Peter Pan

5*41

paja said:

My try at executing Pan’s idea.

https://streamable.com/rnkglg

Cool, maybe we could add some interference or audio quirks to hide some of the off sentences.

Other than that I was reading through Neverar’s post and it got me thinking again. If the Kaminoans were trying to get Amidala out of the picture to cut out a deal with the republic, then we would need some indication, at least, that they are following a concrete plan, which doesn’t rely purely on coincidence.

The big question here is, how can this be accomplished within the framework of the existing movie.
So, albeit for a different reason and plot, Neverar was proposing a conversation between Gunray and Zam and pointed to the fact that there are two assassins.

This is important because the dart killing Zam is Jango’s way of leading the Jedi on to his trail. However the way it plays out originally feels random, thus breaking any illusion of a pre existing plan.

Though that could easily be changed by simply adding a closeup of Jango playing with the toxic dart in his hand, set to an ominous music cue at the end of his meeting with Zam.

Then I would simply remove the “missing data” point from the plot, there is no way to resolve it satisfyingly.

Obi visits Dex and goes to Kamino, there he learns of the army and questions Jango. This would be the tricky bit. We would need Jango to name drop Geonosis, maybe we could substitute it in for the “moons of Bogdan”.

And if it’s possible we should remove Sifo Dyas from the story, his is just another unresolved mystery distracting from the plot.

Now Obi contacts the council, reporting his suspicion, but he isn’t urged to capture Fett. Afterwards we could use the analysis droid deleted scene and change the droids line.
He analyses the dart and points out that the poison stems from a certain species of centipedes living on Geonosis. To drive the point home that these are indeed the bugs from the assassination attempt we could add a small graphic to the screen infront of Obi.

After that Obi charges to catch Jango and fights him on the landing platform, but the bounty hunter escapes without Obi-Wan placing a homing beacon on the ship.

After that the Jedi visits Geonosis and lands without facing any complications. (sadly there is no space for the Dolby surround sound bombs)

He spies on the separatist, no mention of any assassinations here, then contacts coruscant revealing both armies and gets arrested before accusing any party of the attempted murder.
One of the senators then blames the separatist and proceeds to call upon the chancellor to build an army. Yoda and Mace share a short glance at each other, but remain silent.

Meanwhile Dooku visits Obi-Wan in his cell. The Jedi claims to be looking for Fett, but he doesn’t insist on his presence on Geonosis. Jango only arrives after this scene, during the night, before Anakin and Padmé try to rescue Obi-Wan.

From this point on it should be smooth sailing.
Maybe cut Sidious’ final scene with Dooku, but there isn’t anything bigger in need of change.

I was approached by my professor about writing my bachelor thesis at her department. And in general this semester is going great, everything involving algebra and number theory is fascinating. The only course that I struggle to enjoy is elementary differential geometry, there is simply too much arithmetic involved. The greatest thing about leaving school mathematics behind was not needing to memorize that many formulas any more. Well, this course turned out to be just like that all over again.

NeverarGreat said:

“Do you think these cloners are involved in the plot to assassinate Senator Amidala?”
“No Master, there appears to be no motive.”

thereifixedit

If we’re at it, we should turn Mace‘s question into a suspicion: “You think these cloners are …” Answer: “Yes, Master” (taken from the end of the transmission)

I mean Obi-Wan just gave them the motive, he told them that these people want to sell an army. It makes no sense for Mace to ask an open question like that.

Thanks, actually the set up is already there, when Mace ask’s Obi-Wan if the cloners have anything to do with the assassination attempts. However Obi-Wan claims that there is no motive…
Yeah Obi-Wan isn’t the fastest to catch up, though I must admit that I hadn’t noticed that either until now 😃

Upon rewatching AOTC, albeit in form of an edit, I was wondering whether it would be possible to pin Padmé’s assassination on the Kaminoans. It would certainly make more sense than to pin it on the separatist. After all they would profit from continued negotiations. The Kaminoans on the other hand want to sell an army and by sheer coincidence the leading figure behind the opposition to this endeavor has become the subject of numerous assassination attempts.

To me, that sounds like a promising plot for a thriller. It gives Obi-Wan something to actually work out and puts the Jedi and the Republic on the spot to make a difficult choice: Choose justice and play into the separatist hands or choose war to defend the republic. Adding yet another layer of irony to Order 66.

The only things, I am still struggling to fit into this narrative are Jango’s involvement with Dooku and the missing archive data on Kamino. The second point could potentially be dropped with Obi-Wan hitting Dex’s to determine the origins of the dart and heading to Kamino immediately after.
Though the first point might be more difficult to make sense of.

The funeral and all the build up to it was simply perfect and hit deeper than I would have ever imagined, especially in context with everything going on in this world. I haven’t watched the whole episode yet, because I had to take a break and that broke the flow of the episode so I decided to let it rest for now and give it a complete watch tomorrow.

The only thing subtracting from this series (which I wasn’t fond of a first, I’ll admit) is the fact that Cassian isn’t an original character to it. Honestly Rogue One doesn’t even remotely play in the same league.

This edit seems to fix everything I always wanted to fix myself. I would love to have a look for myself, could I get a link please?

mheh

7*29

3*67

199

2^2 * 7^2

2^6 * 3

Einhundertundneunzig

I liked it, especially everything about Dooku. I would like to see more about his story, expanding into his effort to forge the separatist alliance and so forth.

Other than that I would love to see an episode on Qui-Gons and Obi-Wans adventure on Mandalore.

I agree with vranir, maybe loose the “wishing to board immediately” scene and alter the first Sidious appearance.
Something like this:

•Crawl

•The cruiser appears, lands aboard the federation ship and two hooded figures leave.

•Wide shot of the command bridge, insert “a transmission from the planet” but not the video.

•All communication is cut and Sio Bibble suspects an invasion. Maybe I’d add padmé’s “they wouldn’t dare that far” and finish the scene on “I will not condone a course of action, that will lead us to war.” Simply because it’s one of the better shots in the movie.

•The ship is blown up, the gas gets released and Gunray instructs the Battledroids to “destroy the rest of them”

•The door opens and the action ensues

•The Jedi dodge from the scene, see the invasion army and decide to warn the naboo.

Let’s see maybe next week I’ll find the time to try my hands on this.

I think that idea has potential, I’d love to see a mock up of that.

Answering questions, explaining things and helping people to understand things is not a real conversation. In the university I feel more like an encyclopedia than a human being. At least this is the main way in which people approach me and it is my fault, add that.

EddieDean said:

Here’s a little idea, I don’t know how valuable it would be, but it might be worth thinking about:

You could potentially move Padmé’s early conversation by video with the Neimoidians on their bridge to when she’s on Tattooine.

During the “The death toll is catastrophic”/“It’s a trap, send no reply” segment, you could follow that up a short time later with Padmé’s “The Trade Federation have gone too far this time” - and then follow that with the launch of the probe droids and eventual attack by Maul.

Does that make for an interesting throughline?

That is a nice idea indeed, however Padmé isn’t onboard her ship when they receive Sio Bibble’s transition.

I like my face
I like your face
Let’s keep general Zod

186

Double post

Using the Rey/Luke plot from the TLJ as the framework for a series of flashbacks exploring the whole saga sounds amazing. Especially because it would supplement the saga neatly without replacing anything really. If I was to take a shot at it, I would try to strike a balance between flashbacks and our main story of Luke gathering his courage to escape his self imposed exile and restore hope once again.
So thinking about it from this angle, it really should start with the destruction of the Hosnian system. This sets up the story, the capital is destroyed, the FO rules with fear and all hope seems lost. All hope but for the lightsaber, so Rey follows BB-8 and takes off with Chewie to find Luke. Then we follow their story on Ach-To, intercut with frequent flashbacks to the PT, the OT and maybe some scenes explaining Kylo‘s relationship with Rey, Han and Luke. In the end Rey leaves Luke behind to face Kylo, Luke has his moment with Yoda and we can transition to Luke facing Vader and the Emperor. After the flashback Luke joins the resistance on Crait and distracts Kylo, so that the rebellion can live.
We close on Luke watching the sun set over Ach-To and the kids on Canto Bight spreading the legend of Luke Skywalker. Broom Boy leaves the building and gazes up to the stars, where in this moment the falcon and the civil fleet appear, restoring said hope to the galaxy.

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