Have you tried getting a job that isn’t your dream job but it’s still a job? I mean shit the cashiers at Walmart start at 11 bucks an hour these days and their only real qualification is a clean record, anything is better than nothing and Walmart has a way of becoming your family.
well, I don’t have a dream job to begin with. I’ve tried my area of expertise, so to speak, which I’ve inherited in a way from my father. I’m good at it, but it’s not what I want to do with my life. I knew I was getting into it just because I was absolutely desperate and needed something to do, and I saw first hand how much of an unfulfilling, lousy, tiring, unappreciated job it is. I could’ve tolerated it for a while if it wasn’t for the fact that, at best, I earned 50 bucks a week. People were taking advantage of me in different ways, and it got messy and ugly and then the money went bye bye, with the only option remaining being mobile top ups. Which if you knew how much time and work I invested in that lousy operation, you’d realize how insulting that felt. I understand, no more sponsors. So long then.
It isn’t so much finding another job now, as it is getting out of the house. I only go out every once in a while, I walk a few blocks, get groceries, and back home.
The thought of any sort of responsibilities, honestly, makes my brain crash and reset. File not found.
Cashier? I’d be lousy at it, and I’m not exhaggerating. Besides there’s no Walmart where I’m from.
I’ve been trying to find satisfaction and fulfillment any way I can. Cooking, so far, has been the only sparkle in a black void.
You see, whenever I do anything I think I’m crap at it, even if people tell me I’m good. My brain will always tell me that everything I do is terrible.
But when I cook, I can taste what I’ve cooked and hey, it isn’t half bad! So if other people tell me the cake I’ve made is very good, and I taste it and it tastes very good, then it would logically follow that I’ve made something good for once!