I watched this the weekend you PMed me the link and wanted to write a response right away but it resonated with me so much that I couldn’t help but rewatch it, rethink on your choices and dwell on how well your story works.
First off… I love the general story and liked it so much that it made me rethink what was possible with the source material. Luke’s last moment is a great choice. Repurposing Luke and Leah’s conversation at TLJ works wonderfully an epilogue to Ben’s death. This was absolutely a great and fitting ending for the Skywalker legacy. This is a Skywalker story through and through with Rey taking the mantle at the end from Luke. The Skywalker prophecy works even better since it doesn’t work as everyone expected. Annakin, through Luke and Luke through Rei brings balance to the force not just by destroying the Sith but the Jedi as well giving the force back to the masses.
I actually got a slightly different take than what you might have intended. This Luke is not necessarily going through PTSD but rather denial and depression. His optimism from RotJ is not broken by his failure with Kylo but from the inevitable knowledge that to fulfill his purpose, Luke has to allow the deaths of Leah, Kylo and now this new student Rey. He has this line where he tells Rey this won’t end the way she thinks. TWhen Luke knew Rey would die and early on knew Kylo needed to die as well.
While this might not fit your vision here’s some changes I think would greatly enhance this narrative.
When you see the true flashback, Luke never takes out his lightsaber. He holds out his hand to sense what’s in Kylo and sees visions of Kylo getting stabbed by his lightsaber, Rey getting knocked down on Exegol and Leah looking forlorn. He further sees visions of Exegol and a quick flash of the Emperor. Kylo only sees Luke with Lightsaber in hand because Palpatine made him see that. Luke just had his hand out the entire time.
When Luke goes to destroy the Jedi temple he does so decisively. Yoda doesn’t do it for him. Luke knows he has to do it so he does. He’s the Jedi Master now and doesn’t flip flop. He’s as big an authority here as Ben or Yoda were in the original trilogy.
I think a quick edit of Force Awakens would be a good idea. When Kylo speaks with Vader’s helmet there can be distorted voices from the Emperor telling him to kill the Jedi and kill the girl. The idea would be that Luke and Palpatine and are moving pawns on the board. Luke, knowing the endgame requires a Queens Gambit, has refused to continue.
Have you considered putting the Luke/Leah scene before Kylo’s death? It could serve as a scene where they bid farewell and as a step towards accepting the inevitable for Luke. Kyle’s death is also a but underwhelming but I don’t know how that could be fixed.
Don’t want to sound too negative because your vision really resonated with me. Great Job. This is how I wanted Luke to go out.