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SUDOKU9

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Join date
22-Jun-2023
Last activity
22-Sep-2023
Posts
4

Post History

Post
#1546509
Topic
The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!)
Time

NeverarGreat said:
It is a time of darkness.
Luke Skywalker, last of
the legendary Jedi Knights,
has vanished.

I dont think you need a whole paragraph just for luke being missing.

Emboldened by the Jedi’s
absence, agents of the
evil FIRST ORDER have
risen from the shadows
of an Imperial fortress
to sow chaos and fear
throughout the vulnerable
New Republic.

I think it would be could to say something like “risen from the scattered remnants of the empire” since remnants of the empire is something that has been mentioned a lot in the mandoverse and it could help to connect the story a bit more.

Racing against time, a
brave RESISTANCE sworn
to secrecy by the Republic
has sent its daring pilots
across the galaxy, vowing
to find the last Jedi and
restore peace and justice
to the darkening stars…

IMO “Sworn to secrecy by the republic” is still too vague to explain the state of the galaxy.

My personal take, using most a of your words since i got not an ounce of originality, would be something like

Luke Skywalker, last of
the legendary Jedi Knights,
has vanished. The evil
FIRST ORDER takes the oportunity
to rise from the remnants
of the EMPIRE.

The NEW REPUBLIC refuses
to act on this looming threat.
General Leia Organa sets up
the RESISTANCE, with the help
of old allies in and out of
the SENATE, hoping to defend the galaxy.

Hoping to put a quick end to
the conflict, the RESISTANCE
sends their most daring pilots
to locate their last hope…

I know is not the best, but that’s the general setup i feel works best.
THE FIRST ORDER COMES,
THE NEW REPUBLIC WONT HELP,
THIS IS HOW THE MOVIE STARTS