that’s more something a guy should go to a doctor to try to get a cure from. I think most people are assuming a pedophile deserves jail time if he doesn’t fight his ‘disease’. I think most people seem to think that’s a psychological failing.

But having a good pal who’s a pedophile I can tell you honestly that I seriously doubt any level of psycho-analysis is seriously going to fix his pull. I mean it’s all so much against what he wants to be? But it’s so so close to who he is at the same time. Still, he and I agree that my SSA and his problem have a common link. He figures it’s based on something mental. Or based on some sort of cause and effect. It’s a long story. But he figures it’s based on something that maybe could be unlearned. He’s hoping for treatment. Maybe even a cure. But I’m not so sure.

So what do you think? Is dysphoria more likely to be caused by something physical or psychological? And I mean if there was treatment for it (other than surgery) would you even want to take it?

Post
#1244054
Topic
Politics 2: Electric Boogaloo
Time

SilverWook said:

What could anyone gain from putting their life and that of their family in jeopardy on a false accusation? Ford is going to be watching her back possibly the rest of her life. The world is full of crazies who hold grudges, unfortunately.

Money? I mean if you’re the type to believe this is a set-up it’s probably pretty easy to believe there’s a big chunk of cash waiting for her somewhere.

I mean her freaking GoFundMe alone is almost up to $480,000. That’s a pretty strong motive by itself.

And who knows what other secret account might also be waiting for her in some dark corner. I mean I don’t know at all if she’s telling the truth? But people have lied for a hell of a lot less.

https://ca.gofundme.com/help-christine-blasey-ford

Edit: Quote from site

"Important Update – We want to be very clear that the money raised from this campaign is going directly to the Ford Family. They are the only authorized beneficiary. We have worked closely with GoFundMe to ensure this. This campaign is a great way to contribute directly to the family to cover the immediate security and personal expenses they are incurring.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your support! "

We’re probably seeing the last generation where some sort of tangible evidence of one’s unsavory past is hard to come by. Future politicians and would be nominees are going to have their digital and social media skeletons to deal with. But the internet seldom forgets.

Post
#1243852
Topic
Politics 2: Electric Boogaloo
Time

moviefreakedmind said:

Trident said:

chyron8472 said:

Trident said:

So that’s where I’ve gotten to be a bit of a Jordan Peterson watcher. I mean that guy’s videos are sometimes pretty good. I connect with the way he lays things out most of the time. I mean I’m hardly a disciple? But that guy has a way of talking that’s usually a class act. At least in the ones I’ve watched anyway. I mean sometimes he comes across a bit angry or maybe stubborn in places? But usually he’ll admit when he’s wrong in an argument. So that scores points with me.

I can’t get past that Cathy Newman interview where she kept saying “So what you’re saying is [not at all what he just said].” Peterson might even be crazy, but to strawman his words in such a comically farcical way makes it hard for me to take opposition to him seriously.

Yeah I watched that one too. And felt the exact same way. Don’t sum up what a guy just said in totally different words. Just ask him to clarify.

Or just do what I do, which is attack his actual opinions.

I like talking them through instead of attacking. But I get what you mean. It’s better for sure.

Post
#1243847
Topic
Politics 2: Electric Boogaloo
Time

chyron8472 said:

Trident said:

So that’s where I’ve gotten to be a bit of a Jordan Peterson watcher. I mean that guy’s videos are sometimes pretty good. I connect with the way he lays things out most of the time. I mean I’m hardly a disciple? But that guy has a way of talking that’s usually a class act. At least in the ones I’ve watched anyway. I mean sometimes he comes across a bit angry or maybe stubborn in places? But usually he’ll admit when he’s wrong in an argument. So that scores points with me.

I can’t get past that Cathy Newman interview where she kept saying “So what you’re saying is [not at all what he just said].” Peterson might even be crazy, but to strawman his words in such a comically farcical way makes it hard for me to take opposition to him seriously.

Yeah I watched that one too. And felt the exact same way. Don’t sum up what a guy just said in totally different words. Just ask him to clarify.

No problem

Post
#1243823
Topic
Politics 2: Electric Boogaloo
Time

chyron8472 said:

Jay said:

chyron8472 said:

Jay said:

All I know is that activism is slowly replacing reason on the left

While that may be true, activism has already replaced reason on the right. Both sides demonizing each other and glorifying themselves, as though either side has a monopoly on reason, to the detriment of reason itself.

Consider that Rush and Hannity cater exclusively to the right and have done so for a long time; and how many on the right are quick to defame Obama or Hillary, but are extremely hesitant, or flat out refuse, to oppose Trump’s views or actions (except in secret) now that he’s the president.

To be clear, and I’ve mentioned this before, one should not infer that I approve of or don’t see actions on the right that I’m currently criticizing on the left. I’ve seen this in a lot of political discourse, and not just here. It’s almost like some kind of reverse whataboutism, where if you criticize one side for something, people point out that you’re not criticizing the opposite side at the same time, which means you must condone the same actions on the opposite side. It’s bizarre.

Speaking for myself, I’m not a leftist nor a liberal. I’m a moderate devout-Christian Democrat from Oklahoma who is increasingly disenfranchised with the whole political scene in general. To be sure, my intellectual beliefs line up a lot with those on the left side of the aisle, but my faith purportedly not as much.

And that’s a big beef I have with either side. The left often belittles faith in God, and Christianity in particular, as archaic superstitious nonsense; and the right uses (pretend?) “faith” as a political tool to garner votes. Though I find the latter much, MUCH more irritating than the former, since they bizarrely cite faith while doing things wholly contrary to what their faith teaches them were they actually familiar with it (which amounts to them being Pharisees).

Yeah. I’m pretty much lining up with this here.

With the slight sway in that I’m probably more right than left. I mean my religion’s at war with my heart even on the best days. So I give a nod to keeping a bit right on the social side? But then when it comes to fiscal policy I guess I’m more of a bit left there. I mean I don’t believe in wide open capitalism. I think stores are getting way the hell too big and guys with deep pockets are buying too many votes.

That said? I also think our county’s got a problem with emotion winning instead of reason. I mean you see it in the news. You see it in the universities. You see it just about everywhere really.

So that’s where I’ve gotten to be a bit of a Jordan Peterson watcher. I mean that guy’s videos are sometimes pretty good. I connect with the way he lays things out most of the time. I mean I’m hardly a disciple? But that guy has a way of talking that’s usually a class act. At least in the ones I’ve watched anyway. I mean sometimes he comes across a bit angry or maybe stubborn in places? But usually he’ll admit when he’s wrong in an argument. So that scores points with me.