Alderaan is definitely on the right trak here.
BUT No, I would not take in Luke as the Mentor for Rey in TFA. I too think that is a bland choice.
Otherwise your ideas make perfect sense.
Kudos!
And what is it with the rude accusations of other forum members. Very un-jedi:ish. Alderaan made a very good post. Thank you.
I started venting my thoughts in the fan edit thread but this is a more proper thread for it.
NeverarGreat wrote a good crawl for the beginning.
The setting is that Luke has Vanished, the First order is sinister but probably does not possess a massive army. Enough evil however that a covert resistance led by general Leia is needed. The resistance tries to gather allies to fight the first order. Among the allies that needs to be found are ofcourse Luke.
Luke failing to train a new Jedi Order is ofcourse of grave importance to the story but that story can sort of unravel throughout the next trilogy.
The important story is how the Dark Side of the Force is rising and gaining followers again. Starting small as a disturbance in the Force would just make for a better story.
And Rey and Finn being more complex characters that are not sure if they want to be a part of this whole ordeal would also make for something way more believable. The dynamics of the grumpy Han Solo and Leia in the original trilogy was entertaining and compelling. The Force Awakens does not work in that aspect.
First post here, saw the movie last night and has been thinking about some things I would rewrite and/or edit. My random thoughts on plotlines and characters:
Luke tried to train new Jedis but it went sour, Luke had to go in hiding.
The Dark Side is making a comeback ( as a result of Lukes failure) and the peaceful republic is in danger. Since the Empire was destroyed in Return of the Jedi, the republic should be in peacetime so logically the Dark Force troops would be the ones that are organizing a resisting uprising and not the republic.
Han Solo and Leia had a son, Kylo Ren / Ben, but they lost him. They also ended their relationship and are not on speaking terms any more. They should be just as grumpy as they used to be.
Strained relations between characters was a key element of the original trilogy
There is a new “unknown” Jedi in the making but she needs Luke to train her.
Kylo Ren is good but could be even better if he grew some credibility as the movie moves along. He should kick of the movie with a small but dangerously powerful gang making some evil deeds. During the film he should be struggling with the Force and ends up gaining strength. As son of Han and Leia he could have been originally kidnapped OR part of the Jedi training that went wrong.
The Republic should not be resisting anyone in the beginning but Princess Leia (not general as it is a time of peace) is trying to warn politicians of the republic that something is wrong. Ofcourse Kylo Ren later makes an elaborate attack on the core of the republic and has everything crumbling into pieces once again.
That is when Leia puts on the General cap and pick up the fight. I would much prefer her being more of a hard edged type like she was in ANH and ESB. She does not have to be a nostalgic grandma just because she is older. Neither does Han.
Finn is one of the first of the new stormtroopers in the Dark Side gang but on that first mission he gets in trouble and decide to flee rather than battle.
That is a really potent setting but he does not have to have lightsaber fights to show his abilities.
Rey’s charachter could have more weight if it was less an echo of Luke and Anakin but more of a complex Han Solo type. And yes I find it odd that she is so suddenly able to use the force later on. Instead of being a poor scavenger in the beginning she could steal the role of Unkar Plutt (and even Watto from Phantom Menace) and be an opportunist scrapdealer that needs to learn moral values and the force but already posess a bit of knowledge about her supernatural abilities. She might be equally torn about what to do as Han Solo was in th eold days. Nevertheless Rey is the best thing that happened to Star Wars since A New Hope. The combination of her, Finn and BB-8 is amazingly good.
The escape with the Millenium Falcon was really cool and also the meetup with Han Solo. Classy element of surprise there. Chewbacca could perhaps have showed up in a different place just to switch some things around.
Maz Kanata is kind of Yoda:ish in charachter but somehow she seems a bit useless and the whole Mos Eisly copycat bar scene is just non-original. Can we delete this. Yes I think we can. Her voice is also non-fitting.
CUTS
Lets get rid of the third death star and the overly epic multi-destruction of the planets. Star Killer Base?.. come on. It’s another death star and it does not hold up for a third time. Let’s blow up something else or think of something completely different this time.
I was not convinced by the boring, stereotypical hero Poe and would just leave him on the cutting room floor. Mr. Best Damn Pilot is just not interesting enough.
The Pirates gangs that are after Han Solo are from Mad Max and could stay there.