Well my mind does think of Hal (and others’) had about Rey’s lightning being yellow to help differentiate her use of it from Palpatine. And how the lightning she’s deflecting back at Palpatine could turn yellow, showing that she can embrace her anger without letting it control her. Basically, accepting her shadow-self without being afraid of it. And then that can help tie her yellow lightsaber to her newfound self-awareness.
True. JJ and Terrio speak on the idea on balance being something that must constantly be maintained, rather than being a permanent state, but it doesn’t really address what balance means. What does balance mean to me? Or to kids who are watching this?
I’ve said this before, I think it would be interesting if she heard Jedi say things like, “Love is essential to a Jedi’s life.” or “Fear/Anger is a natural part of life.”
Basically, telling Rey not to deny her emotions. That love, fear, or anger are not inherently bad, if you have a healthy relationship with your emotions.
I’m not really sure what her destroying Palpatine could be a metaphor for, though. Haha.
I think Rey not being alone at the end helps, either with family (like the Falcon stuff snooker’s been working on), with Ben Solo, or with both.
Maybe the Jedi voices she hears in the end could tell her things beyond “rise Rey”. Like actual advice.
The stuff with the yellow lightning might help imply her assimilating with her inner shadow. Hmm.
Didn’t know what you were saying at first, then the memory hit me like a freight train.
Something I can’t get out of my head is Closer Look’s video about Rey’s character arc in the movie.
Basically, his idea was that Rey should’ve failed to save to Chewie, and protect her friends, but then when she taps into the dark side she has enough power to protect them, and this is what the chances of her falling to the dark side more likely.
In his mind, he felt that Rey thinking she killed Chewie by using the dark side would make her afraid of using the dark side at all. Why would she turn if that is the message she is getting from it? She should’ve seen how the dark side is the quick and easy path, like Yoda described. That using the dark side gives her what she wants, at a cost…
I think that is why I was playing around with the idea of Rey having a vision that she would fail and her friends would die in the final battle. Let her believe she won’t be powerful enough to save her friends unless she taps into the dark side, sort of how Anakin thought only the dark side would allow him to be strong enough to save Padmé.
I really want justice for Rey’s character arc. Maybe it already is fine as-is, but I feel like it is missing something, like a Jungian solution to the conflict between the Ego and Shadow, and the synthesis of the anima and animus. She needs to personify the answer to the flaws of the old Jedi, and I don’t know if at this point she really does that.
Holy shit Eddie that is awesome and horrifying at the same time. (You’re a fun storyteller by the way! I could vividly imagine that uncomfortable situation.)
I actually do like the mention of Kylo wanting to end the cycle of war.
I agree with your overall mindset about the crawl, too. Sometimes when I write crawls, I try to map out the cause and effect in order for the paragraphs to flow well together. It also helps makes the stakes clearer.
This isn’t written as a crawl, but this is kind of an outline I think could work well.
Paragraph 1: Because the legend of Skywalker has sparked hope across the galaxy, the First Order resources are spreading thin from quelling countless rebellions.
Paragraph 2: Because the First Order is vulnerable, the Resistance races to unite these scattered freedom fighters in order to turn the tide of the war to their favor.
Paragraph 3: Because Kylo Ren is desperate for a solution to this problem, he chases whispers of a lost Imperial fleet that can help him end the cycle of war once and for all.
It’s similar to the crawl you posted recently (I actually looked back at it after I wrote this because I forgot exactly what it said). The difference with Paragraph 1 is that explicitly mentions the effect of the events of the Last Jedi directly inspired these rebellions. It also makes the state of the First Order clearer: Their resources are being exhausted from quelling uprisings.
Because of this, Leia wants to seize this opportunity to tilt the scales by uniting these disparate factions together.
Because the Resistance is growing, Kylo is looking to counter their growing numbers with a brand new (old) fleet. I like the phrase “chasing whispers” because it could refer to literal rumors, or whispers in his head.
What I like about making these opposite goals clear is that I think it better sets up the final battle between a fleet of united worlds versus a fleet of old imperial warships. It makes the final battle feel inevitable, in a way.
EDIT: Sorry if I’m being redundant! If you feel like I’m going in the right direction I could try writing an actual crawl based off your most recent one.
Ah, good idea. Maybe we could just reuse the rendition that will be cut if we remove the initial Chewbacca surviving reveal.
I would just make it Jedha rather than a new Sith world (we already have one with Exegol). I like the idea of them heading toward Jedha, expecting a wasteland, but then see people living, thriving, actually being happy, in the aftermath of the end of the world. Maybe they’re just pilgrims, not living there necessarily. But it ties into this film’s theme of healing wounds.
Also, they say they’re going to the Forbidden Valley on Pasana, so it would make since that a Forbidden Valley on Jedha might have some ties with the Sith. Also, if Ochi is a Jedi Hunter, it makes sense to go to a Jedi world to find something important.
Look on Dom’s thread, I think he already figured something out.
I think if you could take happy/sad out, I would. It’s just incredibly lazy. It’s just as bad as having a human character literally saying they’re happy and sad. They have this incredible puppet that they could emote their emotions in an interesting way. It’s just a crutch.
I think the rest of his dialogue is fine, like “No thank you.” At least that’s has some semblance of subtext.
I may have been the only one that had this thought, but when Ahsoka and Rex were contemplating what to when all the troops were standing down in the hangar, I thought things were going to go in a lot different direction.
For a brief moment, I thought they would have the droids deactivate the hangar shields and suck all the clones out into space.
That would’ve been super dark, and probably out of character, but I thought Ahsoka was going to give herself up because she wasn’t willing to kill her clones. Rex, having to choose between Ahsoka’s life or his brothers‘, chooses Ahsoka and orders the droids to deactivate the hangar shields. Ahsoka tries to protest but it’s too late.
Audience: Please, D-O, tell me how I should feel about the ending?
Audience: WOOOO THIS WAS AMAZING I LOVE YOU JJ ABRAMS!
@snooker, I definitely think having Chewie, Finn, Poe and BB-8 there at the end is enough to feel like she’s has her newfound family there with her. It would be interesting if we could hear C-3PO, R2, and maybe Rose chattering in the background, even if we can’t see them. It would be great if we could find good shots to use of them, but hearing them in the background could be nice too. On the other hand, it could make the ending too crowded or busy, noise-wise.
EDIT: Also wanted to mention that I REALLY appreciate the title of that video clip.
It was really fun overall! My thoughts will probably be very sporadic so bear with me. Also, my memory off all the plot points is a little foggy since I read it sporadically as you posted, so I definitely have forgotten things. Also, I definitely missed things too, like I totally missed that BB-8 “died” at first.
You definitely came up with ideas I never really considered, like Maz leading a gang of pirates, the medieval-style planet, Hux fencing with a lightsaber and actually being good, everyone using the Force at the end. I think that works as nice counter to Thrawn basically wanting to destroy it.
I will say one thing I wasn’t expecting was your depiction of the Knights of Ren. I imagined them as entirely different characters than the one’s we glimpsed in TFA. In TFA they seem dark, rugged, and dangerous. Whereas the Knights in Shattered Sword feel like the valiant Knights of the Round Table. I do think the hellscape idea would be interesting.
One thing I liked was that every character had a moment, even background characters like Connix or the Resistance Doctor.
I think one thing I would do differently if I were rewriting Episode IX, would be to have a lot of conflict and tension between Kylo and the Resistance crew from the beginning, and have that relationship grow until they’re friends by the final act. I feel like after Kylo makes Finn the commander of the army towards the beginning of the story, a lot of that potential conflict within the group goes away.
I also think the moment where Rey and Ben contemplate suicide in the dead ship is pretty dark for a Star Wars movie, but I guess we almost got Hux committing seppuku onscreen too. 🤷♂️
As far what I would like to see happen, you actually hit a lot of the beats I would like to see. I, like many people, like the idea of the final battle taking place on Coruscant. We also get redeemed Ben, Poe as a leader, Finn with other stormtroopers.
Of course there are some things I would do differently. I have certain scenes in my head that I would like to see play out. I definitely think figuring out the climax is a hard thing to do, and I think that is part of the struggle for me. How do create a satisfying antagonist when you make the most compelling villain a good guy in the first or second act?
I think you do a pretty good job of it in a unique way. I think I followed it pretty well for the most part. I typically get lost in action scenes, but I think I kept up with what was going on for the most part! I do think your second draft ideas are interesting, although I’m skeptical about Kylo being in carbon freeze and seeing how that would play out.
I do think Rey and Ben need to be close together whenever the climatic moment happens. I think it felt weird to me, that Ben was having this dramatic moment but Rey wasn’t really there with him, even though they are the two main characters. I don’t know if that makes sense.
A part of me is tempted to write out my own rewrite, but seeing how much you wrote, the prospect is slightly intimidating. 😂
I know many people have written crawls that describe Kylo Ren on a quest to discover the origin of his former master’s power, and I was trying to think of a way that could tie Snoke, Palpatine, Vader and Mustafar together.
Right now, I’m playing around with this idea of starting the movie with Kylo touching Vader’s helmet to sort of lead him the right way to the wayfinder on the planet surface. So he touches the helmet, then he would hear the voices of either Snoke and/or Vader, and get quick flashes of Vader’s castle, the Sith wayfinder, and the Exegol temple/the fleet. The idea being that this is Palpatine speaking through Vader’s helmet, trying to lead him the way to Exegol. I also would fit the “Find me” line somewhere in here. I’m still not exactly sure what to fit in the vision but maybe others would have some ideas about this. But I think it should set up Kylo’s “want” in the film, whatever that is.
But, I thought it would be interesting to have a shot of Snoke on Mustafar, standing in front of the Sith Wayfinder (either to use it to find Exegol, or to place it there as part of Palpatine’s plans). But I was thinking it could be a quick shot of something like this.
Regarding the Skywalker Saber, we talked about adding some kind of effect to it to make it feel slightly different, though we never really pinned down an effect that just clicked with anyone.
It’s funny, the What the Force podcast did an episode on the score, and they specifically mentioned the idea of having Rose’s theme during Finn’s talk with Jannah. They said they’re glad they didn’t do that because it would just be liking pouring salt in the wound, which I get, but without footage I think it is the only way to give her anymore sense of presence or impact in this film.
What a great idea! Now only if Rose could be there. 😭
Haven’t finished it yet. Any thoughts to how his thoughts could be applied to a fan edit?
Eh, it’s all good, Hal. You’ve already contributed a lot to fan editing community, and a lot of us have just given our own thoughts, so I think with this being the last film in the Skywalker saga, it’s a good time for us to contribute. You’re essentially acting as a moderator to our ideas, helping to steer the work in the right direction. We all have so many ideas, and even though they’ll be plenty of other edits, like krausfadr’s and Don’s (and much more I’m sure), it’s nice to have a concentrated effort to help motivate and execute ideas.
I definitely think it would be fun to do some kind of stream or commentary for this!
The music works really well, Dom!
I think Rey killing her parents is still better than Rey Palpatine, but if I could make a version without some new revelation about her past, I would prefer it.
I don’t think you need a whole scene, just enough shots for a disjointed vision. Rey on the throne, lightning shooting up from the sky toward the fleet, a shot of Poe in his cockpit, then Snap’s X-wing crashing, an implied death for Finn, etc.
I’ll try to play around with the idea and see how doable it is.