HighGroundisOP

Hi everyone, happy to be here! I’m the redditor that Hal is referring to. Excited to discuss all the ideas here. Let’s start with the Mustafar landing scene since it came up.

First, Hal it looks great! Definitely think it is an improvement and accomplishes the goals, even if different from what I was proposing. I need to watch it a few more times before commenting on potential tweaks.

For everyone here, this was my pitch (slightly modified for clarity/brevity) on the scene:

The theatrical version of this scene is a mess. Anakin is all over the place. Your version is significantly better and super streamlined. I think there is an opportunity to expand it to add valuable characterization for the final scene between Anakin and Padme. The goal is to really drive home how far apart they are both in values, but also motivations.

There is so much editing required, I thought it would be better to give you a proposed script than all the detailed edits.

A: What are you doing out here?

P: I was so worried about you. Obi-wan told me terrible things

A: Obi-wan is trying to turn you against me. I am becoming more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of and I’m doing it for you.

P: All I want is your love.

A: Love won’t save you Padme. Only my new powers can do that.

P: At what cost? Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can.

A: Don’t you see. We don’t have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the republic. And together you and I can rule the galaxy, make things the way we want them to be.

P: Obi-wan was right. You’ve changed.

A: I don’t want to hear any more about Obi-wan. The Jedi turned against me, don’t you turn against me.

P: Anakin, you’re breaking my heart. You’re going down a path I can’t follow. Stop. Stop now. Come back. I love you.

A: Liar!

P: No.

A: You brought him here to kill me.

O: Let her go, Anakin.

P: Anakin

O: Let her go.

A: You turned her against me [overlay while pacing]. You will not take her from me!

O: Your anger and lust for power have already done that. You have…[scene continues as in LOE]

I like this edit because it re-orients the conversation from Anakin’s fear of loss as the primary motivator to a consistent lust for power. Every Padme question/emotional plea gets a response about Anakin’s power.

It breaks into 3 main conversation points:

1. Obi-Wan said terrible things because Anakin is growing so powerful
2. Love is irrelevant without power
3. Living a small happy life pales to ruling the galaxy.

This new framing highlights how their motivations are completely different by this point in the film and they are missing each other. Padme wants love. Anakin wants power/control.

I cut Anakin betraying Palpatine because he seems so manic, unsure, and drunk with power. I prefer that Anakin had a clear vision: gain the power to save lives through the dark side and create an empire where he and Padme can exert power, openly, together. The quick pivot to coup makes no sense, Anakin’s barely a sith, he still needs Palpatine. Plus it contradicts Vader’s loyalty to the Emperor in the OT.

I cut the “you’re with him” line that perpetually confuses audiences who think Anakin means romantically. Also it doesn’t add anything.

This one hurts a little, I cut the redundant “you turned her against me” “you have done that yourself” exchange. It’s tighter to overlay “you turned her against me” audio over Anakin pacing. Note: “you have done that yourself” is a much stronger line and delivery by Ewan, but OW removes his cloak during the “anger and lust for power” line so I think we are stuck with it.

I cut the beginning sentences off Padme’s last 2 big exchanges. The redundancy of the word “don’t” had to go and I think it reads tighter this way too.