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Spuffure

User Group
Members
Join date
19-Nov-2016
Last activity
25-Sep-2022
Posts
839

Post History

Post
#1505315
Topic
The Copypasta Thread
Time

Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can’t free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you’ve broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.

Post
#1501700
Topic
The Copypasta Thread
Time

I know that a lot of people want to catch em’ all, but my job is a much bigger challenge. It is my goal to masturbate to all 898 Pokemon, plain and simple. I usually try to do it twice a day, regardless of the difficulties. At the end, I always win. I go on places like Deviantart, rule 34 and, occasionally e621 in order to achieve this massive goal, and when I finally do, I will become a Pokemon Master. Sometimes, it is easy. I can come in five minutes looking at Gardevoir or Lopunny pornos. Sometimes I come across major challenges that I have to overcome, in the case of Garbodor and Magikarp especially. I have to imagine the wet, sloppy fish mouth sucking on my cock without thinking about the actual fish itself. It is very hard, but the satisfaction you get when you achieve victory is immense. Not only do you get the generally pleasurable feeling from ejaculation, but you also know that you overcame an obstacle few men have dared to try. I have a total of 347 successful ejaculations total, but it only gets harder as I move on. When I see a Serperior, for instance, I have to think to myself “In what way can I imagine this creature in order to get off to it?” It is a puzzle for sure, considering I do not have a thing for (most) of these creatures, making it extremely entertaining and interesting for others to watch. I try to focus in on its somewhat beautiful face, and think about that more than the yards of snake behind it. I sometimes have issues with Pokemon like Machamp, who appear extremely male. But I always find a way. There has been no hurdle too steep for me. I want to be the very best. Anything lower does not cut it. And that is why I am beating off to pictures of Lucario on the Internet, mom.

Post
#1501584
Topic
The Copypasta Thread
Time

This is a a thread where we post random/funny/relatable/whatever copypastas from around the web. Have fun, and Donald Trump will cum back in 2024 as Dark MAGA. He will use the power of goth (from listening to too much metal after losing 2020) and Jesus Christ to show the demoncrats and the cabal why they shoes raggedy. Joe Biden’s fate? Stuck in the cum jar for 250 days.

Oh yeah, I forgot, this is possibly NSFW.

Post
#1501102
Topic
If you need to B*tch about something... this is the place
Time

Anakin Starkiller said:

I saw a video on that a while back.

If you can, may I have a link to that video?

JackNapier said:

Spuffure said:

Light rant/minor pet peeve

It’s super annoying to get a “best of” CD and find out that all the tracks are re-recorded, especially when they’re not as good as the original recordings.

I know that pain

Thanks. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

Post
#1500799
Topic
If you need to B*tch about something... this is the place
Time

Yeah, I get it, they’re a separate community to people with physical disabilities, but “neurodivergentphobic” sounds absolutely stupid and disrespectful to the Greek language.

Speaking of which, it’s a shame how much the suffix “-phobia” has been misused like crap by millennials and so it’s hard to take the suffix seriously anymore.

Also, Superweapon VII, what the hell is your new avatar?

Post
#1499740
Topic
The Unpopular Film, TV, Music, Art, Books, Comics, Games, & Technology Opinion Thread (for all you contrarians!)
Time

Superweapon VII said:

Eyepainter said:

J_Scarp73 said:

A movie must have characters that I can relate to or/and can get emotionally attached, has to have a great narrative, a very well put beginning middle and end and acting has be at least subpar. If a film lacks any and or all the movie will fail.

Damn. When did this become unpopular?

If you’re a fan of Surrealist film, this will be unpopular.

As well as Monty Python, Airplane, Naked Gun, and other surreal and nonsensical comedies.

Post
#1499739
Topic
The Unpopular Film, TV, Music, Art, Books, Comics, Games, & Technology Opinion Thread (for all you contrarians!)
Time

CourtlyHades296 said:

With studios in the news for deleting films they don’t consider profitable from streaming services, having a collection of over 700 physical films is a worthwhile investment not only for your own library but for film preservation.

Agreed. I still use streaming services occasionally, but I’ll always love physical media. It makes life simpler, quality over quantity.