Thanks, actually the set up is already there, when Mace ask’s Obi-Wan if the cloners have anything to do with the assassination attempts. However Obi-Wan claims that there is no motive…
Yeah Obi-Wan isn’t the fastest to catch up, though I must admit that I hadn’t noticed that either until now 😃
Upon rewatching AOTC, albeit in form of an edit, I was wondering whether it would be possible to pin Padmé’s assassination on the Kaminoans. It would certainly make more sense than to pin it on the separatist. After all they would profit from continued negotiations. The Kaminoans on the other hand want to sell an army and by sheer coincidence the leading figure behind the opposition to this endeavor has become the subject of numerous assassination attempts.
To me, that sounds like a promising plot for a thriller. It gives Obi-Wan something to actually work out and puts the Jedi and the Republic on the spot to make a difficult choice: Choose justice and play into the separatist hands or choose war to defend the republic. Adding yet another layer of irony to Order 66.
The only things, I am still struggling to fit into this narrative are Jango’s involvement with Dooku and the missing archive data on Kamino. The second point could potentially be dropped with Obi-Wan hitting Dex’s to determine the origins of the dart and heading to Kamino immediately after.
Though the first point might be more difficult to make sense of.
The funeral and all the build up to it was simply perfect and hit deeper than I would have ever imagined, especially in context with everything going on in this world. I haven’t watched the whole episode yet, because I had to take a break and that broke the flow of the episode so I decided to let it rest for now and give it a complete watch tomorrow.
The only thing subtracting from this series (which I wasn’t fond of a first, I’ll admit) is the fact that Cassian isn’t an original character to it. Honestly Rogue One doesn’t even remotely play in the same league.
This edit seems to fix everything I always wanted to fix myself. I would love to have a look for myself, could I get a link please?
mheh
7*29
3*67
199
2^2 * 7^2
2^6 * 3
Einhundertundneunzig
I liked it, especially everything about Dooku. I would like to see more about his story, expanding into his effort to forge the separatist alliance and so forth.
Other than that I would love to see an episode on Qui-Gons and Obi-Wans adventure on Mandalore.
I agree with vranir, maybe loose the “wishing to board immediately” scene and alter the first Sidious appearance.
Something like this:
•Crawl
•The cruiser appears, lands aboard the federation ship and two hooded figures leave.
•Wide shot of the command bridge, insert “a transmission from the planet” but not the video.
•All communication is cut and Sio Bibble suspects an invasion. Maybe I’d add padmé’s “they wouldn’t dare that far” and finish the scene on “I will not condone a course of action, that will lead us to war.” Simply because it’s one of the better shots in the movie.
•The ship is blown up, the gas gets released and Gunray instructs the Battledroids to “destroy the rest of them”
•The door opens and the action ensues
•The Jedi dodge from the scene, see the invasion army and decide to warn the naboo.
Let’s see maybe next week I’ll find the time to try my hands on this.
I think that idea has potential, I’d love to see a mock up of that.
Answering questions, explaining things and helping people to understand things is not a real conversation. In the university I feel more like an encyclopedia than a human being. At least this is the main way in which people approach me and it is my fault, add that.
Here’s a little idea, I don’t know how valuable it would be, but it might be worth thinking about:
You could potentially move Padmé’s early conversation by video with the Neimoidians on their bridge to when she’s on Tattooine.
During the “The death toll is catastrophic”/“It’s a trap, send no reply” segment, you could follow that up a short time later with Padmé’s “The Trade Federation have gone too far this time” - and then follow that with the launch of the probe droids and eventual attack by Maul.
Does that make for an interesting throughline?
That is a nice idea indeed, however Padmé isn’t onboard her ship when they receive Sio Bibble’s transition.
I like my face
I like your face
Let’s keep general Zod
186
Double post
Using the Rey/Luke plot from the TLJ as the framework for a series of flashbacks exploring the whole saga sounds amazing. Especially because it would supplement the saga neatly without replacing anything really. If I was to take a shot at it, I would try to strike a balance between flashbacks and our main story of Luke gathering his courage to escape his self imposed exile and restore hope once again.
So thinking about it from this angle, it really should start with the destruction of the Hosnian system. This sets up the story, the capital is destroyed, the FO rules with fear and all hope seems lost. All hope but for the lightsaber, so Rey follows BB-8 and takes off with Chewie to find Luke. Then we follow their story on Ach-To, intercut with frequent flashbacks to the PT, the OT and maybe some scenes explaining Kylo‘s relationship with Rey, Han and Luke. In the end Rey leaves Luke behind to face Kylo, Luke has his moment with Yoda and we can transition to Luke facing Vader and the Emperor. After the flashback Luke joins the resistance on Crait and distracts Kylo, so that the rebellion can live.
We close on Luke watching the sun set over Ach-To and the kids on Canto Bight spreading the legend of Luke Skywalker. Broom Boy leaves the building and gazes up to the stars, where in this moment the falcon and the civil fleet appear, restoring said hope to the galaxy.
183
So, confined to my bed by illness, I thought about this movie again. Precisely I once again though about splitting up Amidala’s role, making Padmé and the Queen two separate people. To convincingly achieve this, I would age the Queen up considerably with a deep fake and remove her double from the final battle. Additionally I would record new dialogue for her and maybe something new for Gunray as well.
At this point it should be noted that though my train of though started with an edit, which I myself could actually make, it quickly shot off to the distant lands of the unfeasible. At least without a lot of help.
So, back to the meat. These changes would allow to alter the narrative substantially. In this version, the Trade Federation would initially side with the Queen, due to rising tension between the Gungan and the Naboo. They would garrison the land in the promise to aid the Naboo in case of an attack, but in reality, they would already be fighting and enslaving the Gungans. Gunray in particular would play a role akin to Grima Wormtongue, poisoning the aging regent with ill advice, thus turning her into the perfect personification of the fading Republic. Conceptionally this story should betide around her sitting quietly in the centre. In the decisive moments it comes down to her actions, but the story is about the people around her that shape her decisions.
Now, about the crawl, it should put emphasis on complacent state that the republic is in and like Faraday I fancy the wording of “a golden age is ending”, so that should make the first paragraph. The second should focus on the tensions on Naboo and the third should elaborate on the Federations part in all of it and mention the republic ambassadors.
Then, pan down to the evergreen Planet surrounded by war ships. Federation dropships descend to the surface. The holographic image of Gunray and his advisor appears and orders the droid commander of this landing force to search the swamps for Otoh Gunga and capture any Gungan alive.
Transition to Theed, accompanied by their closest advisors, Gunray and the Queen descend the stairs in conversation. The Queen stresses her intend to find a peaceful solution and Gunray describes thart a Gungan army is gathering in the marshes, expressing that the time of diplomacy has passed. However the Queen places faith in the republic ambassadors. At the bottom of the stairs a battle droid informs the Viceroy that his ship has arrived.
Then follows the original opening sequence, minus any mention of Sidious. After the Jedi spot the invasion army and decide to go and warn the Naboo, we cut to Battledroids taking a number of Gungans prisoner and see Jar Jar hiding under a cart, while observing the scene.
Back onboard the federation commandship, the Queen contacts Gunray to inquire about the ambassadors. Subsequently the communication is disrupted and Sio Bibble suspects an attack.
Cut back to the Jedi, who meet up with Jar Jar and make for Otoh Gunga with haste. A few dialogue tweaks here and there, indicating that Jar Jar is a deserter. Shorten the under water sequence and cut the Sidious hologram. The invasion of Theed replaces his scene.
After that the Jedi arrive in the city, free the Queen, persuade her to go to coruscant and the plot proceeds normally until after they escaped the blockade. Again, I would drop the Sidious scene and also cut the Queen thanking R2 as well. If we replace R2 with Anakin, this scene could be reused to a better purpose after their departure from Tatooine.
The Tatooine portion of the movie would mostly stay the same. Maybe I’d pitch Anakin’s voice down a little and Amidala’s up and change Anakin’s introduction as suggested on here before. The bet should definitely be simplified though.Maybe Anakin helping Jar Jar could be worked into a small character moment that encourages Jar Jar to stand up for himself.
It would create a nice arc for his character. He goes from being a coward that is being pushed around by droids half his height. Then he learns to stand up for himself and in turn encourages the Queen to do the same for her people. And finally he himself would lead his people against this very same enemy.
Anyway back to Tatooine. During the dinner scene and the conversation about slavery, Jar Jar should add a small remark like “Gungans get pasty too, eh?”, to tie the grim fate awaiting the Gungans to Anakin’s reality, forming a strong motivation for him to help.
I think I would skip Maul and Sidious talking on Coruscant, I’d like to keep Sidious out of the picture for as long as possible. Instead Maul should be sent by Gunray, building him up to a Tarkin like villain.
After the pod race is won and we have left Tatooine, the Queen thanks Anakin for his help. Maybe she could even promise him to help his mother.
On coruscant things proceed similar the original. Obviously Palpatine introducing the Queen to the senate would need to be altered. We would need to use a new name for the Queen, it should be a name that McDiarmid uses in some other movie he’s in and it should still sounds nabooish, but I don’t know if there is anything usable.
The biggest challenge might lie in the meeting of the Queen and Boss Nass. Ideally she should unintentionally anger Boss Nass, almost spoiling her plan to forge an alliance with the Gungans. This is the moment that Padmé should step in, essentially saving their only hope of freeing their people.
The finale plays out as usual, although I would cut most of the Gungan battle, Jar Jar has to look heroic in this and there isn’t that much footage to support that.
Lastly I would like to add a line of dialogue to palpatines arrival. After he addressed Anakin, he should promise him that the republic will free the slaves on Tatooine.
That’s basically the brought outline of the changes I have in mind. Surely there are still many small tidbits of dialogue that would need some attention to sell this new plot, but nothing too serious, unless I forgot about a major scene.
Besides that I am struggling when to introduce Palpatine as the shadow figure. I would like to tie it somehow to Qui-Gon’s feeling that something else is behind the federations move, but I have no idea how to implement this into the story.
I hope this wall of text is somewhat comprehensive, I had to take a few brakes form writing to rest a little.
Anyways I would like to hear your thought’s.
Ok, now the seminar tomorrow was cancelled 😕
Doesn’t help me, but at least my illness didn’t get in the way…
I have caught the worst cold, I can neither talk nor hear properly and tomorrow I’ve got a seminar that I really shouldn’t miss, because the feedback would help me immensely with my preparations for my own talk.
The seventh episode was a bit of a let down for me (we jumped around too much and I’m still very confused about some scenes) but overall I‘m liking this show a lot.