- Post
- #985952
- Topic
- "Son, you need to be happy with this gopher" - my unfinished silly Star Wars mistranslation project
- Link
- https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/985952/action/topic#985952
- Time
Hello. This was originally posted on Reddit, but somebody deleted my post without any explanation or notification whatsoever. One of the users who saw my original post contacted me and suggested I repost it here. The following is my original Reddit post, adjusted for formatting.
A long time ago I came up with a splendidly stupid idea: I’d take the subtitles to Star Wars and feed them through Bad Translator (http://ackuna.com/badtranslator). I managed to get halfway through before things stopped working right on the Bad Translator’s side - I can still use Yandex to translate manually, which I did for several lines towards the end, but it takes far too much time that way. I hoped I could present you with a complete silly mistranslation of the entire OT, but it seems that a half of Star Wars will have to do.
Anyway, here are some hand-picked examples of silliest mistranslations:
Original —> Bad translation
We’ll be sent to the spice mines of Kessel, or smashed into who knows what!
—> These trees are David, so the conditions of the boiler.
Don’t you call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease!
—> Call me blind, very strong, a philosopher, a standard oil!
Thank the maker! This oil bath is going to feel so good.
—> Thank you to the author! Oils, like my father, I feel good about myself and ointment.
I’ve got such a bad case of dust contamination, I can barely move.
—> You can contact people who are already married.
Boy, it’s lucky you had these compartments.
—> Son, you need to be happy with this gopher.
Only Imperial stormtroopers are so precise.
—> Only Islam is awesome, very reasonable.
I can’t understand how we got by those troops. I thought we were dead.
—> I don’t know how to reach God. I thought he was dead.
The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.
—> The impact of alcohol consumption may affect the brain.
You just watch yourself. We’re wanted men. I have the death sentence on 12 systems.
—> Come, you’ll see. We have a friend, and she is 12 years old.
This little one’s not worth the effort.
—> These people should not be high.
Fast ship? You’ve never heard of the Millennium Falcon?
—> Speed in the water, but you don’t hear anything from the eagle.
…any Imperial entanglements.
—> It’s just the bloody point of the Kingdom of God.
All systems are operational. What course shall we set?
—> Windows can’t protect you?
She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid.
—> It can be many things, but this is one of the most important things for small children.
Stop that ship! Blast them!
—> I can get in the pool! It’s incredible!
Watch your mouth, kid, or you’re gonna find yourself floating home.
—> Attention, the United Kingdom can find houses in the water.
I’m surprised you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself.
—> I’m surprised management is responsible for the person’s name and surname.
That’s ’cause a droid don’t pull people’s arms out of their sockets when they lose.
—> He is really good when he screams…
I suggest you try it again, Luke.
—> I suggest you try another hole.
We’ve come out of hyperspace into a meteor shower.
—> We dropped out of the bathroom in the future.
You can download the subtitles here: http://www.mediafire.com/download/ye6q939mttfn58j/SW_DE25_Eng_SILLY.zip. They’re modified subs from Harmy’s Star Wars Despecialized Edition 2.5, so I recommend playing that version, loading the subs and setting the audio to a language you don’t speak. Enjoy!
